Many years ago I happened upon this little poem, and I wrote it down. Where? or when? or from whom? I cannot even venture a guess at this point in time, but it has been in my collection for decades – and I’ll have to leave it at that. When my mom was a little girl she promised herself that when she grew up to be a ‘mommy’, she would ALWAYS have a cookie jar that was full of cookies. I can attest that we had a cookie jar when she was momming, and occasionally it had cookies in it. I on the other hand, made no such promise.
“A house should have a cookie jar for when its half past three and children hurry home from school as hungry as can be there’s nothing quite as splendid as spicy, fluffy ginger snaps and sweet milk in a cup.
A house should have a mother, waiting with a hug. No matter what a child brings home, a puppy or a bug for children only loiter when the bell rings to dismiss if no ones home to greet them with a cookie and a kiss. “ – annonymous
And that’s all I have to say about that.
But I’d love to hear your experiences with a cookie jar.
Have you ever lost the mate to a pair of favourite socks? Where DO they go? I am a reasonably responsible adult. I pay attention to detail. Okay probably not as well as some, but certainly better than most. I endeavour to keep my socks together when I wear them, when I put them in the laundry basket, and I believe they are still together when they go into the washing machine. So then what happens?
What happens to the ONE is one of life’s great mysteries and I have heard several theories, some more reasonable than others.
Canadian cartoonist Lynn Johnson theorized that the one missing mate somehow, during some drier-cycle-gone-wrong fluke (that just inexplicably happens sometimes), gets transported in time to some future drier. And just as we puzzle over the mysterious DISappearance of the odd mate, some future homemaker will puzzle over the mysterious APpearance of strange socks without mates. In all my research, this really is the only theory that holds any water, or that has any standing logic in my opinion.
The point is, as Joe J. Christensen established decades ago, you have a perfect match of socks in the beginning. They were prepared, even ‘created’ to be together. They have gone through the wear and tear of their useful life ‘together’. They have in effect, up to the critical time, eked out the measure of their creation together, until some inevitable, but unexpected ‘fire’, perhaps this time the heat of the drier caused more of a challenge than they had the power to overcome . . . and they became – separated. Lost. At least to each other. I mean how long does one continue to hold out hope that the missing sock be found? When does one simply cut their losses and throw the survivor out like yesterday’s garbage? It seems so heartless to punish the survivor, the one who ‘stayed behind’. But.What.Does.One.Do?
It may sound like an over simplification to propose that such a universal first world problem as missing and presumed lost socks could have a solution the kind of which I am going to present, but don’t discount it simply because its easy. What if it really could have been ‘this easy’ all this time? Nature’s best joke. Joe J. Christensen suggests – “the sock lock“. The binding tool of many successful ‘sock couples’. You use it by pinning the socks together by the toe (the strongest part) every time you put them in the laundry. I admit it sounds difficult at first, but hear me out. What if you developed the habit of doing that every time you put your socks into the laundry? It could happen. And if it did, it could solve an age old problem that has plagued generations.
Liken the ‘sock lock’ to the extra influences we are counselled to take advantage of, as binding influences in our marriages. Binding influences like PRAYER: as an individual, as a couple, as a family. Binding influences like DATE NIGHT: regular consistent meaningful dates between couples. Binding influences like COURTESY: not taking each other for granted, using good manners with each other, and giving genuine compliments. Binding influences like RESPECT: treating each other kindly no matter what, never-ever-ever-ever using bad language, raised voices, sarcasm, or rudeness when communicating with or about the other. The sock lock could be like any one of these other “binding influences”, it could be like all of them put together.
What if the problem of the missing socks was a ‘type’ – of something greater and more meaningful? What if we could actually LEARN something from socks? Sometimes great things truly do come from small things. The key to unlocking the mystery of the missing socks could actually be the key to happy marriages.
And here all this time, we thought it was about socks!
I’d love to hear some of your BINDING INFLUENCE suggestions and experiences.
