If you knew my dad, you’d agree that he looks just like him. Most of my paternal uncles also look like him. In fact, so do most of my paternal cousins. Even my kids do! Lol. I guess he had some pretty strong physical traits.
On September 13 this year (2024), he would have turned 127 years old, but he left this earth over 45 years ago. He’s my grandfather Leland Albert Harrison.
Grampa always seemed to be old. It shocks me now to realize that he was only a few years older than me for most of the time I knew him. He suffered from gout, and was in near constant pain which restricted his mobility. It didn’t help that he was quite heavy. Which came first, his weight or his gout is hard to say, but each condition aggravated the other. He always wore slippers, even when he was outside because his feet were constantly swollen and painful.
It is well known – especially among his grandkids (of which he had many), that he didn’t know how to deal with kids. He didn’t know how to chat with kids, interact with kids, how to even keep us all straight. So he resorted to teasing. It was his only way.
He’d sit in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, and try to catch us if we attempted to get by. We needed to get by because the kitchen was full of adults sitting around the table or standing, and the living room had red plastic building bricks (the only toy I ever saw in that house). He had an extended reach with his cane, and we learned not to underestimate his reflexes. Just because he couldn’t walk didn’t mean he couldn’t grab you. We’d watch him closely and when he seemed to be distracted we’d make a dash for it. It was really rather scary. He didn’t know what to do with us when we weren’t quick enough, so he’d give us a rough head rub or twist our ears (according to some cousins, but he never twisted mine).
An inconvenience for the older ones, but terrifying, maybe even traumatic for some of the younger ones. Now I look back on it and see an old man who did the best he knew how, but from the perspective of young grandchildren it was very tricky to navigate. I never knew him any other way. One day when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old, my grandmother had sent him out to put the sprinkler on the front lawn. I was outside running around with cousins when I came upon him kneeling on the ground beside the sprinkler, unable to stand up. I stood back and silently watched him as he struggled. It was almost a reverent moment for me. I’d never seen an adult in so much need. He asked me if I would bring him “that chair over there”. I brought it, silently. I stood back and watched as he used it as a prop (with much difficulty) to help him stand. When he was on his feet, I quietly walked away to rejoin my cousins. I liked him better after that, he wasn’t just the scary grampa who sat with a cane in the doorway. He was much more . . . . vulnerable.
He and gramma lived in a tiny house they built on his parents’ property in town. In that tiny house with one bedroom and a room reserved (so I’m told) as a place to store coal (later converted into Grampa’s bedroom), they raised 15 kids. Gramma bore 16 children: one died in infancy (Earl), and one died of typhoid fever just before her 15th birthday (Dorothy Ileen). Sadly my grandmother and his mother never got along ‘to put it mildly’. Living a stone’s throw from each other didn’t help, and it must have been very distressful for both of them. I’m sure it was a series of misunderstandings and misplaced pride on both sides that caused the rift, but those feelings perpetuated themselves as life continued and offenses piled up – the older boys tormenting their Gramma Harrison with childish pranks. I never knew my Great Grandmother Capitolia Harrison, she died when my dad was only 13. But I kinda suspect if she’d been alive when I was little, I still wouldn’t have known her. Sad that friction and even enmity in families can be such a thing. And sadder still that it can ooze into future generations long after the original offenses are forgotten. (hmmmm, a life lesson there for sure)
Many years later, while expecting my first child, I told my mother I was considering the name “Afton” as a good name for our new baby if it was a girl. This was my Grandfather’s sister’s name. My mother was mortified! and told me that Gramma Harrison would be unhappy with my choice as she very much disliked her sister in law. I didn’t want to bring any grief to my grandmother so I abandoned the idea, but I was curious about the harsh reaction. My mom had never even met her. I kinda regret never knowing that part of my dad’s family. They all lived in the same little town, and attended the same congregation on Sundays. Tragic when you think of it. I wonder how they reconciled those feelings after they all met each other again in the next world. I bet there are many regrets for how they let it go on for so long.
Leland and Pearl Harrison had a lovely cozy ‘little’ home. Emphasis on little again. And it was always clean; Gramma was fastidious about clean. She had iodine on a kitchen shelf and woe be to any kid who fell and scraped their knee. Iodine hurt worse than the wound. My dad inherited her fear of ‘germs’. He was only 6 years old when his sister died, but it seemed that the years following her death were ones of hyper anxiousness on the part of his mother; today we would called that PTSD. My whole young life was all about ‘not spreading germs’. From this vantage point, I empathise a lot more with my father’s preoccupation with washing hands and clean dishes. Typhoid fever is a terrible disease caused by a salmonella bacteria that is spread through contaminated food or water. It is most common in rural areas of developing countries where there isn’t modern sanitation. I guess small farming communities on the Canadian prairies in the 1930s qualify. And people continue to be contagious with typhoid fever long after they’ve recovered.
Grampa often asked us “whose kid are you?”
I would answer “I’m Wes’s daughter Grampa. I’m Cindy.” I was never certain whether he was teasing or if he really didn’t know. But now, I’m quite certain our sheer number and the fact that we only showed up for a few hours once a year in those days, didn’t help. There was never a hint of any question that Gramma knew us though. Gramma would cup our faces in her hands and kiss them and tell us she loved us. She knew where we fit in and who we belonged to. Her!
He’d call my sister and I “Winder and Cinder” which would always make us giggle, and implied to us that he at least knew OUR names. Some days anyway. He was a tease in every way. It was the only way he knew how to deal with people. And he teased my gramma mercilessly. There may have been a time early in their marriage that she laughed at his teasing, but she wasn’t laughing when I knew them lol. He’d tease her and she’d lash out with some rebuke, then he’d respond with “Don’t be mean to me Mama. You know you love me.” It was very entertaining to us grandkids, but I felt a bit bad for Grampa because it seemed he was always the injured party. One day when I was a young teenager, I confessed to my mom that I thought Gramma was mean to Grampa, and that she hurt his feelings. Mom told me that he’d often reach over and lift up her dress with his cane – which embarrassed her and prompted her rebukes. I had missed that little detail. No wonder she was mad at him.
He was also very accustomed to being waited on hand and foot. She took care of his every need. It probably never occurred to him to peel a potato or wash a dish or even push the toaster down. She fed him every meal he ever ate.
In those days 70 years old was a lot older than it is now, and though he never drank a drop of alcohol or smoked a cigarette in his life, he was not the picture of health. His sheer inactivity was probably his biggest problem. From my vantage point now, I think he deserves some credit for holding his own when literal hoards of adult children, nieces and nephews, grandchildren and other relatives would descend on their home on given day throughout the summer time. In that small house, there was only one place for him to be – sitting on his kitchen chair in the doorway.
I wish I had known the man inside him. I never did, but I treasure the few memories I share with my siblings and my cousins of him. As scary as they were while we lived them, they make us chuckle as we relive them. He died when he was 80 years old, one month before our first child – a son, was born. They overlapped for that short time in the spirit world. I hope they knew each other.
Happy birthday Grampa.
My guess is you’re celebrating with Lemon meringue pie. I’m quite certain they serve that in heaven. It was my dad’s favourite too; perhaps you’re sharing it together.
Warmly,
Cindy Suelzle
* Grampa died March 17 1978. Leland Albert Harrison * Gramma died 12 years later, at the age of 88, April 16 1990. Pearl Cora Reece Harrison
In preparing to write this article – and at the same time, preparing to teach a workshop in our community garden – on Homemade Borscht, I asked a lotta friends to tell me about their Borsch. Every lover of borsch has “their” variation. There are so many different variations that its hard to know what someone else is talking about when they use the word, and how they can all be called the same name! Some people insist on a brothy soup, some people prefer a thicker version. Some use meat broth, some feel that an authentic borsch must be meatless. Some use a cream at the end to cut the acid. Some do not.
Food is part of culture and identity – whether it be in a family, a community, a region, a religious group, or an entire country. Food can be shared and can unite people in the sharing. While there may be regional differences, people from all over eastern Europe are familiar with “Borsch” or “Borscht”. Ukrainian, Polish, German, Romanian, Croatian, Georgian, Russian and others all have their ‘authentic’ versions, but the general consensus is that the dish originated in Ukraine.
People move, and food travels with them. Food moves more easily as long as it moves horizontally (east-west) where climates remain similar. Food is an important part of tradition and memories, and being able to keep favourite dishes a part of one’s life is valuable in adjusting to the many changes that come with a new life in a new country. One cannot over estimate the importance of the food people have been raised with, and families can be quite rigid about not messing with ‘gramma’s recipe’.
