Thirty years ago we bought the best trampoline that we could afford with the money we earned delivering flyers for two years. It was a long two years of seeing little reward except the hope and promise of a trampoline. We had four kids at the time and it was a family effort, not without it’s share of frustration. Hot days. Cold days. Rainy days. Busy days. Days when they’d rather do anything else. Days when they said “This is stupid. I don’t even want a trampoline!” Sometimes I said it too. Quietly to myself. Shhh.
We wondered if we’d EVER have enough, but every nickel we earned went into that savings account, and then one day it was over! We took our money and all of us went to buy the trampoline we had chosen after much research and deliberation.
Our kids grew up on that trampoline. Thousands of hours of fun and noise. Very patient neighbours. Innumerable memories. Not a single regret. Not even for those flyer delivering days.
Three decades later our grandkids are growing up on it too. Seriously this trampoline is right up there with the Top 10 Best Purchases of our life.
What would you say are a few of your Top 10 Best Purchases?
November 18 of this year was a Sunday.
We woke up to an unusually cold house.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to confirm that our stupid furnace
wasn’t working. In fact, we suspected it stopped working the day
before. In November in Edmonton, you don’t get
along for too long without a furnace!
You may have experienced something similar. If a furnace is gonna quit, its gonna do it in the winter time when its working steady. I know lots of others have had this very thing happen. It may not be common, but it is not rare. It was SO not in our plan for that cold November Sunday. The problem is, these kinds of things never ARE in the plan. Who schedules the furnace quitting into your weekly calendar? But planning for these kinds of possibilities makes all the difference in how you get through them.
Provident Living We could spend hours talking about the different facets of it. But cutting to the quick, being “provident” means having foresight and providing carefully for the future. Its about taking care of yourself today AND tomorrow, and being prepared for the unexpected. And it IS God’s temporal plan for His children.
Many years ago, Dan’s uncle was selling his motorhome. It was a nice one and he had taken exceptionally good care of it, and Dan really thought we should have it. He spent considerable time trying to talk me into it, and finally convinced me. Sort of. Mostly, I just gave in. Then one day he came home from a session of General Conference and said “We’re not buying Uncle Ernie’s motorhome.” I was just starting to warm up to the idea. LOL
It was October 1998. President Gordon B. Hinckley had just told those attending a general session for the men of the church to GET OUT OF DEBT. “I am suggesting” he said ” that the time has come to get our houses in order … Self-reliance cannot obtain when there is serious debt hanging over a household. One has neither independence nor freedom from bondage when he is obligated to others.” He went on to say “I urge you brethren, to look to the condition of your finances. I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchase to avoid debt to the extent possible. Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage. This is part of the temporal gospel in which we believe.” He concluded his remarks with this “If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts.” 1
It wasn’t that we hadn’t heard the counsel to stay out of debt before. In fact, we felt strongly about it, and even tried to live it. But that particular talk became one of those defining teaching events in our lives. It spoke to Dan’s heart and when we discussed it, it spoke to my heart. It changed things for us. We recommitted ourselves and began working with intent toward becoming completely free of debt.
Three years later, Dan lost his job. A job we had every expectation that he would retire from. “Downsized” was a relatively new word at the time, but people were getting used to it. One day he went to work as usual, and a few hours later he was home. And that was that. The truth is, nothing ever went back to ‘normal’ after that day. We owe a LOT to our strict obedience – finally – to the emphatic admonishment President Hinckley gave that evening three years before. When a prophet speaks that forthrightly, that emphatically, and that urgently – it is a good idea to pay attention. I am so glad we did.
When we had a family meeting a few days later, to tell our kids that Dad no longer had a job, there was silence for a long time. Jacob was just home from his mission, and he asked the questions everyone wondered. “What does this mean? How is this going to affect us in the day to day?” Of course these were questions we had talked about ourselves before we met with the kids. We could tell them this: “Because we listened to, and obeyed the prophet’s counsel to get out of debt, we believe we will ride this out without too much pain. Our most important goal is to keep this house. It is the only thing we owe money on, and every energy must be spent on making sure this house is never in danger.”
Things didn’t work out the way we hoped they would. Dan never re-entered his field. After months of looking, he re-entered the workforce taking a job paying $12 an hour. We had plenty of opportunity to reinforce our testimony to our kids of some very important principles. Like TITHING, FOOD STORAGE, and living within our means – which means avoiding DEBT.
