Our first grandchild was born twenty two years ago yesterday. A grandson. His name is Samuel Raymond Daniel Burgess.
He didn’t stay here very long, only a few days. His destiny was different than many of ours. His was to gain a body and belong to a family. He accomplished both of those and then went back to heaven. I like to think he interacted with our other grandchildren before they left their heavenly home, and that he currently enjoys the company of his several great grandparents and a favourite uncle who live there now too.
We think of him often and wonder what life is like where he lives, but we never wonder IF he lives. We appreciate this week especially. It was a difficult time for his young mom and dad, but at the same time it was a privilege. Some babies are just like that. Spirits too special to stay here.
I have a stone from his grave displayed on a shelf in my living room. Its been there these 22 years. I have his name written on it and his birth date and death date. I called it Samuel’s rock. When his younger sister was little I would ask her from time to time (wanting to remind her about heaven and angels and such) “Olivia, where is Samuel?” She would go and get the rock.
I would say “No, this is a rock. Samuel lives in heaven.”
Then a few days later I would ask her again “Where is Samuel Olivia?” She would go and get the rock, and I would repeat “No, this is a rock. Samuel lives in heaven.”
And so it would go, eventually I hoped to solicit a response like “Samuel lives in heaven.”
One day I asked “Olivia, where is Samuel?”
She responded dismissively “Oh, he’s a rock.” I decided to wait a few months before we revisited the concept.
She and her younger siblings have it down pat by now. They get it. They know exactly where he is, and even all the cousins know about their older cousin who none of them met (at least not here). How grateful I am that families are eternal and that we know Samuel is not lost to us, and we’re not lost to him.
We are family. And that means, that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can live together again as families.
In the meantime, Happy 22th Birthday Sammy. If you were here, I have no doubt you’d laugh a lot with your younger siblings. They’re a hoot. But perhaps you chuckle with them even now, from your current vantage point. And probably roll your eyes a little at their shannanaggins. Like me.
Warmly,
Gramma Suelzle January 2024
PS I so appreciate the beautiful heartfelt words of someone who has gone through something deeply personal and moving. And I appreciate their willingness to share those sentiments so that others can feel the spirit of them – speaking right to, and right ‘from’ their own hearts. With that in mind, included here are the beautiful lyrics to a song written and recorded by Larry Pearson and Marie Pearson. Chosen by Samuel’s parents, and sung at his funeral by friend Leanne Smetaniuk, accompanied by friend Linda Purnell. Thank you Larry and Marie (brother and sister bytheway).
To Let Your Son Go Ever since I held him close and saw that tiny face I believed I understood why I’m in this place. Birth is but a letting go from the arms of God, But every tear of mine I’ve shed – When I had to give him back again.
Maybe someday I will understand, But if he’s not in my arms, then at least I’m sure He’s home within yours.
And within his newborn eyes, I’m sure I saw a light An angel as a living soul, too perfect for this life. I never knew what miracles I’d know because of him; If I knew how it would end – I still would go through everything again. He left Your home, then he left my own. I guess You know what it is really like – To let Your son go.
Please here my prayer, heal me now in my deepest need. Cause it’s enough to help me through To know the one who understands – is You.
He left Your home, Then he let my own. I guess You know what it is really like – To let Your son go.
the CD “One by One” by the Pearsons, produced cc 1998. I am sharing this image in the hopes that perhaps you might be able to find it one day either in the original CD, or Spotify or YouTube or wherever. It was independently done and I’ve looked in vain on line for any version that I could share with you here. Well worth the effort if you can find it.
over 100 questions to review with your sweetheart before you go any further
When my parents got married, they hardly knew each other. My dad had been serving in the Navy during the Korean Conflict, and my mom was a young teenager on the Canadian prairies. Her dad had recently died and she’d quit school to earn some cash to help out at home. In 1953 my dad was stationed on Vancouver Island. He took a leave and traveled by bus to southern Alberta to marry my mom. They hadn’t seen each other in nearly three years; she was not quite 18 years old. The night before the wedding they had a terrible fight – raising their voices. SHE hurled out “I don’t want to marry you!” HE surprised her by adding “I don’t want to marry you either.” That sobered them both up and they asked “What are we gonna do?” SHE said “I don’t know. But if we don’t get married, Mom will kill me. She’s been cooking all day.” . . . . . now this is a good moment to pause and reflect. Gramma was a widow with 8 children, struggling to make ends meet. My parents – being kids, decided that under the circumstances, their best option was to get married. Within 48 hours, they had all her worldly possessions packed into two suitcases, and were on a bus headed for the coast. Predictably, their life was not an easy one, they had little common ground. But they struggled their way through it.
Many years later, when I wasn’t much older than my mother had been, Dan and I lived in different cities during our courtship. Consequently we spent many hours on the highway driving from one place to the other. I lived in Cold Lake on the Military base finishing high school, Dan lived in Edmonton – a four hour drive. During those long drives (mostly in the winter and mostly in the dark), radio had poor reception the further north we drove, so we filled the time by talking. We shared opinions, philosophies and perspectives, as well as histories, traditions and dreams. We got to know each other. Touching just about every subject we could think of, we learned things about ourselves and each other, found common ground, made compromises, established boundaries, and agreed to agree on many things. I shared my fledgling testimony of the gospel.
Flashing forward a handful of years, we discovered that the things we understood better because of those long uninterrupted conversations set the groundwork for many little successes in our relationship. We had shared feelings about things that were important to us at the time, and made commitments of mutual respect to honour those feelings. We had sorted out some differences that likely would have been divisive later on.
We made a series of very important commitments to each other that sustained us for the decades that followed. We could not have guessed at how important or long lasting and strengthening those discussions would become. One thing we agreed on in those early years – long before any children came our way, was to never argue in front of our children. We agreed to never raise our voices at each other, never swear at each other, belittle or speak poorly of each other, never undermine the other – and above all, to maintain a “united front” of solidarity and mutual respect in front of our children. We understood that we wouldn’t always see eye to eye, but we agreed to take care of those issues privately until we did.
We had discussed family traditions, those we grew up with, those we observed outside our families, and those we wanted to establish in our future home. There were many things we couldn’t have anticipated, but in retrospect I am surprised at how many we did anticipate or accidentally hit on. I’ve always been glad we had that time – undisturbed by default, devoted to learning about each other as individuals, and US as a future family. It helped. It truly helped. Marriage is difficult enough – the merging of personalities, priorities, different backgrounds, expectations, feelings of right and wrong, and unique understanding of the world we live in. Difficult enough without adding powerful differences like our personal relationships with, and how we felt about God. We talked about that too; my feelings were much stronger. I had seen opposing examples of family life with God and without God, and my decision to establish a house with God had been cemented. Dan didn’t share that conviction but he respected it. It was almost enough.
As our kids grew up and began courting themselves, it became clear to me that they didn’t take the time to discuss the things I felt strongly that they needed to. They didn’t have those undisturbed hours on the highway without music or talk radio. I began to worry that they wouldn’t enjoy the unplanned but much appreciated benefit of those discussions that had served Dan and I so well. I decided to write down some of the questions that came to mind – the ones that stayed with me and that I was most grateful we had gone through. There will always be things one discovers later, things you wish you had talked about, ‘surprises’, but hopefully – with learned communication skills and a greater appreciation of the inner workings – they can be handled better.
The list of questions in this article is intended to be the beginning of ongoing dialogue between couples who are seriously dating and moving toward marriage. Ultimately, its purpose is to increase understanding and mutual respect between both and to prevent bringing unnecessary baggage to the marriage alter. Please go through them together, and in order as they are designed to progress – one section upon the other, from Temporal issues to Spiritual issues. Take your time, don’t rush through them. I suggest dedicating a whole week to each question. I also suggest you add your own questions as they come to mind.
You may discover one or two questions are repeated – this is not an accident. It is intended that the question be considered from a different perspective. Perhaps in your discussions, you might realize you have new insight. Perhaps in your discussions, you may find that your differences are irreconcilable. That will be very sad, but much better before the wedding than after. It happened twice in our family. It was sad to watch our kids’ broken hearts – but far better than marrying with those differences.
Temporal
FINANCES Money, and the use/misuse of it, is unavoidably part of our everyday lives and is one of the biggest causes for contention, arguments, and divorce.
? What is my/your/our – commitment toward TITHING? What is my / your testimony regarding this important commandment? What do I pay tithing based on – the gross or the net? How do I determine that? How strict am I in my obedience? We know that tithing is a principle with a promise. What promise? What blessings do I expect in return for my obedience? Is it wrong to expect a blessing when I am obedient to the principle upon which it is founded?
– Who will handle the day-to-day finances? – What are our long term financial goals? – What sacrifices are we prepared to make to reach those goals? – What are our financial goals for the next year? For the next five years? – What kind of a budget will we set up? What kind of commitment will we have to it? – How will we pay for dentist bills? Eye glasses? Prescriptions? Car repairs? Emergency purchases like a new furnace? New fridge? – How will we make large purchases? – The strong counsel of the church has always been to stay out of unnecessary debt. What would constitute unnecessary debt? What is debt justified for? – How do I personally / you personally / we – feel about debt? What commitment do we have to adhering to the counsel of prophets on this important subject? – What purchases would we consider going into debt for? – Credit cards are a valuable tool in our world. They are also the vehicle for a terrible form of bondage. In what ways is this true? What is my commitment toward the use of credit cards? What am I willing to do without in order to keep that commitment? – How will we fit gifts into our budget? For each other? For others? How will we plan to pay for Christmas? – What is normal in my family / your family – regarding gift giving? What is tradition? What do I / you want to continue? What adjustments are we willing to make in order to be unified in this area? – Regarding gifts, does equal mean ‘the same’ / identical? Do we need to provide the ‘same’ way in order to provide equally? Do we need to spend the ‘same’ in all things in order to be equal? Do our individual needs, need to be ‘the same’ in order to be of equal importance? – Keeping in mind that we come from two entirely different backgrounds, what is important to one family, may not be important (or even meaningful) to the other. If one family has never done something before, and has no expectation of it, how necessary is it to begin doing it, simply to keep things ‘equal’ between our two families? – What examples can we think of that this might apply to? What can we do to avoid this being a contentious issue? What changes or compromises do I/you/we feel are important to make so that we bring the best of both our upbringings to this area, and so that we are both comfortable? – What things, or in what areas do I/you personally consider important enough to spend money that may not be an area others would consider important? What do I/you consider unimportant? What do I/you consider a waste of money? What would I/you really have a problem justifying spending money on? – What do I consider fair in the way of financial accountability to each other, and what do I consider over the top and being too controlling or too controlled? – There is a big difference between the financial struggle that accompanies shared goals, effort, sacrifice and growth, and when that ‘struggle’ morphs into feelings of helplessness and even despair. Although uncomfortable, struggle and growth are healthy and good. But there is no peace in debt. Living beyond our means soon enough causes distress. Financial distress causes despair. – In what ways is despair different than struggle? How will we be able to tell the difference? – What will we do if somehow, we have allowed ourselves to get into a financial situation that causes despair? What measures will we take to rescue ourselves? How will we stay united in this effort? – What commitment do we make to stand on our own two feet as a new family? – At what point do we go to our families and ask for help? How do we avoid or prevent ourselves from asking for help too frequently and expecting someone else to repeatedly rescue us from poor choices we’ve made? – Who will we feel comfortable asking for help? When do we ask for help? And what arrangements do we make to repay that help? – How important is it to share our good fortune with others? What obligation should we feel toward being charitable? What does charity mean to me/you? Is giving without sacrifice really charity? What sacrifices are we willing to make to help another in need?
2. CAREER You don’t have to choose career over marriage or marriage over career. You really should have both – and you can have both. TALK. And figure those details out together as you mutually move toward your goals.
– What are his or her long range career goals? – Where does he or she realistically expect to be in one year? Five years? Ten years? – What effort will be required to achieve these goals? – What sacrifices are we prepared to make to accomplish these goals? – What skill will we have acquired sufficiently and have enough experience in, to fall back on if or when an additional wage is needed? – What are we willing to do to ensure that she or he has an additional marketable skill? – Will she work after children come into the family? – What are our feelings in this area? What are our family backgrounds in this area? What are our personal priorities? How has my/your attitude and commitment been influenced by the experiences and priorities we grew up with? – How important is it to me that our children have a mom home fulltime? How important is it to you? – The Proclamation on the Family states: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” – How important is it to us that we are in line with this or any other prophetic counsel? – What adjustments in our attitudes and perspectives do we need to make to be reconciled with this prophetic counsel? – What are we willing to sacrifice to achieve this?
