I think we might agree that Sesame Street was a great neighbourhood to live in; even Oscar was endearing. But a good neighbourhood doesn’t have to be fictional. A neighbourhood is made of real people like you and me. And yes, each one may even have an Oscar, and its even possible he or she may not want to ‘partake’ of whatever you’re offering. That’s okay. He can do him, but that doesn’t mean others can’t enjoy the spirit of ‘community and neighbourliness with or without him.
Sometimes people really do come together in an emergency or crises, but the better time to start building those relationships is long before – simply by BEING a good neighbour. How do you do that?
Here are 8 keys to being a good neighbour
1. Look UP. It’s not that hard – simply look up, open your eyes and notice things. See people coming and going. Say hello or at least give a wave. You’re more likely to notice little details with your eyes open and a caring heart. Perhaps someone could use a wave, or a smile, or a hand, or maybe something more. Chat a bit in the driveway from time to time. Chat in the front yard. Chat with the neighbour down the street when you’re walking the dog.
2. Smile. It cannot be overstated – a smile really will make someone’s day better, and yours too.
3. Be kind. Something so simple can really make all the difference.
4. Lend a hand. Could they use a hand bringing some groceries to the door? Would it really put you out if you pitched in? What about offering to mow their lawn when they go away? What about bringing over a quart of homemade soup when you hear someone’s not feeling well? A loaf of fresh bread? When you’re shoveling your sidewalk, how difficult would it be to simply go a little further and shovel your neighbour’s.
5. Be tolerant. Not everyone’s gonna do things that way you do. Your neighbour may have young kids when you don’t, that may mean more noise than you make. Cool your jets, they won’t stay kids forever. Your patience with bikes all over the front yard and kids shooting baskets in your driveway will go a long way. Kids grow up, and those days will end. It’s a lot easier for your neighbours to be tolerant of you and yours if you extend the same courtesy. Learn to laugh it off – that’s where funny memories are born.
6. Invite Invite them over to sit around a backyard fire. Invite them for dinner. Invite them to go for a walk. Host a neighbourhood party.
7. Work together.
Many years ago Dan decided it would be a helpful thing to have a snow blower, we live in a crescent and the snow plows rarely come into crescents. But the half dozen times we might use it in a year hardly seemed worth the price. But IF we could share that cost with others . . . he spoke with some neighbours, and four of us bought one together – with a few simple ground rules. Still using it. Still a good experience.
The border between our front lawn and our neighbours front lawn is vague – so for nearly the whole time we’ve lived here, whoever mows the lawn – mows both. Such a simple service – takes an extra five minutes, and both of us always have a mowed front lawn. When I do for walks and see front lawns with an obvious mowed border, I am always surprised. Such a small effort to make both yards look nicer and extend that hand of friendship and service.
8. Keep your house and yard neat and tidy. No one wants to live beside or across from a slob. It is respectful to your neighbours to take care of your property. When we first moved back to the city many years ago, for Dan to go back to school – we lived in subsidized housing. As soon as the snow melted, we dug our small area of dirt in a sunny spot and planted flowers, some herbs and even a few tomatoes. We lived there for three summers and though we were the only ones that first summer to do so, I noticed that the following summer some of our neighbours planted flowers, and the next year even more did.
Good neighbourhoods don’t just ‘happen’
My husband’s parents lived in a little house in a nice little neighbourhood. They pretty much stuck to themselves, didn’t much care to get to know their neighbours. They weren’t rude, they kept their yard tidy. But they never reached out. They never offered to lend a hand. They just did what they did and minded their own business. In time they got older and needed some help. We drove an hour one way to mow their lawn when they couldn’t, to rototill their garden, and to do all sorts of little things that we were happy to help them with, but were too far away to be help on the day to day. I marveled that there wasn’t a single nearby friend, church member, or neighbour that we maybe could have asked for a hand once in a while. But their wasn’t. After almost 40 years of living in and around that same general area, there wasn’t anyone they felt comfortable asking a favour of. Why? Because they weren’t really “good neighbours” themselves.
Good neighbourhoods just don’t happen on their own. They’re not magic like that. Being a good neighbour is the building block of a good and friendly neighbourhood. That doesn’t mean we have to all be the same, just be nice. Good neighbours watch out for each other. Good neighbours keep an eye on each other’s property when they’re away. Good neighbours care about each other. When emergencies happen, good neighbours pitch in and help each other through it, and THEREIN LIES THE KEY TO THIS CONVERSATION.
You cannot live in a ‘good’ neighbourhood if you’re not a good neighbour. It doesn’t work that way. And you may think you don’t need your neighbours – until you fall on your icy sidewalk, or someone breaks into your house, or your spouse has a heart attack, or your house is on fire, . . . . or when any number of other reasonable and perfectly normal scenarios happen.