In the last part of the 19th century a general exodus from Eastern Europe into western Europe, Australia and North American began in earnest for those seeking a better life. Dan’s family came from Germany, some spending a generation in Poland before coming to Canada. My ancestors came from Denmark, Sweden, England, Wales, Scotland and France. It is always difficult to move to another part of the world, but the travails of immigrants in those days were intense, including breaking land and homesteading. There was much hardship. Both Dan and I feel a deep debt of gratitude for their sacrifices – which made it possible for us to be born here, in this land of plenty and relative safety. And yes, there are still a residue of favourite family dishes among them which have lasted long enough to be part of our family’s heritage.
Let’s get the spelling out of the way first. Borsch or Borscht? The ‘T’ comes from the Yiddish transliteration into English since it seems that the dish was introduced to the west by Jewish refugees fleeing Eastern Europe. So both spellings are equally correct, and no wonder there are so many recipe versions of it. Jewish refugees to the US. Ukrainian refugees to western Canada. Polish, German and Russian refugees throughout the western world. They had one thing in common – the food they all grew in their home countries: root crops, cabbage and dill. These vegetables grew equally well in North American soil and climate (especially in the northern parts) so it was natural that the dish would be reproduced here. Every part of it was something the average farm in the northern hemisphere could produce at home. The ingredients were cheap, plentiful and dependable. The soup was hearty, nutritious and satisfying. How could it lose?
Does Borsch had to be red? In a word – ‘no’. I’ve seen ‘green borsch’, but that’s blasphemous so I’m not gonna talk about that other than to say it is generally a spinach soup – so where it gets off referring to itself as ‘borsch’ is a mystery. Borst IS red. In my mind, beets make borsch RED. If you don’t like beets, don’t make borsch. If you make borsch without beets, you made soup. Might be a good soup, but find a new name, because “borsch” is red. There. Glad we got that settled.
So what is IN borsch? Keep in mind that traditionally borsch is a peasant soup. A good ol’ downhome, country folk hearty beet soup. So that means it had the foods that were easy to come by. Potatoes. Onions and garlic. Carrots. Cabbage. Maybe celery for some. Maybe kale for some. In later years, as it traveled west – peppers and tomatoes; a hundred years ago, tomatoes were not so plentiful in north eastern Europe among farm folk. BEETS. Vinegar. Dill. Sometimes meat, sometimes not – depending on availability. Sometimes sour cream.
So how do you find out which type of borsch you prefer? Well, there are no shortcuts. You have to try a few to narrow it down. Personally, I like a borsch with lots in it. I’m okay with a more brothy base, but I rarely make it that way, because Dan prefers a thicker soup. So I make my brothy soup, then when its nearly ready, I take about 1/4 of it and puree it in the blender. Adding the pureed portion back to the pot makes it thicker and more substantial, and my family prefers it that way. You do you. Make it a few different ways – but keep the basics in place.
What are the basics? BEETS. Added near the end to keep the colour beautiful. Onions and garlic. Other root vegetables like potatoes and carrots. Don’t hesitate to add parsnips if you have them. Cabbage. Of course. Some sort of acid – lemon juice of vinegar. In the spirit of authenticity I do not use lemon juice because I am pretty sure no Ukrainian Baba had lemons in her kitchen. The acid is said to keep the red vibrant, and who am I to question wisdom of the ages? Maybe it does, but I like the flavour enhancement anyway. Its not the same without it. Broth. The kind is completely up to you. Beef broth, chicken broth, vegetable broth, water. Whatever you have on hand. I generally use chicken broth or chicken bouillon – simply because it’s light and flavourful. Tomatoes or tomato paste. A relatively ‘new’ (but welcome) addition as Ukrainians wouldn’t have had access to tomatoes on the prairies a hundred years ago. Dill. Other than the onions and garlic, dill is the primary seasoning. Don’t add it too soon though because its a delicate flavour and you might lose some of it’s beauty.
How to make it
1. precook your beets There are many ways to precook your beets, but the easiest is to clean them then place in a covered roasting pan or wrap them in tin foil, and roast in a 400 degree oven for about an hour. Test for tenderness every 15 minutes after 45 minutes. The timing is going to completely depend on how big your beets are – could be an hour, could be more. When you can insert a fork easily, they’re done. Remove from heat and when slightly cooled, peel.
2. Chop your onions and garlic and sauté in oil of your choice over medium heat till translucent. Stir frequently to prevent scorching, while dicing fresh potatoes. *hint: yes, you can add your onions and garlic to the broth mix at the same time as everything else. I prefer to saute mine first as I think it adds to the flavour and I like a more caramelized texture, also it glazes the pot – adding a roasted taste.
IF, you’re going to add meat, either precook it or add it to your onions at this point to brown.
3. Add potatoes to pot and sauté with the onions for a few minutes. Add salt and pepper at this point. Add broth or water, stir well and bring to a boil while you’re chopping cabbage and carrots.
4. Add chopped or sliced cabbage – it seems people have strong opinions on which is best. You do you. (Personally I prefer chunks to slices in a soup.) Stir and add carrots. Bring back to a boil, then reduce heat and gently simmer till all is tender. At this point, add additional Iate-summer vegetables as desired: parsnips or kale perhaps.
5. Add vinegar. Start with 1/2 cup, then add more later if you want. Easier to put more in than it is to remove so start with less and adjust as desired. You can use plain white vinegar. I like to use a flavoured vinegar, perhaps a basil or chive blossom vinegar.
6. Continue to add broth as needed to keep the soup gently simmering. Add tomatoes if desired. Adding tomatoes, tomato paste or tomato powder adds that familiar light acidy taste of tomatoes while improving the texture and colour. I never buy tomato paste – preferring tomato powder so that I have more control on how much I want to use with no waste. In this case however, I generally have a lot of fresh tomatoes in the late summer early fall – so I’ll choose my ripest tomatoes. Continue to cook until tomatoes are fully incorporated and lost their shapes.
7. When your vegetables are tender, add your peeled and chopped cooked beets. Stir well to incorporate colour and let sit for a few minutes. You could be done at this point, ready to add your dill and serve up a nice brothy soup. Or you could take one more step to thicken your soup as I do.
8. Ladle out two cups of soup into a blender, and puree. Pour back into your pot and stir well. If desired, ladle out two more cups and do the same thing, stirring back into the soup. This step is completely subjective. You’re looking for a texture, colour and consistency that you prefer. Remove from heat.
9. Add fresh, chopped dill weed (the green part) and stir well to incorporate. Lots of dill. What does that mean? How do I know? How much do you like dill? Maybe a cup? Maybe more or less. I add at least a cup, but easier to add more later than remove, so start slowly and taste along the way. . Adjust salt and pepper as desired and remove from heat. At this point you can add some sour cream to the pot, or save that for individuals to add to their own bowls.
10. I always save the sour cream to be added to individual bowls at the table with additional fresh dill, because I like sour cream and Dan prefers without.
So much of what your borsch is going to look like will depend on individual tastes. There’s no point in making it a specific way if your family prefers something different. For instance, I know people who add caraway seed to their soup at the simmering stage. Caraway is the one spice that I do not like, so that’s never been a consideration of mine. But its worth trying different things from time to time – you never know how it might add to your over all dish.
Serve with fresh bread or buns. Some nice fresh sourdough served alongside is amazing. Or some nice dark rye bread.
I’ll provide a sample recipe with suggested amounts below for beginners to have some ideas of where to start.
Borsch is a meal in itself, especially served with bread. But serving it alongside a plate of perogies, cabbage rolls and kubasa would be the perfect winter meal.
recipe for 6-8 servings 1 medium onion chopped 2-3 cloves garlic minced 1 large potato diced 3-4 cups chopped fresh cabbage 6 cups broth or water salt and pepper to taste 4 carrots peeled and chopped into nice big pieces nice big handful of fresh kale chopped 1/2 cup – 1 cup chopped fresh dill (reserve some to use at the table) fresh sour cream for directions, refer to numbered instructions above
Pour remaining soup into jars to refrigerate or to give away. That’s a wonderful thing about soup, its a great gift for someone who could use a meal tonight, or its easy for them to pull out of the fridge tomorrow.
Home Canning (and by that we really mean home ‘bottling‘) is the easiest, most reliable and economical way to preserve food at home. It can be done in your own kitchen, doesn’t require a whole lot of pricey equipment, and has a reasonably long shelf life – up to two years. Yes, I know you know someone who’s had their home canned food for eight years (we all do), and that supposedly “it’s still good”. To that I repeat: “the shelf life is UP to two years“. My suggestion is strongly not to push it too much past then.
Fact: Food is Food. You cannot prevent it from spoiling, you can only slow it down. Canning it will preserve it, but not forever.
Don’t expect home canned food to be what it cannot be, and everything will work out fine. It’s reality is that the nutritional value of canned foods (commercially or home canned) is about 40% of what it was when it went into the canner. I admit I was super disappointed when I learned that fact, mostly because I raised my children on home canned food, especially fruit, and I thought I was doing the best thing I could for them. In reality, I really was doing the best I could for them, but when one gives it some thought, those peaches are in boiling water for 40+ minutes. What did we expect? After the recommended shelf life of two years, we can expect that the food will lose more of its nutritional value, which is why I highly advocate not trying to keep it past that suggested time. Having said that, if something gets away from you and you’re into the third year, don’t sweat it – just use the food.
