“Use it up, wear it out. Make it do, or do without.”
For most of our married life – we’ve adhered to a continuous routine of fixing up our world as we could afford it. Our agreed upon routine has been one INDOOR project a year (usually done in the winter), and one OUTDOOR project a year (usually done in the summer). There’s never been a shortage of projects, and they move up and down the priority list according to need and affordability at the time.
This year our big indoor project was to refinish our dining room table. It had been moving up the list for a long time, well worn from 24 years of heavy use. Unfortunately, the time we chose ended up being the coldest weeks of the year – so opening the windows to get some air became a sketchy thing, but we had to a couple of times! The stain smell became very strong that we opened a few windows in -40C temperatures for a few hours to get rid of the worst of it, while Gramma Great watched tv in front of the woodstove downstairs.
As soon as the Christmas decorations were put away, we cleared the table, set in all four leaves and began a job we’d been putting off for years: that of refinishing our well worn oak table. We were nervous as heck which is why we procrastinated for a decade. But we’d collected advice and courage long enough – while our table continued to collect more scratches and worn areas – letting us know it needed a major face lift. Thank goodness it was only the top that needed attention.
Step 1 – Borrowing a friend’s super-duper sander/vacuum system, Dan sanded the top. That was the only area that needed refinishing. He did it in the house – right there in the dining area. We thought we’d need to hand plastic sheeting everywhere but as I said that sander was of the ‘super-duper’ variety, and it was fabulous.
Step 2 – We took a leaf to into a paint shop, trying to match the colour with stain. The leaf had the original colour still in the facing under the top. Step 3 – With the help and encouragement of a talented friend, Dan applied the stain. But the colour was toooooo ‘red’ for me. Argh. Step 4 – Back to the paint store to ‘brown up’ the stain colour. They did a great job. Step 5 – Dan applied another coat of stain but sadly, didn’t apply it evenly enough which resulted in some splotches. We tried to fix them up by applying another coat but that didn’t work. By this time we were into a week or working on it – around our regular working / living obligations. I knew I wouldn’t be happy with it. Argh again.
Step 6 – Re-sand the whole stupid thing and start over. As frustrating as that it, I have learned with many other projects over the years, sometimes that is the ONLY way – and it’s far better to concede sooner than later. Step 7 – Re-stain. But this time we did it together. Working quickly and efficiently together, we covered the table beautifully. Step 8 – Still, a few uneven spots. Our friend and neighbour came back to assess and advise us. Back to the paint store to buy a matching stain in a spray bottle. We lightly touched up the spots. Wow! Great stuff.
Step 9 – Applied the first coat of Varathane – with our friend. We let it dry, then I lightly buffed with fine steel wool. We applied another layer, and let it dry – then lightly buffed again with steel wool. One more coat, let it dry – then gently rubbed with a piece of brown paper to smooth out the finished job.
Step 10 – We brought out our well worn chairs and after rubbing with steel wool, I gently sprayed the seats with our matching stain. Let dry, then smoothed with the steel wool again and applied a coat of Varathane.
It was a happy day to let the whole project harden over night, then removes some leaves to clear out the kitchen area. I happily vacuumed well, handwashed the floor and tucked the chairs around.
Done. Two full weeks later! So happy we finally DID it, and now its behind us. I still have three more chairs to finish, but that’ll be a piece of cake in the next week or so.
Not looking forward to the first scratch, but I’m resigned to it happening. And I have full confidence that we’ll be able to touch up as needed with the tools and confidence that we now have at our finger tips.
Our first grandchild was born twenty two years ago yesterday. A grandson. His name is Samuel Raymond Daniel Burgess.
He didn’t stay here very long, only a few days. His destiny was different than many of ours. His was to gain a body and belong to a family. He accomplished both of those and then went back to heaven. I like to think he interacted with our other grandchildren before they left their heavenly home, and that he currently enjoys the company of his several great grandparents and a favourite uncle who live there now too.
We think of him often and wonder what life is like where he lives, but we never wonder IF he lives. We appreciate this week especially. It was a difficult time for his young mom and dad, but at the same time it was a privilege. Some babies are just like that. Spirits too special to stay here.
I have a stone from his grave displayed on a shelf in my living room. Its been there these 22 years. I have his name written on it and his birth date and death date. I called it Samuel’s rock. When his younger sister was little I would ask her from time to time (wanting to remind her about heaven and angels and such) “Olivia, where is Samuel?” She would go and get the rock.
I would say “No, this is a rock. Samuel lives in heaven.”
Then a few days later I would ask her again “Where is Samuel Olivia?” She would go and get the rock, and I would repeat “No, this is a rock. Samuel lives in heaven.”
And so it would go, eventually I hoped to solicit a response like “Samuel lives in heaven.”
One day I asked “Olivia, where is Samuel?”
She responded dismissively “Oh, he’s a rock.” I decided to wait a few months before we revisited the concept.
She and her younger siblings have it down pat by now. They get it. They know exactly where he is, and even all the cousins know about their older cousin who none of them met (at least not here). How grateful I am that families are eternal and that we know Samuel is not lost to us, and we’re not lost to him.
We are family. And that means, that through the atonement of Jesus Christ, we can live together again as families.
In the meantime, Happy 22th Birthday Sammy. If you were here, I have no doubt you’d laugh a lot with your younger siblings. They’re a hoot. But perhaps you chuckle with them even now, from your current vantage point. And probably roll your eyes a little at their shannanaggins. Like me.
Warmly,
Gramma Suelzle January 2024
PS I so appreciate the beautiful heartfelt words of someone who has gone through something deeply personal and moving. And I appreciate their willingness to share those sentiments so that others can feel the spirit of them – speaking right to, and right ‘from’ their own hearts. With that in mind, included here are the beautiful lyrics to a song written and recorded by Larry Pearson and Marie Pearson. Chosen by Samuel’s parents, and sung at his funeral by friend Leanne Smetaniuk, accompanied by friend Linda Purnell. Thank you Larry and Marie (brother and sister bytheway).
To Let Your Son Go Ever since I held him close and saw that tiny face I believed I understood why I’m in this place. Birth is but a letting go from the arms of God, But every tear of mine I’ve shed – When I had to give him back again.
Maybe someday I will understand, But if he’s not in my arms, then at least I’m sure He’s home within yours.
And within his newborn eyes, I’m sure I saw a light An angel as a living soul, too perfect for this life. I never knew what miracles I’d know because of him; If I knew how it would end – I still would go through everything again. He left Your home, then he left my own. I guess You know what it is really like – To let Your son go.
Please here my prayer, heal me now in my deepest need. Cause it’s enough to help me through To know the one who understands – is You.
He left Your home, Then he let my own. I guess You know what it is really like – To let Your son go.
the CD “One by One” by the Pearsons, produced cc 1998. I am sharing this image in the hopes that perhaps you might be able to find it one day either in the original CD, or Spotify or YouTube or wherever. It was independently done and I’ve looked in vain on line for any version that I could share with you here. Well worth the effort if you can find it.
note from Cindy: Let me introduce my friend Sandi. I’ve known her for about 20 years and in the last few years, as I’ve learned more about WHO she really is, we’ve become quite close. I have tremendous respect for her, to the point that I think she’s a real live super hero (not all superheroes wear capes you know). Sandi came to Edmonton from southern BC, as an 18 year old for a job with ETS (Edmonton Transit System) in their book-keeping department. It was an exciting time despite the homesickness that naturally came being so far away from all that was familiar, and though she didn’t know a soul before arriving, she made a life for herself.
Flash forward these many years later, through lots of ups and downs, including a failed marriage that blessed her with two children, now grown up and much loved grandchildren. She raised her kids on her own, a single mother with no local support system, in the days before daycare subsidies. There were often tough, tough choices to make. Sometimes daycare expenses were as high as rent, and some of those choices were between groceries and childcare, but childcare enabled to her go to work, which paid the rent . . . . so food insecurity became a constant companion.
25 years ago, she started a side business helping other ETS employees with their tax returns, to be able to afford necessities that her current income didn’t allow, and to have some needed financial flexibility. To build herself a ‘community’, she volunteered wherever she saw the opportunity – often bringing her kids.
She wears many hats these days: an administrator (City of Edmonton), a personal tax specialist, a Bookkeeper, a chief trustee (Civic Service Union 52), a board member (ABCU Credit Union), a Thrive Life Consultant, an active church member, an active member of her community league, and a VOLUNTEER many times over. She grows a garden at home, and is actively involved in her local community garden. She helps her neighbours. Okay but that’s not what I want to tell you. That’s just all the preface to this: Sandi is out of debt. Now that in itself may not amaze you, but there was a time when she in her own words, ‘had more credit card debt than she earned in two years’. Yikes. I fear there are many who can relate to that kind of bondage. She went from there to being completely debt free other than her mortgage – which is under control and nearing its last days. For this reason, I think most of us can learn a lot from her.
It should be of no surprise to learn that one of her volunteer positions is the Food Bank facilitator in her local Community Garden. In the growing and harvest seasons of gardening, Sandi is regularly delivering produce to homes she’s come to identify in her community with food insecurity.
In our society more of us are IN unmanageable debt, than are out of debt. Did you know that Canada has one of the highest rates of consumer debt in.the.world!?! Not something to be particularly proud of. In this environment, and with every excuse under the sun to BE in debt, she dug her way out of it. Not only that, but she has a respectable start on her family’s food storage. So I asked her to speak at a local event on FOOD STORAGE that I was hosting. I asked her to address the question “How Can I Afford To Build a Storage?”. I asked her to do that because I hear “I can’t afford it” all the time, and I always think of Sandi. – Cindy
So Sandi, How DO you afford to build a food storage? And what suggestions would you have for those who would like to.
Sandi’s words below:
My answer – just do it!
Let me ask you this Question: what is your biggest fear or reason for not having a Food Storage? These are the worries I most often hear . . . . . * I don’t know where to start * I can’t afford it * I have no space to store * I don’t know how to use the stored items to create real meals * I don’t think my family will eat that food
I’ve been a single mom for most of my parenting years. I have two adult children and five grandchildren. They are my life. As a single mom with limited means, I struggled tremendously with providing healthy, nourishing meals for my children on the limited income I earned when they were little. I wanted better for my family and I searched out ways that I could afford better options. Over 25 years ago, I started my home based business of helping people with their taxes, to allow for the extras that I could not afford otherwise. Over time that transitioned into other earning streams and I utilize all my resources to ensure I have what I need for today, tomorrow and next year with the peace of mind that I have the basics covered.
I continue to learn each and every day and I have a wish list always on the go to ensure I keep that peace of mind and better the lives of myself, my children and my grandchildren. Accounting runs in my blood but unfortunately I do not have an accounting designation. Nevertheless most of what I do for work revolves around finances. So it is interesting to me that though finances used to be my biggest worry, my understanding of them became my biggest ally.
I wear many hats in addition to my main jobs of a mother and grandmother. A year ago, I was invited to teach a class in my community about getting out of debt because – other than my mortgage – I AM OUT OF DEBT. It was thought that because I had reached that important goal myself, I might have something to offer people like me – who at one time couldn’t see how getting out of debt was even possible. Some thought that my story might help people feel they could DO IT too. The truth is – it’s been a tough road but I knew I was the only chance my kids had to have a better life than my own. I was their sole provider, their support system, and their example – for good or bad. Remaining in debt wasn’t going to help me be a better mom, and it certainly wasn’t going to help me with any of those priorities.
Our community thought my story provided me with some credibility, and that along with my practical advice, I might be able to provide hope. I don’t know how much influence or credibility I might have in those areas – but I know one thing. I LIVED THE LIFE. I DID IT. I GOT MYSELF OUT OF DEBT. For all those same reasons, I am here to address the problem many people think they have when it comes to Food Storage. The “I CANNOT AFFORD IT” mindset. That is a DEFEATIST statement and I spent my share of time with that kind of defeatist attitude. It got me NOWHERE. Long ago, I decided that I had to be stronger than that. When one really thinks something is important – when it Really IS important, then it’s amazing what you can do to make it happen. You will do whatever you need to!
I admit, when I first became serious about it, Food Storage was not foreign to me, but when it became important to me, it became a PRIORITY. I knew that I would find a way and I found a way. I’ll share my secrets with you. Hopefully you may find some of them helpful.
FOOD STORAGE Rules I live by:
1. Never, EVER buy food storage with money you do not have!
2. Set a monthly budget and stay within it – if you don’t have one yet START now! Keep your grocery receipts for a one month period and write down an itemized list of what you bought. Were those items on your grocery list?
3. Shop the Sales but only purchase what you use – don’t add in exotic or one-of meal add-ons to start off with.
Consider making a multi-family purchasing group so that you can buy in bulk and each family gets a share of the discounted product. ie: I can’t use a case of store bought soup in my food storage but I would like to have 4-6 cans and can share the rest. This could also be preserving equipment that could be shared between a group (ie meat slicer, vacuum sealing unit, pressure canner, etc).
4. Make your money work for you – I purchase on a credit card that gets paid off each month but I earn air miles on my purchases or scene points that I can redeem for other items my family can use during the year: cash back, points, aeroplan miles, store apps for discounted/coupons, etc. WARNING: This only works if you are IN CONTROL of yourself and DON’T GIVE IN TO THE TEMPTATION to overspend.
5. ONLY STORE WHAT YOU EAT. When you do otherwise, it is wasted money that you could have used to buy something more useful. This also includes your grocery store fruits and vegetable purchases – only purchase if you are using it in your meal prep that week. Stats say 47% of food is wasted in Canada. That’s a shocking $47 out of every $100! As a single person I am in a risk category for high food waste, especially when it comes to produce. Because of that, I take precautions to avoid waste. I want to buy food that I never have to throw out. That counts big time in my books.
6. EAT WHAT YOU STORE. You need to be rotating your stock and have confidence that every item is usable to you and your family. Space is at a premium when you are building a 6 month to 1 year food storage – don’t waste that space on something you won’t be using. Make sure your food storage takes many different forms – a single form (ie freezer), may not be that convenient and long lasting if you lost power for a few days. Frozen, canned, freeze dried, cold storage, home preserved – these all have a place in your food storage as they all have varying lengths of storage life and costs.
Slow and Steady wins the race. 7. Be patient, and long sighted. This is a long term goal. You will never reach it if you give up. Dedicating a portion of your budget to Food Storage is moving forward constantly. Use it and rotate it so that it becomes ‘groceries’. When you have extra money – devote it to Food Storage. Those bulk purchases are a GOD-send.
Make it a lifestyle. It is my choice to have a food storage – with all that goes into that choice. With it, comes PEACE OF MIND in a troubling world where nothing is certain. It is worth it to me. In the end, my food storage isn’t quite where I’d like it to be, but I am content with my continued progress.
The average Albertan spends almost $300 per person on monthly groceries. I tend to fall right into that average. In the summer, I garden, which helps with fresh produce; in the winter I purchase more fruits and vegetables so my spending may go up an additional $50 per month. I also buy freeze dried food on a monthly basis, which I use regularly. This keeps my waste to a minimum (wasted food = wasted money).
When I have extra money, I set it aside for the bigger sales (which I’ve learned come every spring and fall). During those bigger sales (for which I budget extra money) I buy more expensive items that get higher discounts at these times. Make no mistake, I eat very well. Nutrition is a priority with me. I have made some big health changes in the last couple of years that I’m very happy about. And I am committed to moving forward with them.
When I started really getting serious about building my food storage, I knew that freeze dried food was where I wanted to focus my energies and resources. I do it gradually, adding to it every month, and so it made sense that I’d want the biggest bang for my buck. I decided if I was going to buy monthly anyway, I might as well get a kickback in the way of commission on my own purchases that I could turn around and reinvest if I wanted to. So I became a consultant. My original intention was not to work the business, just to benefit from available perks, but I found myself dabbling in the business and enjoying the process when I told others about it. You never know where something like this will lead you, and I’ve been around enough to know I enjoy new adventures.