3. HOUSEHOLD CHORES
* No matter how much we’d like to avoid them, they’re part of our life. While it is important to have spousal roles established, it is equally important to be flexible.
For instance: in our marriage, the house has always been Mom’s responsibility although Dad was quick to help whenever it was needed. Providing financially has always been Dad’s responsibility, but Mom has always done whatever possible to help ease the burden, and for awhile became the major breadwinner. Cars and yard work have always been Dad’s domain, while gardening has always been Mom’s, although both have chipped in when needed. Dad does the heavy work, Mom does the ‘fiddley’ work. Dad enjoys barbequing, Mom enjoys indoors cooking. Dad wants meat so he, for the most part cooks it, otherwise we would be eating much less of it. Those were our established ‘roles’, that we ourselves chose and were comfortable with. At times however, necessity demanded that we adjust – sometimes dramatically for a time. It was an ‘adjustment’, sometimes even a painful adjustment, but not a reversal of roles. When the need abated, former rolls fell back into place. – Cindy Suelzle
– What are your priorities in the area of roles and expectations? – The Proclamation on the Family states: “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” – How will the chores be divided up? How will they differ or adjust when ‘she’ quits work to nurture children? Or continues working? – Who will take responsibility for what area? – What are our role definitions? – What are our role expectations? – What skills do I need to acquire or improve upon to be a better wife/mother/nurturer? – What skills do I need to acquire or improve upon to be a better husband/father/provider? – What am I willing to do to learn better skills, and what am I prepared to do to help YOU learn and grow in your responsibilities?
4. FOOD, NUTRITION and HEALTH
There’s a connection. Undeniably.
– What do we consider important here? – What foods are “comfort foods” to me? or my personal or traditional favorites? Do I have an opinion on the ‘type’ of foods we eat as a family? – Am I willing to have new food experiences? – What foods do I have a strong dislike to? How will we compromise here? – Review Section 89 of the D&C. – How do we interpret this section? What are our insights? To what extent are we willing to follow the noncompulsory parts of its direction? – What kind of responsibility do I feel toward proper nutrition? – What are my standards on the “quality” of the food we buy or grow?
– How will we deal with minor illnesses in our family? – What kinds of medication do I consider appropriate? – How will we deal with major illnesses?
“When we were newly married, we decided on some basic things which we thought were important to acquire for our independence and self reliance. ie: a few flashlights, coal oil lanterns with extra wicks and sufficient oil for many days use, wheat grinder, food dehydrator, canner, sufficient jars for home canning, juicer, battery operated radio etc. Money was always an issue. We used birthdays and Christmases and any other opportunity to acquire them for each other or to put on our wish lists if anyone else was interested. ” – Cindy
– What are our priorities in the area of Family Preparedness and Emergency Preparedness? – What is the difference? – What are our goals? What are we prepared to do to meet these goals? – Read David A. Bednar’s talk WE WILL PROVE THEM HEREWITH
There is strong counsel to STORE WHAT YOU EAT, AND EAT WHAT YOU STORE. To store food you don’t normally eat, doesn’t make any sense at all. But to not eat what you’ve got stored so that it is constantly be rotated, also doesn’t make sense, and leads to waste.
– What are our individual opinions on the counsel to store food? – How do we feel about that counsel and what is my/your/our commitment to it? – How does that counsel fit into what we see going on in the world around us? – How much of our family budget are we prepared to spend building up and then maintaining our year’s supply of food and other necessities? – How will we obey the prophet’s counsel to plant a garden in whatever living situation we find ourselves? Remember that we receive no commandment without the Lord providing a way for us to accomplish that thing. (1N3:7)
6. ENTERTAINMENT and GIFTS
“When there is a good movie in town, consider going to the theater as a family. Your very patronage will give encouragement to those who wish to produce this type of entertainment, and use that most remarkable of all tools of communication, television, to enrich their lives. There is so much that is good, but it requires selectivity. Let those who are responsible for any efforts to put suitable family entertainment on television know of your appreciation for that which is good and also of your displeasure with that which is bad. In large measure, we get what we ask for.” “…if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” (A/F 13) – Gordon B. Hinckley
– How will we honour ‘date night’? – Do we like to host? What is important to me/you in hosting? – What is my favorite type of entertainment? – What type of entertainment would I consider as a regular form of entertainment? – On a monthly basis? – On a once in awhile basis? – On a seasonal/yearly/anniversary celebration basis? – How much money would I consider fair and reasonable to budget/spend on these forms of entertainment?
– Some couples do not give gifts to each other. Some consider it very important. How do I feel about it? – How do YOU feel about it? If our opinions differ, what will we do here? – What do I expect in the way of a birthday gift? Christmas gift? Anniversary gift? – What would disappoint me and hurt my feelings concerning a gift from you? – What would I absolutely love to receive from you? – What type of gift would always be a hit with me?
7. PERSONAL STANDARDS
Personal standards are hugely important, and their variance affects every facet of our lives. We are ruled by our own personal standards. So what are mine? And am I consistent with them? Do they transition smoothly to all areas?
“The flood of pornographic filth, the inordinate emphasis on sex and violence are not peculiar to North America. The situation is as bad in Europe and in many other areas. The whole dismal picture indicates a weakening rot seeping into the very fiber of society. Legal restraints against deviant moral behavior are eroding under legislative enactments and court opinions. This is done in the name of freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of choice in so-called personal matters. But the bitter fruit of these so-called freedoms has been enslavement to debauching habits and behavior that leads only to destruction. A prophet, speaking long ago, aptly described the process when he said, “And thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell” (2 Nephi 28:21). ……. I am satisfied that there is no need to stand still and let the filth and violence overwhelm us or to run in despair. The tide, high and menacing as it is, can be turned back if enough … will add their strength to the strength of the few who are now effectively working. I believe the challenge to oppose this evil is one from which members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as citizens, cannot shrink. …. Respect for self is the beginning of virtue in men. That man who knows that he is a child of God, created in the image of a divine Father and gifted with a potential for the exercise of great and godlike virtues, will discipline himself against the sordid, lascivious elements to which all are exposed.” – Gordon B. Hinkley
– How do I feel about protecting my home, my family and myself from the plague of Pornography? – What steps am I prepared to take against it? – What about Inappropriate music? And other forms of entertainment which chase away the spirit of God? – How do I feel about the prophet’s admonition to not watch R–rated movies, or anything like unto them? – How important is it to me to have the spirit of the Lord in my home at all times? What am I prepared to do to make sure it is always there? – Do I sup from the scriptures daily? And do I consider it important to study daily as a couple and family? – How will we do this? What commitment will we make to each other to continue? – If circumstances interfere from time to time, what will we do to get back-on-the-wagon? – How important is it to me to align myself with the counsel of the leaders of the church? Of what value is this in my life? – How important is it to me to have a clean house? What does this even look like to me? What am I prepared to do to accomplish this? – Do we have similar standards on personal hygiene/grooming? Are we compatible in this area? – How important is it to me to keep a close relationship with my immediate family? – What am I prepared to do to learn to appreciate and come to love YOUR family? – If one of my siblings needs help, what obligation will I feel toward them? Will I feel the same obligation to one of your siblings?
Etiquette is a societal thing; it changes from one society to another, but wherever you live, it is very important. It is a set of ‘norms’ of personal behaviour in polite society. They show respect to others. Eating at someone else’s table where you don’t understand proper etiquette can be offensive, disrespectful, intimidating and embarrassing. Learning regional and cultural variances is easy to adjust to when you have a good foundational knowledge of some basics. Understanding and being comfortable with good table manners will always put an individual in the advantage. – Cindy Suelzle
– How important are table manners and table etiquette including setting a proper table to me? How will they help us be comfortable in social situations and help our kids to be comfortable eating with others as they grow older? – What about good manners in general?
Speaking about personal respect for each other . . . .
– How will we show respect to and for each other? – How will we honor each other? – How should we treat each other in public? What things should we agree to NOT discuss with other people? – What guidelines could we agree on to ensure that we do not say things around other people that may hurt our sweetheart’s feelings? – How will we know when we have offended our sweetheart’s feelings? And what will we do about it? – What do I consider RUDE? What do I consider inconsiderate or thoughtless? – How do we fix things between us? – What do I need to feel ‘safe’ enough to discuss with you, things that are important to me? …things that are sensitive to me? …. things that are hurtful to me? – What can I do to help YOU feel ‘safe’ enough to discuss those things openly with me? – We have been admonished to study “out of the best books”. What do we consider Best Books? – How important is a “gospel library” to me? – How important is it to me to have a good “classic library”? – What kind of plan should we implement to accomplish our goal?
“You know that your children will read. They will read books, and they will read magazines and newspapers. Cultivate within them a taste for the best. While they are very young, read to them the great stories which have become immortal because of the virtues they teach. Expose them to good books. Let there be a corner somewhere in your house, be it ever so small, where they will see at least a few books of the kind upon which great minds have been nourished. … Let there be good magazines about the house, those which are produced by the Church and by others, which will stimulate their thoughts to ennobling concepts. Let them read a good family newspaper that they may know what is going on in the world without being exposed to the debasing advertising and writing so widely found.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
– How important is music to me? – What do I consider worthy/appropriate music? How do I feel about a music library?
“Let there be music in the home. If you have teenagers who have their own recordings, you may be prone to describe the sound as something other than music. Let them hear something better occasionally. Expose them to it. It will speak for itself. More appreciation will come than you may think. It may not be spoken, but it will be felt, and its influence will become increasingly manifest as the years pass.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
– How important is it to me to develop a musical talent of mine? What kind of support will I expect?
7. TRADITIONS
– How did my family celebrate Christmas? What was my favourite part? – What was our traditional meal? – When did we open gifts? What kinds of things did we get in our stockings? – How do I feel about continuing my family’s Christmas traditions into our own family? – How do I think we should keep Christ in our Christmas celebrations? – What are the best parts of the ways we each celebrated Christmas in the families we grew up with? – What could we do differently in our home that we will both be happy with? – What traditions will I bring with me? You with you? Do we agree on the value of these traditions? – How did my family celebrate Easter? What was my favourite part? What part do I want to continue in my own family? – How do I feel about Halloween? – Thanksgiving? – Summer vacation? – What is my favorite holiday? And why? How can I share my enthusiasm for this special day with you? – What style of furniture do I like? What can I be happy with? What compromises am I willing to make?
Spiritual
8. TEMPLE ATTENDANCE
With temples being so close to the bulk of the membership, many couples set a goal for regular attendance. – What is my feeling about the promise of eternal families that temples represent? – What goal will we set for ourselves relative to attending the temple? – And of continual temple worthiness?
9. PERSONAL or PRIVATE SPIRITUAL COMMITMENT
– What commitment will we make specifically about scripture study, individual/couple/family prayer, journal writing and family record keeping? – How will we choose to preserve family memories? (i.e. photos, slides, videos, albums, scrapbooks etc) – What Christ-like attribute most impressed me about you? drew me to you? and made me want you for my companion? – What is the thing I admire/respect most about you that I would like to emulate in my life? – How important to me are the laws, ordinances and principles of the gospel? – How important is it to me to be align myself to them? How important do I think it should be? Is there even any value in obedience? – What efforts am I willing to make in my personal desire to have a relationship with my Saviour? – What is my feeling about regular church attendance? – What is my feeling toward church service? – The counsel of the brethren is to dress as if we are wearing temple garments, even if we are not. – How do I feel about modesty in dress and speech? – What commitment do I feel to dress so that I reflect church standards at all times?
Testimonies are living breathing things in need of constant nourishment. They can become weak and even sickly if they’re not taken care of. What will I do if you lose your testimony? What will you do if I lose mine?
10. CHURCH RESPONSIBILITIES
– What is my commitment level to callings and responsibilities within the Church? – How willing am I to serve selflessly and faithfully in the Church? – What will I do to encourage my partner in his/her ministering stewardships? – What will I do to support and sustain my partner in his/her individual callings?
11. TITHES and OFFERINGS
– What do I regard as an honest and full tithing? – Do we agree on what we consider Increase? – How do I feel about fast and other offerings? – What do I consider a generous fast offering? – Do we agree on this? – What about other donations such as the Perpetual Education fund or the Missionary fund? Do I believe that blessings will come into our lives as a result of our obeying the law of tithing and of contributing to other funds organized by the Church for the benefit of the charity the Church provides? – Do I have an understanding of the principle of ‘offerings’?
