I have often wondered what it might have been like to live at the time of the Saviour, and to have been in His presence. I also wondered if I would have been among those who recognized Him for who and what he was. When describing the world He lived in, Robert Matthews spoke of “the spiritually barren and parched condition of a people led by proud and insistent Pharisees, [wealthy] and powerful Sadducees, exclusive rabbis and learned scribes, . . .” (Robert Matthews pg 84, BEHOLD THE MESSIAH)(1)
There were many who were in the presence of Christ while He lived on the earth, without recognizing Him. He simply wasn’t what they expected him to be. In John we read that “He was in the world and the world was made by Him and the world knew Him not. He came unto his own and his own received him not.” (John 1:10,11)
John the Baptist taught a group of Jewish leaders that the Messiah was not only already on the earth – but living and walking among them, and yet they had not recognized him. So it is fair and reasonable to wonder if we might be any different. And yet. . . . . . . There were those who DID recognize Him. They testified “we have found Him! We have found the Messiah!”
Andrew, Simon, Philip, and Nathanael were among the first who declared that. Simeon at the temple recognized him when he was only an infant. Anna at the temple recognized the baby in Mary’s arms. Elizabeth recognized him before he was born. The magi who travelled from the east knew who He was when they found him. The shepherds who were the very first to visit him knew who he was.
All of these people had two things in common – * THEY were SEEKING Him. They were familiar with the scriptures which spoke of Him, they knew the signs to watch for, they knew the time was at hand. And. They. Sought Him.
There is a difference between knowing the Saviour and knowing about him. We must first learn about Him it is true, and we can do that by reading or listening, but in order to KNOW him, *we must want to know him. *We must actively SEEK to know him. *We must obey his commandments. *And we must be given a spiritual witness from the Holy Ghost. Jesus Christ may only be known through Revelation.
If we had lived in Jerusalem and walked the same streets as did the Saviour, and saw him in the mortal flesh we would not have known that He was the Messiah unless the Holy spirit whispered it to our spirit. The same crucial witness that we require was required of them too. That witness of course, is personal revelation. (2)
So merely being in His presence does not mean FEELING THAT ONE IS IN THE PRESENCE OF CHRIST and vice versa – FEELING the presence of Christ, does not have to mean BEING in His physical presence. In fact, they couldn’t be more exclusive and independent.
There are days when I can truly say “I have found the Messiah!” – and my joy is so full that I literally cannot contain it. It leaks out my eyes. On those days there is nothing I’d rather do than be in His service and feel His arms around me, and I want to try my best to be a “window to His love”(4). Then there are other days when life gets busy and I lose myself in the temporal demands of my day, and although I don’t lose my way, I may not feel that same wonderful closeness that I yearn for.
In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Lehi shares a dream. In it he was led to a “Tree whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.” And he “did go forth and partook of the fruit thereof; and [he] beheld that it was most sweet, above all that [he] had ever before tasted. Yea, and [he] beheld that the fruit was white, to exceed all the whiteness that [he] had ever seen. And as [he] partook of the fruit thereof, it filled [his] soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore [he] began to be desirous that [his] family should partake of it also, for [he] knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.” (1N 8:10-12)
We know from Nephi that the tree represented the love of God. Everyone has the love of God, because God loves us all. But not all of us can FEEL the love of God. What is the difference? Action. Our action. Lehi partook of the fruit of the tree – the fruit of the love of God. What is the fruit of the love of God? Apostle David Bednar says that the “fruit is a symbol for the blessings of the Atonement.“(5) And what is the Atonement? It is the sacrifice Jesus Christ made to help us overcome sin, adversity, and death. He paid the price for our sins, took upon Himself death and was resurrected. So as Lehi PARTOOK of the fruit of the tree, so must we PARTAKE OF THE BLESSINGS OF THE ATONEMENT.
David Bednar said “partaking of fruit of the tree represents the receiving of ordinances and covenants whereby the Atonement can become fully efficacious in our lives.” (4) The love of God is there. Just like the tree. You don’t have to do anything to make it real. It is what it is. Whether you know its there, whether you care if its there – makes no difference. It IS there. And the fruit – it is there too. But in order to benefit from the fruit, in order to taste it and to be nourished by it – one must partake of it. One must EAT it. Just like Lehi did.
Like many of you, I have felt His spirit. I have partaken of the blessings of the Atonement, received the ordinances and covenants that make the Atonement efficacious in my life – and it IS like the fruit Lehi described. He said that it “was desirable to make one happy, . . . . .” and that it “filled [his] soul with exceeding great joy”. When one feels that kind of joy, one really does think immediately of those we love. Like Lehi, we begin to “be desirous that our family should partake also“.
Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life by Robin Luch (6)
That must be what it feels like to be in the presence of Christ. I think that – because there is nothing else quite like it. Lehi described it as being more sweet than anything he had ever before tasted, with a whiteness that exceeded anything he had ever before seen, and that it was desirable above all else. Those are very vague attempts at description. It is as if it defies description. As if words just cannot convey. There are times when what we feel simply cannot be put into words. Those are the times, that feelings leak out of our eyes. At those times, we can say “ahhhhh, this is what I have heard about. No wonder they couldn’t describe it.”
It is my hope that we might all feel that feeling at some point. I absolutely know that we can. If we DESIRE to know Him. If we SEEK to know Him. And if we willingly PARTAKE of the fruit of His love.
Warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
footnotes
quote from Robert Matthews, pg 8 BEHOLD THE MESSIAH
Seasonal Affective Disorder (aka winter blues or winter depression) is a mood disorder in which people who normally enjoy good mental health experience mild to severe depression. In the winter.