I enjoy sharing my resources as well as my knowledge, but I don’t consider myself an expert at Food Storage. I’m just a mom who wants the best for my kids, doing what I think is the best.
over 100 questions to review with your sweetheart before you go any further
When my parents got married, they hardly knew each other. My dad had been serving in the Navy during the Korean Conflict, and my mom was a young teenager on the Canadian prairies. Her dad had recently died and she’d quit school to earn some cash to help out at home. In 1953 my dad was stationed on Vancouver Island. He took a leave and traveled by bus to southern Alberta to marry my mom. They hadn’t seen each other in nearly three years; she was not quite 18 years old. The night before the wedding they had a terrible fight – raising their voices. SHE hurled out “I don’t want to marry you!” HE surprised her by adding “I don’t want to marry you either.” That sobered them both up and they asked “What are we gonna do?” SHE said “I don’t know. But if we don’t get married, Mom will kill me. She’s been cooking all day.” . . . . . now this is a good moment to pause and reflect. Gramma was a widow with 8 children, struggling to make ends meet. My parents – being kids, decided that under the circumstances, their best option was to get married. Within 48 hours, they had all her worldly possessions packed into two suitcases, and were on a bus headed for the coast. Predictably, their life was not an easy one, they had little common ground. But they struggled their way through it.
Many years later, when I wasn’t much older than my mother had been, Dan and I lived in different cities during our courtship. Consequently we spent many hours on the highway driving from one place to the other. I lived in Cold Lake on the Military base finishing high school, Dan lived in Edmonton – a four hour drive. During those long drives (mostly in the winter and mostly in the dark), radio had poor reception the further north we drove, so we filled the time by talking. We shared opinions, philosophies and perspectives, as well as histories, traditions and dreams. We got to know each other. Touching just about every subject we could think of, we learned things about ourselves and each other, found common ground, made compromises, established boundaries, and agreed to agree on many things. I shared my fledgling testimony of the gospel.
Flashing forward a handful of years, we discovered that the things we understood better because of those long uninterrupted conversations set the groundwork for many little successes in our relationship. We had shared feelings about things that were important to us at the time, and made commitments of mutual respect to honour those feelings. We had sorted out some differences that likely would have been divisive later on.
We made a series of very important commitments to each other that sustained us for the decades that followed. We could not have guessed at how important or long lasting and strengthening those discussions would become. One thing we agreed on in those early years – long before any children came our way, was to never argue in front of our children. We agreed to never raise our voices at each other, never swear at each other, belittle or speak poorly of each other, never undermine the other – and above all, to maintain a “united front” of solidarity and mutual respect in front of our children. We understood that we wouldn’t always see eye to eye, but we agreed to take care of those issues privately until we did.
We had discussed family traditions, those we grew up with, those we observed outside our families, and those we wanted to establish in our future home. There were many things we couldn’t have anticipated, but in retrospect I am surprised at how many we did anticipate or accidentally hit on. I’ve always been glad we had that time – undisturbed by default, devoted to learning about each other as individuals, and US as a future family. It helped. It truly helped. Marriage is difficult enough – the merging of personalities, priorities, different backgrounds, expectations, feelings of right and wrong, and unique understanding of the world we live in. Difficult enough without adding powerful differences like our personal relationships with, and how we felt about God. We talked about that too; my feelings were much stronger. I had seen opposing examples of family life with God and without God, and my decision to establish a house with God had been cemented. Dan didn’t share that conviction but he respected it. It was almost enough.
As our kids grew up and began courting themselves, it became clear to me that they didn’t take the time to discuss the things I felt strongly that they needed to. They didn’t have those undisturbed hours on the highway without music or talk radio. I began to worry that they wouldn’t enjoy the unplanned but much appreciated benefit of those discussions that had served Dan and I so well. I decided to write down some of the questions that came to mind – the ones that stayed with me and that I was most grateful we had gone through. There will always be things one discovers later, things you wish you had talked about, ‘surprises’, but hopefully – with learned communication skills and a greater appreciation of the inner workings – they can be handled better.
The list of questions in this article is intended to be the beginning of ongoing dialogue between couples who are seriously dating and moving toward marriage. Ultimately, its purpose is to increase understanding and mutual respect between both and to prevent bringing unnecessary baggage to the marriage alter. Please go through them together, and in order as they are designed to progress – one section upon the other, from Temporal issues to Spiritual issues. Take your time, don’t rush through them. I suggest dedicating a whole week to each question. I also suggest you add your own questions as they come to mind.
You may discover one or two questions are repeated – this is not an accident. It is intended that the question be considered from a different perspective. Perhaps in your discussions, you might realize you have new insight. Perhaps in your discussions, you may find that your differences are irreconcilable. That will be very sad, but much better before the wedding than after. It happened twice in our family. It was sad to watch our kids’ broken hearts – but far better than marrying with those differences.
Temporal
FINANCES Money, and the use/misuse of it, is unavoidably part of our everyday lives and is one of the biggest causes for contention, arguments, and divorce.
? What is my/your/our – commitment toward TITHING? What is my / your testimony regarding this important commandment? What do I pay tithing based on – the gross or the net? How do I determine that? How strict am I in my obedience? We know that tithing is a principle with a promise. What promise? What blessings do I expect in return for my obedience? Is it wrong to expect a blessing when I am obedient to the principle upon which it is founded?
– Who will handle the day-to-day finances? – What are our long term financial goals? – What sacrifices are we prepared to make to reach those goals? – What are our financial goals for the next year? For the next five years? – What kind of a budget will we set up? What kind of commitment will we have to it? – How will we pay for dentist bills? Eye glasses? Prescriptions? Car repairs? Emergency purchases like a new furnace? New fridge? – How will we make large purchases? – The strong counsel of the church has always been to stay out of unnecessary debt. What would constitute unnecessary debt? What is debt justified for? – How do I personally / you personally / we – feel about debt? What commitment do we have to adhering to the counsel of prophets on this important subject? – What purchases would we consider going into debt for? – Credit cards are a valuable tool in our world. They are also the vehicle for a terrible form of bondage. In what ways is this true? What is my commitment toward the use of credit cards? What am I willing to do without in order to keep that commitment? – How will we fit gifts into our budget? For each other? For others? How will we plan to pay for Christmas? – What is normal in my family / your family – regarding gift giving? What is tradition? What do I / you want to continue? What adjustments are we willing to make in order to be unified in this area? – Regarding gifts, does equal mean ‘the same’ / identical? Do we need to provide the ‘same’ way in order to provide equally? Do we need to spend the ‘same’ in all things in order to be equal? Do our individual needs, need to be ‘the same’ in order to be of equal importance? – Keeping in mind that we come from two entirely different backgrounds, what is important to one family, may not be important (or even meaningful) to the other. If one family has never done something before, and has no expectation of it, how necessary is it to begin doing it, simply to keep things ‘equal’ between our two families? – What examples can we think of that this might apply to? What can we do to avoid this being a contentious issue? What changes or compromises do I/you/we feel are important to make so that we bring the best of both our upbringings to this area, and so that we are both comfortable? – What things, or in what areas do I/you personally consider important enough to spend money that may not be an area others would consider important? What do I/you consider unimportant? What do I/you consider a waste of money? What would I/you really have a problem justifying spending money on? – What do I consider fair in the way of financial accountability to each other, and what do I consider over the top and being too controlling or too controlled? – There is a big difference between the financial struggle that accompanies shared goals, effort, sacrifice and growth, and when that ‘struggle’ morphs into feelings of helplessness and even despair. Although uncomfortable, struggle and growth are healthy and good. But there is no peace in debt. Living beyond our means soon enough causes distress. Financial distress causes despair. – In what ways is despair different than struggle? How will we be able to tell the difference? – What will we do if somehow, we have allowed ourselves to get into a financial situation that causes despair? What measures will we take to rescue ourselves? How will we stay united in this effort? – What commitment do we make to stand on our own two feet as a new family? – At what point do we go to our families and ask for help? How do we avoid or prevent ourselves from asking for help too frequently and expecting someone else to repeatedly rescue us from poor choices we’ve made? – Who will we feel comfortable asking for help? When do we ask for help? And what arrangements do we make to repay that help? – How important is it to share our good fortune with others? What obligation should we feel toward being charitable? What does charity mean to me/you? Is giving without sacrifice really charity? What sacrifices are we willing to make to help another in need?
2. CAREER You don’t have to choose career over marriage or marriage over career. You really should have both – and you can have both. TALK. And figure those details out together as you mutually move toward your goals.
– What are his or her long range career goals? – Where does he or she realistically expect to be in one year? Five years? Ten years? – What effort will be required to achieve these goals? – What sacrifices are we prepared to make to accomplish these goals? – What skill will we have acquired sufficiently and have enough experience in, to fall back on if or when an additional wage is needed? – What are we willing to do to ensure that she or he has an additional marketable skill? – Will she work after children come into the family? – What are our feelings in this area? What are our family backgrounds in this area? What are our personal priorities? How has my/your attitude and commitment been influenced by the experiences and priorities we grew up with? – How important is it to me that our children have a mom home fulltime? How important is it to you? – The Proclamation on the Family states: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” – How important is it to us that we are in line with this or any other prophetic counsel? – What adjustments in our attitudes and perspectives do we need to make to be reconciled with this prophetic counsel? – What are we willing to sacrifice to achieve this?
3. HOUSEHOLD CHORES
* No matter how much we’d like to avoid them, they’re part of our life. While it is important to have spousal roles established, it is equally important to be flexible.
For instance: in our marriage, the house has always been Mom’s responsibility although Dad was quick to help whenever it was needed. Providing financially has always been Dad’s responsibility, but Mom has always done whatever possible to help ease the burden, and for awhile became the major breadwinner. Cars and yard work have always been Dad’s domain, while gardening has always been Mom’s, although both have chipped in when needed. Dad does the heavy work, Mom does the ‘fiddley’ work. Dad enjoys barbequing, Mom enjoys indoors cooking. Dad wants meat so he, for the most part cooks it, otherwise we would be eating much less of it. Those were our established ‘roles’, that we ourselves chose and were comfortable with. At times however, necessity demanded that we adjust – sometimes dramatically for a time. It was an ‘adjustment’, sometimes even a painful adjustment, but not a reversal of roles. When the need abated, former rolls fell back into place. – Cindy Suelzle
– What are your priorities in the area of roles and expectations? – The Proclamation on the Family states: “In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” – How will the chores be divided up? How will they differ or adjust when ‘she’ quits work to nurture children? Or continues working? – Who will take responsibility for what area? – What are our role definitions? – What are our role expectations? – What skills do I need to acquire or improve upon to be a better wife/mother/nurturer? – What skills do I need to acquire or improve upon to be a better husband/father/provider? – What am I willing to do to learn better skills, and what am I prepared to do to help YOU learn and grow in your responsibilities?
4. FOOD, NUTRITION and HEALTH
There’s a connection. Undeniably.
– What do we consider important here? – What foods are “comfort foods” to me? or my personal or traditional favorites? Do I have an opinion on the ‘type’ of foods we eat as a family? – Am I willing to have new food experiences? – What foods do I have a strong dislike to? How will we compromise here? – Review Section 89 of the D&C. – How do we interpret this section? What are our insights? To what extent are we willing to follow the noncompulsory parts of its direction? – What kind of responsibility do I feel toward proper nutrition? – What are my standards on the “quality” of the food we buy or grow?
– How will we deal with minor illnesses in our family? – What kinds of medication do I consider appropriate? – How will we deal with major illnesses?
“When we were newly married, we decided on some basic things which we thought were important to acquire for our independence and self reliance. ie: a few flashlights, coal oil lanterns with extra wicks and sufficient oil for many days use, wheat grinder, food dehydrator, canner, sufficient jars for home canning, juicer, battery operated radio etc. Money was always an issue. We used birthdays and Christmases and any other opportunity to acquire them for each other or to put on our wish lists if anyone else was interested. ” – Cindy
– What are our priorities in the area of Family Preparedness and Emergency Preparedness? – What is the difference? – What are our goals? What are we prepared to do to meet these goals? – Read David A. Bednar’s talk WE WILL PROVE THEM HEREWITH
There is strong counsel to STORE WHAT YOU EAT, AND EAT WHAT YOU STORE. To store food you don’t normally eat, doesn’t make any sense at all. But to not eat what you’ve got stored so that it is constantly be rotated, also doesn’t make sense, and leads to waste.
– What are our individual opinions on the counsel to store food? – How do we feel about that counsel and what is my/your/our commitment to it? – How does that counsel fit into what we see going on in the world around us? – How much of our family budget are we prepared to spend building up and then maintaining our year’s supply of food and other necessities? – How will we obey the prophet’s counsel to plant a garden in whatever living situation we find ourselves? Remember that we receive no commandment without the Lord providing a way for us to accomplish that thing. (1N3:7)
6. ENTERTAINMENT and GIFTS
“When there is a good movie in town, consider going to the theater as a family. Your very patronage will give encouragement to those who wish to produce this type of entertainment, and use that most remarkable of all tools of communication, television, to enrich their lives. There is so much that is good, but it requires selectivity. Let those who are responsible for any efforts to put suitable family entertainment on television know of your appreciation for that which is good and also of your displeasure with that which is bad. In large measure, we get what we ask for.” “…if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” (A/F 13) – Gordon B. Hinckley
– How will we honour ‘date night’? – Do we like to host? What is important to me/you in hosting? – What is my favorite type of entertainment? – What type of entertainment would I consider as a regular form of entertainment? – On a monthly basis? – On a once in awhile basis? – On a seasonal/yearly/anniversary celebration basis? – How much money would I consider fair and reasonable to budget/spend on these forms of entertainment?
– Some couples do not give gifts to each other. Some consider it very important. How do I feel about it? – How do YOU feel about it? If our opinions differ, what will we do here? – What do I expect in the way of a birthday gift? Christmas gift? Anniversary gift? – What would disappoint me and hurt my feelings concerning a gift from you? – What would I absolutely love to receive from you? – What type of gift would always be a hit with me?
7. PERSONAL STANDARDS
Personal standards are hugely important, and their variance affects every facet of our lives. We are ruled by our own personal standards. So what are mine? And am I consistent with them? Do they transition smoothly to all areas?
“The flood of pornographic filth, the inordinate emphasis on sex and violence are not peculiar to North America. The situation is as bad in Europe and in many other areas. The whole dismal picture indicates a weakening rot seeping into the very fiber of society. Legal restraints against deviant moral behavior are eroding under legislative enactments and court opinions. This is done in the name of freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of choice in so-called personal matters. But the bitter fruit of these so-called freedoms has been enslavement to debauching habits and behavior that leads only to destruction. A prophet, speaking long ago, aptly described the process when he said, “And thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell” (2 Nephi 28:21). ……. I am satisfied that there is no need to stand still and let the filth and violence overwhelm us or to run in despair. The tide, high and menacing as it is, can be turned back if enough … will add their strength to the strength of the few who are now effectively working. I believe the challenge to oppose this evil is one from which members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as citizens, cannot shrink. …. Respect for self is the beginning of virtue in men. That man who knows that he is a child of God, created in the image of a divine Father and gifted with a potential for the exercise of great and godlike virtues, will discipline himself against the sordid, lascivious elements to which all are exposed.” – Gordon B. Hinkley
– How do I feel about protecting my home, my family and myself from the plague of Pornography? – What steps am I prepared to take against it? – What about Inappropriate music? And other forms of entertainment which chase away the spirit of God? – How do I feel about the prophet’s admonition to not watch R–rated movies, or anything like unto them? – How important is it to me to have the spirit of the Lord in my home at all times? What am I prepared to do to make sure it is always there? – Do I sup from the scriptures daily? And do I consider it important to study daily as a couple and family? – How will we do this? What commitment will we make to each other to continue? – If circumstances interfere from time to time, what will we do to get back-on-the-wagon? – How important is it to me to align myself with the counsel of the leaders of the church? Of what value is this in my life? – How important is it to me to have a clean house? What does this even look like to me? What am I prepared to do to accomplish this? – Do we have similar standards on personal hygiene/grooming? Are we compatible in this area? – How important is it to me to keep a close relationship with my immediate family? – What am I prepared to do to learn to appreciate and come to love YOUR family? – If one of my siblings needs help, what obligation will I feel toward them? Will I feel the same obligation to one of your siblings?
Etiquette is a societal thing; it changes from one society to another, but wherever you live, it is very important. It is a set of ‘norms’ of personal behaviour in polite society. They show respect to others. Eating at someone else’s table where you don’t understand proper etiquette can be offensive, disrespectful, intimidating and embarrassing. Learning regional and cultural variances is easy to adjust to when you have a good foundational knowledge of some basics. Understanding and being comfortable with good table manners will always put an individual in the advantage. – Cindy Suelzle
– How important are table manners and table etiquette including setting a proper table to me? How will they help us be comfortable in social situations and help our kids to be comfortable eating with others as they grow older? – What about good manners in general?
Speaking about personal respect for each other . . . .