Being a good neighbour is important for everyone because it makes good neighbourhoods. It means safety, a sense of belonging, a helping hand, purpose, charity, empathy and friendship. It takes TIME, investment, kindness, charity, empathy and friendship.
Share Your Ideas:
I’d love to hear your thoughts about how having strong community connections helps us, and ways you might make neighbourhood a better place. After all, WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
Now is the time to extend the hand of friendship to our neighbours – and yes, I even mean the ‘Oscar’ on your street. We can start with those who live on either side of us. If we don’t know their names yet, LEARN their names and two facts about them. Then reach out to those on the other side of each of them, and those across from us. Learn THEIR names and two facts about them. Make it a game to accomplish these goals, and then continue on with those on the other side of them, and so on.
What a bleak world this would be without flowers: without their gorgeous colour, and their sweet intoxicating, natural fragrance. In the warm months, flowers abound in and around our homes, with many practical reasons for growing them – not simply “to gladden the heart“. But in the cold months, one has to be more ‘deliberate’ about including them. That’s where potpourri becomes an invited guest, but before we get to that, lets talk about how important flowers are to our gardens. Here are 6 reasons to grow them.
1. To attract pollinators
Bee enjoying the flower head of garlic chives, cut and destined to be part of a kitchen bouquet
The most important reason I grow flowers is because I like them. But probably the most important reason I grow flowers IN the vegetable garden, is to attract pollinators. Bees are not the only pollinators, but they’re the most recognizable, and they’re every gardener’s friend. As the bees (and other insects) collect pollen, they distribute it to nearby fruits and vegetables pollinating as they go. The longer pollinators stay in your garden, the greater the pollination rate, so planting flowers among vegetables like zucchini and other squash, and cucumbers is very important. Look for bright coloured flowers. Studies indicate that bees like the colour purple. I grow Borage throughout my vegetable garden primarily because of their purple flowers which attract the bees.
2. As companion plants
rosemary in the centre, marigold to the right, red orach behind, poppy leaf at 11:00, borage leaf at 7:00
Sometimes for shade, sometimes to attract pollinators, sometimes to attract pests away from vulnerable neighbouring vegetables, sometimes to repel pests, flowers are more than just pretty faces in the garden.
3. To improve soil
Flowers from the legume family like Sweet peas, Lupins, Wisteria and Clover can improve nitrogen levels in your soil, not just from growing but even after they’ve finished growing. With the lawn mower, chop up spent bean and pea plants, and then use as mulch in areas of your garden that need nitrogen. As the mulch breaks down and rain filters through it, important minerals like nitrogen are returned to the soil. As my Borage grows bigger and begins to shade surrounding plants, I cut stems to put into summer bouquets, but remnants get added to the mowing. There are many other plants (not just flowers) like Mullein and Comfrey – that provide great ‘green manure’ for your garden. Be open minded to a benefit you may not have considered before.
Many flowers like nasturtiums are more than beautiful splashes of colour in the garden, and more than attractive faces to pollinators. They are delicious, and nutritious. Nasturtium flowers and leaves, pansies and marigold petals are the perfect addition to any summer salad. Making sure they’re free of chemicals is important, but you know what you’re adding or not adding to your own garden. Common edible flowers are Nasturtiums, Calendula (and other marigolds), Borage, and Pansies (including violas). I even freeze Delphiniums and Geraniums in ice cubes to add to chopped water in a glass dispenser.
All parts of the Nasturtium plant is not only edible and delicious, but highly nutritious: flower, leaves, stem and seeds. Search the keyword “nasturtium” to read other posts about this wonderful and versatile plant.
*cautionary hint: Not all flowers are edible so do some research and get recommendations before you freely harvest. My grandkids enjoy eating the many things I give them to try but we have a very strict rule which is – you cannot eat anything that isn’t a berry – unless Gramma gave it you to eat.
5. To gladden the heart
Getting back to the “gladden-the-heart” part. For most of my married life, my mother in law had freshly cut flowers on her table all summer long, and I came to find JOY in that. It is a rare day that I do not follow her example and have fresh garden flowers on my table during the warm months. Through doing so, I have personally come to know the meaning of what ‘gladden the heart‘ means. Growing flowers ensures a steady supply of every changing seasonal bouquets, and that has become increasingly important to me as I get older.
6. Preserving
Drying flowers when they’re in their prime extends their season and their reach throughout the winter. Who says we can’t have flowers on our table all winter long too? That’s where potpourri comes in.
Flowers in the house – Potpourri
The definition of Potpourri (pronounced ‘poh-poo-ree‘, is “a mixture of dried flower petals with spices, kept in a pot or jar for their fragrance“. Variations of potpourris have been used for millennia, all over the world – for fragrance. The type of potpourri I make is patterned after European recipes, mostly because of climate related ingredients. The mixture contains dried flower petals and spices, and essential oils, as well as ‘fixatives’ – the ingredient used to ‘FIX’ the scent.