As with any type of food storage, the bottom line is to STORE WHAT YOU EAT, and EAT WHAT YOU STORE. If you do that, you’re gonna be okay, if you do not – you will end up wasting a lotta money. Canning isn’t magic. It cannot make something perishable last indefinitely.
So what’s the point? And why should I can?
Because it’s a good way of extending the valuable useable time of perishable food, preserving good and nutritious food today, to use tomorrow. Instead of preparing for immediate consumption, you are preparing food that you can store for months! Make no mistake, canning IS cooking, but it allows us to capture the best flavour at the peak of season—to enjoy all-year long! Garden Roasted Tomato Sauce, Homemade Garden Salsa, a bowl of peaches, rhubarb to go on your morning oatmeal, raspberry jam – all in the middle of winter! THESE are why we can!
Back when my kids were young we canned a LOT of fruit. When the price was good we’d buy a 100+ pounds of peaches (our favourite) and pears, maybe 50 pounds of cherries, apricots or plums. I’d can half of the plums and dehydrate the rest. Though I did the bulk of the work during the day it was a big job, so it had to be a family affair. Dan always pitched in when he was home and we required the kids to help out. And yes, I got backlash from time to time (especially from one of our boys who shall remain unnamed at this point), but I flat out insisted that everybody help. We all enjoyed the end result of having peaches with breakfast in February, so it only made sense that we all pitch in to make that a possibility. At some point, when this one un-named boy was a teenager, he put his foot down and refused to be involved in the project anymore. HE was not peeling peaches (or pears or whatever it was). He disliked the work and he’d had enough; it was too much work for him. He was too big to argue with so I told him that was fine, but as with anything there are always consequences, and the consequence to this choice would be that he’d be giving up enjoying the “fruits of our labour”. He couldn’t expect to eat peaches that someone else did all the work to put on the table. I reminded him about how much he enjoyed eating peaches in the winter. I also reminded him that the likelihood of me forgetting in February that he didn’t help in the summer was next to zero. He may have thought about it for all of thirty seconds, and in the end he trusted me, and put on an apron. I’m not gonna pretend he was happy about the job after that, but we never had that same conversation again.
My daughter on the other hand, looked forward to “canning season”. It was just as much work for her, but there was something about her that made that work enjoyable in its own way. My other boys were fine to pitch in and participate, it was after all – the means to the end we all wanted: fruit in the winter. Many memories were made in a hot and sticky kitchen on those long summer days. One summer I went away for a week with a friend. Sarah was 14 years old, and diligently went through the grocery store sales flyers in my absence. At one point she saw that peaches were a ‘good’ price and she believed they would likely not still be that price when I came home. With urgency, she told her dad that he must pick up several boxes of peaches on his way home from work the next day – which of course he did. While I drove home from New Brunswick with Peggy, Sarah and Dan canned those peaches from beginning to the end. I was amazed when I got home, and kinda still am as I look back on it. I was very proud of her, and I wish that I had expressed that better than I did. I was proud not only that she felt it her ‘motherly’ duty to can peaches in my absence, but also that she took it upon herself to judge when the price was right, make the decision to buy, judge when they were ripe enough to bottle, and then take charge of actually getting it done. Dan wisely let her do all that, and then in typical Dan style, he put on an apron and began peeling peaches.
the method
The method is to use high temperatures to kill microorganisms and inactivating enzymes that would cause food to spoil. The heating process pushes air from the jars, creating a vacuum seal as they cool. Without oxygen the bacteria, yeasts, and mould will not grow and the food will last a lot longer.
There are two methods: hot water canning, and pressure canning. They are NOT interchangeable. This article deals with HOT WATER canning. How do you know which method is used for which type of food? It’s pretty straight forward: high acid foods require the hot water method – the easiest. What are high acid foods? Most types of fruit and berries. Some suggestions to consider: Apples: apple juice, apple jelly, apple butter, apple sauce, apple pieces, crab apples … Apricots, apricot jam, Berries whole, berry jam, berry syrup, Cherries whole, cherry jam, cherry syrup, cherry juice, Cranberries whole, cranberry sauce, cranberry jelly, cranberry juice, Grapes, grape juice, grape jelly, Grapefruit and Orange sections, Citrus marmalade, Mixed fruit combinations (cocktail), Nectarines, Peaches, Pears, Pineapple, Plums, Rhubarb
adding acid in the form or lemon juice or vinegar
To most fruits I add a Tablespoon of lemon juice to a pint (500 ml), and 2 Tablespoons lemon juice to a quart (or litre), just as an added precaution. I don’t bother with rhubarb because that is acidic enough.
Tomatoes (yes tomato is a fruit): cold pack whole or cut up, tomato sauce. Less ripe tomatoes are more acidic. Very ripe tomatoes are sweeter and less acidic. (Can them before they’re very ripe and soft.) I add 2-4 T vinegar to my tomatoes, depending on how ripe they are. Sometimes I use flavoured vinegar like basil vinegar – just for an added flavour that we like. Your choice.
Low acid foods require the higher temperatures that only using a pressure canner can provide. They include ALL vegetables and proteins.
Hot water canning involves boiling your fruit in glass jars in a big pot of water. There are pots specifically designed for this- called water bath canners – that consist of a large DEEP pot, a rack insert, and a lid. When purchasing, ensure that you have room for a quart jar to have at least two inches of water covering and plenty of room for water to boil. For small batch canning, I often just use my pasta pot because it checks all the boxes and its in my kitchen cupboard already so its handy. It is good for all my smaller jars: my pints, half pints and smaller that I may be using for jams or syrups.
If I am canning quart jars I use a bigger stock pot that I keep up high on my pantry shelf, so not easy to retrieve but not terribly inconvenient either. I can process up to seven quarts in this pot so its perfect! The important thing to remember when repurposing non-canning-specific pots is to put something on the bottom to prevent your jars from being directly on the bottom of your pot. A rack that will fit your pot will help keep the bottles from ‘jumping’ around when the water is fast boiling, preventing unnecessary trauma and possible breakage. If you have a rack that fits then go ahead and use it (I picked up a few different sizes from a thrift store years ago). Otherwise, use a folded dish towel in the bottom of your pot. You’re mostly trying to protect the bottles from banging around during boiling.
Boiling water is 212 degrees Fahrenheit, sufficient for high acid foods like most fruits, pickles, tomatoes, sauerkraut, relishes, salsas, and all sorts of jams. It is the acidity of these foods helps preserve them safely without the need of higher temperatures and pressure.
Supplies
Canning jars: not to be confused with single use jars. These are jars intended to be used at extremely high temperatures. Use ONLY clean jars without cracks or nicks in them.
Lids and rings (screw bands): those that are made for the particular jars you’re using. Do NOT reuse them. They are single use only.
Water bath canner: for water-bath canning, it isn’t necessary to purchase a special canner as long as you have a pot that has a fitted lid and is large enough to fully immerse the jars in water by 2 inches—and that will allow the water to boil when covered. You’ll also need a rack that fits inside the pot or canner.
Jar lifter: very important, this tool is relatively inexpensive but indispensable. It is essentially large tongs to assist you in putting jars into HOT water, and in removing them again out of boiling water.
Wide mouth Funnel: sure makes it easier to fill your jars without spilling and making a mess. You can buy plastic or stainless steal. I have both, but I prefer my stainless steal one. I use it for much more than camping – almost daily, for lots of applications.
Utensils: large spoon or ladle to fill jars, and a simple table knife to remove air bubbles.
Clean dish cloth to wipe jar rims, and clean dish towels upon which to place you processed jars.
10 Tips to Review Before you Start
Always use the FRESHEST produce possible – in peak condition. Overripe fruits are lower in acid and are already in a state of decomposing. It is important to know that produce begins to deteriorate IN THE HOUR it’s harvested, so fresh means AS IMMEDIATE AFTER HARVEST as you can get it.
Gather all your ingredients and equipment beforehand, so that they’re at your finger tips. It is so frustrating to realize at the point of no return, that you don’t have that extra bag of sugar or additional lids you thought you had.
It is critical to pay attention to “CLEAN” throughout every part of the process. Freshly CLEAN your jars in HOT soapy water – rinsed with hot water and set aside with a clean cloth cover. Sterilizing jars is good, but current advice is that if the food is going to be processed in a boiling water bath for at least 10 minutes, sterilizing is not necessary. CLEAN however is not negotiable; pay attention to it. If you have a dishwasher – running your clean jars through a cycle should get the job done. In years gone by, I always had my CLEAN jars in a hot oven till I used them, but I hardly ever take the time to do that anymore.