Symptoms include a persistent low mood, decreased interest in work and sociability, feelings of isolation, increased anxiety, susceptibility to stress, increased television watching, over eating – especially of high carb foods, which often brings about lack of energy, weight gain, lack of physical exercise, feeling sluggish, over sleeping, and in general just being “SAD”. Believed to be related to light, or the lack of it, causal theories include a low production of the light producing chemical serotonin, and an over production of the dark producing hormone melatonin. People in northern climates are more likely to experience winter blues than people in areas where winters are not as cold, dark or long. Duh. Poor eating habits and resulting poor nutrition in winter months, particularly a reduced amount of fruits and vegetables is also related to symptoms of SAD. Common treatments include light therapy – which consists of the patient sitting beside a full spectrum light, increase in vitamin D levels, nutritional supplements, physical exercise, medication and counseling.
Okay, I’m not trying to pretend to be an expert on SAD, but like many people who live in areas with long months of dark and cold, I experience winter blues from time to time too. And in almost all cases, I could acknowledge a combination of any of the following as contributors: lack of light, extended stretches of extreme cold, going outside less, lack of exercise, minimal fruits and vegetables, lack of sociability and a lack of meaningful projects to occupy my time and mind. I believe that most people in the north experience some level of SAD during the winter months. And it has been my observation that even the worst cases are completely treatable, (if not altogether preventable) with a little extra care and attention given to the basics.
I think we would readily agree that bright, sunny summer days are uplifting to our spirits. It is easier to want to be outside, go for walks and eat better when the world is rosy. So it shouldn’t be a surprise that we would feel the opposite in the absence of those bright sunny days. While there is nothing we can do to lengthen the days or make the sun warmer, there are many things we can do to take charge of our own mental health.
TAKE CONTROL
You know yourself. You can anticipate from prior experience, the areas in which you will struggle as winter approaches. Be proactive. Learn to circumvent your depressive spells with strategy. In short – outwit SAD.
1. LET THE SUN SHINE IN
Winter isn’t completely dark. Take advantage of whatever natural light you have. When the sun is shining, take a few minutes to stand in the window and look outside. Enjoy the beauty of a lovely winter day that you may normally not take note of. Open the blinds. Greet the start of each new day by spending some time looking outside. Invite the sun into the house. Consider getting yourself a full spectrum light to read by. Many people find additional lighting helpful.
2. Bringing GREEN indoors
Get yourself some nice green plants to set in your sunniest spots. Take good care of them. Nurture them along. Their health and wellness can mirror your own. Aside from their visual appeal, plants have benefits that far exceed the aesthetic. When you add indoor plants you’re not just adding greenery. They literally interact with your body, mind and home in ways that enhances your quality of life. Being close to greenery makes us feel more at ease and we experience less stress. Whether in the home, office or in public buildings, plants have the effect of making our environment seem quieter and more relaxed. Research indicates repeatedly that interior plants have dramatic effects on our well being. But they’re not magic. Investing in their care is part of the process. It literally reconnects us with nature. Because plants have large surface areas and exchange gases and water with their surroundings, they reduce carbon dioxide levels, increase humidity in the air, and reduce the level of other certain air pollutants and airborne dust levels.
Not really a plant person? Spider plants and philodendrons are great starter plants as they thrive in even minimal light and are very forgiving. They can become your new best friends and make you feel like you have a real green thumb simply because they’ll thrive on minimal attention, but responding to their care is part of the process, so don’t neglect them. Pay attention to them and learn to read their signs. You’ll see when they need water because they’ll look thirsty. But don’t over water them. The soil should not feel ‘wet’ between waterings. Make sure the water can drain easily.
3. NUTRITION
This is huge. And we have so many more advantages today than what we had even one generation ago. When I was a child, our winter vegetables were still canned – ugh. Canned peas, canned beans, canned corn, even canned spinach. I know right! I shudder to even remember canned spinach. Can you spell s-l-i-m-e-y? By the time I was a teenager though, we began to see frozen vegetables in the grocery stores – which tasted better, and were more nutritious (not that we knew much about that). And now here we are – so many fruits and vegetables available throughout the winter. Variety our parents never saw, and our grandparents couldn’t even imagine – no matter what the season.
I don’t want to rain on this wonderful parade, but admit it, in the winter, most of this wonderful variety is coming from very far away, which means extended time from field to fork. It is a documented fact that nutrients start to diminish within an hour after harvest, so minimizing that time is vitally important to ensure the highest quality. For that reason it is still important that we focus on eating SEASONALLY. (I mean eating IN-THE-SEASON). For instance when we buy ‘fresh‘ broccoli in February in Edmonton, Alberta Canada – commonly it was picked two to three weeks before we see it on the grocery store shelf. And then we take it home and put it into our fridge for another week. Or more. I know right? But admit it. And much of the produce we eat had to be picked green (unripe) to get it to us before spoiling. Understanding that many nutrients develop in the last stages of ripening ON the plant, and that they begin to deplete within the HOUR after harvest, our nutritional expectations of so called ‘fresh’ produce in the winter time are unrealistically high. EVERY effort should be made to buy the MOST nutritious fruits and vegetables possible. And for the record, we’re not talking about organic or not-organic here. Organic still has to travel thousands of miles in the winter to make it to our plates, and so is still susceptible to the same nutrient depletion associated with that travel.
food is medicine
Freeze dried fruits and vegetables are without question, the most nutritious on the market today. With the exception of what we grow in our own backyard organic gardens, or possibly buy in a farmer’s market, nothing we can buy is going to be ‘fresher’. Why? Because they are flash frozen within hours of harvest – that’s why. While I cannot speak about all brands (and there are many brands), I can speak to a particular brand, the North American industry leader of freeze dried food: THRIVE LIFE. THRIVE Life fruits and vegetables are ripened ON the plants (unlike most produce we buy in the grocery store). This gives them the very best possible start. In ripening on the plant, the phytonutrients that nature intended are fully developed and INTACT. That is a huge advantage over produce that is picked unripe. Picked ripe, Thrive Life foods are flash frozen within hours of harvest, 2 – 6 hours. That in itself is amazing. But it gets even better. The process of flash freezing locks in the natural goodness including flavour, colour, texture AND nutrients. In this frozen state, the produce is transferred to a facility where it has all the remaining moisture removed through a vacuum like process called sublimation. The result? The most nutritional food on the planet.