While there may have been a myriad of reasons people used potpourri in days gone by, there is only one reason I use it. Because I love the smell of flowers. There is something about flowers that come from one’s own garden, lasting for years in a potpourri mixture . . . . I have a 3 gallon crock in my living room full of flower petals that I have dried – some of those petals have been there for decades. I add to it yearly, tossing new petals into the old. Making your own potpourri is easy, and using flowers and herbs from your own garden makes it personal and memorable.
part one – the ingredients
When selecting flowers, look for ones that keep their colour. * Rule #1 – don’t rush your potpourri. Like many good things, sour dough and potpourri cannot be rushed. You’ll be starting in the summer as you’re drying flowers, and you’ll be finishing mid winter – perhaps. This isn’t a race, and good potpourri will last for years and years – so relax, take a breath and enjoy the process.
* Rose petals have always been the most basic and important part of any potpourri mixture. I grow few roses, but I collect some from friends, and of course – I receive fresh roses from time to time throughout the year. I never waste them.
Other flowers: Any flower that has a pleasant natural scent and retains a nice shape and colour when dried, is a prime candidate for most potpourri mixtures. Carnations, lilacs, violets, pansies, geraniums, peonies and lily of the valley are good choices. The only petal that I keep separate for its own unique potpourri is ‘Lavender’, and that is simply because it is different enough that it deserves its own pot, and because I am particularly partial to the scent of lavender. If I am to add any other flowers to a lavender potpourri, they will also be purple, of small delicate petals and similar in general, like lilacs, dephiniums, corn flower (bachelor buttons) and forget-me-nots .
Common herbs: such as oregano, rosemary, marjoram, thyme, lemon verbena, basil, assorted mints, sage, lemon balm and meadow sweet are good choices to add to floral mixtures or to use separately.
Spices: fragrant spices such as cinnamon bark pieces, whole cloves and allspice are sometimes used, and I can see their value, but they don’t usually make it into my own mixtures unless I’m making something ‘Christmassy’.
Citrus peel: In many old recipes, dried whole oranges are crushed and mixed with spices. Or one could thinly pare the rind from an orange, lemon, lime or even grapefruit and dry till crisp. They can be added whole or crushed.
this jar is chopped and dried orris root from 2019 and 2020. Probably next summer I will grind it up in my coffee grinder to use.
Fixatives: A fixative is a substance that absorbs scents and retains them for a long time. You really need a fixative, the gentle scent of flowers is simply too delicate to last.
The only fixative I have ever used in ORRIS ROOT. You may find it in specialty shops like spice stores, some garden shops, health food stores, or even craft stores, and it is something I can make myself – which of course is always appealing. Orris Root is literally the root of an iris plant. When you buy it, it may come in ‘crumbles’ or as a fine powder not unlike icing sugar in texture. It is easy to use.
Sandalwood. I have never used sandalwood, mostly because I don’t know where to buy it, but I do like the smell of it, and wouldn’t be opposed to using small pieces or slivers of it in a potpourri mixture from time to time.
Essential oils: Essential oils are added to potpourri mixtures to strengthen the scent. Be adventurous and experiment: of course you’re going to use your favourite scents, but try combining oils of ‘like’ scents, try mixing floral and herb scents that you like. Constantly test the ‘scent’ when mixing into your bowl of flowers.
part two – colour and texture
Potpourri should be as beautiful to look at as it is to smell, so pay particular attention to the dried colour of what you’re using. Occasionally you come across a flower or herb, that when dried, completely loses its beautiful colour. Don’t use it unless it smells so amazing you cannot pass it up, but seriously, I cannot think of a single example of an ugly dried flower that smells that amazing. Flowers that dry with beautiful shapes and colours are: borage, delphinium, forget-me-nots, hydrangeas, marigolds, nasturtiums, pansies, salvia, tansy and zinnias. Consider adding rose hips and other interesting treasures in your garden for texture.
Sometimes you come across such perfectly shaped small flower heads or beautiful whole buds, that it seems immoral to rip them apart. Keep them in their form. If drying them is an issue, you can use a drying agent – a ‘dessicant’ to help.
using desiccants for texture
Silica Gel The most commonly used medium for drying flowers is SILICA GEL. You should be able to buy from a drug store, a craft store or a hardware store. To use, simply put a one inch layer of silica gel in an airtight container, gently place the trimmed bud or flower on top of the gel, stem tip down. Some flowers may want to lay on their side, some might be best laid stem tip up. Be flexible. Gently pour the gel on top of the flower, taking care to get gel between petals if possible, eventually covering the whole flower. Seal the container and place in a secure place, safe from being jostled. Expect it to take 2 – 6 days for most flowers depending on how dense they are. * hint: Afer use, silica gel must be re-dried. Spread out on a tray and dryin a low oven until completely dry. Store away for future use.