Let me paint a picture for you. (cc 20-5 years BC – Helaman 11)
A people abound in wickedness, former enemies, but by now both are enemies of truth and right. They are called Nephites and Lamanites, and though they consist of many tribes, those nations are how they are identified to history. Their contention and disputations one with another erupt into full out war, nurtured by the deception of a power hungry group of evil men known by their founder’s name – Gadianton.
A prophet – Nephi is his name, is given – the power to bind and loose on earth and in heaven – (Helaman 10:7). He persuades the Lord to replace the war with a famine that the people might be brought to humility and repentance. The rains stop, and the earth does not yield forth grain in the season, slaughter from war ceases. A year without rain and a great famine covers the land. Destruction from the sword is replaced by destruction from famine. Two years without rain. The effects of the famine are felt among all peoples: Nephite and Lamanite alike, both wicked and righteous. Another year passes with no rain. The people perish by the thousands, especially (it is noted), in the more wicked parts of the land. Finally, the people begin to remember the words of the prophet Nephi – and they remember that there is a God. Funny how it sometimes takes so long to get back to the basics. I’ve heard it said that there are no atheists in foxholes. It appears there may be fewer atheists during famine as well. The people return to their God, who they had forgotten. At the point of their utter despair and almost sure destruction they acknowledge their former wickedness, repenting of it and plead to the prophet to intercede on their behalf and to send rain.
Moved by their plight, Nephi goes to the Lord in prayer for the people. Almost FOUR years without rain! “And now O Lord,” he pleas “wilt thou turn away thine anger, and try again IF they will serve thee? And IF so, O Lord thou canst bless them according to thy words which thou hast said.” (Helaman 11:16)
These are Big IF’s.
The people still have some proving to do. The Lord sends rain. So much so, that the earth begins to bring forth fruit in the proper season, and grain in its season. And the people are happy and glorify God, and the whole face of the land is filled with rejoicing. They rightly esteem Nephi to be a true prophet and a man of God, having great power and given authority from God. The people begin again to prosper and to multiply and spread out. They cover the land. They live in peace, forgetting previous offences, and thus it goes for more than two years, three years, almost four years. Then old grudges surface, conflicts begin to be rekindled, dissenters change sides and new strifes take hold. People begin again to fraction off into ‘tribes’ being divided by differences that could not be resolved in the absence of love. War commences. Gadiantons resurface, feeding on the discontent and exaggerated flaws of one’s opponents. In only a few short years the people have devolved from the terror of famine, to a return of the conditions that preceded it. Natural consequence when ‘love’ is not present.
The land virtually erupts in havoc, as the Gadiantons increase in number and wax strong, defying laws and those commissioned to enforce them. They plunder and murder for their own purposes, receiving daily additions to their numbers from the discontented. Government forces attempting to put them down are driven back, they literally infest the land, killing at will and even stealing women and children.
Can you imagine such a scenario? Anarchy in the streets. No regard for civil law. Proud and stiff necked, conspiring men who flatter the people and manipulate them to do their bidding in the name of whatever appeals to the people. This is no fairy tale, no work of fiction. It is literally out of the evening news in the year 20 BC on the American continent, as found in the chapters of Helaman 11-16.
This is the generation of Samuel, when believers among the Nephites are fewer in number than believers among the Lamanites. All over the land the people (both Nephite and Lamanite) are being prepared for the coming birth of “the Messiah” about whom their men of God have been prophesying for six hundred years. Believers await the signs they have trusted in all their lives. Unbelievers ridicule and mock them and trample everything that is precious and sacred under their feet.