Use REAL canning jars, screw bands, and lids – intended for canning. Jars: Many jars that we may recycle are intended only as ‘single-use’ jars. They were not made to go in high temperatures and are liable to break. They also do not fit regular canning lids which are critical. Those single-use jars may be suitable for dry storage, but they are NOT suitable for canning. Lids: Use only NEW lids, not previously used. New lids have a rubber inner ring intended to seal during the process. They do not need to be heated to activate the sealing compound before placing on the jar top, but I usually heat them anyway – by placing them either in a pan of water that I bring to a boil, or by dipping them into the boiling hot water bath with a lid holder that I have for that purpose. This is just one further way of ensuring they’re CLEAN.
5. “Head Space” is the air space from the top of the contents of the to the top of the jar; it is important to ensure the jar seals properly. Head space and can vary depending on the food (usually between 1/4 inch to 1 inch but on average – 1/2 inch). During the boiling process, contents of your jars expand, and if the head space is too little for the contents (bigger contents like peaches, pears or tomatoes for example) the contents may expand into headspace and jeopardize the clean seal of the lid. Insufficient head space may even cause the contents to boil over and escape the lid, causing a big mess in your canner and again, jeopardizing the seal. You could leave up to an inch to prevent those contents from expanding into the headspace. It is important to remember that even liquid expands when it boils.
So what about too much headspace? If too much headspace is left, the food on the top may discolour in time. That in itself isn’t a terrible thing, but in the case of too much air, processing time may be inadequate to push out all the oxygen within the jar, again preventing a good vacuum and therefore a proper seal. Having said that, I’ve had times when the syrup in my fruit boiled over (having not left sufficient head space) and yet the jar sealed. I’ve had times that everything seemed perfect and yet the stupid jar didn’t seal. I’ve had time that I left too much head space and the jar sealed and times that I had too much when it didn’t seal. The bottom line is that we’re looking for optimum protection from potential spoilage through aerobic bacteria (an organism that can survive and grow in an ‘oxygenated’ environment) so we want to do our best to follow proper canning procedures. In principle, following the procedures closely will leave us with no oxygen in the jar. We’ll know we accomplished this when the jar seals.
6. It is VERY important is to wipe the jar rim and threads clean before putting on the lid and screw band. Having any fruit or syrup residue along the top will prevent a good seal with the lid. When putting on the ring / screw band – don’t tighten more than finger tight. It’s job is not to seal the jar, it is to keep the lid in place while the jar is processed and during the cooling process when the vacuum is complete. After 24 hours the ring can be removed to reuse on other jars.
7. Using the jar lifter, place each jar on the rack in the boiling water. I always put the jars in at a slight diagonal to prevent a possible air bubble creating in the slight dome on the jar bottom. Make sure that the jars are covered by at least 1 to 2 inches of water. Cover the pot with lid and bring the pot to the boil. Start counting processing time once the water has returning to a boil. I usually turn the heat down a bit to keep it at a steady rolling boil but not a furious boil. Allowing the water to hard boil at high heat the whole time, may cause some water loss. If that happens simply top it up with small amounts of new water making sure you don’t pour directly onto the jars.
8. When processing time is done, turn off the heat and remove the canner lid venting the steam away from yourself. Remove each jar with the jar lifter and place upright on a nice thick clean tea towel to cool. Keep a space between them of 1 to 2 inches. Let jars cool 12-24 hours. Do NOT make the mistake of tightening the rings as soon as you remove your jars from the canner. It’s typical that the rings may loosen a bit during processing – that’s okay. Adjusting them while the jars are hot may disturb the seal and interfere with successful sealing. Overcome that rookie temptation.
9. How do you know a jar has sealed? Another rookie temptation I’ve seen people give into is pushing the centre of the lid when the jar is still hot. Their intention is to “finish the seal”, but that is not what happens. The natural ‘ping’ of the jar sealing on its own is indication that it’s sealed. By interfering you don’t have that indication and you will not know if it has properly sealed. It is important to test each jar to ensure it’s sealed properly before putting it away. Wait until the jars have cooled at least 12 hours and up to 24 hours before you test the seals. You may notice that the level of the contents is lower. Relax. It’s okay and it is what it is.
A vacuum is created during the sealing process, by drawing the oxygen out of the jar – pulling the lid down, forming a shallow depression in the centre of it. So what you’re looking for is a concaved lid. * Gently press the centre of the lid with your finger. If it is properly sealed there will be no give, Great. If the lid springs down and up when you press and release your finger, there is no seal, Shucks! Don’t despair. It happens sometimes, especially in the beginning when you’re learning. Put that jar in the fridge and eat the contents in the next few days.
In general, your canned foods should last all year long, as long as they are stored in a cool, dry place. When you open your jar, you should have considerable resistance and need a spoon or table knife to loosen it. It should POP audibly when the seal is broken. If it opens too easily – like with your hand, the lid is NOT sealed and that’s a sure sign that air has gotten in. Not good. Do not keep it. Dispose of immediately.
What signs am I looking for down the road, that a seal has been jeopardized? *a broken seal (the lid is no longer concave) – this is likely because it wasn’t a good seal to begin with; *a bulging lid (in home canned or commercially canned food) is a sign of spoilage; *a lid (not the outside ring) that is corroded or rusty is a sign of spoilage; *when you open your jars or cans and see mould or bubbles or cloudiness, its a sign of spoilage. In all these cases – dispose of the contents immediately.
10. One sign that your jars have sealed properly is the gentle “popping” or “pinging” sound” you hear as the jars cool. The wonderful sound of jars ‘pinging’ is music to the ears of anyone who home cans. It tells you “Job Well Done!” Now all you have to do is wipe up the mess and wait for the next round. Jars that don’t seal can NOT be stored. Put them in the fridge and use within a few days.
It might sound at this point, that its all problems but in actual fact MOST jars seal, so relax – you’re doing the right thing. Home canning is still a good way to preserve food. Because you canned, you can enjoy the taste of summer fruits (and vegetables if you pressure can) in the middle of winter, and you can also customize recipes to suit your family’s taste preferences and dietary needs.
The biggest concern of any canning is botulism poisoning. Botulism is an illness caused by the botulinum toxin. Back in my grandmothers’ days, botulism was a real thing and something most people knew to be fearful of, but not always how to avoid it. Even today I hear people say things like “My grandmother canned all her vegetables in a hot water canner and they never had a problem.” That makes my blood run chill. I am ashamed to say I was one who blatantly (and I might add – foolishly) disregarded my father’s warning about botulism and canning vegetables without a pressure canner. I didn’t take it seriously in those days and I’m sure I caused some him some unnecessary stress by my flippant attitude. It’s a dangerous game to play. People die from stupid attitudes like that. My father’s sister died of typhoid fever when she was just 15 years old. It was scary and people didn’t always know how to avoid it. I expect that might have had something to do with him being especially vigilant about foodbourne or waterbourne illnesses. I’m glad I smartened up, but I do regret the worry I caused him.
In actual fact, the bacteria that causes botulism occurs naturally in soil and normally doesn’t cause a threat to people. However, they are a very hardy type of bacteria and thrive in LOW-ACID, low-oxygen environments, like those we create when we can foods. When food is canned improperly, the bacteria grows and produces their deadly toxin botulin, making the food unfit for consumption of humans or animals alike. 65% of botulism outbreaks have been traced to home-processed foods.
It is critical that the environment inside the bottled or canned goods be INhospitable to the bacteria by canning only high ACID foods at normal water boiling temperatures of 212 degrees Fahrenheit or 100 degrees Celcius. Low acid foods must be processed at 240 degrees F which can only be accomplished using pressure. For this reason, I habitually add a tablespoon of vinegar to my tomatoes and a tablespoon of lemon juice to all my fruit as an additional acid precaution (in honour of my dad).
I no longer can in the same quantity I used to. For one, I don’t have five growing kids living in my house anymore. I no longer buy fruit for the purpose of canning. I preserve the EXCESS of what I produce myself, and sometimes produce that is given to me – produce that we have more of than we can enjoy FRESH. The “excess” of that produce.
Another reason I don’t can in the same quantity anymore is that there is no such thing as ‘a good price’ for the fruit I used to can so much of. This makes it necessary to be more creative in what and how I preserve, and more ready to take opportunities when they come our way. It makes it more important for me to have a home garden and to make friends with the fruits and vegetables that want to grow in my part of the world. It makes it all the more important for me to find good nutritious food in times of plenty and to learn to preserve the excess of it for times of less.
And yet another reason I don’t can in the same quantity that I used to, is that about 12 years ago I discovered freeze dried food which has an extended shelf life and higher nutritional value. Not everything is suitable to be freeze dried, just as not everything is suitable for canning, drying or freezing. I love that I have the flexibility to take advantage of all preserving options. Click HERE to see other methods of preserving, and the freeze dried food I prefer.
