I think we might agree that Sesame Street was a great neighbourhood to live in; even Oscar was endearing. But a good neighbourhood doesn’t have to be fictional. A neighbourhood is made of real people like you and me. And yes, each one may even have an Oscar, and its even possible he or she may not want to ‘partake’ of whatever you’re offering. That’s okay. He can do him, but that doesn’t mean others can’t enjoy the spirit of ‘community and neighbourliness with or without him.
Sometimes people really do come together in an emergency or crises, but the better time to start building those relationships is long before – simply by BEING a good neighbour. How do you do that?
Here are 8 keys to being a good neighbour
1. Look UP.
It’s not that hard – simply look up, open your eyes and notice things. See people coming and going. Say hello or at least give a wave. You’re more likely to notice little details with your eyes open and a caring heart. Perhaps someone could use a wave, or a smile, or a hand, or maybe something more. Chat a bit in the driveway from time to time. Chat in the front yard. Chat with the neighbour down the street when you’re walking the dog.
2. Smile.
It cannot be overstated – a smile really will make someone’s day better, and yours too.
3. Be kind.
Something so simple can really make all the difference.
4. Lend a hand. Could they use a hand bringing some groceries to the door? Would it really put you out if you pitched in? What about offering to mow their lawn when they go away?
What about bringing over a quart of homemade soup when you hear someone’s not feeling well? A loaf of fresh bread? When you’re shoveling your sidewalk, how difficult would it be to simply go a little further and shovel your neighbour’s.
5. Be tolerant. Not everyone’s gonna do things that way you do. Your neighbour may have young kids when you don’t, that may mean more noise than you make. Cool your jets, they won’t stay kids forever. Your patience with bikes all over the front yard and kids shooting baskets in your driveway will go a long way. Kids grow up, and those days will end. It’s a lot easier for your neighbours to be tolerant of you and yours if you extend the same courtesy. Learn to laugh it off – that’s where funny memories are born.
6. Invite
Invite them over to sit around a backyard fire. Invite them for dinner. Invite them to go for a walk. Host a neighbourhood party.
7. Work together.
Many years ago Dan decided it would be a helpful thing to have a snow blower, we live in a crescent and the snow plows rarely come into crescents. But the half dozen times we might use it in a year hardly seemed worth the price. But IF we could share that cost with others . . . he spoke with some neighbours, and four of us bought one together – with a few simple ground rules. Still using it. Still a good experience.
The border between our front lawn and our neighbours front lawn is vague – so for nearly the whole time we’ve lived here, whoever mows the lawn – mows both. Such a simple service – takes an extra five minutes, and both of us always have a mowed front lawn. When I do for walks and see front lawns with an obvious mowed border, I am always surprised. Such a small effort to make both yards look nicer and extend that hand of friendship and service.
8. Keep your house and yard neat and tidy. No one wants to live beside or across from a slob. It is respectful to your neighbours to take care of your property. When we first moved back to the city many years ago, for Dan to go back to school – we lived in subsidized housing. As soon as the snow melted, we dug our small area of dirt in a sunny spot and planted flowers, some herbs and even a few tomatoes. We lived there for three summers and though we were the only ones that first summer to do so, I noticed that the following summer some of our neighbours planted flowers, and the next year even more did.
Good neighbourhoods don’t just ‘happen’
My husband’s parents lived in a little house in a nice little neighbourhood. They pretty much stuck to themselves, didn’t much care to get to know their neighbours. They weren’t rude, they kept their yard tidy. But they never reached out. They never offered to lend a hand. They just did what they did and minded their own business. In time they got older and needed some help. We drove an hour one way to mow their lawn when they couldn’t, to rototill their garden, and to do all sorts of little things that we were happy to help them with, but were too far away to be help on the day to day. I marveled that there wasn’t a single nearby friend, church member, or neighbour that we maybe could have asked for a hand once in a while. But their wasn’t. After almost 40 years of living in and around that same general area, there wasn’t anyone they felt comfortable asking a favour of. Why? Because they weren’t really “good neighbours” themselves.
Good neighbourhoods just don’t happen on their own. They’re not magic like that.
Being a good neighbour is the building block of a good and friendly neighbourhood. That doesn’t mean we have to all be the same, just be nice.
Good neighbours watch out for each other.
Good neighbours keep an eye on each other’s property when they’re away.
Good neighbours care about each other.
When emergencies happen, good neighbours pitch in and help each other through it, and THEREIN LIES THE KEY TO THIS CONVERSATION.
You cannot live in a ‘good’ neighbourhood if you’re not a good neighbour. It doesn’t work that way. And you may think you don’t need your neighbours – until you fall on your icy sidewalk, or someone breaks into your house, or your spouse has a heart attack, or your house is on fire,
. . . . or when any number of other reasonable and perfectly normal scenarios happen.
Being a good neighbour is important for everyone because it makes good neighbourhoods.
It means safety, a sense of belonging, a helping hand, purpose, charity, empathy and friendship. It takes TIME, investment, kindness, charity, empathy and friendship.
Share Your Ideas:
I’d love to hear your thoughts about how having strong community connections helps us, and ways you might make neighbourhood a better place. After all, WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
Now is the time to extend the hand of friendship to our neighbours – and yes, I even mean the ‘Oscar’ on your street. We can start with those who live on either side of us. If we don’t know their names yet, LEARN their names and two facts about them. Then reach out to those on the other side of each of them, and those across from us. Learn THEIR names and two facts about them. Make it a game to accomplish these goals, and then continue on with those on the other side of them, and so on.
Warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
hen you’re in a place where you see someone who might need a kind word or wave, or even more – simply ask yourself – “WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THIS ROOM?” I cannot tell you how much that has helped me be a better person and get over myself for the moment. Thank-you Michael.