– How will we show respect to and for each other? – How will we honor each other? – How should we treat each other in public? What things should we agree to NOT discuss with other people? – What guidelines could we agree on to ensure that we do not say things around other people that may hurt our sweetheart’s feelings? – How will we know when we have offended our sweetheart’s feelings? And what will we do about it? – What do I consider RUDE? What do I consider inconsiderate or thoughtless? – How do we fix things between us? – What do I need to feel ‘safe’ enough to discuss with you, things that are important to me? …things that are sensitive to me? …. things that are hurtful to me? – What can I do to help YOU feel ‘safe’ enough to discuss those things openly with me? – We have been admonished to study “out of the best books”. What do we consider Best Books? – How important is a “gospel library” to me? – How important is it to me to have a good “classic library”? – What kind of plan should we implement to accomplish our goal?
“You know that your children will read. They will read books, and they will read magazines and newspapers. Cultivate within them a taste for the best. While they are very young, read to them the great stories which have become immortal because of the virtues they teach. Expose them to good books. Let there be a corner somewhere in your house, be it ever so small, where they will see at least a few books of the kind upon which great minds have been nourished. … Let there be good magazines about the house, those which are produced by the Church and by others, which will stimulate their thoughts to ennobling concepts. Let them read a good family newspaper that they may know what is going on in the world without being exposed to the debasing advertising and writing so widely found.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
– How important is music to me? – What do I consider worthy/appropriate music? How do I feel about a music library?
“Let there be music in the home. If you have teenagers who have their own recordings, you may be prone to describe the sound as something other than music. Let them hear something better occasionally. Expose them to it. It will speak for itself. More appreciation will come than you may think. It may not be spoken, but it will be felt, and its influence will become increasingly manifest as the years pass.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
– How important is it to me to develop a musical talent of mine? What kind of support will I expect?
7. TRADITIONS
– How did my family celebrate Christmas? What was my favourite part? – What was our traditional meal? – When did we open gifts? What kinds of things did we get in our stockings? – How do I feel about continuing my family’s Christmas traditions into our own family? – How do I think we should keep Christ in our Christmas celebrations? – What are the best parts of the ways we each celebrated Christmas in the families we grew up with? – What could we do differently in our home that we will both be happy with? – What traditions will I bring with me? You with you? Do we agree on the value of these traditions? – How did my family celebrate Easter? What was my favourite part? What part do I want to continue in my own family? – How do I feel about Halloween? – Thanksgiving? – Summer vacation? – What is my favorite holiday? And why? How can I share my enthusiasm for this special day with you? – What style of furniture do I like? What can I be happy with? What compromises am I willing to make?
Spiritual
8. TEMPLE ATTENDANCE
With temples being so close to the bulk of the membership, many couples set a goal for regular attendance. – What is my feeling about the promise of eternal families that temples represent? – What goal will we set for ourselves relative to attending the temple? – And of continual temple worthiness?
9. PERSONAL or PRIVATE SPIRITUAL COMMITMENT
– What commitment will we make specifically about scripture study, individual/couple/family prayer, journal writing and family record keeping? – How will we choose to preserve family memories? (i.e. photos, slides, videos, albums, scrapbooks etc) – What Christ-like attribute most impressed me about you? drew me to you? and made me want you for my companion? – What is the thing I admire/respect most about you that I would like to emulate in my life? – How important to me are the laws, ordinances and principles of the gospel? – How important is it to me to be align myself to them? How important do I think it should be? Is there even any value in obedience? – What efforts am I willing to make in my personal desire to have a relationship with my Saviour? – What is my feeling about regular church attendance? – What is my feeling toward church service? – The counsel of the brethren is to dress as if we are wearing temple garments, even if we are not. – How do I feel about modesty in dress and speech? – What commitment do I feel to dress so that I reflect church standards at all times?
Testimonies are living breathing things in need of constant nourishment. They can become weak and even sickly if they’re not taken care of. What will I do if you lose your testimony? What will you do if I lose mine?
10. CHURCH RESPONSIBILITIES
– What is my commitment level to callings and responsibilities within the Church? – How willing am I to serve selflessly and faithfully in the Church? – What will I do to encourage my partner in his/her ministering stewardships? – What will I do to support and sustain my partner in his/her individual callings?
11. TITHES and OFFERINGS
– What do I regard as an honest and full tithing? – Do we agree on what we consider Increase? – How do I feel about fast and other offerings? – What do I consider a generous fast offering? – Do we agree on this? – What about other donations such as the Perpetual Education fund or the Missionary fund? Do I believe that blessings will come into our lives as a result of our obeying the law of tithing and of contributing to other funds organized by the Church for the benefit of the charity the Church provides? – Do I have an understanding of the principle of ‘offerings’?
12. SABBATH OBSERVANCE – What do I consider proper Sabbath observance? – What are some of the things we should DO on Sunday? – What are some of the things I feel that we should NOT do in order to keep the Sabbath day separate and holy? – What are our expectations of each other in this area? – What would disappoint me regarding our/your Sabbath observance?
13. FAMILY HOME EVENING
“A better tomorrow begins with the training of a better generation. This places upon parents the responsibility to do a more effective work in the rearing of children. The home is the cradle of virtue, the place where character is formed and habits are established. Family home evening is the opportunity to teach the ways of the Lord.” – Gordon B. Hinckley
– What will we do to ensure that we observe the counsel to keep Monday evenings for family when we are still just a couple? What will we do to use this opportunity to strengthen our family in the gospel? – How will we keep it a priority? – What commitments are we prepared to make now that would directly impact our future children regarding Family Home Evening (FHE)?
ROMANCE
14. FRIENDSHIP
What things are important to me in our continued relationship as FRIENDS? What are my expectations from a best friend? What am I prepared to do to BE your best friend? What do I consider healthy as far as other best friends in my/your life? What freedom will I be willing to give my spouse in their pursuit of relationships with other friends?
15. DATE NIGHT
– How committed are we to obeying the council to have regular date night? What value do we see in this practice? – What good examples can I think of concerning regular date night observance? – What are we prepared to do on a daily basis to keep the romance in our marriage alive? – How will we observe special days such as our Anniversary? Each other’s birthdays? Valentine’s Day? Etc. (i.e. some couples celebrate their anniversary date by attending the temple to do sealings. In this way it is a continual reminder of the covenants they made and the promises they could depend on.)
If I intend to be happily married to you in 40+ years, what am I prepared to give until then to ensure it? – How will we talk about each other in front of other people? (even if we are upset with the other) – How will we talk toeach other in front of other people? – What precautions will we take to ensure we never undermine, belittle, ridicule, embarrass or insult our sweetheart? (in private or in front of others) – What if we do offend the other not intending to? – What if they get their feelings hurt over something we considered innocent or even funny? – How will we refer to each other? What terms of endearment am I comfortable with? – What will we do when we fall out of love? (WE WILL bytheway) – How will we stay married, and healthy and committed to each other if one day we think that we’ve grown apart? How will we help each other through it? – How will we communicate to each other that we are in distress, and that something is very wrong in our relationship? – What are we prepared to do to overcome major difficulties in our relationship? – What do we expect from each other in the area of commitment and communication? to our marriage – to our children – to our own family – to Family Home Evening – to Date Night – to our extended families – to our ward – to the Church – to God – and to our community?
16. INTIMACY and PREGNANCY
– How do I/you feel about purity before marriage? – Can we be honest with our personal history concerning that? – Can we deal with it? How will we deal with it? – Do we see the need for using a form of birth control? If so, what form will we use? – What will we do to make sure we are educated and properly informed about current methods of birth control? – How important is a feeling of ‘trust’ and safety to me in regards to intimacy? -How important do I think it is that we both feel comfortable about being open and honest in our discussions about intimacy? – What will we do to be sure we are educated and properly informed about pregnancy and child birth? – What will we do to ensure optimum health for Mom and baby? How involved do we want Dad to be in the birthing? – What if the unthinkable happens? ….. miscarriage? What if . . . our baby dies? How will we help each other through this hard thing? – What if another unthinkable happens? . . . . . infidelity? What will we do? – Can we see ourselves able to forgive? – What are our ‘non-negotiables’ in this area?
17. PARENTING
– How many children do we want? – Will Mom stay home to raise them? – What is my idea of discipline? – What are some things that I consider very important in child rearing? – What should we as parents do to ensure that we teach by example such things as respect for womanhood? Manhood? Etiquette? Table manners? Good housekeeping? Personal cleanliness? Personal responsibility? The law? – What are things I consider essential to teach children? -Where will we turn to learn parenting skills? – How will we teach our children that the Church is true? That we love, respect and obey the prophet? And that Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of our life? – How will I show my children that the scriptures are important to me? And that they can come to know Jesus Christ through their own personal study of them? – What efforts will we make to encourage our children to stay active in the Church? And to adhere to the counsel it provides? – How will I show them the importance of education and help them to develop a love of reading? – What are some absolute taboos concerning children in my opinion? – What do I feel very strongly about – concerning behaviors we will encourage, those we allow and behaviors we will absolutely forbid? Do we agree? What should we do to ensure compliance with these behaviors? – What if we have an unhealthy child? Perhaps a down syndrome child, or one who has a serious illness or disability? How do we plan to be the best parents possible no matter what that looks like? – What did our parents do right in the parenting department, that we’d like to emulate? – What improvements can we make over our parents’ best attempts, to continue to become the best parents our children deserve?
18. OTHER THINGS of IMPORTANCE TO CONSIDER
– What are my priorities in the area of TIME? – What do I consider a big waste of time? – a moderate waste of time? – Where would I absolutely draw the line in my flexibility of my partner doing something I consider to be a waste of time, money and energy? Or something I abhor? – What are my priorities in the area of money? – It is likely that we may look at money differently. One might resent frugality. One might resent spending freely with no regard for budget. What do I consider a big waste of money? – a moderate waste of money? – Where would I absolutely draw the line in my tolerance of my partner spending money in what I consider to be a waste of money? – How would I like to spend the hours of an entire free day with you? – How would I like to spend the hours of an entire free day without you?. .
These questions have been edited continually since I first drafted them for Sarah – many years ago.
You need not ‘report’ on any discussion, but I think it would be helpful to be accountable to someone that you have indeed been through each one. For my kids, I tried to give them one sheet at a time, and when they told me they were ready for another, I gave it to them.
I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to communicate, now and throughout your marriage. Take them seriously. I once asked a friend who used these “Did you not go through those questions?” She affirmed that they did. “Well how did this one get missed then? It’s pretty straight forward.” “I didn’t think it was that important. I didn’t think he was that serious about it.”
That’s not fair. Not being straight up and owning your words, not doing what you committed to do – not fair. If there are serious ‘issues’ with any of these questions, have those issues today, BEFORE you are married. If they cannot be resolved, it is best to learn that before you go to the alter.
Over our married life there have been many discussions about Hallowe’en. We haven’t always seen eye to eye on it, but we manage to get through unscathed. We’ve noted that candy hits the grocery store shelves a lot earlier than it used to; in fact some of it never leaves, it just increases in volume for two or three months.
I’ve never been big on having candy in the house on a regular basis. My kids pretty much all agree that that was one of the bigger mistakes I made as a mom, and they went into adulthood with those scars. I conceded (with limitations) at Hallowe’en, Christmas and Easter. Some things haven’t changed very much. I can’t help it. I simply cannot be the one who gives children ‘candy’. One day my 5 year old grandson Braeden said “I have a healthy gramma and a candy gramma.” Oh oh, I knew exactly where this one was gonna go, but I opened the door anyway. “Which one do you like best?” I asked. With absolutely no hesitation – he had already made his decision “The candy Gramma.” LOL
I chuckled when I mentioned it to my daughter-in-law later, and she was mortified assuring me he didn’t mean it. But he did mean it, and that was 100% okay with me; I wasn’t offended then and I’m not offended now. It was funny to me, and it still is. He spoke from the immediate perspective of an innocent – focused on instant gratification, and the facts. The most important fact at the moment was that he.liked.candy. That’s okay. The truth is, I also like candy. If we’re talking only about the ‘taste’ of milk chocolate, I like it as much as anybody else – possibly more than many. And if that was the only consideration, we’d eat it for dinner at my house. But sugar and I have had a tumultuous relationship over the years.
I have a lotta dental work that can attest to how much candy I ate as a child, combined with poor training on personal dental care. And I have struggled my whole life with weight issues. It didn’t make any sense to me to allow candy a place of honour in the home I raised my children in. The jury’s still out on what the best parenting choices regarding sweets might be, but suffice it to say that most parents make the best choice they know how. Certainly I did. But eventually the kids grew up, gained more autonomy over their candy choices, and in their turn made the best parenting choices they could.
In the meantime, I still like chocolate and I still live in a 1st world country which pretty much worships it. I may have a lotta personal strengths, but willpower has never been one of them. Case in point is this dialogue below – which is absolutely true in every word, with varying degrees of repetitiveness over the years.
Sept 1, Dan says: “I saw Halloween candy over at Sobeys. Guess we better get some eh?” me: “Why? We don’t need a bunch of chocolate bars taking up residence in this house – two months before they have to.” he: “Well we don’t want to wait so long that they run out.” me: “Oh come on! The last time a store ran out of Halloween candy was the Halloween day that I was 10 years old. (a childhood memory) he: “I just thought it would be good to get it over with. Then we won’t have to worry about it.” me: “Do you lose sleep worrying about possibly forgetting to pick up Hallowe’en candy? We both know that if that stuff comes into this house we’ll eat it all up, and then have to buy some more. And so do the stores know that. Which is why its on the shelves on Labour Day.” he: “Well we might eat ‘some’ but that’s okay.” me: “No its not Dan. Because unlike you, I don’t eat ‘some’. It will haunt me and I’ll be into it everyday till its gone. I can’t have that kinda temptation around. I’m sorry you married such a weak person.” he: “I’ll hide it. You’ll be fine.” me: “I won’t be fine. I’ll rip the house apart till I find it.” he: “I’ll keep it in the garage.” me: “You don’t think I know how to find your little stashes in the garage?” he: “I’ll put it in the freezer.” me: “I love frozen chocolate.” he: “I’ll keep it over at the store.” Oh that’s a good one. We owned a family bookstore (Generations LDS Bookstore) at the time – where I might add, I spent the biggest part of each day. me: “Oh THAT sounds like a brilliant plan!” he: “I’ll keep it in the trunk of the car I drive. When I’m not home, it won’t be here.”
. . . . . . . let’s face it, to some of life’s issues there are just no perfect solutions, and that’s okay. We’ll get through them and keep things in perspective. Life is full of compromises.
At first glance you might think that a simple garden can do little to improve a community, but you’d be wrong. Sometimes, “By small and simple things great things are brought to pass“(1) Through community gardens, neighbourhoods come together, friendships are established, individuals become part of a thing bigger than themselves, and local governments forge new partnerships and connect with their residents. While it isn’t everyone’s cuppa tea, you don’t have to actually ‘garden’ to see the value in it, or to support one. Community gardens are a low cost way to repurpose wasted, unsightly space. What town or city in their right mind would turn down a well thought out plan to create one?
Take Sakaw Gardens for instance, in the heart of Mill Woods. At summer’s end of 2020, community member Myrna Peters pitched her idea of a community garden to those attending an Annual General meeting. Her idea was to use the space of a former ice rink in the nearby school field. It was enthusiastically embraced by the Millhurst Community League. In fact, a garden had been on their radar since a Needs Assessment Survey in 2015 determined that it was the number one choice for using that space. A volunteer willing to head up the project just hadn’t been found.
I was in that meeting – with other masked strangers sitting six feet apart. It was my first AGM for the community league. My interest was piqued – I was intrigued – I was allured – and I was excited about the possibilities – all at the same time. Like others in 2020, I had been feeling some compulsion toward community service, and had reached out – which is why I was in that meeting. But gardening! Gardening was a personal passion.
The stars aligned that day for a lot of people. For Myrna – her idea landed in fertile ground. For the community executive – they finally found a willing volunteer to head up a project they already supported. For me – this was something I already loved. I followed Myrna out to the parking lot, introduced myself, and gave her my phone number. I promised to do what I could to help her.
To say it all fell together would undermine the hundreds of hours of preparatory work that went into getting it off the ground. But there were a lot of things that did come together. First of all, we didn’t have to invent the wheel, we reached out to other community gardens and asked for help. Nearby Ridgewood Gardens freely shared their experience in getting their community garden up and functional. Coordinator Danna Schumann gave us a tour, highlighting their strengths and pitfalls and shared information that assisted us with our application to the city. They were two years ahead of us, so their experience was fresh and helpful. A handful of community members responded to the call, coming forward with skills necessary to get a project like this put together. We established a team, met regularly, applied for grants, coordinated volunteer efforts, jumped through hoops to comply with city requirements, and established friendships.