12. SABBATH OBSERVANCE – What do I consider proper Sabbath observance? – What are some of the things we should DO on Sunday? – What are some of the things I feel that we should NOT do in order to keep the Sabbath day separate and holy? – What are our expectations of each other in this area? – What would disappoint me regarding our/your Sabbath observance?
13. FAMILY HOME EVENING
“A better tomorrow begins with the training of a better generation. This places upon parents the responsibility to do a more effective work in the rearing of children. The home is the cradle of virtue, the place where character is formed and habits are established. Family home evening is the opportunity to teach the ways of the Lord.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
– What will we do to ensure that we observe the counsel to keep Monday evenings for family when we are still just a couple? What will we do to use this opportunity to strengthen our family in the gospel? – How will we keep it a priority? – What commitments are we prepared to make now that would directly impact our future children regarding Family Home Evening (FHE)?
ROMANCE
14. FRIENDSHIP
What things are important to me in our continued relationship as FRIENDS? What are my expectations from a best friend? What am I prepared to do to BE your best friend? What do I consider healthy as far as other best friends in my/your life? What freedom will I be willing to give my spouse in their pursuit of relationships with other friends?
15. DATE NIGHT
– How committed are we to obeying the council to have regular date night? What value do we see in this practice? – What good examples can I think of concerning regular date night observance? – What are we prepared to do on a daily basis to keep the romance in our marriage alive? – How will we observe special days such as our Anniversary? Each other’s birthdays? Valentine’s Day? Etc. (i.e. some couples celebrate their anniversary date by attending the temple to do sealings. In this way it is a continual reminder of the covenants they made and the promises they could depend on.)
If I intend to be happily married to you in 40+ years, what am I prepared to give until then to ensure it? – How will we talk about each other in front of other people? (even if we are upset with the other) – How will we talk toeach other in front of other people? – What precautions will we take to ensure we never undermine, belittle, ridicule, embarrass or insult our sweetheart? (in private or in front of others) – What if we do offend the other not intending to? – What if they get their feelings hurt over something we considered innocent or even funny? – How will we refer to each other? What terms of endearment am I comfortable with? – What will we do when we fall out of love? (WE WILL bytheway) – How will we stay married, and healthy and committed to each other if one day we think that we’ve grown apart? How will we help each other through it? – How will we communicate to each other that we are in distress, and that something is very wrong in our relationship? – What are we prepared to do to overcome major difficulties in our relationship? – What do we expect from each other in the area of commitment and communication? to our marriage – to our children – to our own family – to Family Home Evening – to Date Night – to our extended families – to our ward – to the Church – to God – and to our community?
16. INTIMACY and PREGNANCY
– How do I/you feel about purity before marriage? – Can we be honest with our personal history concerning that? – Can we deal with it? How will we deal with it? – Do we see the need for using a form of birth control? If so, what form will we use? – What will we do to make sure we are educated and properly informed about current methods of birth control? – How important is a feeling of ‘trust’ and safety to me in regards to intimacy? -How important do I think it is that we both feel comfortable about being open and honest in our discussions about intimacy? – What will we do to be sure we are educated and properly informed about pregnancy and child birth? – What will we do to ensure optimum health for Mom and baby? How involved do we want Dad to be in the birthing? – What if the unthinkable happens? ….. miscarriage? What if . . . our baby dies? How will we help each other through this hard thing? – What if another unthinkable happens? . . . . . infidelity? What will we do? – Can we see ourselves able to forgive? – What are our ‘non-negotiables’ in this area?
17. PARENTING
– How many children do we want? – Will Mom stay home to raise them? – What is my idea of discipline? – What are some things that I consider very important in child rearing? – What should we as parents do to ensure that we teach by example such things as respect for womanhood? Manhood? Etiquette? Table manners? Good housekeeping? Personal cleanliness? Personal responsibility? The law? – What are things I consider essential to teach children? -Where will we turn to learn parenting skills? – How will we teach our children that the Church is true? That we love, respect and obey the prophet? And that Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of our life? – How will I show my children that the scriptures are important to me? And that they can come to know Jesus Christ through their own personal study of them? – What efforts will we make to encourage our children to stay active in the Church? And to adhere to the counsel it provides? – How will I show them the importance of education and help them to develop a love of reading? – What are some absolute taboos concerning children in my opinion? – What do I feel very strongly about – concerning behaviors we will encourage, those we allow and behaviors we will absolutely forbid? Do we agree? What should we do to ensure compliance with these behaviors? – What if we have an unhealthy child? Perhaps a down syndrome child, or one who has a serious illness or disability? How do we plan to be the best parents possible no matter what that looks like? – What did our parents do right in the parenting department, that we’d like to emulate? – What improvements can we make over our parents’ best attempts, to continue to become the best parents our children deserve?
18. OTHER THINGS of IMPORTANCE TO CONSIDER
– What are my priorities in the area of TIME? – What do I consider a big waste of time? – a moderate waste of time? – Where would I absolutely draw the line in my flexibility of my partner doing something I consider to be a waste of time, money and energy? Or something I abhor? – What are my priorities in the area of money? – It is likely that we may look at money differently. One might resent frugality. One might resent spending freely with no regard for budget. What do I consider a big waste of money? – a moderate waste of money? – Where would I absolutely draw the line in my tolerance of my partner spending money in what I consider to be a waste of money? – How would I like to spend the hours of an entire free day with you? – How would I like to spend the hours of an entire free day without you?. .
These questions have been edited continually since I first drafted them for Sarah – many years ago.
You need not ‘report’ on any discussion, but I think it would be helpful to be accountable to someone that you have indeed been through each one. For my kids, I tried to give them one sheet at a time, and when they told me they were ready for another, I gave it to them.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to communicate, now and throughout your marriage. Take them seriously. I once asked a friend who used these “Did you not go through those questions?” She affirmed that they did. “Well how did this one get missed then? It’s pretty straight forward.” “I didn’t think it was that important. I didn’t think he was that serious about it.”
That’s not fair. Not being straight up and owning your words, not doing what you committed to do – not fair. If there are serious ‘issues’ with any of these questions, have those issues today, BEFORE you are married. If they cannot be resolved, it is best to learn that before you go to the alter.
Everyday Emergency – Day 7 (of 7) : Act of Service
As we enter this final day of our 7 Day Emergency Preparedness Challenge, we’re embracing an essential aspect of readiness that extends beyond our own households.
The journey of Preparedness is often centered on family or household, and it is easy to forget that we are not alone. There are people in need all around just now, “Opportunities right in our way. Do not let them pass by, saying ‘sometime I’ll try’, but GO and DO something today.” (1)
Today you felt a prompting to help someone in need, someone you know is going through a tough time, and it sure would be helpful if they didn’t have to worry about dinner tonight. You’d like to bring them a meal, or even just a special treat to let them know you’re thinking of them, but you have a super busy day with no time to run to the store, Walking away from such a prompting is a missed opportunity; don’t let it go unheeded.
Charitable Preparedness and sometimes ‘kindness’ often revolves around our own families and homes, but today, let’s remember that we are part of a larger community. Someone you know might be facing a challenging time, and something as seemingly small as a batch of homemade muffins can make a world of difference.
Goal: Have a go-to meal on hand for “emergency” acts of service
Your challenge for today is twofold: First, create a meal or treat using your food storage, and your resourcefulness. Second, find someone in need, whether it’s a friend, a neighbour, or someone you barely know in your community, and share your thoughtful creation to brighten their day.
Even in our busiest moments, we can spread kindness and the spirit of preparedness. Share your act of service and the impact it had on YOU in the comments below or in our facebook group. Let’s close this challenge week with a reminder that preparedness is not just about self-reliance, it’s also about the strength of our collective community.
As we face this scenario together, let’s consider a different perspective. Too often our attention to preparedness leads us to look only at our own situations, focusing on ourselves to the exclusion of those not in our house. We may justify this to ourselves in various ways, sometimes we judge our own needs to be more important than the needs of another, or at least more ‘urgent’. This is never Christ’s way. Sometimes in taking the time to listen and understand, the problems of another puts our own in a more realistic perspective.
Goal: Look outside of yourself and your house, and feel the pain of someone else. Remember you’re still involved in this challenge week, so you’re restricted to your food storage – but that doesn’t mean you can’t reach out and ease someone else’s burden.
Today’s Tasks
Prepare a meal (or in a pinch – a special treat) for someone else.
Be thoughtful – even prayerful about this and FIND someone you can do this for. It won’t be hard (trust me), who wouldn’t appreciate a meal, a loaf of homemade bread or a batch of muffins?
Use only ingredients from your pantry or food storage
Either personally deliver your meal, or have someone else personally deliver it.
*hint: this is one of those times that a meal in a jar (MIJ) would come in very handy
Once you have performed your “act of service” you are DONE with the challenge!
Compile all your report cards from the week into a master list of things to do, learn and buy.
SHARING TIME: Post a picture of the meal or treat you made in our facebook group or share the story of your act of service in the comments below. Focus on how you feel about it.
As for all the other challenge days, don’t go shopping to accomplish this task. You are working with what you have on hand only, in a way to demonstrate to yourself that you can reach out when its not convenient because “charity never faileth“.
Advanced Tasks because you’re a super hero:
Compile a list of at least two or three meals (or home baking or treats) that you can always fall back on because you always have the necessary ingredients on hand. Keep it (and the recipes if necessary) in a handy place to refer to frequently – Your GO-TO meals. Ensure you keep those ingredients in stock – add them to your report card if necessary.
Meals in a Jar are a life saver and will last in your pantry for months in an airtight jar, or years if you seal them properly. Come up with several MIJ recipes and make up two of each to use when you’re in a hurry and could use a quick nutritious meal.
* I have a minimum of 6 meals on hand at all times. When I’m on top of my game I try to have a dozen. Totally converted here.
Things to consider:
Charitable service is rarely if ever convenient, so don’t let a busy day or limited resources interfere. You might just have to be more creative to work within your restrictions. PLAN ahead to make future service less inconvenient.
One of my favourite quotes of all time is this one by Neal A. Maxwell “Empathy during agony is a portion of divinity.” (2) To me, it simply means that sometimes – even when you’re hurting, or when things are tough, looking outside yourself can change perspective. It invites a spirit into your life, and separates you from your trial if only for a short time. There’s something about thinking about someone else, something about feeling for them, grieving for them, or even rejoicing with them – that puts our day-to-day challenges into perspective. It brings us closer to our Saviour – He who thought of the agony of his mother while hanging from the cross. If we can have empathy, during our own suffering, then we experience a little more of what it means to be Christlike.
“Those who serve even in adversity will maintain a living hope of a better future.” – Carlos H. Amado (3)
TOMORROW is a New Day – a day to start filling in the gaps that this prior week exposed.
Go through your report cards and make a master list of the notes you took – especially those things you said you were going to DO or buy. If you’ve been keeping notes in your report cards, the data you collected will be very useful as you move forward.
Another favourite quote of mine is from Maya Angelou “Do the Best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, DO Better!” So simple and yet so profound. She gives me permission to stop beating myself up over mistakes I made in the past. I really did the BEST I knew how at the time. But now I know better, so I must DO something different. I must be better, I must DO Better. Otherwise everything I did previously was a waste of time and I learned nothing.
7 Day Challenge REPORT CARD
Goal: Learn to see past yourself, into the experiences of another. Respond to what you see with the service of a meal. If a meal doesn’t suit them, not to worry, find another way .
AFTER you have completed your act of service, Celebrate a week well done! If your family’s been on this journey with you, sit down together to reflect on your experiences, and review what you’ve learned about yourselves. If you’ve been doing this on your own – take the time to reflect and review anyway. This is a very important step. Don’t dismiss it. This whole week has been about learning, so be open minded and teachable. What did you learn?
Go out and celebrate! Buy yourself a DQ Blizzard! A big one. Enjoy it! You deserve it, and think of all the money you saved this week by not making any purchases. Then think about the money you’re going to reallocate into being more prepared for real life emergencies in the future. That’ll bring you back down to reality.
Daily Notes
Thanks for taking this journey with us. Its been fun and we’ve each personally learned a LOT.
Review your REPORT CARD to help you tally up your strengths and weaknesses. Use that hard earned information to help you, and in due time – when you’ve made some improvements and filled in some gaps – take the Challenge again, on your own time – or with us. Because we’re definitely gonna do this again! And again and again. As long as it takes to work out all the kinks and fine tune our level of preparedness. We might introduce a few new challenges from time to time, or tweak the ones we’ve done, but for the most part – I know I NEED SOME REPETITION to improve my situation and up my game.