Truly freeze drying is the answer to the food problems in most of the world. And for those of us who live with seasonal gardens, we can eat the best and most nutritious food twelve months a year! Literally, it is eating “in-the-season” all year long. Not simply because it is so readily available, but because the process of freeze drying is the most shelf-stable way of preserving food, AND the most nutrient dense. The shelf life of a sealed can of most freeze dried foods is 25+ years. Does it get any better than that?
So what does all this mean to us? It means that we can eat BROCCOLI (AND cauliflower AND zucchini AND spinach AND kale AND asparagus AND green beans AND red peppers AND peaches AND pineapple AND mangoes AND blueberries AND so many more fruits and vegetables in the middle of winter that are as nutritious as they were on the day they were picked ripe – every! single! day! of the year! Even in November, December, January, February, March and April. That means we can Eat better than we have ever been able to do before.
4. EXERCISE
Getting exercise in the middle of winter requires intent. It is not as easy as it was on sunny days to walk around the block. Frankly, it almost doesn’t matter what you choose to do – any and all exercise is going to benefit you. Whether you decide to go to a gym, do a daily routine along with a video, walk on the treadmill or any other choice, is not as important as simply DOING something. Make a point to set aside at least 30 minutes a day to involve yourself in intentional exercise. Doing it in five minute increments, or all at once – again, fit it in the best way you can. Try to increase your time and endurance as you gain stamina.
Set goals. Write them down. Track your exercise. It is a known and well accepted fact that daily physical activity overcomes fatigue and depression. The details are up to you.
5. GET OUTSIDE
When you can, go outside. Go for a walk. Shovel the driveway and sidewalks (good exercise too). Shovel your neighbours out. Go tobogganing. Skate. Ski – either cross country or downhill. Walk in the country or city parks. Feed the birds. Did you know that chickadees will come and eat right out of your hand!
Feed the birds in your own yard. Attracting them to a tree outside your window will provide enjoyment all winter long. Not only are you doing a good thing for them in the coldest months of the year, but you welcome their cheery chattering on the bright sunny days of winter. It is a wonderful way to bring the joy of outside – indoors.
6. BE SOCIALABLE and BELONG
Invite friends for dinner once a week. Force yourself at first if you have to. It will give you a reason to clean the house, put a smile on your face and cook a nice meal. Make social plans and don’t let yourself talk YOU out of it. Good conversation around a dinner table or around a game of cards makes you happy. Hosting is therapy and going out is good therapy too. Be a friend. Reach out. Think of others who might need a lift. Embrace others. Help others. Serve others. We are not meant to be alone. There is so much good we can do in this world.
Whether to a neighbourhood, a church congregation, a community league, a group of friends, a work place, or any other organization, we can each find an opportunity to contribute meaningfully to someone else. The social ties that accompany a sense of ‘belonging’ help us manage stress and other issues. When we support, and feel the support of others – we are not alone, we are more resilient and we can often cope more effectively with difficult times in our lives.
When we sold the store, it left a big void in my life. An empty spot. As much as I relished being home more, and being more involved with my grandchildren, the store had been a very social place for me. I had also served on a Board of Directors in our industry for over ten years. Within a niche market like store, people found quite an intimate gathering place, and I had come to love many of those people. Some had come to be dear friends: employees, customers, even vendors, artists, other independent store colleagues, and colleagues on the board. Because most of of my customers came from all over northern Alberta, our store was the meeting place, it was our common ground. When the store was gone, I knew that no matter how much I cared, I would never see most of those people again, and that was a lonely realization, the source of significant loss for me, even a degree of grief. Rather than continue to feel that emptiness, I decided to reach out to some of those former customers, and invite them for lunch. So began a few months of sharing meals and renewing friendships that was helpful for me.
For a few years prior to selling our store, I had monthly met with a handful of friends for lunch at each other’s homes. We would chat and catch up, and we found joy in each other’s company. We’ve continued our friendship through these many years, which has been important to me. Stupid Covid threw a monkey wrench into our gatherings for awhile, but we all look forward to reconvening when we can, and I have no doubt it will seem as if we’ve never been apart.
Similarly, Dan and I regularly get together with a group of friends on Monday evenings to have wholesome discussions and learn from one another. We’ve done this for several years, and have developed close friendships within this group. Covid tried to mess with that too, but we found a way around it with zoom. We look forward to meeting again in person like we used to.
The need to affiliate with and be accepted by members of a group is real. As a child we had the need to belong to a peer group at school, or sports team or something similar. And as adult we still have the need to be accepted by co-workers, to be part of an athletic team, social group, club or a religious group. The sense of belonging involves more than gaining acceptance FROM others, it also requires providing that same acceptance TO others. It can lead to changes in behaviours, beliefs and perspectives as we find ourselves influenced by and conforming to the standards of the group. This can be positive, or not so positive, so select the kind of group we want to belong to with care.
7. TURN OFF THE TV and find a meaningful PROJECT
Give yourself a winter project to work on during the coldest days, the days when hours seem to stretch on. A new hobby. Painting, woodworking, knitting, writing, reading, cooking, baking, sewing, weaving, planning your garden, personal study, take a class, complete a home renovation project . . . . Having meaningful projects is excellent use of the slow hours that come with winter. It provides purpose for the hours that you’re tempted to spend in front of the television. Wasting those winter hours in front of the tube gives us more to regret, and no sense of accomplishment. Using those same hours to complete a project, or many projects gives you something to smile about. Something to celebrate. And feelings of celebration over a job well done cannot coexist with sadness.
8. GIVE YOURSELF SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO
It doesn’t have to be a winter vacation, but find something that you can plan and look forward to.
Gardening: Could be you’re looking forward to your garden. Do you plant a garden in the spring? If so, its time to start looking at what you’re gonna plant, and those improvements you thought of last summer. By the end of January, I’ve often purchased my seeds for the upcoming year. If you don’t have the space for a garden, consider renting a spot in one of the many community gardens that are springing up in urban areas.