Two and a half years into our project, we have not only completed our Phase 1 and Phase 2, but are on track to complete Phase 3 by this spring. What are the different Phases? Well, funny you should ask, as I was just about to tell you.
Phase 1 was the garden itself: complete with 35 plots, some inground, some raised beds. Included were two public gardens, a school plot and a Food Bank plot.
Phase 2 began with an orchard including all things “Fruit”. Trees: apple, plum and cherry Bushes: saskatoon, raspberry, currant and gooseberry Plants: rhubarb and strawberry It also included a rabbit fence, a rain roof, a dry creek for runoff, picnic tables and benches, as well as a hardpack crushed limestone path connecting 11a avenue to the garden. We call this PAT’S PATH. And the jewel on Phase 2: six wheelchair garden boxes. We call these PAT’S PLANTERS.
Pat Whaley
Pat Whaley was a long time community volunteer who was a double amputee confined to a wheelchair. She wouldn’t want to defined this way, but it was a fact of her life and it affected every part of it. Pat was present in those early weeks while Myrna’s vision was unveiled, but she stopped Myrna in her tracks when she said “This is so awesome, but I’ll never be able to see it because I’ll never be able to get there.” Funny how one simple statement can stand out and haunt you. It changed everything for Myrna. It changed ‘the vision’. Before that year was over, Pat Whaley left this world for a better one. She left her wheelchair behind, but she’d made her point. It was agreed that a community garden should be INCLUSIVE, and that meant those in wheelchairs or walkers or with other mobility issues should be able to not only “get there“, but should be able to garden. Such is the legacy Pat Whaley left behind.
No doubt Pat looks on from her vantage point and is happy with what she sees. Her wistful comment back in the fall of 2020 inspired changes to the original plan that included six wheelchair accessible garden beds, a hard pack, crushed limestone path connecting the main sidewalk to the garden and winding through the orchard area, wheelchair accessible picnic tables, and swinging gates on our fence. Pat would also be happy to know that our Gazebo (Phase 3 and on schedule to be completed this spring) is at ground level, making it fully accessible by wheelchair.
In honour of Pat Whaley, at of the end of our 2022 season, six wheelchair beds were built, installed and filled.
They are reserved for wheelchair gardeners, and able bodied gardening volunteers stand ready to assist as needed, to make gardening at Sakaw accessible to all – even those in wheelchairs. Thank you Pat. You are remembered. And in response to your desire to partake, we hope to be accessible to others like you.
If you, or someone you know in a wheelchair, thought that eating vegetables you grew yourself was not possible, you were wrong. If you’re in the area, Sakaw Gardens welcomes you. Plots are available now to reserve on a first come basis.
warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
footnotes: 1. Alma 37:6
“a garden can be the salve that heals our hurting communities”
Shortly after Dan and I were married, we began to give serious attention to establishing our own food storage (such as it was possible in a small 2nd floor apartment). And we took more than our fair share of ribbing about it (especially me), from friends and family. Some family members were like minded, some were not – but respectful, and some outwardly ridiculed. And you know what? That’s just the way some people are – no use losing sleep over, adjusting your priorities for, or being offended because some people see life differently (no matter how rude they are).
What is food storage?
I think a good way to explain what food storage is, is to understand what it is NOT. Food storage does not involve ‘panic buying’, and does not involve ‘shelf clearing’, buying on credit or hoarding. It does involve INTENT, coming up with a plan, working on that plan, priorities, budgeting, strategies, vision, some sacrifice , short term inconvenience in the beginning which transitions into long term convenience, satisfaction, comfort and peace of mind. It also requires some dedicated space. It does not have to be accomplished quickly, in fact it shouldn’t be – for a number of good reasons. It doesn’t have to be a whole lotta money upfront – quite the opposite, it can save you a lotta money. It can be accomplished one day at a time. Starting Right Now.
Food storage is all about preparing for adversity by having a basic supply of food, water and necessities on hand. There are two types: short term food storage – 3 months (which is usually just the first stage of a bigger plan) long term food storage – 1 year+ A critical component of any good food storage plan is WATER – for drinking and also household use. I am not including ‘water’ in this post, but only for the sake of room. It will be its own discussion.
Panic buying is based on FEAR, and it causes us to do things that we later might regret with regards to what we purchased or how we purchased it. When we haven’t planned ahead, and are suddenly faced with an emergency, we can find ourselves being very self centered. In that scarcity mentality, we may buy too much, and we may put our perceived needs ahead of every one else’s. We clear shelves. We think we deserve something more than somebody else might, simply because we got there quicker. When Covid first became a thing, we saw items flying off the shelves, people taking much more than they needed with no regard for others. The behaviour was a symptom of fear, but was completely avoidable with a little forethought and planning.
First of all, we are not the most important person in the world – even though we may think we are. And we are not more deserving than any one else. When we remove FEAR from the equation, it changes everything. That scarcity mentality becomes an abundance mentality. Go ahead and shop the sales as you can afford them – in times of plenty. There really is enough for everyone.
8 Hints for Success
Don’t buy more than you can afford
Start small
Picking up an extra can or two when you’re able (and they’re on sale) adds up soon and is Visibly satisfying
Re-allocate a few dollars where you can. In many cases, saving $ from one impulse fast food stop on the way home could be enough to add a case of some food-storage essential.
Be open to try new things. Open your eyes and you mind.
Rotate items to prevent them from expiring.
The freezer is NOT food storage. It is convenient and important, but not dependable in an emergency. It depends on a resource you cannot control: electricity.
Remember, for the most part, electricity is your best friend, and it will not let you down. But there are times it will.
So WHY food storage? That’s the big question . . . .
It seemed that in 2022 more people have opened their eyes to the idea of food storage. Some who may previously have only given it a cursory thought, and others who have never felt the urge or even saw the wisdom of food storage before now – were suddenly getting on board.
For years, governments on all levels, communities, social agencies and even religious organizations have urged people to prepare themselves by storing extra food, water and other necessities at home. With the recent changes we’ve all seen in these unsettling times, the wisdom of doing so is becoming more and more apparent to many of us. There is no replacing the peace of mind that you have when you know you’re prepared. And that doesn’t have to mean the radical preparations of a doomsday prepper. It can mean something as simple as not having to go out for groceries for a week when you’re sick, or for a month when you’ve been laid off. It can mean something as simple as being prepared to live with less income than you currently are.
The sad reality is that when we receive a few days warning of an impending hurricane or blizzard or other disruption in services, stores are crammed with people trying to get the last loaf of bread, the last bag of apples, the last jug of milk, or that last package of toilet paper because they’re not prepared. Or as we’ve all seen, hoarding those commodities preventing others from buying them – out of some sense that “WE” need it more than “they”. But truthfully, without warning, each one of us may face a personal emergency in our own lives. A job loss. A health crises. A death in the family. A pandemic. Let’s face it, life’s emergencies can be sporadic and unpredictable. Being prepared to weather these storms is not as difficult as you might think. What if you could relax, take that veritable load of worry off your shoulders? You can of course. It simply requires a plan, some focus, and some intentional action working toward the goal.
Food Insurance
Food is usually the second largest expense in any family budget, coming in a close second to the cost of shelter. And I’m sure you figured out that food prices only go up, increasing at a shocking rate these last few years. I can’t see that changing any time soon. Can you?
You’d be hard pressed to find someone without household insurance. Most of us agree that life insurance is important, and it’s mandatory to have car insurance. We buy travel insurance when we travel, and medical insurance. So why not for something as important as food? Food insurance! That’s pretty much what food storage is. But its surprising how many of us fail to protect our family with the most basic insurance of all – protection against an interruption in our ability to buy groceries. And with the recent Covid pandemic fresh in our minds, and subsequent shortages in nearly everything, we’ve all seen first hand, things we didn’t ever think we would.
The big difference of course, is that Food Insurance doesn’t disappear at the end of the month like fire insurance. We eat it. For the cost of “insuring” our family against the unthinkable, or simply against an interruption in our income, we can literally BUY peace of mind in the area of food. “Full Coverage Food Insurance“, ready when we need it. And no insurance broker to deal with LOL.
Building your food storage may seem daunting at first, both in effort required and the financial investment. Here are some steps to get you started.
1. Where to start?
When I was a little girl, fruits and vegetables in food storage were in cans or bottles. They were stored in our cold room and brought up daily for meals. Meat was stored in the freezer. Flour and sugar were stored in pails. And pasta was stored in cardboard boxes. (we always had lots of macaroni). When my kids were little, it was more of the same with the addition of more dehydrated foods (more than just raisins), a lot more home bottled fruits, vegetables and even meats, and a bigger variety of grains and beans. These days, I keep some of those same foods, with a few adjustments, improvements, additions and editions I’ve learned over the years.
When you’re just starting out with Food Storage, there is always the question of *Where on earth do I begin(?). And then the follow up questions of *What to get? *How much to get? *Where to get it from? *How to afford it? *How to store it? *Where to store it? *How long will it last? *How to prepare it? *Where to find the time to prepare it? *How to rotate it to keep it ‘fresh’? *How not to waste it? *And will my family eat it?
Nowadays, we have a new player in the food storage game. Ironically, it is not so new, its more a matter of more people becoming increasingly aware of it. And its the answer to all the above questions. FREEZE DRIED FOOD. Nutritious. Convenient: easy to use. Tasty. And get this – shelf life of 25 years. It adds “SMART” to traditional food storage of cans and bottles.
STORE WHAT YOU EAT.
Having a Food Storage may be one of the smartest things you do for your family. But there is one very important rule that everyone must follow. Your Food Storage may not look like mine or anyone else’s, and it shouldn’t. You need to Store what your family eats! Foods you like, that are easy to prepare but more importantly, that your family is used to, and will enjoy. In our younger years, there were often times that we relied on our food storage. Groceries were the only flexible thing in our tight budget, but I never wanted my children to feel that life was harder this month than last month. I wanted every day to be comfortable and normal. So we ate the same way, in good months and difficult months. If I could not buy groceries in any given month, or my budget was reduced for some reason, I didn’t want my kids to notice. I cannot emphasize the rule of “storing what you eat and eating what you store” – enough. When life is hard on so many levels, it is soothing to know that your family has good food that they’re accustomed to, on the table. Store what you eat, but then EAT what you store.
MAKE room.
That’s different that having room. Most houses these days offer no accommodation for food storage, but they’re also bigger than houses of yester-year. Ironic isn’t it? If you can’t find room, then MAKE it. Be creative. You’re the boss. Ideally it should be in the basement where it is cooler, but if you don’t have a basement, convert a bedroom, or a storage room or a portion of your garage if you must, or even a closet. Think outside the box. If possible, keep everything together. When we moved into the house we currently live in, it took us a few years of experimenting with where to put our food storage before we finally ‘found’ the room. We had to put up a wall and create a small room where there wasn’t one.
AFFORD. Never, ever ever EVER invest in something as important as food storage with money you don’t have. It doesn’t matter how good that bargain was, if you’re paying 25% interest on it, its a bad deal. Shift your budget if you need to, do without something else if needed to add $100 a month to your food storage, but do NOT buy it on credit. Debt is contrary to the principle of being prepared. Debt is the quickest way to either lose everything you’ve got, or to be held hostage by it. Preparation can be accomplished on a budget.
ROTATE. Everything has a shelf life, even you! Trying to stretch food too far past it’s recommended shelf life will result in an inferior product – especially in its nutritional value. An important part of using the food in your storage is ‘rotating’ it. First in, first out. Replacing it as you use it keeps it current and puts your ‘food storage’ into the same category as ‘groceries’, which normalizes it. Rotating also gives you experience using the food you’re storing, and lets face it, sometimes we can use the practice right? The shelf life of food varies widely, but here are some basics that might help you estimate.
CANNED FOOD (home canned or commercially canned) has a shelf life of up to 2 years. If your canned food gets too old, you’ll end of discarding it, and that is a sad waste of money.
FROZEN FOOD has a shelf life of 3 months to one year – depending on what it is. So yes, its convenient, but don’t count on it for the long term. And of course we all know that frozen food is 100% dependent on our access to electricity – which may be disrupted without notice. DEHYDRATED FOOD has a shelf life of up to one or two years. If you’ve ever kept raisins longer than two years, you know they’re not very good. Too dry and crystalized.
FREEZE DRIED FOOD has a shelf life of 25 years (sometimes more). Not sure how anyone can beat that, but even 25 years doesn’t mean forever. You’ll be surprised one day to find out how quickly that time has slipped by. But when you’re using the food, and constantly replenishing – it is completely without the stress of worrying about its shelf life. Once you open it, most freeze dried foods will last a year if properly sealed and protected from the moisture in the air.
TODAY. It’s true that those who began investing in Food Storage many years ago, are advantaged. They simply maintain what they’ve been doing all along. But as Maya Angelou once counselled “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, DO BETTER.” I love this simple piece of advice. It is wisdom to me, and I have adopted it as my personal motto. It reminds me not to beat myself up for mistakes I made in the past, and opportunities I’ve neglected. I did the best I knew how with the resources I had at the time. But now, I know better. And my obligation is to act on my new knowledge and awareness. I am accountable for my actions based on what I understand. Truly the best time to get my food storage together was a long time ago. But if I didn’t, I didn’t. It can’t be changed. The point is, that I can start NOW. The next Best time to do better is always right now. TODAY.
2. What to get?
When I was a young girl, my mother answered that questions with the same answer my grandmother gave – “whatever fills the hollow spot“. She gleaned that philosophy from being a child of the depression and war years. While I respect the practical experience, I’d like to think that we have a more enlightened perspective of nutrition nowadays that would influence the question of what to invest in.
When you’re in a situation where you’re living on your food storage, you want the best nutrition for your family. In fact, if letting “food be thy medicine” was ever important, it will be critically important in times of need. Nutrition is key. Make sure the food you buy has something more to offer than calories. Having said that however, calories will be very important too. Calories are where energy comes from, just make sure they’re super nutritious calories.
All produce (fruits and vegetables) begins to deteriorate in the hour it is harvested, so eating fresh from the garden is of course optimal. But as lovely as that is, most of us cannot do it consistently, at least not all year round. And food storage generally consists of preserved food, so lets look at options. Rule of thumb to remember when choosing the type of food for your food storage: * Canned food (whether home canned or commercially canned) retains about 40% of it nutritional value. This is not the original food value of what it was in the hour it was picked. It represents 40% of the nutritional value of the food when it was put into the can or bottle. When I first learned this, I was very disappointed because I canned fruit all my parenting years, and we relied on canned fruit all winter long. But I was not surprised.
If you’ve ever canned peaches, you know that those peaches are in a hot water bath of 212 degrees for 40-45 minutes. Of course nutrition is going to be affected. And of course, when we buy those peaches (that were picked green before all the nutrients were fully developed), we usually have to wait a few days till they’re fully ripened and perfect for canning. This time means further nutritional loss. Still 40% is better than no peaches in February right? And home canning is still the easiest and most reliable way to preserve food long term at home. So let’s just be mindful of its pros and cons. * Frozen food retains about 60% of its nutritional value and is generally flash frozen very quickly after harvesting. It’s biggest draw back is the limited shelf life. * Dehydrated food is difficult to pin down for nutritional retention, as there are so many factors involved in dehydration. Was it commercially dehydrated? Or dehydrated at home? Sulfur dioxide is a preservative often used in commercial dehydrating. Most raisins, prunes and apricots contain it, and while this sulfite extends the shelf life of dehydrated food, but it is very bad for us. Generally you can count on dehydrated foods having close to 80% original food value, but for how long? And dependent on so many factors, it is difficult to have confidence in it. * Freeze dried foodretains up to 95% of the original food value. This is astounding, especially when considering its exceptionally long shelf life. Look for brands that guarantee their produce was picked RIPE and flash frozen within hours of harvest. This ensures the best possible nutrition right from the beginning. How is this possible? Here’s a good explanation in a nutshell . . . .
3. How much to get?
Following the SMART rules above will help you with most questions you might have, but . . . how much? How much is enough? And how much should you start with? My strong suggestion is to not bite off so much that you are overwhelmed and give up. There are two ways to start slowly:
Add extra Simple adjustments like – if you would normally buy two cans of tomato sauce, buy four. If you would normally buy three cans of tuna, buy six. If you would normally buy a box of cereal, buy two. And so on. Focus on non perishable items. Put them away, in your pantry or in your new ‘food storage’ area. Next time you go shopping do the same thing. Gradually these extras add up and you will be amazed to see the results after only a few months. *hint: always write the date you buy it in permanent marker on the package. This is a loud reminder of keeping it properly rotated.