I could not even begin to count the number of times I shook my head and said to myself, or to Dan, or to whatever kid happened to be standing nearby “Wow. Can you imagine? If we had had credit card debt, we would have lost this house by now! Who knew this would go on as long as it has?”
Provident living and being self reliant are not just Latter-day Saint ideals. It is a very popular concept among all sorts of people who focus on independence. However, there are a few things that I think are important to keep in mind when talking about Provident Living in a Latter-day Saint context. And as with all important things, we get our most reliable tutoring from the scriptures.
So where in the scriptures does it tell us to prepare for the furnace to quit, or to get a food storage in, or to stay out of debt, or put some money aside in case the unexpected happens?
Well, we know that when the Lord speaks thru his prophets, that is scripture to us. Almost 60 years before President Hinckley gave that talk, (in 1941) President Heber J Grant spoke from the pulpit “If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family,” he said “it is to live within our means. And if there is any one thing that is grinding and discouraging and disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet.” 2
In the Doctrine & Covenants we read “… verily I say unto you that all things unto me are spiritual, and not at any time have I given unto you a law which was temporal; neither any man, nor the children of men; neither Adam your father, whom I created. Behold I gave unto him that he should be an agent unto himself; and I gave unto him commandment, but no temporal commandment gave I unto him, for my commandments are spiritual; they are not natural nor temporal …” (DC 29: 34,35)
For the 72 hours we were without a furnace last November, we were surprisingly comfortable. We were sure glad it wasn’t 37 below, but there were other things that made that easier for us. Being prepared for possibilities can take a near tragedy and make it nothing more than an inconvenience. And not being prepared can take an inconvenience and turn it into a tragedy. We had always worried about what we would do if we lost heat in the winter. That was the worst case scenario in our stay-at-home emergency plan. So over time, as we could afford it, we worked toward some solutions.
many years ago we spent considerable energy re-insulating our attic. We’ve noticed that it has made a big difference in our house retaining heat in the winter, and cool in the summer.
we have a gas fireplace which we turned on immediately.
we have a woodstove downstairs with a flat top for cooking if necessary
we have a few cords of wood stacked up outside, some of it by the back door, and some of it downstairs beside the wood stove
we’ve had some bad experiences learning to light that stupid stove when it was 30 below. We’ve smoked out the whole house that not only set off the smoke alarm, but took weeks to get rid of.
we had some money set aside for emergencies that we were able to use to fix the furnace
All these things we used on that Sunday and Monday. By Tuesday morning, it was as if nothing had ever happened, except that our house smelled slightly of wood smoke.
We were so grateful for planning ahead for a possibility we hoped would never happen. And who knows? That might have just been a test run. I hope not.
Provident Living and being Self Reliant means that we learn skills that will help our family should the unexpected rear its ugly head. Knowing those skills takes the fear out of the unexpected. Years ago – before I made my first long distance road trip without Dan, he thought it prudent to teach me how to change a tire. I admit, it wasn’t my finest moment. To say I was resistant would be giving me too much credit. I had absolutely no desire, but he insisted. He made me come out and watch him as he patiently explained each step while he removed a tire, and put it back on. I stood behind him watching and noticed how dirty his hands were getting and I thought “You canNOT be serious! I am not touching that. And what if I break a nail? That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.” I didn’t vocalize any of those thoughts and wisely Dan didn’t insist I actually demonstrate all I learned.
I have since learned to change a tire. I use a CELL PHONE. The way I look at it – I have five sons and a husband. And I didn’t put up with all those boys for 40 years for nothing! Problem is, I got a flat tire in Montana, when I was far from any of those boys. And far from AMA, and in a dead zone for cell coverage. My very pregnant, but smarter niece was with me. Guess who changed the tire? Another one of my un-finer moments.
If you drive, the likelihood of you having a flat tire is extremely high. In fact, I’d venture to say its inevitable. Just a matter of time. Its part of driving.
If you live in Canada, the likelihood of you having a furnace issue one day is real. Even high.
You may have some unexpected and unusually high bills one day – that knock the wind out of you.
One day you may find yourself unemployed.
None of these things have to destroy you. Every one of them can be dealt with better and more smoothly with a little bit of foresight and providence.
Sit as a family and review some possibilities. And then talk out possible solutions.
What would we do if we lost heat in the middle of winter? How would we get thru the first few hours? What if it went on for a few days?
What would we do if Dad suddenly couldn’t go to work? What is our plan to get thru the first few weeks? What if it went on for six months? What if he never worked again?
What skills should we learn to make our life more comfortable if things suddenly changed?
What if we had to cut our grocery budget in half?