Take a Class: Find a hobby or develop a skill. There are lots of classes, both on the community level and online, for beginners and experienced people alike. Check out your local Community league, social media groups, or your local greenhouses for their calendars.
a Getaway Vacation: There was a time I couldn’t even imagine the luxury of getting away in the winter. It took my husband quite a while to sell me on the idea. But once we sprung for that first one in January, it opened up a whole new world for us. Something to look forward to. Something to plan for. I learned to plan our getaway for later in the year. Going away in November only gave me four more months of winter with nothing to look forward to. An escape in November soon becomes only a memory for me. Going away in January was nice, but still – we came back to February (arguably the longest month of the year), and March which can be long and dreary, notwithstanding a little more ‘light’. I found that planning a trip for the end of February or the beginning of March – spread out the joy. It gave me something to look forward to all November, December, January and even February. A literal light at the end of my tunnel. It was empowering.
For many years, I managed our family’s business – a bookstore. I loved the bookstore, thoroughly enjoyed the environment and the people I dealt with – some of the best on this planet. I loved the product I was able to bring into their lives (and to our own as well). I found the work meaningful, and felt that I had lots of opportunity to lighten loads and brighten days – my own, as well as those of others. But it was a lot of work! And sometimes my days were long. And other things in my life got set aside for a season. And I missed important events, and time with my family. And there was related stress. Things didn’t always go smoothly. Bills were unrelenting. Christmas took on new meaning.
Our 4th quarter of the year was our most important and a more successful 4th quarter, meant we could pay our bills easier for quite some time the following year. Preparing for Christmas began in April, when I began ordering Nativities and other novelty items I liked to carry. By June I was pre-ordering books that wouldn’t be published till fall. In the summer I was attending trade shows and an annual convention in Utah, getting ready for 4th quarter sales. My biggest order of the year was September, followed by October. In November we were decorating for Christmas and making the best of every advantage we had. Heaven forbid if I got sick somewhere in there, or had a family wedding, or personal tragedy. And I still had a large family at home who needed a fulltime mom, and a husband, and a calling at church, and other responsibilities. And there was always the stupid Canadian dollar – fluctuating up and down (95% of our products came from the US), and the rising cost of transportation, and occasional bad roads in winter that interfered with us picking up product on time, and although I had wonderful customers, some of whom are still dear friends to this day, not all customers are nice. Some are grumps and nothing you do will ever make them happy, and I took all their criticism and grumpiness personally, and sometimes, it was defeating, and difficult to bear. . . . . and on and on and on. . . . Sometimes in the early fall, I would worry about the next few months to come, and stress about how I was going to ‘do it all again’, and keep the smile on, and be cheerful at work, and pay the bills, and “what if this big product investment I just made doesn’t pay off?” Knowing I was headed for long hours, with uncertain outcome, I would start to sink under the weight of it all. I worried if I could keep it up till Christmas was over, and even if I did, I still had to get through January and February and March – which were so long, and cold and dreary, and business was slow. And all that didn’t even touch issues on the home front: being a mom, and a new gramma, and of course a wife, and a friend, and a good neighbour, and . . . and . . . and.
I had learned in my young adult life that despair was real and that it could be debilitating. And I knew that I was not immune to it. I also knew that it could control me, if I didn’t control it first. I knew I needed something to look forward to. a literal light that I could stretch toward. It became an annual trip for Dan and I. I planned it deliberately for the last week of February and the first week of March. That way, when we came back, no matter what March had to throw at me, my attitude was one of empowerment. “Go ahead! Snow! Blizzard! Be cold! Give it your best shot Winter! Your days are numbered now, and we both know you’re on your way out. There is NOTHING you can do to change the calendar!” Literally, I could say those words with a smile because they were true. And what it did for me in September and October – was give me that light, that vision of warm sunny beaches to look forward to. I could say to myself “I can do this. I am in control. At the end of this, I’m going to Mexico, and when I get there, I’m gonna do a whole lotta nothing.” It didn’t matter what got thrown my way I would think “this is okay, because I’m going to Mexico in February / Who cares about …. ? I’m going to Mexico in February.” For me, it was therapy. And not just the trip itself, almost more than the trip, was the anticipation OF the trip.
Do not underestimate the Value of ANTICIPATION. Anticipating, can also be “savouring”. It can lighten burdens. It can initiate positive decision making. Anticipating a vacation can be as therapeutic as the vacation itself. Anticipating implies making plans and using one’s imagine. And it doesn’t have to be a winter vacation. Looking forward to going camping in the summer – looking forward to a concert in the spring – looking forward to a family reunion later in the year – looking forward to an upcoming family wedding, or a birth – looking forward to a homecoming – looking forward to graduation or any other significant life change . . . The point is to give yourself something to look forward to.
9. Read Good books:
Don’t discount the value of getting lost in a good book. A good book has the power to transport you to another place. It can literally be a vacation-of-the-mind. A good book can contain information about values, morals, and important life principles. Good books give us positive value, and bad books give us negative value.
Be careful about choosing books. There are millions of books in the world, and thousands of them are GOOD. Some of them are even GREAT. I am an avid reader, but I realized long ago that I couldn’t possibly read all the good books this world has to offer me. I am also a slow reader. It takes me twice as long as it takes Dan to read the same book. I read, and then I savour, and sometimes I go back and read that passage again. Sometimes if it was particularly moving, I bask in it for awhile, possibly even marking it for reference later. No wonder it takes me so long to read.
Like you perhaps, I find myself emotionally influenced by what I read. I can be discouraged and depressed or encouraged and uplifted. I can find joy in the resilience of the human spirit and the goodness of humanity. I can be drug down by the evil that exists in the world. Sometimes I can spend hours in a book and when I come to the end, think “what a stupid waste of time that was”. And I resent wasted time; I only have so many hours in my day. I have to protect my mental health and poor choices of where I spend my time can put me in a dark place.