Two weeks Think of seven meals your family enjoys – one week’s worth. Easy ones, with non-perishable food in them. Perhaps your list is something like this: spaghetti, chili with cornbread, potato chowder, chicken parmesan, lasagna, cheesy chicken and rice, sloppy joes, Italiantuna salad with orzo, refried bean burritos, Indian dahl . . . . whatever your family enjoys. SEVEN meals. Multiply by two – to make fourteen meals. Break each meal into a recipe shopping list like for instance, your recipe for spaghetti might call for one package of spaghetti, two cans of tomato sauce, a pound of ground beef, an onion and some herbs – write it down. Multiply that by two. Add double of each of those ingredients to your shopping list. Go to your next meal. Perhaps your recipe for lasagna calls for one package lasagna noodles, one large can of tomato sauce, one pound of ground beef, one onion, garlic, one pound of mozzarella cheese, one container of cottage cheese and some spinach. Multiply that list by two. Two meals down.
What other meals does your family enjoy? Write up your shopping list, and as you can afford those ‘extra’ items necessary to make the meals, purchase them. Easy peasy. You’ve got two weeks worth of dinners stored. Add breakfast items like porridge, pancake ingredients, juice, etc.
Either of those methods are a great place to start small. But don’t stop there. Once you’ve got two weeks packed away, reset your goal to one month, Then three months. Then six months. Then one year. It’s a process. Celebrate each milestone, and then push toward the next goal. I promise, you’ll feel great about your progress and success. This is easier than you thought.
4. Where to get it from?
For the most part, you’ll want to buy the majority of your food storage items wherever you normally buy your groceries. That is where you’re comfortable. You know what they have, and what you like. Bulk stores or wholesale outlets are good resources for those items you want to buy in larger amounts.
Ask around. There might be places around that you don’t necessarily frequent. Open your eyes and your mind to try new things and new sources. You might find some great resources on line, to have delivered right to your door. While I am all about shopping locally, there are some food items I cannot buy locally. Those, I am happy to be able to order them in.
The industry leaders in the freeze dried world is undoubtedly THRIVE LIFE. They are the largest company in North America, with the biggest variety. Available in United States and Canada at this time.
5. How to afford it?
You afford it by starting small. You buy when you’re shopping already, a little here and a little there, just add a few more cans. Make whatever sacrifices you need to in order to ‘afford’ it. If you’re eating out once in a while, consider how much you could have added to your food storage with what that meal cost you. If you’re in the habit of buying junk food, consider how much real food that bag of chips or candy could have been converted into. Affording important things sometimes requires adjustments. Do what you need to do to accomplish your goal.
Investing large chunks of money will bulk up your food storage of course, but you don’t have to spend a lot to build it up. Just spend with a purpose, and spend differently. Using the illustration above, let’s assume my food budget was $600 a month. By re-allocating 1/3 of that budget into freeze dried foods (beginning with those I often waste), and continuing to spend the remaining 2/3 in my usual way, I slowly begin to introduce food that has zero waste, and long shelf life. As I began substituting the food I used to waste for freeze dried food that I will never waste, my grocery dollar started going a lot further. Within only a couple of months I noticed that by no longer wasting food, I actually saved money. No trim, no spoilage, no waste = saved money. More to invest into more food storage.
Having said that, for most of our parenting years we received tax refunds in the spring. We most often used those lump sums to bulk up on food storage – always watching the sales of course.
6. How to store it? and Where to store it?
Ideally, most foods should be stored in relative cool, with little temperature fluctuation. A shed outside? Absolutely NOT! Unheated garage? Depends where you live. If you can find a place where you can SEE what you’ve got, it will be a lot easier to use it, keeping it properly rotated. Underneath your stairs? Convert a closet?
Frozen food is not food storage. Yes, it is convenient and I wouldn’t want to do without my freezer, but anything that is as dependent on something completely beyond your control – like a freeze is dependent on power, is not something you can count on. Resist the temptation to invest a lot of money in frozen food.
*for more information on storage ideas, click here
7. How long will it last?
Go with accepted shelf life recommendations, and yes, I know you can push them a bit when they’re “best before” dates. But use those dates as a good guideline for trying to consume the food within. Frozen food – 3 months – 6 months – up to a year at most for some items. Canned food – 2 years. Dehydrated food – 1 to 2 years. Freeze dried food – 25 years.
8. How to prepare it? and Where to find the time to prepare it?
If you’re using food you generally use every day, you’ll have that pretty well sorted out. If you’re trying to incorporate some more shelf stable foods, then I highly recommend you start using them today to have all that figured out before a time of need. Remember – Store what you eat, and EAT what you store.
If time is an issue for meal prep now, welcome to the club. Preparing a meal with traditional food storage items like wheat and dried beans can be difficult when utilities may not be available. Using canned and dehydrated foods may be easier and less time consuming. Freeze dried foods are very quick to refresh and to prepare. Freeze dried meals that require only water to prepare, can be ready in about 10 minutes. That’s NO cooking. Very convenient in emergencies.
* a little about Freeze Dried Food It wasn’t that long ago that it was so new most people had never heard of it. Today it is readily available, being a fast growing industry in the food world. It IS the future. I firmly believe it is the answer to the problem of food waste in North America, and it is the vehicle people can use to secure a high quality, nutritious, long term food storage.
9. How to rotate it to keep it ‘fresh’? and how not to waste it?
Proper rotation is critical to a good quality food storage. So many buy food storage specifically for “food storage”, never intending to eat it. They say “Food storage is food storage and groceries are groceries.” The problem with that philosophy is, that your food storage gets dated while you’re not paying attention. And pretty soon, its nutritional value is questionable. You must pay attention. And using the food regularly ensures you stay on top of it. Storing it in the boxes, under beds and tucked away in closets makes rotation difficult. Remember the rule – Store what you eat, and EAT what you store. Abiding by that rule will keep your food fresh, and reduce any potential for waste.
Buying emergency food with the intention of sticking it in a hole in the ground in case of some zombie apocalypse is a good way to waste a lot of food, and a lot of money. No food will last forever. And there are a lot of real life emergencies that happen in the process of living, that can be relieved by a simple, well managed food storage. Imagine not having to worry about buying groceries for a week, or a month! Wouldn’t that take a lotta stress out of an already difficult situation?
10. Will my family / children eat it?
Some believe that when our kids are hungry they’ll eat anything. I suppose if they really are THAT hungry. But let’s hope we never get there. What about when you’re just trying to navigate a temporary interruption in income? Trying to make the best of a less than ideal situation? Familiarity is precisely why we should incorporate food storage items into our daily meals.
I discovered freeze dried foods when most of my children were already grown and gone, so most of them learned about it from an arm’s length distance. Some of my grandchildren however, have learned more up close and personally. My favourite example of this is my grandson Charlie.
When Charlie was a year old, he began spending a few days a week at our house while his mom worked. As he began eating finger foods, freeze dried blueberries were a healthy and delicious food to start out with. He loved them, and ate a lot! At one point, his parents wanted to increase the amount of calcium in his diet so they asked me to give him a glass of milk with lunch. One day while I was feeding him – with a glass of milk nearby, I thought about other excellent sources of calcium. Foods like fish, nuts, kale, eggs, broccoli . . . BROCCOLI. I had some freeze dried broccoli in my pantry. Whether he would like it or not remained to be seen – its a far cry from tasting like blueberries.
I retrieved the broccoli and showed it to him. I opened it up and took a piece out, ate it while he watched, then showed him the contents of the can and offered it to him. He took one and put it in his mouth. As he chewed, I half expected him to spit it out – I wasn’t even sure how many teeth he had. But he did not. When he finished it he asked for more. I gave him more, and he asked for more. And then more. And more. It was the beginning of a good thing. I encouraged his appetite for freeze dried broccoli, including it with every meal. I began calling him “Broccoli Boy”, and I even gave him small cans of it to eat in the car and at home. Those early exposures helped him develop a taste for freeze dried food, which is perfect, because its here to stay.
The point is, that Broccoli Boy wasn’t born on a different planet, transported here to become Broccoli Boy. He was molded and formed to become one, right here on earth. I created that alter ego, by introducing him to that wonderful, crunchy source of calcium early on. It made the perfect companion to his enjoyment of other ‘crunchy’ freeze dried fruits and vegetables.
Will your kids like the food? I think you can take it from Broccoli Boy. They will.
Learning to use foods that are less familiar to you – like freeze dried food, will make all the difference. Your family will be surprised to find out how delicious and satisfying it is. Exposing your kids to it early is very helpful. They get used to it. Again, its that ol’ familiarity thing right? Freeze dried food is easy to use, but it does require you to flip a switch in your brain. So flip the switch! Get used to it. It is the perfect food to insert into your Food Storage.
I’d love to hear ideas that worked for you when you first started out with your Food Storage. Or some of your favourite food storage items and or recipes. Or if you haven’t started yet, I’d love to hear about your journey. You can comment below.
Face it – by the end of August, we cannot deny the inevitable any longer. Growth has slowed down, fruit and vegetables are ripening, plants are drying out and going to seed. They’re all doing what nature intends for us all to do at certain times – get ready for bed.
In the spring, we’re all excited about our gardens, but tucking our gardens in for the winter is an important step that is often missed entirely. When the weather gets colder and things stop growing, we lose interest in being in the garden, but missing this final seasonal detail is a mistake. It’s tempting to be a bit lazy, and I get it. Its dark earlier, weather isn’t great, dead and dying perennials are kinda hard to get excited about. But don’t fall for it. Your garden NEEDS you. Putting your garden to bed is an important step in it’s health next spring. Come on, give yourself one more final push, then you can both rest in the winter – guilt free.
There have been years I’ve tried extending the season by planting things like spinach at the end of August hoping for a late crop. There have been years I’ve tried to extend the season by heating the greenhouse into the fall. But the simple truth is, we don’t have the sun for it in Alberta. In September, we have the same amount of sun as we do in March. No matter how many nights you heat the greenhouse in September, you cannot fake the sun during the day, and plants need sun. You’d have more success extending the season by planting earlier in the season than you would extending the season in the fall. Winter has its purpose, it isn’t the great enemy of gardeners that we sometimes make it out to be. My opinion? Give it up. Let fall be fall. And get on with your life. BUT. Put your garden to bed first! So you can both rest comfortably.
late summer bouquet
What to get rid of and what not to get rid of? That is the question.
By September, there are always a bunch of dead and dying plants, some that seem to be coming into their own, and of course lots of weeds going to seed. Some gardeners follow the philosophy of clearing everything out and leaving a nice tidy garden bed. I don’t have anything quite so tidy as a “garden bed” in my yard. I have lots of planted space but its not all together. I have perennial flower beds on all four sides of the house, sunny flower beds, shady flower beds, some flower beds under trees, some tucked into shady corners. I have repurposed horse troughs, a currant patch, rhubarb patch, raspberry patch, grapes, fruit trees dispersed throughout, a dedicated herb garden and three raised beds for edibles, with edibles planted here and there among flowers and herbs. There are still tomatoes trying to ripen and root vegetables that are doing just fine where they are for now. Every garden has its own needs. But there are some rules of thumb that I apply to all.
1. Clean up
There is plenty of debate in this area ranging all the way from getting rid of everything to leaving it all for spring clean up, and everywhere in between. I’ve listened to much of it, applied the counsel that made sense to me, and in the end, I’ve come up with my own pattern that I’m happy with. Truth is however, that sometimes life gets in the way, and you simply don’t ‘get to it’ in time. Don’t beat yourself up when that happens; there will be other years to do it better. But for now, here’s the ‘general’ plan. Keep in mind that life is about compromise and there are exceptions to every rule.
First of all get rid of the dead stuff. That’s a natural. For the most part: if its dead pull it out. Throw it into the compost. exceptions: If some of the weeds have roots or seeds or perhaps a plant has a disease – you don’t want to risk taking that into next year by putting them into your backyard compost, so either get rid of them in *the garbage or *Burn them! Otherwise, into the compost they go. (for more information on backyard composting click here) If it’s a perennial that has died back, cut it off at the ground.
Annuals are easy. Just pull them out and throw them into the compost. Most of the time, I throw big piles of compostables on the lawn. We mow them up and throw them into the compost, or into some of the beds that could use them. When I say ‘we’, I mean of course ‘Dan’. Getting rid of dead plants and other debris removes winter shelter for pests, preventing future problems next spring. There are some diseases that can overwinter. You don’t want that lingering over into a fresh new start in the spring time; if there is disease – get it outta there. Getting rid of weeds at the end of the season gets rid of their seeds and roots, reducing their annoyance next spring. Yes I know they’re no longer visibly causing a problem, but they’re going to seed or developing strong root systems (sneaky little jerks), so get rid of them.
RULE: *Healthy plants – even weeds – compost them. In my books there are good weeds and bad weeds. Good weeds to me, are weeds that we eat and that I don’t mind propagating next year, like chickweed and lambs quarters. (see Making Friends with your Weeds) Bad weeds are stupid weeds like Trailing Bellflower (devil-weed), or rooty weeds like dandelions, horse radish, and thistle – those I do not compost. Or other weeds that make a lotta seeds. Yes I know that compost may take care of most of these problems . . . but I usually don’t risk it. There are very few plants I feel the need to eradicate, so I’m not gonna waste time feeling guilty about them. They should feel guilty for disappointing me so much. *Unhealthy plants – get rid of them. No exceptions. And not into your compost.
Remove tender summer-flowering bulbs such as dahlias and store them in your cold room or garage for planting next season. I personally have never brought my dahlias in for the winter, I just buy more in the spring, but this year I am in love with the dahlias I grew, so I’m gonna give it a try. Besides, I figure since I fuss for my geraniums, it can’t be much different. (see below for the geraniums)
But what about the plants that are not dead? I cannot bear to kill things that want to live so much that they thrive in the inhospitable dryness, reduced light and chilly nights of early fall. Those are the things I don’t get rid of. I still water them when needed and in return, they do what they do best – gladden my heart. They will die on their own when the cold of late October makes it impossible for them to do otherwise. I leave them where they are because they will trap snow which will protect all around them, and help with needed moisture when the snow melts in the spring.
There are also good bugs that need shelter in the winter, like lady bugs and their friends. So don’t clear everything out, find some balance.
RULE: get rid of the uglies – keep the beautiful; get rid of the sick and dead – keep the healthy and strong
2. Fall Planting
Fall planting is a way of taking advantage of the earliest that spring has to offer. SPINACH: Planting spinach in the fall before the snow flies, should give you an early yield. Select a spot that is protected, but that will get good sun in April and May. Lightly sow a patch of spinach. Throughout the winter, ensure it has a good covering of snow. When the warmth of April days melts the snow in some nice sunny spots, your spinach seed will sprout. They are not afraid of cold. They’ll just patiently wait till conditions are better and then start growing again.
DILL, POPPIES, CALENDULA and other herb and flower seeds can be sown at the time of harvest to pop up in the earliest days of May. Simply broadcast them in your desire spots and let nature do what she does best. The seeds need a winter, and protective snow.
Some plants that inadvertently get left in the garden, may resurrect in the spring. My rule of thumb is to let most things that want to grow – grow. You may have a sage plant that comes back, lemon balm, parsley, even kale. You may have volunteer lettuce plants start to grow because something went to seed last fall.
GARLIC: Plant your garlic before the ground freezes to harvest at the end of next summer.
Spring Bulbs. Yes I know fall is the time to plant daffodils and more tulips etc for spring blooms. I’m sorry. I’ve got nothing to offer here. I aspire to plant more bulbs in the fall, but its just one thing that I rarely find time for.
3. Bring them in
Some plants might be healthy enough to bring indoors. I always bring in some geraniums (see below), and often bring in a rosemary plant. I’ve tried lots of other herbs, but I simply don’t have the sun for them. If you have a beautiful sunny window, I strongly encourage giving them a try indoor. Prune down to about 1/2 its original size, trimming off everything brown. Shake the old soil off to get rid of any unwelcome hitch hikers, and maybe even rinse the roots off. Then replant in fresh soil, water well and set in your sunniest window.