Scenario: In today’s challenge , we’re confronted with a scenario that emphasizes the unpredictability of natural disasters, and one that has touched millions of people in the last few years – in Alberta, BC, Ontario and Quebec, New York, California, Washington, Oregon and other areas: raging wild fires. This summer has been unprecedented in the devastation.
Imagine this harrowing situation: An out-of-control wildfire, fueled by fierce winds, unexpectedly changes direction and races toward your town. You have mere minutes to evacuate, leaving behind your home. Today, you’ll rely on your 72-hour kit for sustenance. It’s a stark reminder of the critical role preparedness plays in our lives and how quickly circumstances can change.
As we navigate this scenario together, let’s discuss our experiences, lessons learned, and any advice we can offer for coping with evacuations and relying on emergency supplies. The comments section is where we come together as a community to share, support, and strengthen our preparedness.
Goal: Test your family’s evacuation plan, 72 hour kit and portable emergency foods
Today’s Tasks
Evacuate your house within 15 minutes of reading today’s challenge. You do not know if your house will be destroyed while you are gone so plan accordingly. Stay away until after lunchtime.
Eat/drink ONLY out of your 72 hour kits until you return home
While you are out, make a list of potential reasons you could be forced to evacuate. For each scenario, write down where you would go, what type of stuff you would need in your kits, how long you’d be gone, etc. Use this list to re-evaluate what you may or may not include in your kits.
Don’t have a 72 hour kit? This challenge will convince you how important that is.
You’ll want to make a list of all of your valuables to submit to your insurance company since your house was destroyed while you were gone (this is more valuable to have BEFORE you actually lose everything). In the spring of 2023 we lost a cabin we’d been renovating for three years. We did not have a list of things in it, just in our memories and a few snap shots. Big regrets with that.
Using the daily report card, make a list of things you could do and buy to minimize your losses in a complete house loss (i.e. Fireproof-waterproof safe, computer backup options, safety deposit box for valuables, etc.)
SHARING TIME: Post a picture or description of one of your 72 hour kit meals in our facebook group or in the blog comments
Today’s Limitations
For this day, and ALL days of the challenge: no spending money, no going to stores, and no restaurants.
You can’t eat or drink anything besides what is in your 72 hour kits until dinnertime.
You must stay away from home until after lunch.
Advanced Tasks because you’re a super hero:
Eat out of your 72 hour kits for dinner too.
Evacuate overnight using only supplies from your disaster kit.
*Contact your insurance company and find out details about what would be covered in a total loss situation like this.
Things to know:
An Evacuation Order means You are at risk and must leave the area immediately. This is a mandatory evacuation enforced by local authorities. The evacuation order may be issued without a preceding alert, if there isn’t enough warning.
Alerts and orders are distributed by local authorities to their communities through tools like posters, flyers and door-to-door notices. Widespread evacuation alerts and evacuation orders will be broadcast through Alert Ready systems on radio, television and compatible wireless devices.
Evacuation alerts and orders will instruct you where to go. These areas are called assembly points and reception centres. You may also get information on which routes to avoid or use. Be sure your family emergency plan identifies exit routes from your neighbourhood and don’t forget to bring your 72-hour emergency kit.
When you arrive at the assembly point or reception centre be sure to register yourself and family. You will then be directed to a shelter or other resources.
When an evacuation warning alert is issued, get ready to leave by gathering your family, emergency kit and necessities for travel. Be ready to go if an evacuation is ordered.
If you decide to leave before an evacuation order, let your emergency contacts know your plan. If an evacuation order is issued after you have left, or you were away from home during an emergency, check in with authorities as instructed. This prevents unnecessary worry as to your family’s safety and whereabouts.
Why a Emergency Evacuation Kit?
You must be prepared to be self-sufficient (you and your household) for a minimum of 72 hours without power, running water, or the ability to purchase anything. You cannot expect anyone to be responsible for your safety and comfort if you have ignored your own responsibility for those very important things.
Don’t count on being home when an emergency occurs. Natural disasters are rarely convenient. Create grab-and-go bags for your home, workplace and vehicle.
What is the difference between an Emergency Evacuation Kit – a Bug Out Bag – a 72 Hour Kit – a Grab’n’Go Bag? Nothing. Call it whatever you want, they’re pretty much the same things. Often a Grab’n’Go Bag refers to something you might carry in your vehicle with you just in case.
What should be IN my 72 hour kit?
You will need basic supplies for every member of your household. Put essential items like food, water and medication in one bag. This makes it easy to locate when the power is out and easy to grab and go in case you have to leave your home quickly.
a 3-day supply of water. Estimate 2 Litres per person per day.
3-day supply of non-perishable food for all family members and pets.
First-aid kit.
Flashlight and extra batteries.
Wind-up or battery-powered radio (with extra batteries).
Extra eyeglasses or contact lenses.
Prescriptions or special medications.
Car keys, credit cards and cash.
Garbage bags, moist towelettes and sanitation supplies.
Chargers for cellphones and electronic communication devices.
Seasonal clothing and footwear for each family member.
click here to see a suggested list from the Yukon government click here for a suggested vehicle grab n go bag list * In the event that you get separated from family members, have a PLAN ready and understood about where you’re going, and how to reunite.
REMEMBER, TOMORROW’S CHALLENGE WILL BE DIFFERENT.
Don’t forget to fill out today’s REPORT CARD to see how well you did, and to keep track of areas you can improve in.
7 Day Challenge REPORT CARD
Today we focused on what to do when faced with the VERY REAL likelihood that you might experience what tens of thousands of people experienced – this year in particular – Evacuation in the case of a Natural Disaster. You must be prepared for the unthinkable – to come back to NO house. Many do. It is a terrible reality. Don’t delude yourself about it never happening to you. Why not you?
Goal: Learn what its like to leave home with only what you can carry, and be able to take care of yourself and your family without your familiar surroundings and comforts.
Today’s Evaluation Questions to ask Yourself
How’d you do?
Did you already have an existing 72 hour kit? Was it helpful? What kinds of meals did you have in it? Could you feed those meals to your family while sitting on a gym floor somewhere?
If you didn’t have a 72 hour kit, how do you feel about that now?
What kinds of non food items would you like to add to your 72 hour kit?
What kinds of foods would you like to include in it?
Have you ever been evacuated before? Or been on evacuation alert? How did that influence your preparedness level afterward?
Does this simulation give you a little more empathy for those who lived it?
What kind of changes would you make to your preparedness plan after having spent a whole day up close and personal with an evacuation simulation?
This is Day 4 of testing our Emergency Preparedness. REMEMBER: No going to a store, or spending any money for the entire 7 days! And please feel free to adapt the scenarios to fit your own family and situation.
You’ve received some bad news – you’ll be in the hospital for an extended period of time – an emergency unavoidable surgery. You’ve been told that when you come home in about a month, you can expect to be bed ridden for at least another month. After that, it will be a slow recuperation but in time, if you’re careful, you should regain most of your former health. This all happens TOMORROW. Today you must help your family prepare for you to have an extended “leave of absence”. If you are single focus on getting your own affairs settled. Prepare to be absent from your current life situation for two months. Who’s gonna take care of things while you’re gone?
Goal: Teach your family knowledge and skills that depend on you
Today’s Tasks:
Teach the other members of your household how to do any tasks that normally fall to you (i.e. laundry, cooking basics, mowing the lawn, car maintenance, etc.)
THIS ARE CRITICAL LIFE SKILLS that you are not doing anyone any favours by not teaching.
Make sure to pass financial information on to your spouse, significant other, another mature family member, or trusted friend.
If you’re the one in charge of managing the family schedule and routines, write it all out and make assignments or arrangements for how the family could make it without you
If you live alone, make a plan for who would look after your house/affairs if you had to leave suddenly
Make a list of all your logins for important websites that family members may need to access. Either print it and put it somewhere secure or save it in a secure manner on your computer.
Remember how important sharing is to us all. It is the only way we can learn from another’s experiences.
SHARING TIME: What is the ONE task that would be hardest for someone else to take over if you were gone for two months? Share in our group dialogue for today.
Today’s Limitations:
For this day, and ALL days of the challenge: no spending money, no going to stores, and no restaurants.
No other limitations today.
Advanced Tasks because you’re a super hero:
After teaching your family how to do your “jobs” actually leave for the day or remove yourself from those tasks – testing your family to DO THEM.
If you’re single or don’t have a large household, pass along the information to a friend or family for taking care of your house and affairs FOR REAL. Give a trusted friend or neighbour your key. Offer to do the same for them. This is not just a plan to do it – DO IT! If you ever do need to be gone, there will not be time to worry about it then.
As we tackle this scenario, let’s discuss strategies for preparing our households, rallying our support networks, and managing the emotional challenges that come with unexpected crises. Share your thoughts, experiences, and advice in the comments below or in our facebook Preparedness group. Remember, the challenge continues with new scenarios ahead. We’re here for each other, and together, we can face any challenge life throws our way.
Goal: Teach your family knowledge and skills that depend on you
Over our married life there have been many discussions about Hallowe’en. We haven’t always seen eye to eye on it, but we manage to get through unscathed. We’ve noted that candy hits the grocery store shelves a lot earlier than it used to; in fact some of it never leaves, it just increases in volume for two or three months.
I’ve never been big on having candy in the house on a regular basis. My kids pretty much all agree that that was one of the bigger mistakes I made as a mom, and they went into adulthood with those scars. I conceded (with limitations) at Hallowe’en, Christmas and Easter. Some things haven’t changed very much. I can’t help it. I simply cannot be the one who gives children ‘candy’. One day my 5 year old grandson Braeden said “I have a healthy gramma and a candy gramma.” Oh oh, I knew exactly where this one was gonna go, but I opened the door anyway. “Which one do you like best?” I asked. With absolutely no hesitation – he had already made his decision “The candy Gramma.” LOL
I chuckled when I mentioned it to my daughter-in-law later, and she was mortified assuring me he didn’t mean it. But he did mean it, and that was 100% okay with me; I wasn’t offended then and I’m not offended now. It was funny to me, and it still is. He spoke from the immediate perspective of an innocent – focused on instant gratification, and the facts. The most important fact at the moment was that he.liked.candy. That’s okay. The truth is, I also like candy. If we’re talking only about the ‘taste’ of milk chocolate, I like it as much as anybody else – possibly more than many. And if that was the only consideration, we’d eat it for dinner at my house. But sugar and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the years.
I have a lotta dental work that can attest to how much candy I ate as a child, combined with poor training on personal dental care. And I have struggled my whole life with weight issues. It didn’t make any sense to me to allow candy a place of honour in the home I raised my children in. The jury’s still out on what the best parenting choices regarding sweets might be, but suffice it to say that most parents make the best choice they know how. Certainly I did. But eventually the kids grew up, gained more autonomy over their candy choices, and in their turn made the best parenting choices they could.
In the meantime, I still like chocolate and I still live in a 1st world country which pretty much worships it. I may have a lotta personal strengths, but willpower has never been one of them. Case in point is this dialogue below – which is absolutely true in every word, with varying degrees of repetitiveness over the years.
Sept 1, Dan says: “I saw Halloween candy over at Sobeys. Guess we better get some eh?” me: “Why? We don’t need a bunch of chocolate bars taking up residence in this house – two months before they have to.” he: “Well we don’t want to wait so long that they run out.” me: “Oh come on! The last time a store ran out of Halloween candy was the Halloween day that I was 10 years old. (a childhood memory) he: “I just thought it would be good to get it over with. Then we won’t have to worry about it.” me: “Do you lose sleep worrying about possibly forgetting to pick up Hallowe’en candy? We both know that if that stuff comes into this house we’ll eat it all up, and then have to buy some more. And so do the stores know that. Which is why its on the shelves on Labour Day.” he: “Well we might eat ‘some’ but that’s okay.” me: “No its not Dan. Because unlike you, I don’t eat ‘some’. It will haunt me and I’ll be into it everyday till its gone. I can’t have that kinda temptation around. I’m sorry you married such a weak person.” he: “I’ll hide it. You’ll be fine.” me: “I won’t be fine. I’ll rip the house apart till I find it.” he: “I’ll keep it in the garage.” me: “You don’t think I know how to find your little stashes in the garage?” he: “I’ll put it in the freezer.” me: “I love frozen chocolate.” he: “I’ll keep it over at the store.” Oh that’s a good one. We owned a family bookstore (Generations LDS Bookstore) at the time – where I might add, I spent the biggest part of each day. me: “Oh THAT sounds like a brilliant plan!” he: “I’ll keep it in the trunk of the car I drive. When I’m not home, it won’t be here.”