So how to choose where I will devote my reading hours? I set up a single piece of criteria for the books I read. It is this: If at the end, I feel like I am a better person then it was worth it to me. Do I feel lighter? Do I feel closer to my Saviour? Do I feel courage to go forward and do good? Do I feel like I learned something worthwhile? Do I feel like I want to be a better friend, better mom, better wife, better . . . (you fill in the blank)? Do I feel happy? Did it make me smile? Did it make me chuckle or even laugh out loud? I am not saying I don’t read escape novels or even what I call FLUFF novels. Sometimes a good fluff novel is the best escape ever. And I’m not saying my choices are always great literature. But, in the end, if I feel like I am a better person for having read those pages, then it was worth it to me. Taking recommendations from friends is an excellent place to start when looking for a book to invest your precious time in.
10. SERVICE: Volunteer, and lose yourself in the needs of something outside of yourself
Two years ago, I considered the fact that pretty much all my friends, most of my social contacts outside of my own family and neighbours, were members of my own church. Not just my congregation, through my contacts at the bookstore, I had friends all over. But again, most of those were members of my church. I’m not complaining. They are some of the best people who walk the earth. But I felt that I was lacking. Because of my decades in the store, I didn’t have time to seek friends in other places. But we had sold the store in 2015, and I realized that I still had yet to expand contacts outside of my existing friends within the church.
I felt like with the store gone, I should be able to afford to spend some time outside of my usual sphere, and meet new people with whom I might have something in common. At length I decided community service was a good place to start. But it was the spring of 2020, and Covid was dominating everything. I reached out to our community league and emailed “I’d like to offer my time to our community league. I don’t know what you’re even able to do these days, but whatever it is, sign me up to volunteer with it. Just let me know where and when.” Almost as a surprise, I heard back from someone – her name is Karen. I began by volunteering at a customized Covid-style celebration of Canada Day. I was nervous and shy, and masked of course. I was the ‘new kid on the block’ among strangers. I was completely out of my comfort zone. But I was happy to have assisted.
I attended my first Community League meeting later that summer, all of us socially distanced and masked Covid style. Awkward. l listened to a stranger pitch her idea of a community garden, which was well received by the executive and others in attendance. If you know me, you know I ‘garden’. This, I felt was something I could help with. At the end of the meeting, I followed this lady out and told her I would help her in any way I could. We exchanged contact information, and so began a lovely friendship as we toured other community gardens in the city. Since then, we’ve worked together on several garden related projects and I support her happily, as her vision gradually became tangible with garden plots and real people sowing, nurturing and reaping. Her name is Myrna bytheway. Through my work in the garden, I’ve met others who I consider friends now. All people I never would have met without my service in our community.
I work a volunteer shift weekly at the Edmonton Temple for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I cannot express the joy I find in working that shift, and the beautiful people with whom I interact regularly. Many former customers of mine, who I thought I might never see again in this world, cross my path inside those doors and I love reconnecting with them.
Reach Out. Be brave. There are people like you out there who also seek meaningful relationships
I work part time as a Consultant for Thrive Life freeze dried foods, and I have come to know some fabulous people through my association with this great company. The company and products that I sell are completely in line with my personal values, so the people I work with: customers, other consultants like myself, as well as in the corporate office, all share those same core values. What a joy to find so many people I have important things in common with. Meaningful and sometimes lifelong friendships develop within this kind of association. This is not a winter thing, its a life hack.
In the end, what you are trying to do, is outwit SAD with avoidance strategies. Seasonal Affective Disorder is not a living breathing organic entity. You are! Don’t give it power over you. Imagine yourself in the ring with it. You are a child of God. Your nature is divine. You have agency and are in control of your choices. ‘It’ is none of those things. Unlike other kinds of depression, SAD can be summed up as a choice. Choose to be stronger than it. Choose to be in control. Choose to use your winter months to accomplish something meaningful and to regain control of your health and wellness.
I used to always tell my kids “be smarter than [the problem]”. I would sometimes lightheartedly add “It’s you and [the problem]. One of you has a high school diploma. See if you can figure this out.” Occasionally with SAD, I’ve had to take my own advice. “Be smarter than SAD. One of us has a high school diploma. I can figure this out.”
I can outwit SAD. And so can you.
I’d love to hear your strategies in outwitting SAD in the winter time. What do you do? What are you planning to do?
I love the quote by Bill Copeland “the trouble with not having a goal is that you can spend your life running up and down the field and never score“. This is a perfect visual image for me and I think it speaks volumes. Especially, as it seems, though goal setting is encouraged on every corner, in every area of life – educational goals, workplace or business goals, family and household goals, goals in gospel living – it has almost become too ‘common’ a term. And because of that, many of us miss the point. So what is the point of playing the game if all you do is run up and down the field kicking the ball? Eternal ‘practice‘? For what? Goal setting is MORE than a worthwhile endeavour, it is absolutely necessary to becoming the person we would like to become.
The truth is, without goals we will spend our lives either spinning our wheels in one spot, or aimlessly adrift being influenced by every wind. The key is to set attainable goals that are meaningful.
Whether they are long term all encompassing goals like getting out of debt, short term easier goals like getting on the treadmill five times a week, or even eternal goals of living with our families forever, the act of setting goals propels us forward. A ship leaving the harbour with no goal or destination? Preposterous. Throwing a dart without a target? For what purpose? And yet, we are no different when we allow ourselves to go through the whole day, a whole week, month or year without purpose, without visualization of a hoped for destination. A GOAL. Whatever talent and abilities we might possess, whatever potential is ours – without focus and directed energy, they will never amount to anything.
I like to look at the idea of LEGACY. Defined, legacy is anything “handed down” (be it good or bad), but for my purpose here, I am speaking specifically about what we as a person are remembered for after we’re gone. Its humbling to acknowledge that we have a lot of control over the legacy we leave behind. For the most part, what it will be is our choice. Imagine that. We create a good legacy through effort and energy, or we let our legacy default into meaningless. Again our choice. So ask yourself these three questions: 1) Where do you want to be in a year? five years? twenty years? 2) What is important to you? 3) What do you want to be remembered for? What legacy do you want to leave behind?