In many ways it was easier back then, when I could count on finding peaches for a good price every July or August. All told, thousands of man-hours were spent in my kitchen by those who would eat later as well as today. I am glad I took those opportunities to learn the skill. I am glad for all that practice. I believe it is an important skill to have.
So go ahead, can the apples that you grow, cherries or plums. Find some recipes for jams that sound good to you, or that friends share with you. I’ll share some of my favourite jam recipes in another post. Find some recipes for sauces and salsa – I’ll share my favourites in another post. One of the fruits I can the most is tomatoes (and yes – tomato is a fruit). I fresh-can them and I roast them in the oven to can for sauces later. I have also begun canning rhubarb – never thought I’d see the day, but we love it in the winter this way.
I hope you’ll tell me about your experiences, including your successes and failures. Failure is just another lesson learned about how not to do it again. I’ve had lots of those – you likely will too.
It’s about choosing your life partner with eyes WIDE OPEN – because getting married is NO SMALL THING!
This post may seem quite a departure from what I usually write about, but in actual fact, if anything – it is foundational for our family. I am posting it, because I’ve had so many requests for the information that it made sense to have it accessible this way instead of printing it off every time. And in actual fact, it is a living document – meaning it gets amended from time to time as life and circumstances dictate. Sometimes I am reminded of another ‘question’ that should be addressed, so I add it.
When we were engaged Dan and I lived in different cities, and consequently spent many hours on the phone and on the highway. Talking. We talked about important things. We talked about dumb things – some of which turned out to be more important than we expected. We talked about who and where we came from, our goals and aspirations, our values and priorities, traditions and parenting styles we admired, our religious beliefs, things that made us laugh and tick, and our “non-negotiables“. We talked about WHY we wanted to get married and what we expected out of marriage. We found common ground and we ironed out differences. We made promises to each other about things we’d do and things we’d never do.
Years later I was repeatedly amazed at how glad I was for those long uninterrupted conversations. They weren’t always fun bytheway, some led to hurt feelings and there were tears, and some became arguments of ideals. But they set the ground work for the next 40+ years. Many of those commitments we made still stand as absolutes in our life.
I had assumed that everyone had those conversations before they married and came to eventual common ground on important issues, OR decided there was not enough common ground and parted. I was shocked to hear from friends married decades who still had disagreements about things as basic as how to give gifts and how to celebrate Christmas. I asked one of my friends how it was that they hadn’t worked that out before they were married. She said they never thought about it. Plain and simply – it never occurred to them to discuss those things then and now years later, they still don’t. They just muscle through them when necessary and try to minimize the resulting misunderstanding and hurt. Till the next time it comes up.
When my daughter became engaged I wondered when she and her fiancée would find the time to talk about all these things. I worried about what would happen if they didn’t.
I drafted up a list of questions that I was glad Dan and I had addressed when we did, and some that came up later that I wished we had.
I called the list – Engagement Questions because I couldn’t think of anything more clever or creative. The idea behind them was to take as little baggage to the alter as possible. I’ve added to and amended the list many times since then and have given it to all my children, nieces and nephews, friends and anyone else who asked for it. Now I’m giving it to my grandkids. And now you.
My daughter and her fiancée didn’t get married bytheway. They realized they couldn’t resolve some pretty important differences. Yes it was heartbreaking when they ended their relationship, but much easier before the alter than after. One son and his fiancée also chose not to get married with another heartbreak. Those are hard things to go through, I know. But getting married is serious business, and deserves serious preparation. I am happy to say that since then, both of them found their eternal companions that they built a life together with.
Too often more time, energy and means are dedicated to preparing for the wedding than for the marriage. In actual fact, when it comes right down to it, how much do the wedding details matter later (the grand reception, the gifts received, the honeymoon or even the guests), when compared to the marriage? One day compared to the rest of your life, and in my religious beliefs – marriages can be eternal. That’s a long time. Most of us can prepare BETTER for marriage than we do. In fact it is critical that we do.
I highly recommend these kinds of conversations.
it began with our story
During our courting year, we lived almost four hours apart by car. I was in grade 12 and living on the air base in Cold Lake Alberta. Dan lived in Edmonton. We met two years earlier at my sister’s wedding, just weeks before my family moved back up to Cold Lake – my dad being transferred there. I stayed in Edmonton for another couple weeks till the end of summer, completing my commitment to babysit for some family friends.
Dan and I dated casually, knowing that I was leaving, but we were too young and the distance was too much for any lasting relationship. We stayed in touch from time to time the old fashioned way – letters, and he even drove up to see me once or twice, and I saw him a time or two when I came to Edmonton over the next two years. Then one day on a whim, on my way home from spending the summer in Vancouver with my sister and her husband, I phoned him and we reconnected in a new way. I was 17 years old and just going into my final year of high school. Dan was 21. I know, both still so young. Kids really.
Two weeks later Dan came to Cold Lake to see me on a Saturday. We went on a picnic at one of the beautiful lakes in the area, and after that, we spoke regularly. He came to see me every weekend, arriving Friday, staying till Sunday. I spent Sunday mornings at church, so he joined me. Only weeks into our renewed relationship, he proposed and I accepted, beginning a long distance courtship that involved lots of time on the phone, letters and weekend visits while I finished high school. We also spent lots of hours on the highway between our two families that year which allowed for a lot of time to ‘talk’.
Four driving hours each way – and radio reception was sketchy at best, so we talked. About everything. I was young, energetic, creative and very idealistic. I was exploring my religion attending seminary every weekday morning and church every Sunday, anxious to go into the world after graduating and make it a better place. He was more pragmatic and down to earth. We talked about our families and backgrounds, our personal histories and experiences, our religious beliefs and personal values, and our aspirations for the future. We talked about our individual family circumstances, relationships, habits and traditions, the things we liked about our upbringings and the things we’d change in our own future family. We talked about music and literature. We talked about extended family and our relationship with them; I had cousins by the dozens, he had nine. I didn’t know there were people in the world with so few cousins and he couldn’t believe I knew all my cousin’s names let alone had meaningful memories of them all. I loved all my aunts and uncles, he hardly knew his. We talked about traditions, and the ways our families celebrated holidays like Christmas. His family teased and poked fun – my family could not be teased and poking fun was hurtful. Because he was with us every weekend, he saw my family in all their colours: the good, the bad and the ugly. I saw his family to a lesser degree but we both understood that we were products of where we came from.
Although from the outside looking in, we appeared very similar and perhaps even an easy match – over the course of these long car-ride discussions, we discovered many differences between us. Yes, for all intents and purposes, we came from similar cultural backgrounds, we were both ‘Christian’, and we had even both grown up on military bases in military homes. But our experiences and viewpoints on important things were very different. Neither of our families were religiously inclined, but I was, and was becoming ever more so as I got older. This created many more differences in our individual views of the world and our futures, particularly our combined prospective ‘future’.
How grateful I am for those long conversations. There was hardly a single piece of music we both enjoyed, but through it all – we found shared core values that were strengthening, and mutual respect for each other, including for our differences. We agreed on important ways to navigate our life together, and we made commitments toward certain courses of action we would take. We promised to never speak ill of each other, never to raise our voices to each other, speak in anger, swear or be abusive. We promised to be united in parenting, and to never argue in front of our future children. We promised to work out our differences privately and to always present a united front to our children. We promised to keep the ‘word of wisdom’ which is to avoid alcohol, tobacco and other harmful substances.
I am not going to pretend that life has been a bowl of cherries, or that we didn’t continue to find differences after we were married, or that we were perfectly obedient to the commitments we’d made in those long car rides. But I am going to say those conversations became foundational and helped us understand each other. We referred back to those commitments we made over and over again as we navigated married life for many years after. And that is the whole point. There will always be differences that we have to figure out, and curve balls we didn’t see coming, but doesn’t it sound like a good idea to minimize those as much as possible in the months preceding the wedding? I mean how much time do couples spend creating a gift registry? Or the details of their wedding? I assumed all married couples had that same experience of ‘learning’ about each other and how best to put two lives together, but I’ve been amazed over the years to discover many did not.
Flash forward many years, when our daughter became engaged and it occurred to me that she and her new fiancée didn’t have long hours of driving to talk about everything that ‘mattered’. When would they have those discussions with all the distractions they had? I worried about all those inevitable ‘differences’ and when they would be sorted out. We all have baggage when we enter a new relationship, but wasn’t the point to start life together by taking as few ‘bags’ to the alter as possible?
I thought about all the things Dan and I had talked about as we got to know each other. I thought about the commitments we made to each other based on those discussions, and in particular, those commitments that had sustained us through rough times.