. . . . . . . let’s face it, to some of life’s issues there are just no perfect solutions, and that’s okay. We’ll get through them and keep things in perspective. Life is full of compromises.
I am loving my study of Jesus the Christby James Edward Talmage. I have read it before but its been a long time, and it is an excellent companion to my current study of the New Testament. In 1905, the First Presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, requested Talmage to write the book that would later come to be known as Jesus the Christ. They requested he compile his lectures (as a professor of religion), into a book that could be widely available to church members and other readers. At the time, Talmage had many responsibilities with his church callings, his family, and his profession that kept him from starting the book but nearly ten years later, following another request from the First Presidency, he began in earnest writing Jesus the Christ. Such was the importance the First Presidency placed on the writing of this book, that they set aside space in the Salt Lake Temple for him to work uninterrupted and without the usual distractions of everyday life. Just under one year from starting it, Jesus the Christ was published in September 1915.
I am utterly amazed with every page that I read. Especially when I consider the conditions and time that Brother Talmage wrote. Writing in the world in which I live, I have at my fingertips, this computer – that I not only type on, but edit my own thoughts, and through which I can research almost any subject or printed work I desire. Most works on the life and ministry of the Saviour were written after Talmage’s time, though I am certain he had a few respected works that he read from. The most important sources of information however, were the scriptures themselves. and of course continual communion with the spirit of the Lord throughout the project. Clearly the fruits of his work were meant to be shared. It is my highest recommendation that everyone read it – at least once, hopefully several times. I promise that you will feel the spirit as you do, and that your testimony of Jesus the Christ will expand. You will refer back to the things you learn for many years to come.
What a joy it is for me to read it again with a few other women friends who are also reading in conjunction with their current study of the New Testament. We are taking turns reviewing chapters, and this chapter fell to me to share. In the interest of time (as I tend to be too wordy anyway) I chose to focus on Zacharias, as his story spoke to me.
My thoughts on chapter 7, the Annunciation of John and Jesus.
The story of the annunciation of the most important birth in the history of the world, and the annunciation of the forerunner that accompanies it, are in my opinion commonly skipped over, as to be almost a postscript of the Christmas story. We are all familiar with the stories. We could relate them briefly from memory: Gabriel visited the elderly priest Zacharias in the temple, and told him his prayers had been heard and that he and his wife Elisabeth would soon have a son. The angel told Zacharias that this boy would be great in the sight of the Lord, and that his name was to be John. We know that the priest was amazed to the point of doubting that such a thing was even possible, due to the age of he and his wife. He asked for a sign and was given one – that he would be dumb until the foretold events unfolded. And so it was.
We know that the same angel visited the young Mary a few months later, and gave her similar news. That she would conceive and bear a son whom she should name Jesus. We know that Mary was a virgin – which was integral to the story because no mortal man would be the father of this child. He would be the Son of God. Nothing doubting she willingly submitted herself completely, to her role in this wondrous plan. We know that the angel told her about her older cousin Elisabeth’s condition and that Mary went to visit her. We know that the two women, old and young – found solace in each other as they sorted out their respective roles. And then we get to the real event: Christmas story about the birth and the shepherds and the heavenly choir and the wisemen who came from the east. And we leave the annunciations to the side for another year, and another brief recounting.
I love that an entire chapter in JESUS THE CHRIST is devoted to fleshing out these two stories because in them lie truths and context that will aid us greatly in our understanding. Beginning with the story of Zacharias and Elisabeth, Elder Talmage explains that many generations had passed in Israel since any heavenly contact had been noted, even in the temple. In fact, the people had come almost to believe that those were things of the past and that there were no longer prophets in Israel. So it is not difficult to imagine the surprise, and even a healthy trepidation when Zacharias found himself no longer alone as he fulfilled his singular responsibilities in a part of the temple that was forbidden to everyone except for a chosen priest when called upon to be there. And even that priest would likely only be there once in his lifetime.
It may seem unnecessary but I believe it is important to Re-emphasize that Zacharias was a ‘good’ man. Such a good man that Luke described both he and his wife as “righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless“. I’d love to be described that way. Truly they “walked the covenant path” as we would say today. They had lived their lives out, never having been blessed with children – which no doubt was a great sorrow for them (for a number of reasons). The angel implied that that sorrow had been the subject of many a prayer on the part of Zacharias when he said “Fear not Zacharias; for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a son, and thou shalt call his name John.” He further said that the couple would have joy and gladness and that many others as well “would rejoice at his birth, for he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother’s womb.” The angel said that John will go before the Lord teaching, and making ready the people for the Lord.
This ‘forerunner’ had been prophesied by Old Testament prophets, just as the coming Messiah had been prophesied, and there is little doubt that Zacharias recognized the prediction of what the angel now referred to. And THIS is where we should remind ourselves how good a man Zacharias was, because he had a ‘weak moment’, and for that weak moment – that temporary lack of faith, he was severely chastised. Gabriel stood tall and let Zacharias know just who exactly he was speaking to. “I am GABRIEL, that stand in the presence of God; and am sent to speak unto thee, and to shew thee these glad tidings. And behold, thou shalt be dumb, and not able to speak, until the day that these things shall be performed, because thou believest not my words[!]” Take that Zack! That good and faithful man’s worst day was recorded for the rest of Christendom to reflect on for two thousand years. And sadly, it is the thing he became best known for. How would you like your worst moment – the one you regretted from the get-go, to be what you are immortalized for?
If John was foretold, and set apart before the world began for his great calling – as we believe those “noble and great ones” that Abraham spoke of were, then it was also known who his parents would be. Brigham Young said of Joseph Smith’s heritage “The Lord had his eyes upon him, and upon his father, and upon his father’s father, and upon their progenitors clear back to … Adam. He has watched that family and that blood as it has circulated from its fountain to the birth of that man.” John too, would have had chosen parentage, chosen and set apart for their respective roles and responsibilities. Zacharias was special and so was Elisabeth. Long before they knew they’d be the parents of the one who would introduce the Saviour of the world to humanity, it was known who they would be. Zacharias was no ordinary-joe; he was a noble servant of God, who ultimately gave his life protecting his son when Herod slew the innocents in and around the hills of Bethlehem. And yet, in a critical moment he hesitated / he doubted. No heavenly visitations recorded in Israel, no prophets speaking to Israel in over 500 years! That the first one in half a millennia would tell you something as unexpected as what Gabriel told that aged priest – who could blame him for doubting? Would we do any better?
Zacharias lived with that sad sign for nearly a year – unable to verbally communicate with anyone, including Elisabeth – about the wondrous-ness of what they were experiencing. Talmage refers to him as “highly blessed though sorely smitten”, the penalty for his doubt already operative before he left the temple, and in place till his tongue was loosened on the day of John’s circumcision when he burst forth in prophecy saying among other things “And thou, child, shalt be called the prophet of the Highest: for thou shalt go before the face of the Lord to prepare his ways; to give knowledge of salvation unto his people, by the remission of their sins, through the tender mercy of our God ….” Talmage said “The last words Zacharias had uttered prior to the infliction of dumbness, were words of doubt and unbelief, words in which he had called for a sign as proof of authority of one who came from the presence of the Almighty; the words with which he broke his long silence were words of praise unto God in whom he had ALL assurance …”
Yes, I think there may have been a little ‘shame’ in Zacharias having to live with the consequence of his doubt and challenge to the angel – so unbecoming of someone like himself. And yes, I think there might have been some tears as he confessed to Elisabeth why he had lost his power to speak. How could he not have felt it? But he was a better man than to wallow in it. He had learned a good lesson that I doubt he’d ever forget. He and Elisabeth had nine silent months to draw closer to God and to feel of His great love for them, and to marvel at the fact that they were about to have a son, and not just any son! It’s insightful to consider the humility that would naturally accompany the assignment to parent such a child! Such a privilege. Oh, I am SURE they knew they were loved and trusted – notwithstanding past mistakes.
There may be times in our lives when we’re not our best selves. Times when our faith wavers, when we doubt and question things we never thought we’d doubt or question. Or perhaps someone we love lets us down in the moment they should have done better. I believe Zacharias would have some counsel for us. I believe he would own his ‘moment’ and refer to it as the great lesson it was for him. I’d love to hear his counsel. I believe he would ask us to allow ourselves a little grace, and that he’d reassure us God never stops loving us – even when we have to live out some natural consequences of our actions. “Let God prevail” I think he would say. And surely God WILL prevail.
Thank you Zacharias for moving forward in faith. And for never wavering again. Thank you for telling your story so that Luke could write it down many years later. Thank you for being brave enough to let your weak moment be known, so that we could learn from it, and more understand the nature of God. Thank you for the important role you played in events that you never lived to see transpire. Thank you for living your life in such a way that God chose you to play that role.
Thank you Elisabeth for loving the man that he was, and for being patient in living with the consequence of his mistake, not your own. Thank you for being a true mother in Zion even when you despaired of ever having your own children, and for devoting the rest of your life to raising this one very special son.
Thank you Luke for being kind to Zacharias as you shared his story, and for emphasizing that notwithstanding what we were about to learn about him, he was an exceptionally good and obedient man, walking blameless before the Lord.
Thank you Brother Talmage for feeling a love for Zacharias, and for helping me to see him through a different lens.
I’d love to hear your thoughts Reader, on this great and humble figure in the New Testament – who would have lived his life out in obscurity except for the son he would sire. And of course his one weak moment.
Warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
*quote about Joseph Smith’s heritage found in Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Brigham Young (1997), pg 96. *other quotes found in the chapter reviewed here
At first glance you might think that a simple garden can do little to improve a community, but you’d be wrong. Sometimes, “By small and simple things great things are brought to pass“(1) Through community gardens, neighbourhoods come together, friendships are established, individuals become part of a thing bigger than themselves, and local governments forge new partnerships and connect with their residents. While it isn’t everyone’s cuppa tea, you don’t have to actually ‘garden’ to see the value in it, or to support one. Community gardens are a low cost way to repurpose wasted, unsightly space. What town or city in their right mind would turn down a well thought out plan to create one?
Take Sakaw Gardens for instance, in the heart of Mill Woods. At summer’s end of 2020, community member Myrna Peters pitched her idea of a community garden to those attending an Annual General meeting. Her idea was to use the space of a former ice rink in the nearby school field. It was enthusiastically embraced by the Millhurst Community League. In fact, a garden had been on their radar since a Needs Assessment Survey in 2015 determined that it was the number one choice for using that space. A volunteer willing to head up the project just hadn’t been found.
I was in that meeting – with other masked strangers sitting six feet apart. It was my first AGM for the community league. My interest was piqued – I was intrigued – I was allured – and I was excited about the possibilities – all at the same time. Like others in 2020, I had been feeling some compulsion toward community service, and had reached out – which is why I was in that meeting. But gardening! Gardening was a personal passion.
The stars aligned that day for a lot of people. For Myrna – her idea landed in fertile ground. For the community executive – they finally found a willing volunteer to head up a project they already supported. For me – this was something I already loved. I followed Myrna out to the parking lot, introduced myself, and gave her my phone number. I promised to do what I could to help her.
To say it all fell together would undermine the hundreds of hours of preparatory work that went into getting it off the ground. But there were a lot of things that did come together. First of all, we didn’t have to invent the wheel, we reached out to other community gardens and asked for help. Nearby Ridgewood Gardens freely shared their experience in getting their community garden up and functional. Coordinator Danna Schumann gave us a tour, highlighting their strengths and pitfalls and shared information that assisted us with our application to the city. They were two years ahead of us, so their experience was fresh and helpful. A handful of community members responded to the call, coming forward with skills necessary to get a project like this put together. We established a team, met regularly, applied for grants, coordinated volunteer efforts, jumped through hoops to comply with city requirements, and established friendships.
Two and a half years into our project, we have not only completed our Phase 1 and Phase 2, but are on track to complete Phase 3 by this spring. What are the different Phases? Well, funny you should ask, as I was just about to tell you.
Phase 1 was the garden itself: complete with 35 plots, some inground, some raised beds. Included were two public gardens, a school plot and a Food Bank plot.