Whether we realize it or not – whether we actually use the words “goal setting” or not, most of us DO set goals for ourselves. I have some suggestions for ways we can make them more meaningful, and have a more empowering influence in our lives.
1. Goals give us Direction and propel us forward
Setting a goal provides a destination to work toward. When you set a goal you naturally direct your attention toward the first step in achieving it. Focusing on it leads your thoughts in a certain direction, and what you think about becomes behaviour.
2. Goals keep us on the path.
You can not walk a straight line without a fixed point to follow. When you have a goal in mind – a particular destination, you will focus on it, and you will be more inclined to avoid detours that would distract you from reaching it. The more specific your goals are, the more likely your path will be straighter and more direct. For example, it has been a life long goal of mine to eat healthily. Generally I do pretty good, but the goal itself is unspecific. In the last few years, my goal has been to be ‘smarter’ about my choices. Still very unspecific. So recently I committed to avoid sugar for one month. This is specific, and measurable (see point #3), and very relevant to me. A clear and relevant goal sets you on a path and provides incentive to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve it. There are always sacrifices involved in reaching a goal, because the nature of obtaining a desired outcome requires changing established behaviour. And that is never easy. Desirable maybe, but not easy.
3. Goals must be measurable to be of any value
By setting a worthwhile but immeasurable goal of “being a better person” or having a “successful business”, we never really know when or if we achieved it. We need to know where we are right now, and compare it to a fixed destination. Our goal should be “measurable“. A big goal to “get out of debt”, broken into smaller goals of paying off the credit cards, the student loan, the car loan, setting a minimum dollar amount aside for unexpected expenses and to eventually replace the car so you don’t take on another debt, are all manageable, measurable, and as you achieve each step you have reason to celebrate. A big goal of getting in a year’s supply of food storage, broken down into smaller goals of buying for one week ahead, one month ahead, and finally three months ahead, are all steps along the way, and are attainable. And measurable. And worth celebrating. The specificity of my goal to avoid sugar for ONE MONTH made it measurable and therefore attainable. I could see the end of the month from the beginning, the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. It was a mental exercise that made it easy to track success with every accomplishment. You cannot manage what you cannot measure. And you cannot improve what you cannot manage. (*1)
4. There must be flexibility in resetting your compass when working to achieve goals
Without compromising the end goal, you can be patient with yourself when you fall off the wagon briefly from time to time. Simply get back on. You are still better for being on the path, and it has been my observation that though our heart can change on a dime, behaviour sometimes takes time to follow, especially when you are dealing with a full out change of established habits and routine.
One of my favourite quotes is from Maya Angelou. She says simply “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, DO BETTER.” How very simple and yet profound such a statement is. It gives me permission to be patient with myself when I know that I am doing the best I can – on my path to do better. It steers me away from the temptation to beat myself up over former short comings, and to always move forward reaching for a new bar of excellence. It is motivating by not being unrealistically rigid.
5. Goals
provide accountability – especially when written down
When your goal is specific,
with a start date and an end in sight – you make yourself accountable to both. By
writing it down, you have more accountability.
A goal not written down is just a wish.
By placing it where we will see it often, it can be a constant reminder,
providing even more accountability. And of course sharing that goal with
another, or within a safe support group – strengthens that accountability more yet.
The combination of all the above, creates the best formula for success. Do NOT
allow yourself to procrastinate by giving yourself loopholes. Remember, “the Best time to do better was yesterday. But the second best time is RIGHT
NOW.” Be
firm. Don’t let yourself off the hook
with all your favourite excuses for not changing.
6. Goals provide motivation, and help us believe in
ourselves
Setting achievable,
measurable goals transforms mountainous challenges into manageable hills. Visualizing
the end result provides the incentive to keep working toward it. Without setting actual goals, be honest with
yourself, you’re just dreaming. Providing yourself with the accountability of
writing your goal down and sharing it, is excellent motivation to move forward.
Having a clear, compelling goal motivates you toward behaviour that will help
you reach it. The goal to pay off a specific debt is clear and concise. It is
easy to understand. It is measurable. Visualizing it and what it can mean for
you and your future from that point on provides the motivation necessary to
make it a reality. Fixing your focus on the
end result, and being mindful of your continual changing behaviour along your
path gives you continual feedback by which to measure your success. Success
breeds more success, and a constant motivation to move forward. It isn’t simply about creating a plan, it is
also about providing the inspiration and incentive to aim for and accomplish
great things. Without making that goal
and working everyday to achieve it, how would you ever expect to attain any
level of accomplishment? When you
actually SEE yourself making progress your dreams suddenly become
attainable and your motivation increases. Newton’s basic law of physics remains true in all areas of
life. “An object that is at
rest will stay at rest unless a force acts upon it. An
object that is in motion will not change its velocity unless a
force acts upon it.” Once an
object is moving, it is infinitely easier to keep it moving than to try to get
it moving again once it has come to a stand still. And the same principle applies in our journey
toward a specific goal.
7. Reaching a
Goal should be celebrated as the accomplishment it is!
Seeing progress is addicting. It is invigorating and it sustains momentum. On the path to being debt free are many accomplishments. When you pay off a specific credit card debt (job well done bytheway), you have every reason to rejoice in your progress toward your ultimate goal. On your way to losing twenty pounds, you have every reason to rejoice in losing five pounds, and every other success along the way. Don’t underestimate the mental stimulation of celebrating smaller successes on your way to large ones. Achieving goals builds character. And that is something to celebrate.
Zig Zigler once said, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.” Of this I think we can be assured. We can never be happy with merely putting in our time till life is over. As children of God, we are simply not wired that way. What we can accomplish by deliberately aiming ourselves toward something meaningful that is in harmony with those things that are most important to us – is absolutely limitless. Remember that what we get by achieving our goals is nothing compared to what we ‘become’ by achieving them.
Warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
footnote: *1 I have no idea where that quote comes from, or who may have originally said it, or I’d be happy to give them proper credit. If if was you – thanks
Michael McLean said something to me years ago that has reframed my life.