I started writing some of them down, and the list grew from what we had discussed and found helpful, to things that I wish we’d known enough to discuss and which may have been helpful. This is that list. It has evolved and been amended many times over the years as the need arose. For all intents and purposes as mentioned, it has become a living, breathing document. It was given to each of my children in their courting months, and offered to all of my nieces and nephews and even my grandchildren. I hope that it has been of value to them – I believe it has, to the degree that it was taken seriously. Perhaps it might be of value to you or someone you love who is beginning a marriage.
the list
This list of questions is intended to be the beginning of ongoing dialogue between couples who are seriously dating toward marriage. Ultimately, its purpose is to increase understanding and mutual respect between you both and to prevent the bringing of unnecessary problems and differences to the marriage alter. Please go through them together, in the order that they are presented as they are designed to progress one section per week, from Temporal to Spiritual. Take your time, don’t rush through them. Don’t delude yourselves into believing these things won’t matter in the future, or that they’ll simply resolve themselves or disappear. That’s taking a pretty big risk.
You may discover one or two questions are repeated – this is not an accident. It is intended that the question be considered from a different perspective. Perhaps in your discussions, you might realize you have new insight. It is not necessary for you both to agree on everything or to attach equal importance to everything. How could that even be possible? Siblings don’t agree on everything and they were raised by the same parents in the same house. What matters is that whether you agree or not, you respect the other’s viewpoint. Sometimes that’s all you can do, and then simply go forward.
Often times what is important to one, is not so important to the other. In our case that happened a lot, so we agreed that if one partner didn’t really care about an issue, it was easy to defer to the one who felt strongly. For instance, it was important to Dan to use good “table manners”. He was particular about what that table etiquette was. As a youth he had admired a friend’s family’s dedication to this simple and respectful habit and he decided then that he wanted that in his future family. It was important to him to have a proper table set for every meal. None of this grabbing a bowl and a comic book and scarfing down your meal. I didn’t have strong feelings about it one way or the other, but I could see it was important to him. I agreed that we would always do that, especially once our kids came along. When they did, Dan often travelled for work during the week, so there were frequent meals when he wasn’t present. I faithfully set the table and taught table etiquette whether he was there or not. Over the years, it became more important to me as well, and when our kids grew into young adults and found themselves in various social situations, they were confident and comfortable in every circumstance. I was always grateful that had become part of our life. It is far more common in our household for me to have strong feelings about the way things should be done. Dan is generally more easy going and laissez faire about most things, so I’ll admit – we generally lean to the way I like things done.
WARNING: I have spoken to some who felt that answering the “right” way would win them brownie points, and that “if I didn’t say that [he/she] wouldn’t have married me“. That is so wrong! On every single level its ‘wrong’. And it’s a set up for disaster – which I have seen play out. Trust is one of the most basic foundational elements of a happy marriage. By misrepresenting yourself in discussing these questions, you not only show yourself as a person void of self confidence (that you couldn’t be straightforward), but much worse, you violate TRUST. Self confidence can improve over time in a loving relationship, but starting marriage out on a bed of lies, is to trample what should be sacred to all marriage partners – Trust. You owe it to yourself, your potential partner and your future families to be open, upfront and honest from the beginning, and to be SAFE for your partner to be just as open and honest. You are in a HEALTHY relationship when you can express your deep feelings even if they differ from your partners. The stakes are too high to be anything less.
Having said that – I concur with psychologist, marriage counsellor and author Doug Brinley when he expressed the view point that any civilized society must allow divorce – the alternative is unthinkable. However, “commitment” is a pretty important factor in marriage that can outlast most other things. It’s entirely possible that at some point years down the road, you may go for a time when you wonder if you still love each other. Commitment will get you through that. If you’re not willing to commit to ‘commitment’, then perhaps you are not ready to marry.
Temporal
1. Finances: Money, and the use of it, is unavoidably part of our everyday lives and is one of the biggest causes for contention, arguments, and divorce.
– What is my / your / our – commitment toward TITHING? What is my / your testimony regarding this important commandment? What do I pay tithing based on – the gross or the net? How do I determine that? How strict am I in my obedience? We know that tithing is a principle with a promise. What promise? What blessings do I expect in return for my obedience? Is it wrong to expect a blessing when I am obedient to the principle upon which it is founded?
– Who will handle the day-to-day finances?
– What are our long term financial goals?
– What sacrifices are we prepared to make to reach those goals?
– What are our financial goals for the next year? For the next five years?
– What kind of a budget will we set up? What kind of commitment will we have to it?
– How will we pay for dentist bills? Eye glasses? Prescriptions? Car repairs? Emergency purchases like a new furnace? New fridge?
– How will we make large purchases?
– The strong counsel of the church has always been to stay out of unnecessary debt. What would constitute unnecessary debt? What is debt justified for?
– How do I personally / you personally / we – feel about debt? What commitment do we have to adhering to the counsel of prophets on this important subject?
– What purchases would we consider going into debt for?
– Credit cards are a valuable tool in our world. They are also the vehicle for a terrible form of bondage. In what ways is this true? What is my commitment toward the use of credit cards? What am I willing to do without in order to keep that commitment?
– How will we fit gifts into our budget? For each other? For others? How will we plan to pay for Christmas?
– What is normal in my family / your family – regarding gift giving? What is tradition? What do I / you want to continue? What adjustments are we willing to make in order to be unified in this area?
– Regarding gifts, does equal mean ‘the same’ / identical? Do we need to provide the ‘same’ way in order to provide equally? Do we need to spend the ‘same’ in all things in order to be equal? Do our individual needs, need to be ‘the same’ in order to be of equal importance?
– Keeping in mind that we come from two entirely different backgrounds, what is important to one family, may not be important (or even meaningful) to the other. If one family has never done something before, and has no expectation of it, how necessary is it to begin doing it, simply to keep things ‘equal’ between our two families? What examples can we think of that this might apply to? What can we do to avoid this being a contentious issue? What changes or compromises do I/you/we feel are important to make so that we bring the best of both our upbringings to this area, and so that we are both comfortable?
– What things, or in what areas do I/you personally consider important enough to spend money that may not be an area others would consider important? What do I/you consider unimportant? What do I/you consider a waste of money? What would I/you really have a problem justifying spending money on?
– What do I consider fair in the way of financial accountability to each other, and what do I consider over the top and being too controlling or too controlled?
– There is a big difference between the financial struggle that accompanies shared goals, effort, sacrifice and growth, and when that ‘struggle’ morphs into feelings of helplessness and even despair. Although uncomfortable, struggle and growth are healthy and good. But there is no peace in debt. Living beyond our means soon enough causes distress. Financial distress causes despair. In what ways is despair different than struggle? How will we be able to tell the difference? What will we do if somehow, we have allowed ourselves to get into a financial situation that causes despair? What measures will we take to rescue ourselves?
– What commitment do we make to stand on our own two feet as a new family?
– At what point do we go to our families and ask for help? How do we avoid or prevent ourselves from asking for help too frequently and expecting someone else to repeatedly rescue us from poor choices we’ve made? Who will we feel comfortable asking for help? When do we ask for help? And what arrangements do we make to repay that help?
– How important is it to share our good fortune with others? What obligation should we feel toward being charitable? What does charity mean to me/you? Is giving without sacrifice really charity? What sacrifices are we willing to make to help another in need?
2. Careers: no matter what your career choices, making a living and your personal satisfaction in it is a foundational part of your life together.
What are his or her long range career goals?
Where does he or she realistically expect to be career-wise in one year? Five years? Ten years?
What effort will be required to achieve these goals?
What sacrifices are we prepared to make to accomplish these goals?
What skills will we have acquired sufficiently and have enough experience in, to fall back on if or when an additional wage is needed?
What are we willing to do to ensure that she or he has an additional marketable skill?
Will she work after children come into the family?
What are our feelings about mom being in the home? What are our family backgrounds in this area? What are each of our personal priorities? How has my/your attitude and commitment been influenced by the experiences and priorities we grew up with?
How important is it to me that our children have a mom home fulltime? And for how long? How important is it to you?
The Proclamation on the Family states: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.”
How important is it to us that we are in line with this or any other prophetic counsel?
What adjustments in our attitudes and perspectives do we need to make to be reconciled with this prophetic counsel?
What are we willing to sacrifice to achieve this?
3. Family roles and household responsibilities: In marriage – little things are BIG things. I am convinced it is important to have roles established. Roles are important, they create structure.
For instance: in our marriage, the house has always been MY responsibility although Dan is quick to help whenever it was needed. Providing financially has always been Dan’s responsibility, but I have always done whatever possible to help ease the burden while still maintaining a strong presence in the home. Cars and the lawns have always been Dan’s domain, while gardening has always been mine, although we’ve both chipped in when needed. Dan does the heavy work, I do the ‘fiddley’ work. Dan enjoys barbequing (as did my dad), I enjoy indoor cooking. Dan wants meat so he, for the most part cooks it, otherwise we would be eating much less of it. Those were our established ‘roles’, that we ourselves chose and were comfortable with. At times however, necessity demanded that we adjusted – sometimes dramatically for a time. Like when we bought the store – and I managed it for the twenty years we owned it. That was an ‘adjustment’, sometimes even a painful adjustment, but it was not a permanent reversal of roles. When the need abated, former rolls fell back into place. – Cindy Suelzle
What are your priorities in the area of roles and expectations? In our house, we refer to “The Proclamation on the Family” for guidance. “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation..” 1
– How will the chores be divided up? How will they differ or adjust if or when ‘she’ quits work to nurture children? Or continues working?