Phase 2 began with an orchard including all things “Fruit”. Trees: apple, plum and cherry Bushes: saskatoon, raspberry, currant and gooseberry Plants: rhubarb and strawberry It also included a rabbit fence, a rain roof, a dry creek for runoff, picnic tables and benches, as well as a hardpack crushed limestone path connecting 11a avenue to the garden. We call this PAT’S PATH. And the jewel on Phase 2: six wheelchair garden boxes. We call these PAT’S PLANTERS.
Pat Whaley
Pat Whaley was a long time community volunteer who was a double amputee confined to a wheelchair. She wouldn’t want to defined this way, but it was a fact of her life and it affected every part of it. Pat was present in those early weeks while Myrna’s vision was unveiled, but she stopped Myrna in her tracks when she said “This is so awesome, but I’ll never be able to see it because I’ll never be able to get there.” Funny how one simple statement can stand out and haunt you. It changed everything for Myrna. It changed ‘the vision’. Before that year was over, Pat Whaley left this world for a better one. She left her wheelchair behind, but she’d made her point. It was agreed that a community garden should be INCLUSIVE, and that meant those in wheelchairs or walkers or with other mobility issues should be able to not only “get there“, but should be able to garden. Such is the legacy Pat Whaley left behind.
No doubt Pat looks on from her vantage point and is happy with what she sees. Her wistful comment back in the fall of 2020 inspired changes to the original plan that included six wheelchair accessible garden beds, a hard pack, crushed limestone path connecting the main sidewalk to the garden and winding through the orchard area, wheelchair accessible picnic tables, and swinging gates on our fence. Pat would also be happy to know that our Gazebo (Phase 3 and on schedule to be completed this spring) is at ground level, making it fully accessible by wheelchair.
In honour of Pat Whaley, at of the end of our 2022 season, six wheelchair beds were built, installed and filled.
They are reserved for wheelchair gardeners, and able bodied gardening volunteers stand ready to assist as needed, to make gardening at Sakaw accessible to all – even those in wheelchairs. Thank you Pat. You are remembered. And in response to your desire to partake, we hope to be accessible to others like you.
If you, or someone you know in a wheelchair, thought that eating vegetables you grew yourself was not possible, you were wrong. If you’re in the area, Sakaw Gardens welcomes you. Plots are available now to reserve on a first come basis.
warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
footnotes: 1. Alma 37:6
“a garden can be the salve that heals our hurting communities”
I know some people don’t ‘do’ Santa. I know some who don’t think we should ‘lie’ to our kids (as if Santa was a lie). And I know some who worry that he detracts from the true meaning of Christmas (hey I used to be one of those). And I even know some who think we should get back to the way Christmas was before Santa became ‘the thing‘. But before anyone jumps all over Santa Claus for being the antichrist of Christmas, we should take a little history lesson. Before Clement C. Moore brought St. Nick and children together in 1822, Christmas was hardly even recognized in North America, let alone celebrated.
Here are 10 facts that provide clarity into Santa’s real role in the way western society celebrates Christmas, and why that is a GOOD thing. A surprisingly good thing.
fact 1: December 25 is not the date of Christ’s birth and never pretended to be. It is the date set aside to celebrate His birth – not the same thing. Probably the biggest misunderstood fact of Christmas. It’s alright. Nothing wrong with it not being the actual date, lets just accept it and get on with our celebrations anyway.
fact 2: For centuries pagan religions all over the northern hemisphere celebrated the last half of December because …… , well, …. after the winter equinox, sunlight hours begin to increase. As agricultural cultures, the ‘return of the sun’ was full of hope and promise, effectively putting the dark days of winter behind them. I’m all for that too.
fact 3: In early days of the Christian Church, Rome was already entrenched in the week long celebration of an annual festival dedicated to Saturnaelia (December 17-24). Public places were decorated, gifts were exchanged and the revelry was . . . . W.I.L.D. New Roman Christian converts easily fell back into old pagan habits and customs – when they were as all encompassing as this one. The church didn’t approve of course, but it was a hard tradition to break.
fact 4: In or around the year 125, in an effort to replace the wild celebrations associated with Saturnaelia the second Bishop of Rome declared that the church should set aside a time to recognize the “nativity of our Lord and Saviour”, but as no one knew the actual date, acknowledgement of His birth began on arbitrary ‘guess-dates’, and even then, only half heartedly. It was intended to be a day for quiet reflection. Quiet reflection is a little boring when compared to the celebrations of Saturnalia, so it wasn’t a successful substitution.
fact 5: Approximately two centuries later, the Roman Emperor Constantine the Great, (recently converted himself, and no doubt under pressure from early church leaders to cancel-out the pagan midwinter celebrations), introduced December 25 as an immovable celebration of the “nativity of our Lord”. The timing was deliberate – another attempt to redirect the festivities, and although it might have been a step in the right direction, the nature of the celebration was pretty much the same merrymaking already associated with the winter equinox for so long. No quiet reflection – back to wild abandon. You cannot rule out centuries of established tradition so easily.
fact 6: Midwinter celebrations of one sort or another were everywhere in Europe. Apparently we all like the idea of the days getting longer. In the 1500 and 1600’s of Great Britain for instance, while the name had evolved into a “Christmas” celebration, the pattern was the same drunken week of partying it had been in pre-Christian times. Serious attempts were made to ban – even outlaw the festivities, but in the long run – the tradition was ‘of the people’ and though they had little say in any other affairs of their lives, this particular tradition prevailed – against the best attempts of the church and state to end it.
fact 7: Caroling in the streets was common, but not the way that we practice it today. Old English folk tunes like “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” celebrated the revelry with veiled threats. Large groups of drunken men would go to homes of the wealthy demanding hospitality in the form of food, drink and even money. If homeowners did not comply their residences were looted.
We wish you a merry Christmas, We wish you a merry Christmas We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year Good tidings we bring to you and your kin We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year
Oh, bring us some figgy pudding. Oh, bring us some figgy pudding Oh, bring us some figgy pudding And bring it right here! . . . . . We won’t go until we get some. We won’t go until we get some We won’t go until we get some So bring it right here! Good tidings we bring to you and your kin We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year . . . (wink wink)
Notwithstanding the apparent cheer of “good tidings we bring to you and your kin“, homeowners fully understood the threat of “we won’t go until we get some“.
fact 8: When the Puritans left England and established themselves in the new world, it is no wonder that outlawing Christmas celebrations was one of the first things they did. Who could blame them? Controlling it had proved impossible. Forbidding it from being established in their “New England” society was the only way to stay on top of it. Or so they thought . . . . but with boatloads of immigrants pouring in from Europe over the next century, the laws were eventually ignored and the drunken riots of Christmas Day became an American thing – as well as a British thing.
fact 9: In Germany, acknowledging Christmas Day had evolved very differently than it had in England. It had become a time for gathering family and friends in celebrating the birth of our Saviour. Why did it work there and not in England? Well its anyone’s guess I suppose, but my guess is that since Germany had already separated itself from the Catholic Church, they weren’t involved in the Church’s attempts to make it a sober day of reflection. Instead, it evolved naturally under the influence of Martin Luther’s theological teachings. The facts that Martin Luther was excommunicated from the Catholic Church in 1517, and that the New Testament was published in the German language in 1522 meant that the German people could access the scriptures in their own language earlier than English speaking people could. In any case, they eventually came to mark Christmas Day as a time to acknowledge the nativity of Jesus Christ by sharing food and fellowship with those they loved. It became the second most important religious holy day – following Easter.
fact 10: When Queen Victoria married her German cousin Albert in 1840, he brought with him a German way of celebrating Christmas with family oriented traditions including the Christmas tree and a creche. After centuries of change being forced upon them, the British people began to willingly adopt it through the peaceful, patient and reverent example of the royal family.
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Backing up to sometime in the 10th century, the Byzantine author “Simon of Metaphrastes”, collected and compiled scores of stories about various Catholic saints – including one named Nicholas of Myra, an Archbishop who had lived in the southern part of present day Turkey, sometime during the 4th century. It was Saint Nicholas’ kindness, generosity and love of children that endeared him to the people. The day of his death – December 6, became known as St Nicholas Day, a time when children were often visited and given gifts. As time went on, the reputation of St Nicholas’ Christlike qualities inspired many – one such, being a young man living in what is now the present day Czech Republic. The Bohemian Duke of Borivoy was a devout Christian who put into practice the spirit of Christian charity. Though he lived at a time we now call the dark ages, he wished to reflect God in all that he did. He was murdered at a young age but the legend of his goodness and generosity lived on. 800 years later, an Anglican Priest (and linguist) – John Mason Neale, wrote (or may have translated from Czech) a beautiful Christmas Carol – “Good King Wenceslas” which extends the legend of the Bohemian Duke into our time. It was a song well known when I was a child, and it was a personal favourite of mine. I always hoped there really was such a person as the good king.
an interesting explanation of the origins of the beloved carol Good King Wenceslas
Almost every European country eventually came up with their own version of St Nicholas, visiting children and leaving gifts, including the English Father Christmas.
Where actual truth and legend intersect in each account of a benevolent Christmas ‘man’, is impossible to know. Such is the nature of time and legends. But collectively they help us understand the extraordinary character of the being who eventually morphed into our present day Santa Claus. In 1808 American author Washington Irving, wrote about the Dutch Sinterklaas, who dressed in typical Dutch clothes with knee britches and a broad brimmed hat. He travelled in a flying horse drawn wagon, dropping gifts down chimneys.
No doubt knowing the legend of Sinterklass, another American author from New York wrote a fanciful poem for his children about what happened one Christmas Eve while they were sleeping (dreaming about sugar plums). He wrote it in 1822, calling it “A Visit from St Nicholas“. One year later a friend released it to a newspaper for others to enjoy, but Clement C. Moore declined to have his name published with it, worried how it would be received with his academic and religious credentials. He didn’t publicly ‘own’ authorship till 1844, but in those twenty plus years, his description of what happened during the night before Christmas had affected the way Americans celebrated the holiday. With hardly even mentioning ‘children’, he made Christmas all about them, and from him, we learned what St Nicholas looked like and dressed like. We learned that he smoked a pipe. We learned that he gained entry into the house through the chimney (clever). We learned that he arrived in a flying sleigh, powered by eight magical reindeer. We even learned all of their names. Suddenly, Moore created a physical persona based on a little known old-world saint who, folklore taught, was kind and charitable, and gave gifts to children. And, he brought him to New York! The rest – as they say, became the stuff of legends. The time was right. Over the following decades, Christmas evolved from a holiday characterized by drinking and riots into a day of family and giving.
And while all this revelatory information was taking root in America, Victoria’s England was finally ready for a Christmas revelation of their own, through another beloved author – Charles Dickens. In December of 1843, A Christmas Carol was published. Though it wasn’t a financial success, it literally changed the way Great Britain celebrated Christmas. Between Queen Victoria’s example of reverence for the season, and the transformatory story of Ebeneezer Scrooge, the ground was ripe and ready to harvest. Almost two centuries later, neither story has ever left publication, and during that time – the spirit of love, kindness and charity has ruled over the previous drunken parties of yesteryear.
Of the Christmas pudding, “Bob Cratchit said, and calmly too, that he regarded it as the greatest success achieved by Mrs. Cratchit since their marriage.”
Though Mrs. Cratchit’s Christmas goose and pudding suggest those dishes were the typical Christmas menu for Londoners, it only became so because Dickens implied it already was.
Through Fred’s veneration of Christmas we might believe he spoke for all Londoners when he testified “I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time when it has come round, …. as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!” This is the perfect example of how ‘art’ made the world a better place. After 1843, Londoners began celebrating Christmas the way Dickens said they already did.
It was upon this fertile ground that Scrooge and Santa literally changed the way we celebrate Christmas. They may have stood on the shoulders of German Lutherans and St Nicholas to do so, but it is to them that we owe the charitable, increased Christlike love we feel this time of year. Rather than wanting to go back to a ‘simpler time’ before Santa squeezed in, I hope we give him the credit he’s due. He in fact, is the emissary of the REAL meaning of Christmas in North America. Throughout all those dark centuries of apostasy, the light of Christ lived on – a spark here and a spark there, that made the world they lived in a better place, not only while they lived, but through the stories that were told about them long after they died. It was a slow revelation to me as a young mother. I was suspicious of Santa’s motives at first, and I worried he’d harm my children’s outlook, but I’ve since learned to appreciate his unique role, and be grateful for him. I see him now as an instrument, used to flame the light of Christ that had never disappeared, but had previously grown dim from time to time. The pairing of the nativity of Jesus Christ with the ungodly midwinter festivities of days gone by, may have been a mean joke of the adversary in the beginning, but as always – God is in the details, and He prevails.