It has helped me hundreds of times, when I needed to come out of my personal comfort zone and do what needed to be done. He said simply this: “Its never about YOU.” Then he added the following, summarized in my own words, and edited over more than a decade of implementation, but the essential concept in this post came from Michael McLean.
His counsel: Every time you walk into a room (or situation) you have a decision to make. As you stand briefly in that threshold, before you actually walk through the door, you should ask yourself one question. That question is “Who is the most important person in this room?” If the answer to that question is “ME!” then you are completely justified in all kinds of self centred thoughts like “I am uncomfortable here …. This is awkward for me … No one ever sits beside me … Why bother? … This is soooo out of my comfort zone …. I’d really rather not be here …. ” etc etc – because after all, you ARE the most important person in that room. However, (and this is the clincher), IF the answer to your question today is . . . . . “that woman over there!” or “Laura!” or …. then suddenly, as soon as you’ve made that decision, your thoughts become all about her. “I should go sit beside her – I should tell her how I LOVE her new hair – I should tell her how much I enjoyed her son’s talk last week – I should tell her how much I appreciated that comment she made the other day, and how much it helped me” etc etc. Notice how all your previously self centred thoughts and feelings, turned 180 degrees to focus on someone else. I really think we all want to BE nice. We all want to BE the kind of person who makes other people feel good about themselves. What that boils down to, is that we want to BE more Christlike. More like Christ. Well, if that is genuinely true, then think for a moment. WHEN was it about Him? When did He put himself first and say “nobody likes me”, “They’re not gonna like what I have to say” “I am so stinkin’ sick and tired” … Even when He hung on the cross, it still wasn’t about Him! “Father forgive them.” and “Woman, behold thy son” (John 19). When? When there are other people involved, when should it be all-about-me?
The fact is – sometimes it IS about me. Sometimes I really have to say “this time – I just cannot do that“. And those times are okay. But they should be rare exceptions, not the rule. Most of the time, no matter how you’re feeling, when you’re in a place where you see someone who might need a kind word or wave, or even more – simply ask yourself – “WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THIS ROOM?” I cannot tell you how much that has helped me be a better person and get over myself for the moment. Thank-you Michael.
The only time it backfires is when you raise your children with this philosophy, and then one day when you’re really struggling and feeling sorry for yourself, your daughter says “So why is this all about you mom? Who’s the most important person here anyway?” Stupid kid!
My heart is full today. I am still feeling the ‘feels’ of an astounding observation that culminated in a few short hours yesterday.
“Because I have been given much I too must give”
For many months of the year I plan for and work to pull off my assigned responsibilities in an annual city wide Food Drive. This is a big event and my husband and I head up the efforts in the southeast part of Edmonton, a specific geographic area that comprises our stake. A “stake” to Latter-day Saints, is a church administrative/governmental unit composed of multiple congregations or “wards”. Each stake has its own leadership that manages the overall affairs that influence each congregation in it. Over the last decade our the “stake” I belong to has been conducting an annual large-scale Food Drive that has grown from the efforts of a single congregation in 2009, to include all five stakes in the greater Edmonton area as well as surrounding communities. This Food Drive collects donations to provide our local Food Banks with essentials to feed those in need who visit them. It has become a major player in the overall collection of sufficient food. Every out-of-Edmonton congregation who participates, collects for their local Food Bank.
“Because of thy great bounty Lord each day I live”
I want to tell you here that I have a tremendous amount of respect for the charity we all know locally as Food Banks, and the special people who work in them. Perhaps I can tell you more about it in a future post, but for now that is another story for another time.
“I shall divide my gifts from Thee with every brother that I see Who has the need of help from me”
In our situation we have six local congregations who participate with Dan and I in this wonderful charitable event in the greater Edmonton area, and three more congregations who also do so on different days in their own outlying areas. The project has grown to be so big and all inclusive that governing it to mobilize the veritable ARMY of volunteers required to canvas every single home in Edmonton and its satellite communities, is a tremendous undertaking. Currently there is a couple who act as Regional Representatives who undertake to work with each Stake, and there are five stakes each with a Stake Coordinator that have approximately ten congregations within them. Each congregation or ward, has their own local coordinator who divides their ward (geographic area) into routes. They then motivate and gather dozens of volunteer families to take responsibility for one or more of those routes. These route volunteers deliver notices to each home on their route during the week prior to the Food Drive, and then go back and pick up donations from those same homes. The donations are brought to drop off points where they are loaded on to Food Drive semi trailers delivered there the day before.
“because I have been sheltered, fed by Thy good care I cannot see another’s lack and I not share”
This brings me up to yesterday. I had been working within our stake for months, coordinating efforts of the wards to motivate and enthuse their members to save the date and get involved as volunteers. Some had organized field trips to the Food Bank to provide their members with context and a personal connection for it. Some had spoken in church and born testimony of the meaningful service we were engaged in. All had been regularly announcing and building up enthusiasm. All had coordinated routes and in the weeks prior to the Food Drive, assigned routes to volunteer families. This is a project that our local stake leaders in consultation with each other, had agreed would not only be of great benefit to our community, but would also be one within which the members of our congregations could experience meaningful selfless service. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are all about meaningful, selfless service, so it was a perfect fit.
“my glowing fire, my loaf of bread, my roof’s safe shelter overhead – that he too may be comforted”
I arrived at the meetinghouse around 9:30 in the morning. Ashli, Esli and the Becks were already there. It was cold. Bitter cold for September 29 in Edmonton. The wind had picked up and we all wished we had worn something warmer. We brought tables out of the stake centre and set them up. We set up pylons borrowed from the city to use to funnel traffic. More volunteers arrived. I gave them instructions, explained my vision for the day, and charged young Esli (who had taken the day off work to be with us) to be their ‘foreman’. Our donuts arrived with Bishop Siakaluk who set up a table just out of the weather where people could gather and share their experiences and something sweet in warmth. Ward reps arrived and set up stations to take reports from their route volunteers.
“Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord; I’ll share thy love again according to thy word”
Shortly after 10:15 our first donor car arrived and we put into practise what we had discussed. It always works so beautifully when the cars come by ones. LOL
Then a few more cars, and a few more. Before long it had turned into a veritable Beehive of activity. More cars, and pretty soon there was a line up of vehicles, volunteers unloading as fast as they could to get them on their way. Other volunteers transferred from table-to-trailer. More volunteers working on the trailer began loading up the first of the twenty four bins. Some route volunteers anxious to lend a hand, parked and joined the the brigade that transferred food from vehicle-to-table-to-trailer-to-bin. Many hands make light work.
“I shall give love to those in need, I’ll show that love by word and deed; Thus shall my thanks be thanks in deed.”
When I could spare a few minutes I did a couple of live videos to share the action with those who could not be there. I would love to have been a bird watching it from above. It was a wonderful thing to be part of.
As it happens, Dan and I were billeting two high school students from Nova Scotia this week, delegates of this year’s Canadian Student Leadership Conference hosted by one of local high schools – HARRY AINLEY. Part of our commitment as a billeting family was to provide some meaningful activity for them on Saturday afternoon. Since both Dan and I were obligated to stay at our posts till 2:00 we invited them to join one of us. They arrived around 12:30, just in time for the busiest part to have subsided, but they were still able to put their shoulders-to-the-wheel and help us finish up. We were happy to have them. (Big regret that I didn’t get their picture. Argh ….)
In the end – we FILLED all 24 of the bins in that trailer. First time ever!
By all reports, it seems that every other area was ‘up’ in their donations too. This weekend, we blew it outta the water. Full to overflowing, with lots of stuff on the floor that we couldn’t fit in. We couldn’t have fit another box of cornflakes into that trailer!
This morning I sat in church – still feeling the feels …. . SO many good people all gathered together for one huge charitable purpose – to gather food for other people who’s names and faces they do not even know. After months of anticipation and preparation on the part of so many behind the scenes, it culminated in a tremendous outpouring of “love to those in need“. Truth is – although it took hundreds of volunteers to gather the food, it took literally THOUSANDS who voluntarily gave. Gave from their own pantries, or gave what they purchased specifically for the Food Bank. There were some donations that were so incredibly generous we shook our heads in disbelief when we heard the stories. Truly there are those who have tender experience with the Food Bank and who for their own personal reasons – give so generously. At the time of this writing, Canadians are preparing to celebrate “Thanksgiving”. That one time in the year that we really do pause and reflect on the blessings that are ours. We count them one by one, and express gratitude to the source of all those blessings. The significance of the blending of these two great occasions is not lost on me.
The great prophet Moroni tells us that “charity .. is the greatest of all” and I truly believe it. He tells us that in the end, “all things must fail — but charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever” (Moroni 7:46,47) This weekend I witnessed “charity” and it warmed my heart to overflowing. This morning, by no mere coincidence I’m sure, the opening hymn we sang was that beloved prayer of gratitude and charity by American poet Grace Crowell “Because I Have Been Given Much“. It is probably my most favourite hymn of all. I attempted to sing it with the congregation – to join my voice to this prayer in music, but sometimes sounds don’t come out of my mouth when my eyes are leaking, and I had to be content to listen. I was content to do so. Truly content.
“Because I have been given much, I too must give; Because of thy great bounty Lord, Each day I live; I shall divide my gifts from thee With every brother that I see Who has the need of help from me.
Because I have been sheltered, fed By thy good care; I cannot see another’s lack and I not share; My glowing fire, my loaf of bread, my roof’s safe shelter overhead That he too may be comforted.
Because I have been blessed by thy great love dear Lord; I’ll share thy love again According to thy word; I shall give love to those in need, I’ll show that love by word and deed; Thus shall my thanks be thanks in deed.”
Thank-you Edmonton and district around, you did good this week. You did good.
Warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
a postscript : At this point there are still many multi-family complexes and apartment buildings that are not getting canvassed simply because of manpower. If you have an interest in taking a route for next year’s event, we would love to recruit community volunteers to help us with our Food Drive 2019. If you will comment below and reach out to me, I will put you in touch with a team leader in your geographic part of the city. If you’re not in Edmonton, tell me where you are. I will do my best to put you in touch with a team leader in your neck of the woods. There are annual Food Drives in many Alberta communities. “By small and simple things, great things come to pass”, and truly this is a Great thing!
hen you’re in a place where you see someone who might need a kind word or wave, or even more – simply ask yourself – “WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THIS ROOM?” I cannot tell you how much that has helped me be a better person and get over myself for the moment. Thank-you Michael.
Over the last decade our the “stake” I belong to has been conducting an annual large-scale Food Drive that has grown from the efforts of a single congregation in 2009, to include all five stakes in the greater Edmonton area as well as surrounding communities. This Food Drive collects donations to provide our local Food Banks with essentials to feed those in need who visit them. It has become a major player in the overall collection of sufficient food. Every out-of-Edmonton congregation who participates, collects for their local Food Bank.
This brings me up to yesterday. I had been working within our stake for months, coordinating efforts of the wards to motivate and enthuse their members to save the date and get involved as volunteers. Some had organized field trips to the Food Bank to provide their members with context and a personal connection for it. Some had spoken in church and born testimony of the meaningful service we were engaged in. All had been regularly announcing and building up enthusiasm. All had coordinated routes and in the weeks prior to the Food Drive, assigned routes to volunteer families. This is a project that our local stake leaders in consultation with each other, had agreed would not only be of great benefit to our community, but would also be one within which the members of our congregations could experience meaningful selfless service. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are all about meaningful, selfless service, so it was a perfect fit.
In the end – we FILLED all 24 of the bins in that trailer. First time ever!
There were some donations that were so incredibly generous we shook our heads in disbelief when we heard the stories. Truly there are those who have tender experience with the Food Bank and who for their own personal reasons – give so generously. At the time of this writing, Canadians are preparing to celebrate “Thanksgiving”. That one time in the year that we really do pause and reflect on the blessings that are ours. We count them one by one, and express gratitude to the source of all those blessings. The significance of the blending of these two great occasions is not lost on me.