What if we had a few bad months when we had zero money after the bills to buy groceries at all?
During some very lean years, it never occurred to me for a minute to say “Wow, wasn’t that lucky that we happened to have a food storage downstairs?”
When Dan lost his job, it never occurred to me for one minute to think “Wow, wasn’t that lucky that we decided several years ago to get out of, and then forever after avoid debt?”
Luck had no part in any of that. They were both results of obedience to the counsel a loving Heavenly Father – given for our comfort and peace of mind.
Some things to put on your list:
FOOD STORAGE: Get one! If you’ve got one, keep it up. I have heard too many older people say something like “Now that the kids are gone, there’s not much point. I don’t bother with it anymore.” Are you kidding me? Did you suddenly stop eating? Who’s supposed to feed you?
DEBT: Get OUT! Out Out Out. Avoid it like it is the plague it is. If you cannot pay for it by the end of this month, you cannot afford it.
Wait for it. Save for it. But do NOT “buy it on time”! There are very few necessary exceptions. Obviously we have to borrow for a house. Sometimes one has to borrow for a reliable vehicle. (be reasonable. Affordability is still key here.) Sometimes one has to borrow for an education. But make paying those debts off a priority, starting with the smallest one first.
You can say “We cannot afford this.” Try it. Its not as hard as you might think it is. Just form the words: “We. Can’t. Afford. It.” See? not that bad. Use that sentence more. If you cannot pay it off by the end of this month – you CAN. NOT. AFFORD. IT! Stop feeling ‘less than‘ because you don’t have all that someone else has. Perhaps they can’t afford it either, but they’ve unwisely chosen debt to make it look like they can. Come ON. Those are mind games we play with ourselves, and ultimately we’re the losers. Stop feeling that you deserve this or that. I’ll tell you what you deserve. You deserve peace of mind. And you’re never gonna have it, no matter how nice your truck is – as long as you owe money.
I do not speak against nice vehicles. I don’t speak against nice vacations. Or leather furniture. If you can afford it, do whatever your little heart desires. But remember – if you can’t pay for it by the end of the month – you cannot afford it. Live with that. And man up to it. Live within your means and be grateful for all you DO have, instead of counting all the things you don’t.
EMERGENCY SAVINGS: If you can only put $5 a week away, then put $5 a week away. But do something. The Lord blesses us when we obey. We don’t have to do great things. Small things count in His eyes, and the Lord blesses us for them.
When referring to the story of Nephi finding ore to build tools necessary to build a ship, L. Tom Perry said “I have sometimes wondered what would have happened if Nephi had asked the Lord for tools instead of a place to find the ore to make tools. I doubt the Lord would have honored Nephi’s request. You see, the Lord knew that Nephi could make the tools, and it is seldom the Lord will do something for us that we can do for ourselves.The Lord does help when we go to Him in times of need, especially when we are committed to His work and respond to His will. But the Lord only helps those who are willing to help themselves. He expects His children to be self-reliant to the degree they can be.”
Elder Perry went on to say “Independence and self-reliance are critical to our spiritual and temporal growth. . . . . If we increase our dependence on anything or anyone except the Lord, we will find an immediate decrease in our freedom to act.” 3 (GC October 1991)
We all could go on and on and on – giving examples and bearing testimony of how living the principles of Providence and Self Reliance has helped us and how they put us in a position of being able to be more charitable. And we could be uplifted and edified by it all. And I think we should have those discussions. In this article, we could only skim over the basics of such an all encompassing gospel lifestyle. And make no mistake, that is exactly what it is. A lifestyle. Learning skills that will help us be self reliant is a life long focus. It is a lifestyle. And it yields gratitude and peace of mind.
I encourage us all to look again at our our situations – no matter where we are on the spectrum, and find a way to do better. Make it your goal this year to become more self reliant and work toward that goal every single day.
The Lord will help us, but remember what Elder Perry said, He will “help those who are willing to help themselves. He EXPECTS [us] to be self reliant to the degree that [we] can be.”
Two more scriptures to leave you with. I find them very motivating when I recommit myself to follow counsel from the Brethren “Why call me Lord, Lord and do not the things which I say?” (Luke 6:46)
“I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say, but when you do not what I say, ye have no promise.” (DC 82:10) I cannot think of anyone I would rather have bound to me, than Him. And He promises. He says “I the Lord am BOUND when ye do what I say.” It is my prayer that we will all willingly “Bind” Him to us as we strive to live what He says. As we strive to live providently, and to know the peace and freedom of a self reliant life.