With the commercialization of Christmas those living in North America and England got a chance to experience the real meaning of Christmas. Santa put an end to the drunken Christmas riots of pre-Victorian England and America. He started appearing everywhere: stores, street corners, displays, etc. Presents and decorating trees became important traditions, and Christmas slowly became an official holiday in many American states. Churches began to open their doors for believers to worship, sing about Christ’s birth, and to celebrate. Ironically, with the introduction of Santa and Scrooge, Christ was finally welcomed to Christmas. So lets give Santa a break. We owe him a LOT. He did more to bring the Savior BACK into Christmas than he ever did to discourage our remembrance of Him. Santa Claus rocks!
Coming from “a long line of believers” I hope I imparted some of that to my kids growing up. He is real. Yes, there comes a time when Santa changes. Just a little. Not in the way he looks, or in those things that people most commonly say about him. But in the twinkling of an eye, he literally transforms from the Santa you thought he was, to the Santa he’s been all along – which much to your surprise, may be better than you even dreamed. And then you can spend the rest of your life believing in him – as I have. And wanting those you love to believe in him too.
Merry Christmas Friends!
Cindy Suelzle
ps – it warms my heart to know that a few of our best loved European Christmas hymns were written in the 1700’s, evidence that though the masses had not embraced a more Christ-centered Christmas, there were some who did – according to the dictates of their own conscience. Further evidence that though dim, the light of Christ shone through it all.
Face it – by the end of August, we cannot deny the inevitable any longer. Growth has slowed down, fruit and vegetables are ripening, plants are drying out and going to seed. They’re all doing what nature intends for us all to do at certain times – get ready for bed.
In the spring, we’re all excited about our gardens, but tucking our gardens in for the winter is an important step that is often missed entirely. When the weather gets colder and things stop growing, we lose interest in being in the garden, but missing this final seasonal detail is a mistake. It’s tempting to be a bit lazy, and I get it. Its dark earlier, weather isn’t great, dead and dying perennials are kinda hard to get excited about. But don’t fall for it. Your garden NEEDS you. Putting your garden to bed is an important step in it’s health next spring. Come on, give yourself one more final push, then you can both rest in the winter – guilt free.
There have been years I’ve tried extending the season by planting things like spinach at the end of August hoping for a late crop. There have been years I’ve tried to extend the season by heating the greenhouse into the fall. But the simple truth is, we don’t have the sun for it in Alberta. In September, we have the same amount of sun as we do in March. No matter how many nights you heat the greenhouse in September, you cannot fake the sun during the day, and plants need sun. You’d have more success extending the season by planting earlier in the season than you would extending the season in the fall. Winter has its purpose, it isn’t the great enemy of gardeners that we sometimes make it out to be. My opinion? Give it up. Let fall be fall. And get on with your life. BUT. Put your garden to bed first! So you can both rest comfortably.
late summer bouquet
What to get rid of and what not to get rid of? That is the question.
By September, there are always a bunch of dead and dying plants, some that seem to be coming into their own, and of course lots of weeds going to seed. Some gardeners follow the philosophy of clearing everything out and leaving a nice tidy garden bed. I don’t have anything quite so tidy as a “garden bed” in my yard. I have lots of planted space but its not all together. I have perennial flower beds on all four sides of the house, sunny flower beds, shady flower beds, some flower beds under trees, some tucked into shady corners. I have repurposed horse troughs, a currant patch, rhubarb patch, raspberry patch, grapes, fruit trees dispersed throughout, a dedicated herb garden and three raised beds for edibles, with edibles planted here and there among flowers and herbs. There are still tomatoes trying to ripen and root vegetables that are doing just fine where they are for now. Every garden has its own needs. But there are some rules of thumb that I apply to all.
1. Clean up
There is plenty of debate in this area ranging all the way from getting rid of everything to leaving it all for spring clean up, and everywhere in between. I’ve listened to much of it, applied the counsel that made sense to me, and in the end, I’ve come up with my own pattern that I’m happy with. Truth is however, that sometimes life gets in the way, and you simply don’t ‘get to it’ in time. Don’t beat yourself up when that happens; there will be other years to do it better. But for now, here’s the ‘general’ plan. Keep in mind that life is about compromise and there are exceptions to every rule.
First of all get rid of the dead stuff. That’s a natural. For the most part: if its dead pull it out. Throw it into the compost. exceptions: If some of the weeds have roots or seeds or perhaps a plant has a disease – you don’t want to risk taking that into next year by putting them into your backyard compost, so either get rid of them in *the garbage or *Burn them! Otherwise, into the compost they go. (for more information on backyard composting click here) If it’s a perennial that has died back, cut it off at the ground.
Annuals are easy. Just pull them out and throw them into the compost. Most of the time, I throw big piles of compostables on the lawn. We mow them up and throw them into the compost, or into some of the beds that could use them. When I say ‘we’, I mean of course ‘Dan’. Getting rid of dead plants and other debris removes winter shelter for pests, preventing future problems next spring. There are some diseases that can overwinter. You don’t want that lingering over into a fresh new start in the spring time; if there is disease – get it outta there. Getting rid of weeds at the end of the season gets rid of their seeds and roots, reducing their annoyance next spring. Yes I know they’re no longer visibly causing a problem, but they’re going to seed or developing strong root systems (sneaky little jerks), so get rid of them.
RULE: *Healthy plants – even weeds – compost them. In my books there are good weeds and bad weeds. Good weeds to me, are weeds that we eat and that I don’t mind propagating next year, like chickweed and lambs quarters. (see Making Friends with your Weeds) Bad weeds are stupid weeds like Trailing Bellflower (devil-weed), or rooty weeds like dandelions, horse radish, and thistle – those I do not compost. Or other weeds that make a lotta seeds. Yes I know that compost may take care of most of these problems . . . but I usually don’t risk it. There are very few plants I feel the need to eradicate, so I’m not gonna waste time feeling guilty about them. They should feel guilty for disappointing me so much. *Unhealthy plants – get rid of them. No exceptions. And not into your compost.
Remove tender summer-flowering bulbs such as dahlias and store them in your cold room or garage for planting next season. I personally have never brought my dahlias in for the winter, I just buy more in the spring, but this year I am in love with the dahlias I grew, so I’m gonna give it a try. Besides, I figure since I fuss for my geraniums, it can’t be much different. (see below for the geraniums)
But what about the plants that are not dead? I cannot bear to kill things that want to live so much that they thrive in the inhospitable dryness, reduced light and chilly nights of early fall. Those are the things I don’t get rid of. I still water them when needed and in return, they do what they do best – gladden my heart. They will die on their own when the cold of late October makes it impossible for them to do otherwise. I leave them where they are because they will trap snow which will protect all around them, and help with needed moisture when the snow melts in the spring.
There are also good bugs that need shelter in the winter, like lady bugs and their friends. So don’t clear everything out, find some balance.
RULE: get rid of the uglies – keep the beautiful; get rid of the sick and dead – keep the healthy and strong
2. Fall Planting
Fall planting is a way of taking advantage of the earliest that spring has to offer. SPINACH: Planting spinach in the fall before the snow flies, should give you an early yield. Select a spot that is protected, but that will get good sun in April and May. Lightly sow a patch of spinach. Throughout the winter, ensure it has a good covering of snow. When the warmth of April days melts the snow in some nice sunny spots, your spinach seed will sprout. They are not afraid of cold. They’ll just patiently wait till conditions are better and then start growing again.
DILL, POPPIES, CALENDULA and other herb and flower seeds can be sown at the time of harvest to pop up in the earliest days of May. Simply broadcast them in your desire spots and let nature do what she does best. The seeds need a winter, and protective snow.
Some plants that inadvertently get left in the garden, may resurrect in the spring. My rule of thumb is to let most things that want to grow – grow. You may have a sage plant that comes back, lemon balm, parsley, even kale. You may have volunteer lettuce plants start to grow because something went to seed last fall.
GARLIC: Plant your garlic before the ground freezes to harvest at the end of next summer.
Spring Bulbs. Yes I know fall is the time to plant daffodils and more tulips etc for spring blooms. I’m sorry. I’ve got nothing to offer here. I aspire to plant more bulbs in the fall, but its just one thing that I rarely find time for.
3. Bring them in
Some plants might be healthy enough to bring indoors. I always bring in some geraniums (see below), and often bring in a rosemary plant. I’ve tried lots of other herbs, but I simply don’t have the sun for them. If you have a beautiful sunny window, I strongly encourage giving them a try indoor. Prune down to about 1/2 its original size, trimming off everything brown. Shake the old soil off to get rid of any unwelcome hitch hikers, and maybe even rinse the roots off. Then replant in fresh soil, water well and set in your sunniest window.
GERANIUMS. I love geraniums, and they love me back. Red ones. Only red ones. I’ve tried other colours, but I kept coming back to red, and now I don’t bother with any other colour when I know that it’s red I really want. Their bright vibrant flowers cheer me all spring and summer long. At the end of it, I cannot bear to kill them, or let them them die while they’re still trying so hard to make the world a better place. So I bring them inside. In actual fact, though we think of them as annuals, geraniums are actually ‘tender’ perennials, and will tolerate temperatures down to about 7°C while still actively growing. That is truly heroic. Another reason I love them. I’ll bring two or three into the house and let them live in a sunny window all winter long. Their favourite temperature is between 12°- 18°C, which is ideal for in-house if you’ve got enough light. However, I find that in the winter even though I have a south facing bay window, winter sun is just not very impressive and they stop flowering shortly after they get moved inside. And by about January they start to get quite ‘leggy’. I just trim them as needed to try to keep them content. Its the least I could do for all the joy they bring me outside for five months.
geraniums at season’s end, still being beautiful
But I cannot invite all my geraniums into the living room, so I do something else. I put my three wooden window boxes in the garage. Ours is a heated garage though its usually pretty chilly out there. We only turn the furnace on when Dan’s working on a project, but apparently it fine for geraniums. Before a killer frost (so sometime mid to late September), I will hard prune the plants by about one third to one half, removing any dead, damaged or unhealthy parts. I check for stupid aphids (I hate aphids) or other problem critters or disease. I water deeply, then I put them up on a shelf in the garage, kinda out of the way but not so much out of the way that I forget they’re there.
I give them a drink of water a few times – maybe every 4-6 weeks. If they’re too outta sight, I’ll forget to water them, and even though they’re mostly dormant, they still need a little moisture now and again. By about March they start responding to the little bit of light they get from a frosted window and miraculously they start to green up. I am always amazed that they do this, and I regard it as one of nature’s miracles. It’s still cold outside, with snow and ice, but they start being true to their calling in life. March has about the same amount of sun as September. I take this new growth as a sign to give them more to drink. By mid April, I can start letting them sit outside on nice days, giving them more water. This gradually gets them used to outdoor light and regular watering. I don’t put them outside permanently till after May 1, and even after that I put a cloth over top if I expect freezing night time temperatures. I can’t risk losing them that late in the game.
I trim them back as needed, give them some healthy mulch and all purpose fertilizer, and we go right back to being old friends. They’re grateful to be back in their rightful place, and I’m grateful to have them. They resume bringing me joy, and I resume my supportive role as their care-giver.
Some garden herbs: I’ve tried pretty much all herbs in the house for winter and I just don’t have enough light, even with my south facing bay window. Yes, I know I can use grow lights, but most of my plants are in the living room, and I don’t want grow lights in there all winter long. There are some though, that seem to do better than others.
*ROSEMARY: I often bring a rosemary plant indoors. In fact for several years I’ve kept one in a pot that I moved in and out, but eventually I lost it by letting it dry out. It’s surprising how much water herbs require in the dry climate of a house in winter. If you have a particularly happy healthy rosemary plant, go ahead and dig it up. Trim it down by about half, remove the soil and gently rinse off the plant and roots. Be sure the pot is clean, and you’re using fresh soil, then transplant into its new home and bring it inside. Keep it in the sunniest spot and water when the soil surface feels dry to the touch.
*BAY LAUREL: I have a bay laurel plant I bring in and out and in and out, for about 8 years now. I am very invested in keeping this plant safe. I had a couple near misses this last year with it, but we weathered the storm together. I keep it in the same pot, so I’m not digging it up, but this year I was particularly careful about cleaning it. I trimmed all the ‘iffy’ branches or leaves (anything that wasn’t pristine), removed it from its pot, removed all the soil, gently rinsed the roots of all old soil and washed the pot. Then I transplanted it back into its original but cleaned up pot, and brought it back inside. It’s very happy.