GERANIUMS. I love geraniums, and they love me back. Red ones. Only red ones. I’ve tried other colours, but I kept coming back to red, and now I don’t bother with any other colour when I know that it’s red I really want. Their bright vibrant flowers cheer me all spring and summer long. At the end of it, I cannot bear to kill them, or let them them die while they’re still trying so hard to make the world a better place. So I bring them inside. In actual fact, though we think of them as annuals, geraniums are actually ‘tender’ perennials, and will tolerate temperatures down to about 7°C while still actively growing. That is truly heroic. Another reason I love them. I’ll bring two or three into the house and let them live in a sunny window all winter long. Their favourite temperature is between 12°- 18°C, which is ideal for in-house if you’ve got enough light. However, I find that in the winter even though I have a south facing bay window, winter sun is just not very impressive and they stop flowering shortly after they get moved inside. And by about January they start to get quite ‘leggy’. I just trim them as needed to try to keep them content. Its the least I could do for all the joy they bring me outside for five months.
geraniums at season’s end, still being beautiful
But I cannot invite all my geraniums into the living room, so I do something else. I put my three wooden window boxes in the garage. Ours is a heated garage though its usually pretty chilly out there. We only turn the furnace on when Dan’s working on a project, but apparently it fine for geraniums. Before a killer frost (so sometime mid to late September), I will hard prune the plants by about one third to one half, removing any dead, damaged or unhealthy parts. I check for stupid aphids (I hate aphids) or other problem critters or disease. I water deeply, then I put them up on a shelf in the garage, kinda out of the way but not so much out of the way that I forget they’re there.
I give them a drink of water a few times – maybe every 4-6 weeks. If they’re too outta sight, I’ll forget to water them, and even though they’re mostly dormant, they still need a little moisture now and again. By about March they start responding to the little bit of light they get from a frosted window and miraculously they start to green up. I am always amazed that they do this, and I regard it as one of nature’s miracles. It’s still cold outside, with snow and ice, but they start being true to their calling in life. March has about the same amount of sun as September. I take this new growth as a sign to give them more to drink. By mid April, I can start letting them sit outside on nice days, giving them more water. This gradually gets them used to outdoor light and regular watering. I don’t put them outside permanently till after May 1, and even after that I put a cloth over top if I expect freezing night time temperatures. I can’t risk losing them that late in the game.
I trim them back as needed, give them some healthy mulch and all purpose fertilizer, and we go right back to being old friends. They’re grateful to be back in their rightful place, and I’m grateful to have them. They resume bringing me joy, and I resume my supportive role as their care-giver.
Some garden herbs: I’ve tried pretty much all herbs in the house for winter and I just don’t have enough light, even with my south facing bay window. Yes, I know I can use grow lights, but most of my plants are in the living room, and I don’t want grow lights in there all winter long. There are some though, that seem to do better than others.
*ROSEMARY: I often bring a rosemary plant indoors. In fact for several years I’ve kept one in a pot that I moved in and out, but eventually I lost it by letting it dry out. It’s surprising how much water herbs require in the dry climate of a house in winter. If you have a particularly happy healthy rosemary plant, go ahead and dig it up. Trim it down by about half, remove the soil and gently rinse off the plant and roots. Be sure the pot is clean, and you’re using fresh soil, then transplant into its new home and bring it inside. Keep it in the sunniest spot and water when the soil surface feels dry to the touch.
*BAY LAUREL: I have a bay laurel plant I bring in and out and in and out, for about 8 years now. I am very invested in keeping this plant safe. I had a couple near misses this last year with it, but we weathered the storm together. I keep it in the same pot, so I’m not digging it up, but this year I was particularly careful about cleaning it. I trimmed all the ‘iffy’ branches or leaves (anything that wasn’t pristine), removed it from its pot, removed all the soil, gently rinsed the roots of all old soil and washed the pot. Then I transplanted it back into its original but cleaned up pot, and brought it back inside. It’s very happy.
*CUBAN OREGANO: Unlike regular oregano cuban oregano won’t survive our winter, so its best suited in a pot where it can come inside for the winter. Give it a sunny spot and it’s an easy-to-grow house plant that will be your friend for years with just a little care and attention. A member of the mint family, and often referred to as Mexican mint, it has characteristic thick, fuzzy leaves with a strong pleasing odor. Water when the soil surface feels dry to the touch.
4. gleaning – the final harvest
It’s true that in Sept and October, late fruits and vegetables are ready to harvest. Root crops like carrots, beets and potatoes; fruits like apples, plums and grapes. Some apples and plums may be ready in August, others in September or October. Generally, the grapes we grow in the Edmonton area are ready in September after the weather cools a little.
*BUT – There are hidden harvests that often get missed. Just open your eyes.
Gardens don’t cease to bless your lives just because its autumn.
dill seed ready to harvest
If you grew DILL this year, you probably have some that has gone to seed. Go get it. Pull the plant out of the ground, cut the head off and put it in a bowl. Shake or brush the seeds off the plant into the bowl. Broadcast a handful where you want dill next year, and gather the rest to save for more deliberate planting in the spring. Yes, there are many ways to use it in the kitchen if you have enough. I’ll admit it, I rarely allow my dill to go to seed, except for a few delegated plants off to the side. I do this because aphids usually accompany dill when it goes to seed, and I hate aphids. But this year, I had a ton of dill – way way way over planted. I picked all the green ferny dill weed that I could use, gave plenty away, and still had too many dill plants all going to seed at the same time. I watched for aphids but didn’t see anything excessive. I let them ripen, ever watchful, but I never saw a problem, so I proceeded. Lucky me, I got lots of dill seed to grow next year, and lots to bring into the house. Store your seed in a paper envelop, labelled and dated.
POPPIES. If you’re not growing poppies you’re missing out on one of nature’s loveliest offerings. Beautiful before they flower. Gorgeous iconic papery flowers. And just as beautiful in the late summer after they’ve gone to seed. You’ll know the seed is ripe when you can hear it rattle inside the seed pod. At that point, pull the plant out of the ground and turn upside down into a bowl. Shake the seeds out. Broadcast the seed from two or three heads at most (that’s a LOT of poppies) where you want them to grow next year, and save the rest for poppy seed bread, muffins, cake, cookies and salad dressing. BEANS and peas that didn’t get picked in time, are ripening and drying. When they’re fully developed, pick them and store them for seed next year, in a marked and dated paper envelop or lunch bag. CHIVES and GARLIC CHIVES have gone to seed, producing thousands of little black seeds. You can let them fall and have a million little chive plants growing everywhere next year, or you can harvest the seed to sprinkle on bread or over top other dishes. *hint: they’re entirely edible, but don’t expect too much in the way of flavour. GARLIC. Mid September is the time to harvest garlic, and to plant more. KALE is planted in various places throughout my yard. In the vegetable garden, in the rhubarb patch, the asparagus patch, and interspersed among perineal flowers and herbs. A few here and a few there. One or two act as a trap crop for annoying pests – thank you for your sacrifice. They’ll get eaten by chickens (who bytheway enjoy annoying pests). Don’t worry, I’ve got others. Kale is hardy, and even in September, it’s on stage doing a full encore. Beautiful. How can you not love kale? I pick it every few days to add to dinner, and if I pick more than we need, I dehydrate it. Super simple. Just strip leaves off the stems, wash and chop to put in the dehydrator. When dry, store in a jar to use all winter long. This spring I had an unexpected surprise. A kale plant over wintered and started producing harvestable kale by mid May. I let it do its own thing and as time when on, it began to flower and go to seed. So by September I have a lot of beautiful ripe kale seed in pods. A gift. NASTURTIUMS have been giving all season long. But as much as I used their greens and flowers, some flowers always get left behind to go to seed. This is good, as I am all about collecting seed right now. SWEET PEAS are annual climbing flowers, that are so bright and cheerful, and hardy that they can be friends with everyone. I’ve always thought they should be spring or at least early summer flowers, but they do best, as summer progresses into August. They’ll go to seed if you let the last few flowers ripen. Easy to collect. I highly recommend starting them in-doors well ahead of growing season. This year (2022) is the first year I’ve let mine go to seed so that I can plant inside next April. The pods look very similar to pea pods (who’d suspected right? lol), and as they ripen the seeds are so perfect that it would have been a shame not to collect them. Having said that, if you wait to long, they’ll open and drop their seeds, but I have yet to have had one survive the winter and volunteer in the spring. SUNFLOWERS are ripening. Cut the smaller flowers for kitchen bouquets, but let the bigger ones ripen. If the seeds are still immature (white), but a nice size, bring them in, they’re delicious in salads and stir fries as a vegetable. If they’re big heads, share some with the birds over the winter. I leave them face up in several different places throughout the yard where wild birds like to hang out when its cold. Our favourite place is just outside our kitchen window where we can enjoy watching them all winter long. Its a win-win.
Lots of herbs are still doing beautifully, but its time to cut them down for the last time and bring them in for winter use. Sage, rosemary, tarragon, stevia, mint of course, lemon balm, oregano, thyme, parsley, lemon verbena, . . . My lavender gave me some late sprigs to add to what has already been harvested. Thank you Lavender.
Look around you – there is more bounty than you may have expected.
5. Mulch and other ‘protection‘
Everybody likes a comfy blanket. In gardens we call it ‘mulch’.
homemade patchwork quilt
My mom, throwing an additional blanket over top of me in bed on a cold winter’s night, is a comforting childhood memory. It provided a little weight, and that weight provided warmth.
Our gardens would appreciate an additional insulating blanket against the harshness of winter too. Some plants might be a little sensitive to the bitter cold of some winters that we have no control over and cannot always predict, but sometimes its simply a matter of protecting the bare soil and friendly critters in it. What kind of blanket? Nice clean fallen leaves that are so plentiful in the fall, is a perfect mulch. Between one to three inches is recommended. In the absence of leaves, the final mowing of dried grass would be good, or chopped/mowed up straw. Don’t use wood chips in the garden; they detract from the soil long before they can possibly add to it.
In addition to protecting the soil and plants in it, mulch slowly adds nutrients and humus. Humus is the Latin world for ‘earth’ or ‘ground. It refers to that dark organic matter in soil which comes from the decomposition of plants and animal matter. That a good thing because it improves soil structure, aeration, and water holding capabilities. Aeration reduces the compaction of soil, allowing roots to take up nutrients and spread out healthily.
Leaves or straw won’t magically disappear over the winter, miraculously becoming humus. Some of it will still be quite identifiable as leaves and straw in the spring, but some (the bottom layer) has begun to decompose. I simply rake off the identifiables and mow them up with the first mowings of spring to be used to as a top layer in an area I want to amend, as mulch between rows, or the beginning of this year’s compost. A good winter’s mulch is a beautiful start in prepping your soil for spring. Just sayin’ . . . . .
winter protection from foraging animals
Most urban yards don’t suffer too much from animals like deer foraging over the winter, but rabbits can be a problem. They ate the bark from my daughter’s lilac tree a few winters ago, and killed it. If you live in an area where rabbits might be an issue for you, wrap the bottom three or four feet loosely with chicken wire. Why so high? When the snow is deep and the rabbit is sitting on top of the snow, that is where they’ll be nibbling.
tips to remember 1. Disease is not something you want to add to your compost. Get rid of those plants. Either burn them or garbage them. 2. Roots like trailing bell flower, horse radish and dandelion, and seeds like thistle are not things you want in your compost. Get rid of them. Either burn them or garbage them. 3. Its helpful to mow up your bigger pieces before putting them into your compost. This speeds up the process of breaking down, a good thing.
6. Watering trees in late autumn keeps them healthy and strong
clockwise from upper left: Red Elderberry, Spruce, Honeycrisp Apple, Evans Sour Cherry
While your trees are dropping their leaves, or just after, they would appreciate a good long drink. Give both evergreen and deciduous trees a long, slow, deep watering. This is important, but the timing is particular. Too early might signal the tree toward new growth and may slow the onset of dormancy. Dormancy is not a light switch, it is a progressive stage allowing trees to prepare for colder weather and eventual freeze up. Too late (after the ground freezes) prevents the water from seeping into the soil and reaching the feeder roots. How will you know when the time is right? Look to your trees. Deciduous (leafy) trees will tell you the time is right when their leaves have fallen. This will also be your hint to water their neighbours, the evergreen trees. Because evergreens don’t go into full dormancy, they will actively use water throughout the year, except for when its really cold, so its even more important that they get a good watering in the fall.
Don’t water mature trees right up near the trunk, as the roots that need water will be further out – closer to where the canopy of the tree extends. The exception to this rule is newly planted trees who’s roots might still be close to the initial root ball.
Put your hose on the ground and water slowly so that the water doesn’t puddle on the surface. You’re looking to moisten the top foot of soil around the perimeter of the ‘drip line’ (distance from the trunk to as far as the outside branches reach). “Moisten” does not mean “soggy”. Testing the moisture level is easy – insert a wooden stick or a metal rod into the soil. Where the soil is moist, the stake should slide in easily. When it meets with resistance, that signifies to you that the soil is dry. You’re looking for about a foot of moistened soil. Anything deeper is of no value and is wasted.
Watering earlier in the day gives the roots time to absorb the moisture before the temperature drops at night.
Bonus tip 1. Protect your garden tools and equipment
Hold on! You’re not done yet. I know its tempting to just go inside when the cold hits and shut the door, but pay attention to your tools. They deserve it. Whether you have a garden shed or space in the garage, or box in the basement – use it. Don’t leave your clippers or spade outside to rust.
Tools: Clean them and put them in a box. Seed trays and pots: Wash them and store them where they’ll be easy to retrieve in the late winter or early spring when you’ll need them. Maintenance: Now is the time to fix those annoying little things that have needed patching all summer long.
Bonus tip 2. Garden journal
Hopefully you’ve been keeping a garden journal all along, but if you haven’t right now would be a good time to start one. Record the dates you harvested this or that, and the general yield. Record the temperatures in these close out days for reference next year. Record the seeds you harvested. Make sure you store them in paper envelopes, labelled and dated. Record your successes and failures and your ideas for fixing them next year – while they’re still fresh in your mind. I promise you will not remember them otherwise. Record what varieties did well, and what did not, what you’ll be sure to repeat and what you will not. Maybe you are an avid journaler, maybe you’re more of a casual note taker, but whatever you are – DO SOMETHING. I promise you’ll be happy you did when you go to reference it next spring.
stand back and enjoy the immense satisfaction of a “job well done” . . .
In my case its a challenge to even know where to begin when its time to wrap things up for the season. I rarely have two or three days that I can devote to the work of putting my garden to bed, and my ‘gardens’ are all over the yard, full of perennials. I catch a few hours here and there to go out and work, but the job is pretty overwhelming when you’re doing it in pieces. I find the only way I can proceed with any feeling of accomplishment is if I start in one corner and proceed in a single direction. ‘Finishing a piece’ with no intention of coming back to it till spring, helps me systematically make it through the whole yard.
Standing back to admire what you’ve done once in awhile is satisfying. Standing back when you’re ALL done, is immensely satisfying, but the truth is, there are seasons, that I never completely make it through the whole yard. Yes, I wish I had, but life simply gets busy and sometimes the snow comes before I am ready for it. Nothing to do in that case, but get on with my life, and try to do better next year.
*hint: don’t wait till its COLD and the job is horrible. On September 1, you KNOW cold days are coming. Start the job of putting your garden to bed while the weather is still pleasant – removing (or pruning back) those plants that have already given you everything they have to give, and deserve their rest.
Good Night Garden. Enjoy your rest. I’ll enjoy mine.
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experiences about getting your garden ready for bed and tucking it in for the winter, as well as your comments on some of the things discussed here.
Welllll, maybe I don’t absolutely love all of the ‘verb‘ part of it. But I like what it yields. I like the feeling of everything being clean. And I like it enough to do the work necessary to make it a reality. I like the freshness of knowing the medicine cabinet and bathroom cupboards are wiped down and organized, and the mirrors are polished, and corners are wiped clean.
I like dejunking – getting rid of things we really shouldn’t be keeping anymore anyway. I like that the fridge is clean inside and out, that behind it is is clean too. I like the look of a freshly oiled table and sideboard, and the bright clean look of all surfaces that have been oiled. I like clean windows. The truth is, I’m not especially fond of the actual cleanING part – but very fond of the CLEAN part, and so far, in my life – there’s only one way to the desired destination. If I was rich, I’d probably hire someone to come in and do those deep cleaning jobs for me, or at least help me so that I could just skip ahead to the wonderful adjective version of ‘clean’ and not have to wade thru the verb version of it. . . . .
I have many memories of spring cleaning when our kids were home. Some of them are good. Oh well. I guess they’re all kinda good. I just had some lazy-butt kids when it came to spring cleaning, who didn’t always catch the vision of the satisfaction that comes from a job well done. Often times I wondered if the pain of forced labour was worth the price I had to pay for it, but I usually didn’t let that interfere. Especially if they ticked me off.
