My God Loves Broken Things

It’s not very often I publish the words of someone else in this format, but from time to time – as I take notes for me to remember, it occurs to me that you might also appreciate them. These words from Chieko Okazaki, are comforting, reassuring and true.

Who is Chieko Nishimura Okazaki?
She was an American writer, educator, and religious leader. I came to admire her while she served in the Relief Society general presidency of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from 1990 to 1997. I looked forward to hearing her speak – she always started with “Aloha” to which the congregation always responded “Aloha” – and I enjoyed reading her words.

Chieko was born in Hawaii in October 1926, growing up in a Buddhist family of Japanese ancestry that was employed on Hawaiian plantations. She was 15 years old when Japan bombed Pearl Harbor, and her family did not escape the horror that followed, especially for those of her ethnic and cultural status. She was Hawaiian born, from Japanese heritage, and spent most of her life living in mainland America, but she confronted racism throughout her life.

As a young teen, she became a Christian, working as a maid to pay for high school. Her family (parents and two brothers) sacrificed for her education, and education became her life’s work. She received her first degree in Education at the University of Hawaii in Honolulu, her Master’s degree in Education from the University of Northern Colorado when she was 51 years old, and another degree in Educational Administration.  

Ironically, she was about the age I am now when I first became familiar with her as a speaker and writer. To me, she had a lotta credibility, and I loved her. She served in the trenches and she got it. She really got it.

In The Wilderness by artist: Ron DiCianni

“It’s our faith” said Chieko Okazaki “that He experienced everything- absolutely everything. Sometimes we don’t think through the implications of that belief. We talk in great generalities about the sins of all humankind, about the suffering of the entire human family. But we don’t experience pain in generalities. We experience it individually.

That means He knows what it felt like when your mother died of cancer — how it was for your mother, how it still is for you. He knows what it felt like to lose the student body election. He knows that moment when the brakes locked and the car started to skid. He experienced the slave ship sailing from Ghana toward Virginia. He experienced the gas chambers at Dachau. He experienced Napalm in Vietnam. He knows about drug addiction and alcoholism.”

. . . There is nothing you have experienced . . . that He does not also know and recognize. He understands about rape and infertility and abortion. His last recorded words to his disciples were “And, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world.” He understands your mother-pain when your five-year-old leaves for kindergarten, when a bully picks on your fifth-grader, when your daughter calls to say that the new baby has Down Syndrome. He knows your mother-rage when a trusted babysitter sexually abuses your two-year-old, when someone gives your thirteen-year-old drugs, when someone seduces your seventeen-year-old. He knows the pain you live with when you come home to a quiet apartment where the only children are visitors, when you hear that your former husband and his new wife were sealed in the temple last week, when your fiftieth wedding anniversary rolls around and your husband has been dead for two years. He knows all that. He’s been there. He’s been lower than all that. He’s not waiting for us to be perfect. Perfect people don’t need a Savior. He came to save his people in their imperfections. He is the Lord of the living, and the living make mistakes. He’s not embarrassed by us, angry at us, or shocked. He wants us in our brokenness, in our unhappiness, in our guilt and in our grief.
– Chieko N. Okazaki

One of my favourite songs by Kenneth Cope – Broken. Enjoy.

Warmly,

Cindy Suelzle

Would I know Him?

I have often wondered what it might have been like to live at the time of the Saviour, and to have been in His presence. I also wondered if I would have been among those who recognized Him for who and what he was. When describing the world He lived in, Robert Matthews spoke of
the spiritually barren and parched condition of a people led by proud and insistent Pharisees, [wealthy] and powerful Sadducees, exclusive rabbis and learned scribes, . . .” (Robert Matthews pg 84, BEHOLD THE MESSIAH)(1) 

There were many who were in the presence of Christ while He lived on the earth, without recognizing Him.   He simply wasn’t what they expected him to be.   In John we read that “He was in the world and the world was made by Him and the world knew Him not. He came unto his own and his own received him not.” (John 1:10,11) 

John the Baptist taught a group of Jewish leaders that the Messiah was not only already on the earth – but living and walking among them, and yet they had not recognized him.  So it is fair and reasonable to wonder if we might be any different.   And yet. . . . . . . There were those who DID recognize Him.  They testified “we have found Him! We have found the Messiah!