*CUBAN OREGANO: Unlike regular oregano cuban oregano won’t survive our winter, so its best suited in a pot where it can come inside for the winter. Give it a sunny spot and it’s an easy-to-grow house plant that will be your friend for years with just a little care and attention. A member of the mint family, and often referred to as Mexican mint, it has characteristic thick, fuzzy leaves with a strong pleasing odor. Water when the soil surface feels dry to the touch.
4. gleaning – the final harvest
It’s true that in Sept and October, late fruits and vegetables are ready to harvest. Root crops like carrots, beets and potatoes; fruits like apples, plums and grapes. Some apples and plums may be ready in August, others in September or October. Generally, the grapes we grow in the Edmonton area are ready in September after the weather cools a little.
*BUT – There are hidden harvests that often get missed. Just open your eyes.
Gardens don’t cease to bless your lives just because its autumn.
dill seed ready to harvest
If you grew DILL this year, you probably have some that has gone to seed. Go get it. Pull the plant out of the ground, cut the head off and put it in a bowl. Shake or brush the seeds off the plant into the bowl. Broadcast a handful where you want dill next year, and gather the rest to save for more deliberate planting in the spring. Yes, there are many ways to use it in the kitchen if you have enough. I’ll admit it, I rarely allow my dill to go to seed, except for a few delegated plants off to the side. I do this because aphids usually accompany dill when it goes to seed, and I hate aphids. But this year, I had a ton of dill – way way way over planted. I picked all the green ferny dill weed that I could use, gave plenty away, and still had too many dill plants all going to seed at the same time. I watched for aphids but didn’t see anything excessive. I let them ripen, ever watchful, but I never saw a problem, so I proceeded. Lucky me, I got lots of dill seed to grow next year, and lots to bring into the house. Store your seed in a paper envelop, labelled and dated.
POPPIES. If you’re not growing poppies you’re missing out on one of nature’s loveliest offerings. Beautiful before they flower. Gorgeous iconic papery flowers. And just as beautiful in the late summer after they’ve gone to seed. You’ll know the seed is ripe when you can hear it rattle inside the seed pod. At that point, pull the plant out of the ground and turn upside down into a bowl. Shake the seeds out. Broadcast the seed from two or three heads at most (that’s a LOT of poppies) where you want them to grow next year, and save the rest for poppy seed bread, muffins, cake, cookies and salad dressing. BEANS and peas that didn’t get picked in time, are ripening and drying. When they’re fully developed, pick them and store them for seed next year, in a marked and dated paper envelop or lunch bag. CHIVES and GARLIC CHIVES have gone to seed, producing thousands of little black seeds. You can let them fall and have a million little chive plants growing everywhere next year, or you can harvest the seed to sprinkle on bread or over top other dishes. *hint: they’re entirely edible, but don’t expect too much in the way of flavour. GARLIC. Mid September is the time to harvest garlic, and to plant more. KALE is planted in various places throughout my yard. In the vegetable garden, in the rhubarb patch, the asparagus patch, and interspersed among perineal flowers and herbs. A few here and a few there. One or two act as a trap crop for annoying pests – thank you for your sacrifice. They’ll get eaten by chickens (who bytheway enjoy annoying pests). Don’t worry, I’ve got others. Kale is hardy, and even in September, it’s on stage doing a full encore. Beautiful. How can you not love kale? I pick it every few days to add to dinner, and if I pick more than we need, I dehydrate it. Super simple. Just strip leaves off the stems, wash and chop to put in the dehydrator. When dry, store in a jar to use all winter long. This spring I had an unexpected surprise. A kale plant over wintered and started producing harvestable kale by mid May. I let it do its own thing and as time when on, it began to flower and go to seed. So by September I have a lot of beautiful ripe kale seed in pods. A gift. NASTURTIUMS have been giving all season long. But as much as I used their greens and flowers, some flowers always get left behind to go to seed. This is good, as I am all about collecting seed right now. SWEET PEAS are annual climbing flowers, that are so bright and cheerful, and hardy that they can be friends with everyone. I’ve always thought they should be spring or at least early summer flowers, but they do best, as summer progresses into August. They’ll go to seed if you let the last few flowers ripen. Easy to collect. I highly recommend starting them in-doors well ahead of growing season. This year (2022) is the first year I’ve let mine go to seed so that I can plant inside next April. The pods look very similar to pea pods (who’d suspected right? lol), and as they ripen the seeds are so perfect that it would have been a shame not to collect them. Having said that, if you wait to long, they’ll open and drop their seeds, but I have yet to have had one survive the winter and volunteer in the spring. SUNFLOWERS are ripening. Cut the smaller flowers for kitchen bouquets, but let the bigger ones ripen. If the seeds are still immature (white), but a nice size, bring them in, they’re delicious in salads and stir fries as a vegetable. If they’re big heads, share some with the birds over the winter. I leave them face up in several different places throughout the yard where wild birds like to hang out when its cold. Our favourite place is just outside our kitchen window where we can enjoy watching them all winter long. Its a win-win.
Lots of herbs are still doing beautifully, but its time to cut them down for the last time and bring them in for winter use. Sage, rosemary, tarragon, stevia, mint of course, lemon balm, oregano, thyme, parsley, lemon verbena, . . . My lavender gave me some late sprigs to add to what has already been harvested. Thank you Lavender.
Look around you – there is more bounty than you may have expected.
5. Mulch and other ‘protection‘
Everybody likes a comfy blanket. In gardens we call it ‘mulch’.
homemade patchwork quilt
My mom, throwing an additional blanket over top of me in bed on a cold winter’s night, is a comforting childhood memory. It provided a little weight, and that weight provided warmth.
Our gardens would appreciate an additional insulating blanket against the harshness of winter too. Some plants might be a little sensitive to the bitter cold of some winters that we have no control over and cannot always predict, but sometimes its simply a matter of protecting the bare soil and friendly critters in it. What kind of blanket? Nice clean fallen leaves that are so plentiful in the fall, is a perfect mulch. Between one to three inches is recommended. In the absence of leaves, the final mowing of dried grass would be good, or chopped/mowed up straw. Don’t use wood chips in the garden; they detract from the soil long before they can possibly add to it.
In addition to protecting the soil and plants in it, mulch slowly adds nutrients and humus. Humus is the Latin world for ‘earth’ or ‘ground. It refers to that dark organic matter in soil which comes from the decomposition of plants and animal matter. That a good thing because it improves soil structure, aeration, and water holding capabilities. Aeration reduces the compaction of soil, allowing roots to take up nutrients and spread out healthily.
Leaves or straw won’t magically disappear over the winter, miraculously becoming humus. Some of it will still be quite identifiable as leaves and straw in the spring, but some (the bottom layer) has begun to decompose. I simply rake off the identifiables and mow them up with the first mowings of spring to be used to as a top layer in an area I want to amend, as mulch between rows, or the beginning of this year’s compost. A good winter’s mulch is a beautiful start in prepping your soil for spring. Just sayin’ . . . . .
winter protection from foraging animals
Most urban yards don’t suffer too much from animals like deer foraging over the winter, but rabbits can be a problem. They ate the bark from my daughter’s lilac tree a few winters ago, and killed it. If you live in an area where rabbits might be an issue for you, wrap the bottom three or four feet loosely with chicken wire. Why so high? When the snow is deep and the rabbit is sitting on top of the snow, that is where they’ll be nibbling.
tips to remember 1. Disease is not something you want to add to your compost. Get rid of those plants. Either burn them or garbage them. 2. Roots like trailing bell flower, horse radish and dandelion, and seeds like thistle are not things you want in your compost. Get rid of them. Either burn them or garbage them. 3. Its helpful to mow up your bigger pieces before putting them into your compost. This speeds up the process of breaking down, a good thing.
6. Watering trees in late autumn keeps them healthy and strong
clockwise from upper left: Red Elderberry, Spruce, Honeycrisp Apple, Evans Sour Cherry
While your trees are dropping their leaves, or just after, they would appreciate a good long drink. Give both evergreen and deciduous trees a long, slow, deep watering. This is important, but the timing is particular. Too early might signal the tree toward new growth and may slow the onset of dormancy. Dormancy is not a light switch, it is a progressive stage allowing trees to prepare for colder weather and eventual freeze up. Too late (after the ground freezes) prevents the water from seeping into the soil and reaching the feeder roots. How will you know when the time is right? Look to your trees. Deciduous (leafy) trees will tell you the time is right when their leaves have fallen. This will also be your hint to water their neighbours, the evergreen trees. Because evergreens don’t go into full dormancy, they will actively use water throughout the year, except for when its really cold, so its even more important that they get a good watering in the fall.
Don’t water mature trees right up near the trunk, as the roots that need water will be further out – closer to where the canopy of the tree extends. The exception to this rule is newly planted trees who’s roots might still be close to the initial root ball.
Put your hose on the ground and water slowly so that the water doesn’t puddle on the surface. You’re looking to moisten the top foot of soil around the perimeter of the ‘drip line’ (distance from the trunk to as far as the outside branches reach). “Moisten” does not mean “soggy”. Testing the moisture level is easy – insert a wooden stick or a metal rod into the soil. Where the soil is moist, the stake should slide in easily. When it meets with resistance, that signifies to you that the soil is dry. You’re looking for about a foot of moistened soil. Anything deeper is of no value and is wasted.
Watering earlier in the day gives the roots time to absorb the moisture before the temperature drops at night.
Bonus tip 1. Protect your garden tools and equipment
Hold on! You’re not done yet. I know its tempting to just go inside when the cold hits and shut the door, but pay attention to your tools. They deserve it. Whether you have a garden shed or space in the garage, or box in the basement – use it. Don’t leave your clippers or spade outside to rust.
Tools: Clean them and put them in a box. Seed trays and pots: Wash them and store them where they’ll be easy to retrieve in the late winter or early spring when you’ll need them. Maintenance: Now is the time to fix those annoying little things that have needed patching all summer long.
Bonus tip 2. Garden journal
Hopefully you’ve been keeping a garden journal all along, but if you haven’t right now would be a good time to start one. Record the dates you harvested this or that, and the general yield. Record the temperatures in these close out days for reference next year. Record the seeds you harvested. Make sure you store them in paper envelopes, labelled and dated. Record your successes and failures and your ideas for fixing them next year – while they’re still fresh in your mind. I promise you will not remember them otherwise. Record what varieties did well, and what did not, what you’ll be sure to repeat and what you will not. Maybe you are an avid journaler, maybe you’re more of a casual note taker, but whatever you are – DO SOMETHING. I promise you’ll be happy you did when you go to reference it next spring.
stand back and enjoy the immense satisfaction of a “job well done” . . .
In my case its a challenge to even know where to begin when its time to wrap things up for the season. I rarely have two or three days that I can devote to the work of putting my garden to bed, and my ‘gardens’ are all over the yard, full of perennials. I catch a few hours here and there to go out and work, but the job is pretty overwhelming when you’re doing it in pieces. I find the only way I can proceed with any feeling of accomplishment is if I start in one corner and proceed in a single direction. ‘Finishing a piece’ with no intention of coming back to it till spring, helps me systematically make it through the whole yard.
Standing back to admire what you’ve done once in awhile is satisfying. Standing back when you’re ALL done, is immensely satisfying, but the truth is, there are seasons, that I never completely make it through the whole yard. Yes, I wish I had, but life simply gets busy and sometimes the snow comes before I am ready for it. Nothing to do in that case, but get on with my life, and try to do better next year.
*hint: don’t wait till its COLD and the job is horrible. On September 1, you KNOW cold days are coming. Start the job of putting your garden to bed while the weather is still pleasant – removing (or pruning back) those plants that have already given you everything they have to give, and deserve their rest.
Good Night Garden. Enjoy your rest. I’ll enjoy mine.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences about getting your garden ready for bed and tucking it in for the winter, as well as your comments on some of the things discussed here.
I decided to wait a few months before we revisited the concept. 
They get it. They know exactly where he is, and even all the cousins know about their older cousin who none of them met (at least not here). How grateful I am that families are eternal and that we know Samuel is not lost to us, and we’re not lost to him.
Everyday Emergency – Day 7 (of 7) : Act of Service 
Even in our busiest moments, we can spread kindness and the spirit of preparedness. Share your act of service and the impact it had on YOU in the comments below or in our facebook group. Let’s close this challenge week with a reminder that preparedness is not just about self-reliance, it’s also about the strength of our collective community. 