Turmoil grips the Nephite capital city of Zarahemla, despite the not-to-distant humbling life changing destruction the famine. Into this environment comes a prophet, another one, this one from among the people of their traditional enemies. He preaches repentance to the people and they cast him out of their city, refusing to readmit him. He finds himself a podium upon which to speak – so that he can be heard by the greatest amount of people possible. He stands literally atop the city wall. His name is Samuel. He preaches as Nephi did, of impending destruction if they do not repent and trust in God, having faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He claims an angel of the Lord declared it unto him. He tells them that it is for the benefit of those few righteous among them, that their city is saved, and had it not been for them, the Lord would have caused fire to come out of heaven to destroy it. He warns that if they ever cast out the righteous from among them, they would have no such safety net. He condemns them for their pride and greed, which he says leads them to much grosser sins like persecution of the righteous and even murder. He says that if a prophet told them what they wanted to hear, they would accept him and esteem him as a prophet, and even pay him well for being one, but if he testified against them, they would call him a false prophet and they’d get rid of him.
Up till this part in the book, I find the story disturbingly, even hauntingly familiar. It literally IS the news stories I read on line, the commentaries on every news radio station, and the speculative theory of talk show hosts and political podcasts. Anarchy in the streets of America’s capital. Those who meant harm, at the threshold of government offices. Corruption and inefficiency widespread. Gadiantons in public office. Secret oaths of conspiracy and collusion. And so here we are, the people – hung out to dry, wondering who is going to prevail, and which ‘side’ is right if either of them can be. And in the middle of it, a world wide pandemic which frightens even the most seasoned front line worker, keeping people isolated from work and peer groups. Unprecedented unemployment. Hotly contested political issues. Conspiracy theories abound. Accusations of treason on the highest levels. Freedom of speech, that sacred holy grail of democracies is being intimidated and altered. Faction against faction. Discord damaging communities, congregations and even families. Neighbour against neighbour. Brother against brother. All forgetting the higher law about loving one’s neighbour as oneself.
Ancient Samuel taught the people sound doctrine, and therein laid their hope. Modern prophet Boyd K. Packer taught that true doctrine has a greater ability to change behaviour than any other course of action, and it proves itself out in story after story throughout the Book of Mormon. After some stern chastisement, Samuel prophecies about specific signs to be given by which the people will know that the Messiah is born in the land of Jerusalem. The people knew for decades that the time was nigh, but if was always something vaguely in the future. Samuel gives specific details regarding a firm time within which to see these signs. “FIVE years” he says. Five years is a frighteningly short time, even if one has waited six centuries to get there
In our day, Russel M. Nelson teaches sound and pertinent doctrine, and herein lies OUR hope. He teaches about gratitude and of acknowledging the good that surrounds us. He teaches tolerance and racial unity. He teaches about the critical role we play in the Gathering of Israel, and admonishes us to focus on our responsibility to accomplish it. He teaches us to love our neighbour and obey the laws of the land. He uses social media posts to reach the people on our own level – wherever that may be. He has found his wall. He teaches us about love at home, and the responsibility of the home in training and strengthening children.
“I speak unto you as if ye were present, and yet ye are not. But behold, Jesus Christ hath shown you unto me” Mormon 8:35
In Samuel’s day, many who believed went forth to be baptized. Many more did not. The chasm that separated those who believed and those who did not believe grew to a wide fissure, a gorge.
I am not trying to sound like I think I know the answers to our problems today. That is why we have prophets. I am just overwhelmed by the similarity between the world I am reading about which unfolded over 2000 years ago (as they awaited the birth of the Messiah), and the world I live in in 2020 (as we await the return of that same Saviour). The more things change the more things stay the same, I guess. Mormon testified “I speak unto you as if ye were present, and yet ye are not. But behold, Jesus Christ hath shown you unto me, and I know your doing. And I know that ye do walk in the pride of your hearts; and there are none save a few only who do not lift themselves up in the pride of their hearts, …. For behold ye do love money and your substance and your fine apparel … more than ye love the poor and the needy, the sick and the afflicted. …” (Mormon 8: 35-41) I think he pegged us. I think we can learn a lot from a book which was written by a people who’ve been where we are now. I’d hate to repeat ALL their mistakes. Just sayin’.