Andrew, Simon, Philip, and Nathanael were among the first who declared that. 
Simeon at the temple recognized him when he was only an infant.
Anna at the temple recognized the baby in Mary’s arms. 
Elizabeth recognized him before he was born. 
The magi who travelled from the east knew who He was when they found him.
The shepherds who were the very first to visit him knew who he was.

All of these people had two things in common – * THEY were SEEKING Him.  They were familiar with the scriptures which spoke of Him, they knew the signs to watch for, they knew the time was at hand. And. They. Sought Him.

There is a difference between knowing the Saviour and knowing about him. We must first learn about Him it is true, and we can do that by reading or listening, but in order to KNOW him, *we must want to know him.  *We must actively SEEK to know him.  *We must obey his commandments.  *And we must be given a spiritual witness from the Holy Ghost.  Jesus Christ may only be known through Revelation. 

If we had lived in Jerusalem and walked the same streets as did the Saviour, and saw him in the mortal flesh we would not have known that He was the Messiah unless the Holy spirit whispered it to our spirit.  The same crucial witness that we require was required of them too. That witness of course, is personal revelation. (2)

So merely being in His presence does not mean FEELING THAT ONE IS IN THE PRESENCE OF CHRIST and vice versa – FEELING the presence of Christ, does not have to mean BEING in His physical presence. In fact, they couldn’t be more exclusive and independent.

“When I Sang” – Cherie Call – open this link to listen to the music (3)
image: You are Mine by Liz Lemon

There are days when I can truly say “I have found the Messiah!” – and my joy is so full that I literally cannot contain it. It leaks out my eyes. On those days there is nothing I’d rather do than be in His service and feel His arms around me, and I want to try my best to be a “window to His love”(4). Then there are other days when life gets busy and I lose myself in the temporal demands of my day, and although I don’t lose my way, I may not feel that same wonderful closeness that I yearn for.

In the Book of Mormon, the prophet Lehi shares a dream. In it he was led to a “Tree whose fruit was desirable to make one happy.” And he “did go forth and partook of the fruit thereof; and [he] beheld that it was most sweet, above all that [he] had ever before tasted. Yea, and [he] beheld that the fruit was white, to exceed all the whiteness that [he] had ever seen.  And as [he] partook of the fruit thereof, it filled [his] soul with exceedingly great joy; wherefore [he] began to be desirous that [his] family should partake of it also, for [he] knew that it was desirable above all other fruit.”  (1N 8:10-12)

We know from Nephi that the tree represented the love of God.  Everyone has the love of God, because God loves us all. But not all of us can FEEL the love of God. What is the difference? Action. Our action. Lehi partook of the fruit of the tree – the fruit of the love of God. What is the fruit of the love of God? Apostle David Bednar says that the “fruit is a symbol for the blessings of the Atonement.“(5)  And what is the Atonement?   It is the sacrifice Jesus Christ made to help us overcome sin, adversity, and death.  He paid the price for our sins, took upon Himself death and was resurrected. So as Lehi PARTOOK of the fruit of the tree, so must we PARTAKE OF THE BLESSINGS OF THE ATONEMENT. 

David Bednar said “partaking of fruit of the tree represents the receiving of ordinances and covenants whereby the Atonement can become fully efficacious in our lives.” (4) The love of God is there. Just like the tree.   You don’t have to do anything to make it real. It is what it is. Whether you know its there, whether you care if its there – makes no difference. It IS there. And the fruit – it is there too. But in order to benefit from the fruit, in order to taste it and to be nourished by it – one must partake of it.  One must EAT it. Just like Lehi did.

Like many of you, I have felt His spirit. I have partaken of the blessings of the Atonement, received the ordinances and covenants that make the Atonement efficacious in my life – and it IS like the fruit Lehi described. He said that it “was desirable to make one happy, . . . . .” and that it “filled [his] soul with exceeding great joy”.  When one feels that kind of joy, one really does think immediately of those we love.  Like Lehi, we begin to “be desirous that our family should partake also“. 

Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life by Robin Luch (6)

That must be what it feels like to be in the presence of Christ. I think that – because there is nothing else quite like it.   Lehi described it as being more sweet than anything he had ever before tasted, with a whiteness that exceeded anything he had ever before seen, and that it was desirable above all else. Those are very vague attempts at description. It is as if it defies description.  As if words just cannot convey.  There are times when what we feel simply cannot be put into words.   Those are the times, that feelings leak out of our eyes.  At those times, we can say “ahhhhh, this is what I have heard about. No wonder they couldn’t describe it.
 
It is my hope that we might all feel that feeling at some point. I absolutely know that we can. If we DESIRE to know Him.  If we SEEK to know Him. And if we willingly PARTAKE of the fruit of His love.

Warmly,

Cindy Suelzle

footnotes

  1. quote from Robert Matthews, pg 8 BEHOLD THE MESSIAH
  2. also from Roberta Matthews BEHOLD THE MESSIAH
  3. Cherie Call – song WHEN I SANG
  4. Julie de Azevedo – song WINDOW TO HIS LOVE
  5. Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, Lehi’s Dream: Holding Fast to the Rod
  6. Lehi’s Vision of the Tree of Life , on stained glass by Robin Luch

What is Something Worth?

Many years ago, I lost my punch bowl in a move. . . .
I mentioned it to my sister and asked her to keep her eye open for one if she came across a good deal.   She phoned me one day to say “I found a punch bowl at a garage sale.   I picked it up for you if you still want one.   I paid five dollars for it.   The only problem is that its blue.”
I paid her for it and it really was quite lovely – even though it was ‘blue’.
Who would make a blue punch bowl anyway?   And why?   It makes your red punch look brown.
Still, we used it when we had company.   I would ask one of the kids to “go down and get the punch bowl“.   It started out with twelve cups but sadly, one got broken.   And the ladle is long since disappeared.   But life happens right? 

Some time later I happened to be browsing in an antique store and found the identical set.   Priced at almost $400 Cdn.  !!!   Whoah!   It is surprising how a little education can change one’s perspective.

When I thought it was worth five dollar I sent the kids to retrieve it, I let the kids wash it.  Suddenly I was saying “Don’t touch the punch bowl!  I will get it.”   In actual fact it was an INDIANA CARNIVAL GLASS Blue Harvest Grape Punch bowl set.   Popular when my grandmothers were setting up housekeeping, although neither of them had anything like it.

Even though it was the same punch bowl set, I became a little more invested in it.   A little more stressed out about ‘the kids bringing it up stairs’.   What if it dropped?   What if …. heaven forbid, another cup got broken?   Although I always take good care of things, I began to take especially good care of this punch bowl.   I began washing it personally and carefully.   I dried it personally and carefully.   . . . . .
What made the difference?   The punches I served in it still tasted the same, still a little strangely coloured because of the blue glass.   The same.   Outwardly nothing had changed.  The only thing that had changed was one little piece of information that I hadn’t been aware of before.   Information that had always been true – I just didn’t know about it.   A detail that involved somebody else’s perspective.  . . . .  IT had not changed.   I changed.   My understanding changed.   And that changed my behaviour.

It remains a good analogy to me of many things,  but mostly to contemplate what I might be worth, considering the high price my Saviour paid for me.   At some points in my life – I may have convinced myself I was only worth five dollars, and if that was true, then clearly I didn’t need nor deserve special care.   But the fact is, someone paid a very high price for me – whether I understood it or not.   Whether I even accepted it or not.   That price was so great that it caused Him “to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit”. (D&C 19:18)   His love for me was so great that He willingly took my name personally through the sacred temple of Gethsemane.   I imagine Him gently washing my wounds and drying my tears.   Personally.   And carefully.   Because my ‘worth’ to Him, is a very ‘Personal’ thing.

My punch bowl sits in an honoured place now.   In my kitchen.   Behind a glass door, where I see it often.   And it speaks to me.   Of mistaken identity.   Of inherent value.   Of Divine Nature.   Of the sacred worth of souls. . . . .
I imagine myself – a Blue Indiana Carnival Glass punch bowl set.   Sadly, one of my cups is broken, and my ladle is long since disappeared. . . .

Warmly,

Cindy Suelzle