– Who will take responsibility for what area?
– What are our role definitions?
– What are our role expectations?
– What skills do I need to acquire or improve upon to be a better wife/mother/nurturer?
– What skills do I need to acquire or improve upon to be a better husband/father/provider?
– What am I willing to do to learn better skills, and what am I prepared to do to help YOU learn and grow in your responsibilities?
4. Health, Food and Nutrition:
– What do we consider important here?
– How will we deal with minor illnesses in our family? What kinds of medication do I consider appropriate? How will we deal with major illnesses?
– Review Section 89 of the D&C. How do we interpret this section? What are our insights? To what extent are we willing to follow the noncompulsory parts of its direction?
– What kind of responsibility do I feel toward proper nutrition? What are my standards on the “quality” of the food we buy or grow and feed our family?
– What foods are “comfort foods” to me? or my personal or traditional favorites? Do I have an opinion on the ‘type’ of foods we eat as a family?
– Am I willing to have new food experiences? What foods do I have a strong dislike to? How will we compromise here?
5. Family Preparedness and Food Storage:
When we were newly married, we decided on some basic things which we thought were important to acquire for our independence and self reliance. ie: a few flashlights, coal oil lanterns with extra wicks and sufficient oil for many days use, wheat grinder, food dehydrator, canner, sufficient jars for home canning, juicer, battery operated radio etc. Money was always scarce but the motivation was high. We used birthdays and Christmases and any other opportunity to acquire them for each other, put on a wish list or sacrifice to purchase. – Cindy
– What are our priorities in the area of Family Preparedness and Emergency Preparedness? What is the difference?
– What are our goals? What are we prepared to do to meet these goals?
– There is strong counsel to STORE WHAT YOU EAT, AND EAT WHAT YOU STORE. To store food you don’t normally eat, doesn’t make any sense at all. But to not eat what you’ve got stored to keep it constantly rotated makes even less, and leads to waste. Wasted food = wasted money.
– What are our individual opinions on the counsel to store food? How do we feel about that counsel and what is my/your/our commitment to it?
– How does that counsel fit into what we see going on in the world around us?
– How much of our family budget are we prepared to spend building up and then maintaining our year’s supply of food and other necessities?
– How will we obey the prophet’s counsel to plant a garden in whatever living situation we find ourselves? Remember that he gives us no commandment without providing a way for us to accomplish that thing.
6. Entertainment and Gifts:
President Hinckley said “When there is a good movie in town, consider going to the theater as a family. Your very patronage will give encouragement to those who wish to produce this type of entertainment. . . . There is so much that is good, but it requires selectivity. . . . . In large measure, we get what we ask for.” “…if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.” A/F 13
– What is my favorite type of entertainment? – What would I consider doing as a regular form of entertainment? – On a monthly basis? – On a once in awhile basis? – On a seasonal/yearly/anniversary celebration basis? – How much money would I consider fair and reasonable to budget/spend on these forms of entertainment? – Some couples do not give gifts to each other. Some consider it very important. How do I feel about it? How do YOU feel about it? If our opinions differ, what will we do here? – What would I expect in the way of a birthday gift? Christmas gift? Anniversary gift? – What would disappoint me and hurt my feelings concerning a gift from you? – What would I absolutely love to receive from you? – What type of gift would always be a hit with me?
7. Personal standards:
Personal standards are hugely important, and they affect every facet of our lives. We are ruled by our own personal standards. So, what are mine? Am I consistent with them? Do they transition smoothly to all areas?
President Hinckley said “The flood of pornographic filth, the inordinate emphasis on sex and violence are not peculiar to North America. The situation is as bad in Europe and in many other areas. The whole dismal picture indicates a weakening rot seeping into the very fiber of society. Legal restraints against deviant moral behavior are eroding under legislative enactments and court opinions. This is done in the name of freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of choice in so-called personal matters. But the bitter fruit of these so-called freedoms has been enslavement to debauching habits and behavior that leads only to destruction. A prophet, speaking long ago, aptly described the process when he said, “And thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell” (2 Nephi 28:21). ……. I am satisfied that there is no need to stand still and let the filth and violence overwhelm us or to run in despair. The tide, high and menacing as it is, can be turned back if enough … will add their strength to the strength of the few who are now effectively working. I believe the challenge to oppose this evil is one from which [we], as citizens, cannot shrink. …. Respect for self is the beginning of virtue. That man [woman] who knows that he/she is a child of God, created in the image of a divine [parent] and gifted with a potential for the exercise of great and godlike virtues, will discipline himself against the sordid, lascivious elements to which all are exposed. Said Alma to his son Helaman, “Look to God and live” (Alma 37:47).” – Gordon B. Hinckley
– How do I feel about protecting my home, my family and myself from the plague of Pornography? – What steps am I prepared to take to assure we are not poisoned by it? – What about inappropriate music? And other forms of entertainment which chase away the spirit of God? – How do I feel about the prophet’s admonition to not watch R–rated movies, or anything like unto them? – How important is it to me to have the spirit of the Lord in my home at all times? What am I prepared to do to make sure it is always there? – Do I sup from the scriptures daily? And do I consider it important to study daily as a couple and family? – How will we do this? What commitment will we make to each other to continue? – If circumstances interfere from time to time, what will we do to get back-on-the-wagon? – How important is it to me to align myself with the counsel of the leaders of the church? Of what value is this in my life? – How important is it to me to have a clean house? What does this even look like to me? What am I prepared to do to accomplish this? – Do we have similar standards on personal hygiene/grooming? Are we compatible in this area? – How important is it to me to keep a close relationship with my immediate and extended family? – What am I prepared to do to learn to appreciate and come to love YOUR family? -If one of my siblings needs help, what obligation will I feel toward them? Will I feel the same obligation to one of your siblings?
Etiquette is a societal thing; it changes from one society to another, but wherever you live, it is very important. It is a set of ‘norms’ of personal behaviour in polite society. They show respect to others. Eating at someone else’s table where you don’t understand their etiquette can be offensive, disrespectful, intimidating and embarrassing. Learning regional and cultural variances is easy to adjust to when you have a good foundational knowledge of some basics. Understanding and being comfortable with good table manners will always put an individual in the advantage. – Cindy Suelzle
– How important are table manners and table etiquette – including setting a proper table to me? How will they help us be comfortable in social situations and help our kids to be comfortable eating with others as they grow older? – What about good manners in general? – Speaking about personal respect for each other . . . . – How will we show respect to and for each other? – How will we honour each other? – How should we treat each other in public? What things should we agree to NOT discuss with other people? What guidelines could we agree on to ensure that we do not say things around other people that may hurt our sweetheart’s feelings? How will we know when we have offended our sweetheart’s feelings? And what will we do about it? – What do I consider RUDE? What do I consider inconsiderate or thoughtless? – How do we fix things between us? – What do I need to feel ‘safe’ enough to discuss with you, things that are important to me? …things that are sensitive to me? …. things that are hurtful to me? What can I do to help YOU feel ‘safe’ enough to discuss those things openly with me? – We have been admonished to study “out of the best books”. How important is a “gospel library” to me? How important is it to me to have a good “classic” library? What kind of plan should we implement to accomplish our goal?
President Hinckley said “You know that your children will read. They will read books, and they will read magazines and newspapers. Cultivate within them a taste for the best. While they are very young, read to them the great stories which have become immortal because of the virtues they teach. Expose them to good books. Let there be a corner somewhere in your house, be it ever so small, where they will see at least a few books of the kind upon which great minds have been nourished. … Let there be good magazines about the house, those which are produced by the Church and by others, which will stimulate their thoughts to ennobling concepts. Let them read a good family newspaper that they may know what is going on in the world without being exposed to the debasing advertising and writing so widely found.”
– How important is music to me? – What do I consider worthy/appropriate music? President Hinckley said “Let there be music in the home. If you have teenagers who have their own recordings, you may be prone to describe the sound as something other than music. Let them hear something better occasionally. Expose them to it. It will speak for itself. More appreciation will come than you may think. It may not be spoken, but it will be felt, and its influence will become increasingly manifest as the years pass.”
– How important is it to me to develop a musical talent of mine? What kind of support will I expect?
8. TRADITIONS
– How did my family celebrate Christmas? What was my favourite part?