Borax I have never used borax to dry flowers but it sounds very compelling to me. I will for sure try it. According to directions, take 1 part BORAX and 2 parts cornmeal and stir to completely blend. Layer borax mixture in airtight container the same as for silica gel, place flower on top in the same way as above, gently sprinkling borax mixture over top. Not necessary to completely cover. Seal and put away. Leave for about two weeks, checking occasionally after the first week.
part three – harvesting and drying
Flowers: Just when the flowers are at their most beautiful – usually just before fully opening, is when they’re perfect. Afterward, both scent and colour will begin to diminish. Gather on a dry day, mid morning is best – after the dew has dried but before the heat of the sun.
When drying, pay particular attention to not crowding them. I usually just leave them spread out and loose on a clean tea towel in the open air inside the house and away from direct sunlight which may fade them. If you have a lot, use a baking rack to keep the air circulating. Petals should be dry and slightly crisp, which could take several days in some cases, so don’t be in a hurry.
part four – assembling your Potpourri
– Dry all flowers and leaves till they are crisp. – Use a glass or ceramic bowl or pot to mix. Never use plastic or anything porous, or metal. Plastic will keep the smell long after making it difficult to use for anything else, and some metals may react to some oils. You really should dedicate your bowl to potpourri – then you don’t have to worry about scents lingering. – Place all your petals and leaves in large bowl, add any other non powdered ingredient. – Mix your scent and fixative: Simply add drops of the essential oil of your choice a few drops at a time and mixing well after each addition to an amount of orris root. How much orris root? Depends on how much potpourri you’re making, but maybe start with 4 ounces for approximately 6-10 cups petals. Blend essential oil into the powder with your fingers or the back of a spoon until thoroughly blended. – Sprinkle the scented orris root onto the flower mixture, then toss with your hands to ensure it is sufficiently incorporated. – Add whole citrus peel, whole spices and buds if using. Gently toss with fingers again. – Gently move potpourri mixture into jars, crock, or ziplock bags. Seal to leave for about 6 weeks to set. If in a jar or bag, do not leave in direct sunlight. Toss petals or shake bags frequently – every day or two to prevent fixative from settling.
part five – Enjoying your potpourri. For years!
My 3 gallon Medalta crock is the main container for rose scented petals of all kinds. I’ve been using this crock for about 40 years. It can never be used for anything else at this point; I expect that scent has become part of the crock.
For many years I kept my potpourri in a crock pot in the living room. When the house whas freshly cleaned, I would remove the lid, toss the petals and let the scent waft through the room. A very good friend of mine developed a sensitivity to perfumes that evolved into sensitivity to most scents, including flowers. At first, I paid attention to NOT having the potpourri open when I was expecting her to visit, but it got so that I stopped lifting the lid at all in case she stopped by. I didn’t want her to not be comfortable in my house. This was quite a sacrifice at first, but soon we mostly forgot about what was in that crock. Life changes and my friend moved away. One day I rediscovered my lost love of potpourri and began the process of getting back into the habit of using it.
How to use
rose scented and mostly rose based in an antique jar and a not-so-antique jar
Don’t leave your potpourri out in the open for days at a time. The smell will dissipate over time. Personally, I never bring it out until the house is cleaned. It’s kind of a reward I suppose, but it just makes sense to me that a clean smell should go with a clean house.
1. Pour your potpourri into an attractive bowl in your living room. Toss with your fingers. Before you go to bed, pour back into the crock, or jar.
2. Make small sachets out of thin cotton fabric. Store them in your drawers, closet, linen cupboard, or even pillow cases.
3. Keep in pretty antique jars that you can put on the table, your dresser or your bathroom counter when desired. When done, replace the lid and put away. Keep jars out of sunlight.
Remember, that even the best oils will eventually lose their scent. Toss the petals with your hands from time to time, and refresh your potpourri with a few more drops of oil when needed. You can always start a new batch next summer, or continue to add to existing batch every season. For years I have two potpourris going. The big one is probably one third roses, so I use ROSE as my primary scent of choice. The smaller one is LAVENDER which is about half lavender petals and leaves, and the other half – supplemental petals like lilacs, delphiniums and borage flowers.
Lavender with a few like coloured flower petals like pansies, violas, lilacs and even a rose.
4. I buy nice little jars or make nice little cloth sachets and fill them up for gifts. Tie a piece of ribbon or lace.
I’d love to hear your experience with homemade potpourri. If this is your first time making one, be brave – you cannot go wrong. Have fun and tell me how it went.