We made it a habit to use the week of spring-break for spring-cleaning. And by ‘we’, I mean the ‘royal we’ of course. As in – ME. “I” made it a habit to use the week of spring break for spring cleaning. “They” didn’t have much choice. It wasn’t a popular idea, but it had its advantages. I created a list of what needed to be done. The first person who got off their butts to get started, got their choice of jobs, the last person got what nobody else wanted. And of course, their rooms – that went without saying. Everybody over 8 was responsible for their own rooms. Each job was calculated to take the better part of a day to complete. Nothing else could be done during spring break till your job was finished. That should have worked better as an incentive than it often did. There were times when certain individuals spent the whole time feeling sorry for themselves and then the week was done, and they never did get to enjoy their week off school. And then, having wasted their entire spring break getting to do nothing they wanted, they ‘really’ felt sorry for themselves. And they thought I should too. But I didn’t. I just felt sorry for me. And the pain they put me through while they moaned and complained about the injustice of it all.
And now, all these years later, they’re all gone and they have kids of their own, and they can figure out what they want to do about spring cleaning. There are options of course: 1) do nothing and get zero results, 2) be the martyr and do it all yourself, never training your kids how to clean and find joy in a freshly cleaned house, 3) find ways to motivate your family to pitch in and do their part, 4) prevent the need for spring cleaning, by cleaning deeply on a regular basis all year long, which you could do on your own, teaching your kids that some magical fairy godmother is the source of all shiny surfaces, or you could do with the helping hands of those who live in your house. Do I regret being the meanie who made them clean? Nope. Was it easy? Nope. Would I do it again? Yup.
And now, its just me to clean. sigh . . . . and now I have to motivate myself. sigh again . . . . . There are so many other things I’d rather do. But I remind myself: while I don’t especially love the ‘verb‘ part of it, I like what it yields – and there’s only one way to get there.
There are some basic truths that rule life, no matter what culture or religion we come from. One that, whether we like it or not, we’re all subject to – is the “Law of the Harvest“. What exactly is that? Well, it is very simple and straight forward – essentially “We reap what we sow“. One of life’s great lessons.
Joy of the Harvest by Simon Dewey
A cousin of the Law of the Harvest is “the LAW OF ATTRACTION” which, simply put, is that “like energy attracts like energy”. A negative, complaining type of person always has something to complain about because they find the negative in everything, while a positive, cheerful person always finds the good to be happy about. I’m sure we all can think of examples of both types of people, and can acknowledge that they create self fulfilling realities for themselves. The law of attraction however, goes further. It is based on the idea that people and thoughts are made up of pure energy and that not only can a person attract positive or negative experiences through their positive or negative thoughts and affirmations, but that the process can literally improve one’s health, wealth and personal relationships. I believe this. To a certain extent. But I feel there is a critical component missing.
Let me explain. Harvest is a natural law, a tangible, physical, visual, easy-to-understand law. It says that harvest always comes after a season of sowing. Every farmer and backyard gardener understands the intimate relationship of sowing and reaping. And it is an analogy that transcends beautifully into all aspects of our lives, including spiritual applications.
“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.” Galations 6: 7
In 1903, British philosopher James Allen published a book that he called AS A MAN THINKETH. It is based on Psalm 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he“, and follows the process of the mind guiding our footsteps as we progress along the pathway of life. “Purity of mind leads inevitably to purity of life, to the precious love and understanding that should control our everyday acts and attitudes towards friends and foes.” he wrote, and his life exemplified his philosophy.
James Allen, author of As a Man Thinketh
Born into a working class family in England, James was the older of two brothers. His mother could neither read nor write. His father was a factory knitter. In 1879, following a downturn in the textile trade of central England, James’ father travelled alone to America to find work and establish a new home for the family. Within the first two days of arriving in New York City, his father was killed, believed to be a victim of robbery and murder. At the tender age of fifteen, James was forced to leave school and find work to support his family.
Having a better education than either of his parents, he eventually found work as a private secretary in several British manufacturing companies, and by his early thirties, was earning his living in journalism and reporting. He married, and found an occupation writing for a magazine where he could rely upon his spiritual and social interests and skill as a writer. This provided him the time and opportunity to be creative, and he published his first of many books, including “As a Man Thinketh”. James and his wife Lily, had only one daughter Nora. He died at the untimely young age of only 47, having written several books, and leaving material that would be published into several more. His words have had a positive impact on generations, and they illustrate the use of the power of thought to increase personal capabilities. Although he personally never achieved great fame or wealth, his words continue more than a century later, to influence people around the world.
The underlying premise of “As a Man Thinketh”, is that noble thoughts make a noble person, while lowly thoughts make a miserable person. Truly, he knew of that which he wrote. A lesser man could easily have let his difficult beginnings pull him down into a defeated life, but against all odds he rose above it. What he learned through a lifetime of application, was that purity of mind can bring happiness and confidence. By magic? By some miraculous process of magnetism? Not at all. But through hard work, and by applying guiding principles that he learned through heartfelt searching. No doubt his father’s tragic death and his family’s economic hardship shaped his future development. He observed that many people were trying to improve their worldly position without seeking spiritual betterment, when he had learned the opposite was true: that by seeking spiritual betterment one gained the power to improve worldly position. He didn’t teach about getting rich, or seeking power, except as it applied to personal empowerment to ACT. And it was through acting upon the truths he learned, that he created a good and fulfilling life for himself and his family.
Through his book, James Allen pointed the true way to a better life. “Out of a clean heart comes a clean life and a clean body,” he wrote, and likewise “Out of a defiled mind proceeds a defiled life and a corrupt body.”
James Allen may have introduced the concept of the law of attraction, but since then, it’s taken a turn that I kinda doubt he would be proud to be connected with. In its basic form – to me, the principle of attraction sidetracks at best, the part God plays in our betterment. For some reason, it seems to attribute the attraction of good to some mystic force of the universe, some inner energy without a name. It circumvents the missing piece of the puzzle. That piece is ACTION. Action follows intent. Intent alone – no matter how much energy we spend thinking about it, is insufficient to bring about change necessary for a different result.
Viktor Frankl – neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, author, and Holocaust survivor
Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl proved that while we cannot always alter the outer forces of our experiences, we can determine the type of person we allow ourselves to become. He said “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” Viktor Frankl and James Allen could have been great friends if they had lived in the world at the same time. Each of them was influenced by their unique and tragic circumstances, and yet rose above them. Neither pretended it was easy, but their ‘thinking’ ultimately changed their lives.
And that brings us back to where I began – THE LAW OF THE HARVEST. It is a foundational gospel truth. One that we can count on to apply in all aspects of our lives. Yes, it is possible from time to time, for our harvest to be slightly delayed, tricking us into thinking we got away with something. But in the end it always catches up, and we WILL reap what we sow; in the end, we WILL get what we deserve.
That isn’t a threat, and it certainly isn’t always negative, although I admit, sometimes it comes across that way. To every action there is simply a consequence. Years ago, a teacher demonstrated this principle visually for me with a pencil on the table. We may only pick up only one end of the pencil, but the other end is unavoidably affected. We may choose an action, but we cannot choose the consequence. There will always be a consequence, and in many cases that consequence is a pre-selected, natural result – governed by nature.
Ben
I knew a handsome young man once who consistently made poor choices, but rarely seemed to pay their price. I’ll call him Ben. Inevitably Ben’s poor choices would catch up and then pile up, and suddenly some spark would ignite the whole pile, and the world would come crashing down on him in consequence of his latest series of poor choices. Most of those times, Ben chose not to take accountability for the results. It was always easier to blame others, or circumstances beyond his ability to control. Of course, it is more comfortable that way. Not very productive, but a whole lot more comfortable to never accept responsibility for ones failures.
Eventually Ben started making better choices, some might even say – excellent choices. Choices that were difficult, and didn’t show too much comfort in the immediate future, and which required firm resolve and commitment to follow through with them. But the consequences of his previous poor choices had long lasting results and he still had to pay the piper. For a time it seemed that no matter how much he did right, he still lived with the ill consequences of his prior actions. He was still reaping – albeit a little late, the dismal harvest he originally sowed. And ironically, that harvest continued to be in affect a long time after his attitude changed course.
A couple years into these better choices, Ben began to see better results. He had become so accustomed to living with his prior consequences, that he was unprepared when they began to fade into the background. One day he realized his life had taken a turn for the better and he literally marveled at the good place in which he found himself. But it was not by accident, nor coincidence, nor even simply a change of heart. The fact was, that the unfortunate consequences had nearly all run their course, and he was starting to live with the results of his better choices. The natural consequences of THEM. A much fuller harvest.
Specifically, how did the Law of the Harvest apply in Ben’s life? He paid a price for his poor choices. At the time the price seemed disproportionately high to him, and lasted too long, and in some ways, he is still living with the regrets of some of them. But he has placed them in the past and moved forward. When his choices matured, and his actions followed, he began reaping a richer harvest.
Amelia
Amelia is a lovely young mother with a handful of cute kids. Now if you’ve never had four or five kids at the same time, trust me – some days can be challenging, even overwhelming. I get it. And overwhelmed she was. Amelia began to dream of the education she wished she had taken seriously in her younger, pre-mom days. And it became easier to escape into a desire to improve her mind, than it was to take care of her children. She justified it of course, because who can find fault with the desire to improve one’s education? It is a noble goal. But the timing was now difficult. Children aren’t ‘hobbies’. They are living, breathing human beings with personalities and potential. Their health and well being is completely dependent upon their parents. They literally have CLAIM upon us, legally, morally, and eternally.
The truth was, Amelia found reading her ‘lessons’ more fulfilling than doing dishes, changing diapers and cleaning house. She found the things that she was learning were insightful, satisfying, and rewarding. The more she escaped to her studies, the worse life became around the house. Who’s gonna make the meals? Not mom. She’s busy improving her mind. Who’s gonna clean the house, take the kids to school, help them with homework, ensure they get their chores done, learn personal grooming, develop good friendships and interpersonal skills, gain confidence to deal with challenges and to go into the big wide world? Not mom. She’s busy improving her mind and getting the education she wished she got when she was younger. Can you see where this was headed?
The result was a house of chaos, and the more chaotic it became, the more Amelia retreated behind closed doors to study her ‘lessons’ – because after all, she had important things to do. Education was important, and she was choosing it. It made her feel good. It was much more meaningful that the lowliness of housework, and the drudgery of meal planning – both of which as we all know, never-Ever end. But no matter how distracted you are, there are basics that need to be done in any household, especially where there are children. So who was preparing the meals? Doing the laundry? Doing the shopping? It isn’t that Amelia didn’t love her children. Any one could see she did. She simply found it easier to depend on others to rescue her when she so often fell behind. She got used to friends bringing in family meals. Often. She got used to friends coming in and cleaning when the house got away from her. She began thinking it was her ‘due’. She expected it. She couldn’t even count the times her well-meaning friends and neighbours had helped out with various things – trying to lighten her load. Sometimes when the meal wasn’t just right, or it was a few minutes late, or was too similar to what someone else brought recently, she’d even complain. Just a little.
The Law of the Harvest was gonna play out in Amelia’s situation; of that there was never any doubt. In fact, it already was. And it was beginning to look tragic.
If I had a relationship of trust with Amelia, the first thing I would suggest she do, is to visualize what kind of harvest she wants at the end of this metaphorical ‘season’. My guess is that in her heart of hearts, she’d want happy, healthy children – equipped to handle the adult world confidently, who know and love their Heavenly Father, and keep his commandments. I believe she’d want to have a happier marriage, where both she and her spouse were not only contributing active parents, but equal loving partners. If I am right, I might suggest she look at her current actions and ask herself serious questions like: “How is this action going to help my son have a better day in school tomorrow? my daughter be a good friend? show my children that I love them and that home is a safe and happy place? How is this going to help my children grow into the happy, confident individuals I want them to be? How will this help me be a better mother and/or a better spouse, and show my spouse that I value him?” and so forth . . .
If the honest answer to any of these questions is “Its not” then, I might suggest its time to reassess the action. Children grow up all too soon, there will be time for Amelia to catch up on her education. It’s alright for her to lay it aside for the time being and focus on those who need her.
How awful would it be, to finally reach the top of the ladder we spend years climbing, only to find out it is leaning against the wrong wall?
Specifically, how can Amelia use “the Law of the Harvest” to guide her life? Amelia planted tomatoes in the sun, and she waters them when she feels motherly, but she’s expecting others to stake them and prune them.
She could try to understand that as a mother, she owes her children more than she is currently giving them. By nurturing the seeds she’s already sown, she will be investing in a more rewarding harvest at the end of season, with fewer regrets. Taking care of the immediate priority of children now, doesn’t imply that she will never be able to fulfill her dream of getting her degree. Not at all. To everything there is a season. Delaying the harvest of one, for the harvest of another that is more important, and by necessity more immediate – is not failure. It is a conscious choice of priority.
Alex
Alex was a sales rep for a well known tech company. His company was the biggest in the country, and he was one of the top sales reps in his region. His clients were professionals, and he was a man of no small reputation. Some time ago, a competing company hired Alex, thinking to benefit from his experience and success in the field, and perhaps even to gain some of his existing customers.
They soon discovered however, that though he was knowledgeable in his field, he was arrogant and unteachable. They learned that though he could give exemplary service, he rarely did; he didn’t like being inconvenienced. Yes, he represented his company with confidence, but he was pushy and impatient with prospective clients. He was the top of the food chain and he liked it there. He felt that he shouldn’t have to work as hard as others did anymore, after all, his ship had already come in. And it was a yacht. His reputation among his clients and peers was now one of mixed reviews. Some respected his knowledge, others resented his arrogance. Some appreciated his confidence, others did not feel he valued their opinions.
Specifically, how is the Law of the Harvest playing out in Alex’s life? At some point, Alex had sown good seed to get where he was. Because the harvest he was currently reaping was the result of previous work, Alex is choosing to not pay attention to how things are changing. Perhaps his previous company had an edge earlier, because of something completely independent of him, and he may have been in the right place at the right time. Perhaps existing clients simply don’t like change, so they stuck with him out of habit. Who knows? Whatever the truth is, his previous reputation and professional success was a harvest he happily reaped. But he forgot about the principle of choice and accountability, and its close tie to the law of the Harvest. He neglected to take into consideration how small the professional world in his field is, and how reputation spreads. With his current attitude and work ethic, he is now sowing an entirely different crop than the one he wanted. He wants tomatoes, but he was caring for them as if they were hostas. Hostas don’t want sun; tomatoes must have it. If you want tomatoes Alex, you must do more than put the seed into the ground. You must give them what they need to flourish.
Frank
Sometimes we get in our own way and we refuse to take responsibility for our own faults. Frank is not getting the shifts he wants at work. He feels persecuted by his supervisor, and is considering filing a complaint with the union. Frankly, (no pun intended), he is lazy and has a reputation for shuffling off when there’s work to be done. Colleagues don’t like working with him, and some have even asked not to. The problem is, that Frank convinces himself he is a good employee, and tells anyone who wants to hear it. He doesn’t think there is anything amiss with his performance.
Sometimes we need to take a long hard look at ourselves and ask what our responsibility is when we are not seeing the desired harvest. I have no idea what can be done for someone who is so blind to their own faults.
Helen
Helen is negative about most things: her job and the people she works with, her neighbours, her friends, her spouse, her in-laws, . . . . . She has a hard time seeing the good in people and talks ‘smack’ about them behind their backs. When people hear what she says about others, they wonder what she says about them. She has a victim mentality and feels like everyone is out to get her (and by extension, her family). She is quick to be offended, and has no problem telling people off when she is. She considers herself a loyal friend, but usually that means taking up their fight with them. Consequently she doesn’t have a good group of friends who want to be around her. Her nature makes it difficult sometimes to recognize the blessings she has in her life.
Like Frank, Helen may need to take a long hard look in the mirror to discover her responsibility when she doesn’t see her desired harvests. The most important thing she needs to recognize, is that many of her problems are self made. She can learn to alter her thinking with a little hard work, but first she must be able to accept that the common denominator in all she finds wrong with her world, might be herself. And that is not an easy thing to admit. For anyone.
Dean
Dean just got laid off. He hadn’t seen it coming, and assumed it never would. He had had a government position, and kinda felt that he was immune from such things. Like thousands of others, he had been working a lot from home during the Covid months, but was asked to come into the office Monday. That was that. Done. A fair severance, but no job. Understandably, it took a few days to digest it and to be able to talk about it. He reviewed his family’s situation: He had three young children at home. His wife had been working part time – picking up shifts now and again. He had been with his current employer for almost a decade and had a good reputation there; he knew he could get some good references. He and his wife had a house with a mortgage of course. They didn’t live outside of their means. They paid an honest tithing, and understood the blessings that came from doing so. They had a couple of older vehicles that he always kept in good condition. Most importantly, other than their mortgage, they had strictly avoided debt. What a relief that was at the moment! He felt sure that that fact alone was going to reduce the stress and nervousness of being between jobs for awhile.
Hard to say how long it might take for Dean to find another job in this market. Thankfully, they have some modest savings that they’d have to be careful with, but when combined with his severance, it will help. But back to the debt thing. They have NO credit card debt! No heavy monster interest hanging over their heads.
Specifically, how does “the Law of the Harvest” apply here? One cannot assume that doing one’s best will shield them from trials. Trials are inherent to our mortal experience, and we can learn a lot from them, but there are things we can do in preparation to prevent them from being worse than they have to be. We can in fact, soften their blow. By paying an honest tithing, and avoiding credit card debt, Dean protected himself and his family in the very best way he could have. Although this unemployment experience was not on his radar, he was prepared for it. He understands that while it is only a bump in the road, it could be a big bump. But it is not the harvest. The harvest is yet to come.
~
The moral of these stories is singular: “If you want tomatoes, plant TOMATOES.” Plant exactly what you hope to sow. Tomato seeds yield tomato plants, which in turn produce more tomato seeds. Keep your desired harvest in mind: TOMATOES. Choose your actions intentionally. Whatever they are, YOU WILL REAP WHAT YOU SOW. Using my friends Ben, Amelia, Alex, Frank, Helen and Dean as examples, consider the seeds you are currently planting, and ask yourself if those are the ones you really want to harvest? At one time Alex sowed tomatoes, but he hasn’t taken care of them for a long time, and he cannot expect to continue to reap a harvest he is no longer nurturing.
sometimes we Sabotage ourselves with self defeating behaviour
When one finds problems overwhelming, or maybe even painful, it is tempting to find a bandage, some kind of self-medicating behaviour, rather than learning from those experiences or developing strategies to work through them. Self medicating behaviours are ones that offer relief from pain, or fear-of-failure, and though some can be helpful in the short term, many times they are counterproductive. Self medicating behaviours that remove the worst of our fears, might take the form of alcohol, drugs, inappropriate relationships, self harm, over eating, over exercising, pornography, over spending, excessive indulgences, and so forth. The problem with this solution is that eventually it wears off. And reality comes back into focus, revealing the same problem that never really went away, and has now resurfaced. And we have still not developed skills to deal with it. Instead of learning skills to improve, we have simply learned to escape, and very often have introduced a new problem that can be worse than the original. Addiction.
The more one employs escape strategies, the more dependent we become on them. We find relief there. In our self medicating behaviour we chill out, we become more confident, we like ourselves better, we lose our usual inhibitions. Its a happy place for us. But soon enough it ends again, and we’re back to where we started – again. And the only things we seem to be learning, are quicker ways to escape those things we find difficult. Addiction is forming. Addiction to what? Addiction to whjhjhatever behaviour you are employing to avoid the pain you are living with. The longer you go on, the more serious your addiction becomes and the less you are equipped to deal with the new consequences that it brings with it.
And of course, there will be a reaping of this too.
In my studies and reflection, I have come up with five principles of the Law of the Harvest. They’re not official, not very profound, and probably never gonna be written anywhere else but here. But they are personal to me, learned through my experience. Understanding them helps me apply them to my benefit, and they help me hold myself accountable. Perhaps you may find them of benefit as well.
Lesson 1 – We Reap what we sow
Look ahead. What is it you WANT to end up with? If you want tomatoes, start by PLANTING tomatoes. Find out all that tomatoes need to thrive and do you very best to give it to them. They need as much sun as possible, so pick a sunny spot. They need nutrients, so make sure their soil is rich, continually adding to it with compost and mulch. They need air, so prune and stake them to ensure they have space to grow, and air flow to prevent disease. They need water, but water remaining on their leaves may cause disease, so water from beneath. When you ensure tomatoes have the very best environment and care, you can reasonably expect a bountiful harvest of beautiful, flavourful, nourishing tomatoes. Taking shortcuts in any of these areas will reduce the quality of your harvest. Planting marigolds will not give you a basketful of tomatoes. And letting dandelions flourish will not give you a basketful of tomatoes.
Reading text books will not get your kitchen cleaned up, and meals made. Browsing Pinterest, and flipping through magazines will not give you the kitchen you desire. Staying in bed all day because you’re overwhelmed, with not help your kids learn the golden rule and develop feelings of self worth.
When you have decided what you WANT in a final harvest, plant THOSE seeds, and NURTURE them along the whole season.
Lesson 2 – Sometimes the harvest is not immediate
Trying to cheat the natural consequences of our actions prevents us from valuable learning opportunities and preparation. We simply will not develop the skills we should have. Our world is governed by natural laws; its how we know objects will fall down instead of up, how we know the sun will rise in the morning, and why we know the rain will get us wet. These are things we can count on, without which life would be chaos.
Sometimes we make poor decisions, choices others may even have warned us not to make, actions that we innately sense are not for our own good, . . . nevertheless, we don’t suffer. In fact, everything seems to continue on pretty much as normal. We enjoy the immediate fruits of over spending, we neglect to change the oil in our car regularly, or maintain tire pressure properly, and yet it seems to run fine, we eat poorly but our health doesn’t suffer, we don’t study but we do well in class, …. etc. The delay of consequences can be empowering. We might even feel that we cheated them. Then all of a sudden, the exam looms and we know we’re going in unprepared, we can’t afford to pay the bills, the motor in our car fails and our tires wear out quicker than they should, our lack of energy catches up to us, and we seem to be getting sick a lot, . . . . . . Our lack of preparatory work becomes painfully evident, and bluffing our way through isn’t working anymore. It seems the whole world comes crashing down all at the same time, and we can’t “catch a break”. We compare ourselves to others, and fail miserably. And most importantly, we are stressed to the max, and unhappy.
Then the opposite may also be true from time to time. We try our best. We do everything we know how to do, to abide by ‘the rules’ associated with promised blessings. We work tirelessly, we follow the golden rule, we put God first, we pray for help, we teach our children, we show them by example the path we’d like them to follow, . . . and yet it seems, the same problems continue to plague us. We can’t get ahead, the light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away we can’t see it clearly, our kids choose paths we know will bring them misery. I’ve been there, I know how discouraging some of those things can feel. But I have learned that no matter what it looks like now, the promised harvest is absolutely assured. We must carry on, stay the course, do the right thing because IT IS the right thing, having faith that God is in control.
A favourite scripture of mine says: “There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated – and when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated.” (D&C 130:20,21) I have seen it come true time and time again. I have absolute confidence in it. You might say it has become a mantra to me, encouraging me on, trusting that God is in control and that I will receive the promised blessing.
Lesson 3 – Trust that the harvest WILL come, and it will be exactly what we sowed.
We live in an immediate gratification world that sometimes makes us believe everything should happen instantaneously. That’s hard to argue with, when so much around us reinforces it. Infinite information is a only a click away. We talk to anyone we want, practically anytime we want, from wherever we happen to be. New furniture is ours with the click of a mouse, delivered to our door next Monday. There is an app for everything. Instant results. We don’t like to wait, and we don’t see why we should have to. Hey, I live in the same world. I am as guilty as anyone else.
So how do we trust in something that doesn’t seem to be happening quick enough? How do we learn to step back, take a breath and have confidence in something we seemingly have no assurance of? Well, there are some things we DO have assurance of. Some things that we can count on.
“I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.” (D&C 82:10)
“Do what I say.”? . . . I can do that. I want to do that. I will do that. I made a commitment long ago to do that. Sometimes I might have to learn His will on a particular subject, but when I do, I will do whatever is necessary to align myself to it. Why? Because of this assurance: “My words are sure and shall not fail, …. wherefore be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind; …. ” (D&C 64:31-34)
I decided long ago that there was no one I wanted bound to me, more than God. His counsel here is simple and straight forward, hard to misunderstand: “DO WHAT I SAY”. His promise is equally simple and straight forward: “I THE LORD AM BOUND”. The opposite is true in reverse “when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.”
~
Someone recently told me that not only was I relying on unsustainable promises regarding the law of the harvest, but that I was encouraging others to put too much stock in harvests that may never come. She pointed out that sometimes a gardener plants and cares for a garden only to lose it through no fault of his or her own. Drought. Disease. Hail. Early frost. Any number of rotten tricks that nature can play on us will affect a harvest. And can even remove a season’s harvest completely from the picture. I know that. I’ve lost seasons’ harvests to unexpected early frosts, to hail and to other things beyond my control. But it has not diminished my testimony of the bigger picture.
Many years ago, we had an experience that taught me a life long lesson, that became the foundation of what would develop into a strong testimony of this principle. It is a lesson that I have seen recur multiple times, not just in my own life, but in the lives of those I love. Dan and I lived in a small Alberta city – Camrose. Our first baby had just been born, Dan was working in a bank there, and we began to set down roots, expecting Camrose to be our home for some time to come. We bought a modest home that we were to take possession of July 1, and since it was empty, we asked if we could plant a garden before we moved in. It was to be our first ‘real’ garden in our very own ‘real’ home. We felt so grown up.
We planted the garden. I have no idea what we planted in it, only that we did. About the middle of June, Dan lost his job. Big surprise, and overnight everything changed. We couldn’t take possession of the house obviously, and we had already put in notice with our landlord. So we packed up and moved into Dan’s mom’s basement while we tried to figure out what we were going to do from there. By September, Dan was back at school upgrading, working on the weekends delivering pizza, and we found a little apartment in our old ward on the west side of Edmonton. Friends in the ward were harvesting their own gardens and we received garden gifts from time to time. Cucumbers here, tomatoes there, lettuce, carrots and beets – it was wonderful. One day I mentioned to my new friend Shirley Clelland, “I didn’t even have a garden this year, and yet I am harvesting probably more than I would have if I had had one .” She offered a perspective I had never considered, with a gospel truth I had not known.
“You may not have harvested your own garden Cindy,” she said “but you DID plant a garden. And it is because of your garden that you are being blessed this way.“ She pointed out the principle of obedience. That promise that when we obey a law, we receive the blessings associated with it. Plain and simple – according to her. The prophet said “plant a garden” – we had. The circumstances surrounding the fact that we didn’t harvest it were incidental. The principle stood. She bore testimony to me in her straight forward way, that I could count on that principle all the days of my life. “There is a law irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated.” she recited, “And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which is is predicated.” (D&C 130:20,21) I didn’t know it then, but my life changed that day.
I had seen the fruit of the principle with my own two eyes. And yes, Shirley was right, I had planted a garden. Pitiful though it might have been, I had been obedient. I had tried my best to obey. That was all that mattered. God is in the details. When we get stuck in expecting the harvest to look exactly how we think it should, we may miss a lot.
Lesson 4 – Don’t discount a harvest simply because it looks different than you expected
Assurance of a harvest doesn’t mean you’re always gonna have a bumper crop of tomatoes. It doesn’t guarantee employment, or freedom from problems. And obeying gospel laws and principles doesn’t protect us from all of life’s trials. But it will frame them differently, and it will make all the difference in the final outcome.
We’ve had our share of unemployment. Along with many others in the economic downturn Alberta experienced in the mid 1980’s, we lost our house. Dan went back to school and worked part time when we had four children. There were many hard things about those years, and in the following years of repaying student loans. And there were great blessings too, although none of them looked much like money. We learned the importance of having a Food Storage, and we relied upon it. We learned to live within our means. We learned the difficult lesson of staying out of debt. Dan got a job he enjoyed with the government, and we got on with the business of raising our children.
In 1996 we bought a failing business that we believed we could turn around. An independent niche Bookstore. It wasn’t a dream we’d always had, it simply presented itself one day, and it felt like the right thing to do. Dan continued to work full time, and I took over the management of it. Our kids all worked there over the years we owned it, and there were many wonderful things that came from those years. But it was very hard too. 60 hour weeks. The first four years of no income from it – every dollar went back into it, paying off the bank loan, overhead, stock, freight, staff, . . . . etc etc etc. About five years later, we had a big surprise. One day Dan went to work as usual, and was home two hours later.
Downsized. It took our breath away. We were stunned. Could hardly speak. It took a few days before we could even tell the kids. We had five children by then, our daughter had just gotten married, our oldest son had recently returned from a mission. Our other boys were aged 11 – 17. While we sat together in a family meeting, our oldest asked the question that was on everybody’s mind: “What does this mean? What is this going to look like on the day-to-day? What’s going to change? What do we do different?”
It was with relief and tremendous gratitude that I could reassure them with “We are in good shape. Other than the house, we don’t have any debt. We own two decent cars, if we have to sell one, we can. Our priority is to not loose the house. Every ounce of energy will go into protecting it, and we will do without what we must do without to keep it safe. ” I reminded them of our Food Storage. “From the outside looking in,” I said “it will appear as if life is going on the same as it ever did. We pay our tithing and the Lord will sustain us. We’ll simply be careful until Dad is back to working fulltime.”
It went on a lot longer than we expected; in fact – Dan never did get back into his field. It was an emotionally difficult time, especially hard on him, as much of his confidence and feelings of self worth, were tied up in being gainfully employed. He picked up part time seasonal work at a local hardware store, then started building fences and decks. He eventually started a maintenance business and gained a contract with a big property company in the city. But that took years. Through it all, we still had our bookstore, which just before his layoff had turned a corner in that we had finally paid it off. So many times in the months and years that went by, I paused and considered “Wow! Who could have imagined that this would go on as long as it has? What would have happened to us if we had had credit card debt?” I had no doubt that had we been in unnecessary debt, we would have lost the house.
Bad things happen. Even to good people. Job loss happens. Illness happens. No one is exempt from trials in this life. And some of the harvests are less than stellar. Sometimes what we worked for ends up being regrettable. As difficult as that episode was for us, it was a first rate lesson in the importance of staying out of debt. Debt would have changed our harvest considerably. It was a tangible, touchable lesson for our whole family. Most of our kids were old enough to understand, and went into their own marriages with a healthy appreciation for living within one’s means. For that alone, I would say it was worth it. Not that I’d ever want to go through it again, but what we gained from those hard years is hard to put a price on. The harvest? Nothing we pictured in the beginning. But as so often happens when the Lord is involved, it turned out much better.
Lesson 5 – Don’t look back.
Every season gardeners learn new lessons about what they’re growing. Sometimes the lesson is what worked beautifully, so that we can repeat it. Sometimes the lesson is what NOT to do next time. But whatever we learned, it took the whole season to finalize the lesson. Nothing can be done to reverse a season, and we only get one chance at it. We may even lose the whole season’s harvest.
There is nothing to do, but to go forward. Next time – simply do better, applying what we learned, gaining confidence along the way with improved skills. Maya Angelou’s counsel is another mantra to me, and I have it written in big letters on a wall I see every day. “Do the BEST you can until you know better. Then when you know better, DO BETTER.” I love it because it doesn’t dwell on past mistakes. It encourages me not to grovel in guilt after I have repented. It motivates me to go forward and do better. It is simple and straight forward – just like the gospel. I do best with “simple-and-straight-forward”.
~
The law of the harvest is as real to me as the sun and the moon. I have seen it implemented year after year, simple and straight forward, and above all dependable. I have confidence in it. I have reaped many harvests – not all of them good, but they were what I sowed. I am currently reaping a harvest I set in motion many years ago. I trust the principle so much that it is a guiding influence in my life. It motivates every decision. Some people refer to serendipity. Some refer to karma. Some refer to luck. Those things imply fickle ‘chance’, and I cannot invest in chance. The law of the harvest is not chance. It is a natural law, as much as gravity is a law of physics, and we can count on it to the same degree. Even more so. And when we do, I pray that it will be the JOY OF HARVEST we experience, as is so beautifully depicted in Simon Dewey’s classic picture above.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on the law of the harvest and how it applies to life outside the garden as well as in it.
I decided to wait a few months before we revisited the concept. 
They get it. They know exactly where he is, and even all the cousins know about their older cousin who none of them met (at least not here). How grateful I am that families are eternal and that we know Samuel is not lost to us, and we’re not lost to him.