– What was our traditional meal? – When did we open gifts? What kinds of things did we get in our stockings? – How do I feel about continuing my family’s Christmas traditions into our own family? – How do I think we should keep Christ in our Christmas celebrations? – What are the best parts of the ways we each celebrated Christmas in the families we grew up with? – What could we do differently in our home that we will both be happy with? – What traditions will I bring with me? You with you? Do we agree on the value of these traditions? – How did my family celebrate Easter? What was my favourite part? What part do I want to continue in my own family? – How do I feel about Halloween? – Thanksgiving? – Summer vacation? – What is my favorite holiday? And why? How can I share my enthusiasm for this special day with you? – What style of furniture do I like? What can I be happy with? What compromises am I willing to make?
SPIRITUAL
1. Temple:
The temple is a place of learning – everything in it is symbolic of important gospel truths, and every one of those symbols are intended to help us learn about our relationship with God. We can receive personal revelation while in the temple AS we properly prepare to be there, give ourselves the time to pay attention, the time to think and ponder, keep our dialogue appropriate to temple worship, reflect on our experiences, read and study related gospel material and return often.
– With a temple so close, many couples set a goal or regular attendance. What are our feelings about that? – What is my feeling about the promise of eternal families that temples represent? – What goal have I set personally, and will we set as a couple relative to temple attendance? – What commitments are we willing to make to each other and to ourselves about continued temple worthiness?
2. Private Spiritual Commitment:
– What commitment will we make specifically about scripture study, individual/couple/family prayer, journal writing and family record keeping? – How will we choose to preserve family memories? (i.e. photos, slides, videos, albums, scrapbooks etc) – What Christ-like attribute most impressed me about you? drew me to you? and made me want you for my companion? – What is the thing I admire/respect most about you that I would like to emulate in my life? – How important to me are the laws, ordinances and principles of the gospel? – How important is it to me to be align myself to them? How important do I think it should be? Is there even any value in obedience? – What efforts am I willing to make in my personal desire to have a relationship with my Saviour? – What is my feeling about regular church attendance? – What is my feeling toward church service? – The counsel of the church is to dress as if we are wearing temple garments, even if we are not. How do I feel about modesty in dress and speech? – What commitment do I feel to dress so that I reflect church standards at all times?
3. Forgiveness:
Lamanites in the Book of Mormon had a generational hatred for the Nephites – based on perceived offences and tradition. Their tradition was simply to ‘hate’ all things Nephite. We know through our study and understanding of the Book of Mormon that their justification for hatred was flawed, based on misunderstandings that they blew out of proportion, and that ultimately resulted in PRIDE. Tribe-Pride is when someone takes on the feeling of justifying unforgiveness or even hatred, because it unites them with their ‘people’. Maybe their people are a school or a community or a religion or a nation or a race or socio-ethnic group or a gender or even a family . . . .
Pride is the feeling that “I am right!” and it is often followed by us taking this stand “I have a reason to be offended because you did something unforgivable.”
But – – What if WE made mistakes? – What if WE caused offence to another? – What if WE knowingly or unknowingly hurt another’s feelings and they were having a hard time forgiving us because of it? – What if WE didn’t even know that we had caused that offence? – What if WE deliberately said unkind things to someone because we were protecting ourselves, our family, or felt they deserved it? – And what if those unkind things caused a rift in our family that lasted for years? – What if OUR children and that person’s children could never be ‘friends’ because our pride and refusal to forgive forbid it? – What if WE became responsible for generational hatred?
What if Heavenly Father refused to forgive us? In actual fact, that is what we are in danger of because the Lord tells us in D&C 64:9 “he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin”. And again in Mark 11:25,26 “… if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”
– What if WE took steps to try to understand another’s perspective? – What if WE realized that our perspective / our understanding of a situation may have been flawed? – What if WE had misunderstood a situation, mis-read someone’s intentions, and took offense where none was intended? – What if WE came to realize that we were perpetuating a perceived offense to justify our own hatred toward another? Turning it into a tradition. Making it a source of Tribe-Pride.
– What if we came to realize that we had become part of the problem? – What could we do to resolve the disharmony? – What would we be willing to do? – It is not possible to be in harmony with God while harbouring hatred for another. – It is not possible to be a committed disciple of Jesus Christ while refusing to forgive another.
– Are there any situations in my life / your life that cause me / you to feel poorly about one or more individuals in our families? – Is it possible that my / your justifications for feeling a certain way may be ‘perceived’ or misunderstood? and that the offender didn’t mean to offend?
4. Church Responsibilities:
– What is my commitment level to callings and responsibilities within the Church? – How willing am I to serve selflessly and faithfully in the Church? – What will I do to encourage my partner in his/her ministering stewardships? – What will I do to support and sustain my partner in his/her individual callings? – What sacrifices am I willing to make for my commitment to the gospel of Jesus Christ and His Church?
5. Tithes and Offerings:
– What do I regard as an honest and full tithing? – Do we agree on what we consider Increase? _ How do I feel about fast and other offerings? – What do I consider a generous fast offering? – Do we agree on this? – What about other donations such as the Perpetual Education fund or the Missionary fund? – Do I believe that blessings will come into our lives as a result of our obeying the law of tithing? – What about contributing to other funds organized by the Church for the benefit of the charity the Church provides individuals in need? – Do I have an understanding of the principle of ‘offerings’? – What is my testimony of this subject?
6. Sabbath Observance:
– What do I consider proper Sabbath observance? – What are some of the things we should DO on Sunday? – What are some of the things I feel that we should NOT do in order to keep the Sabbath day separate and holy? – What are our expectations of each other in this area? – What would disappoint me regarding our / your Sabbath observance?
7. Family Home Evening:
President Hinckley said “A better tomorrow begins with the training of a better generation. This places upon parents the responsibility to do a more effective work in the rearing of children. The home is the cradle of virtue, the place where character is formed and habits are established. Family home evening is the opportunity to teach the ways of the Lord.”
– What will we do to ensure that we observe the counsel to keep Monday evenings for family when we are still just a couple? What will we do to use this opportunity to strengthen our family in the gospel? – How will we keep it a priority? – What commitments are we prepared to make now about Family Home Evening (FHE), that would directly impact our future children regarding the importance of family time and “home centered – church supported” teaching?
ROMANCE
It is a mistake to marry with the intent to change your partner. It’s also not fair. They are what they are, and expecting them to change before you can fully accept or love them is unrealistic and sets them up to fail, and yourself up for disappointment when they do – all based on expectations that never should have been there. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t grow and develop and become better people as individuals and couples – and that we shouldn’t expect that growth and development to be a real and breathing thing in our marriage. We can see the potential in our partners and still love them today.
I love this song by Michael McLean that speaks to that beautifully.
1. Friendship:
– What things are important to me in our continued relationship as FRIENDS? – What are my expectations from a best friend? – What am I prepared to do to BE your best friend? – What do I consider healthy as far as other best friends in my/your life? – What freedom will I be willing to give my spouse in their pursuit of relationships with other friends?
2. Date Night:
– How committed are we to obeying the council to have regular date night? What value do we see in this practice? – What good examples can I think of concerning regular date night observance? – What are we prepared to do on a daily basis to keep the romance in our marriage alive? – How will we observe special days such as our Anniversary? Each other’s birthdays? Valentine’s Day? Etc. (i.e. some couples celebrate their anniversary date by attending the temple to do sealings. In this way it is a continual reminder of the covenants they made and the promises they can depend on.)
3. Safe Guarding the Other’s Heart:
– If I intend to be happily married to you in 40+ years, what am I prepared to DO and to GIVE until then to ensure it?
– How will we talk about each other in front of other people? (even if we are upset with the other) – How will we talk toeach other in front of other people? – What precautions will we take to ensure we never undermine, belittle, ridicule, embarrass or insult our sweetheart? (in private or in front of others) -What if we do offend the other not intending to? What if they get their feelings hurt over something we considered innocent or even funny? – How will we refer to each other? What terms of endearment am I comfortable with? – What will we do when we fall out of love? (WE WILL bytheway) – How will we stay married, and healthy and committed to each other if one day we think that we’ve grown apart? How will we help each other through it? – How will we communicate to each other that we are in distress, and that something is very wrong in our relationship? – What are we prepared to do to overcome major difficulties in our relationship? – What do we expect from each other in the area of commitment and communication? To God? To our marriage? To our children? To our own family? To Family Home Evening? To Date Night? To our extended families? To the Church? And to our community?
4. Intimacy and Pregnancy
– How do I/you feel about purity before marriage? – Can we be honest with our personal history concerning that? – Can we deal with it? – Do we see the need for using a form of birth control? If so, what form will we use? – What will we do to make sure we are educated and properly informed about current methods of birth control? – How important is a feeling of ‘trust’ and safety to me in regards to intimacy? – How important do I think it is that we both feel comfortable about being open and honest in our discussions about intimacy? – What will we do to be sure we are educated and properly informed about pregnancy and child birth? – What will we do to ensure optimum health for Mom and baby? How involved do we want Dad to be in the birthing? – What if the unthinkable happens? ….. miscarriage? What if … our baby dies? How will we help each other through this hard thing? – What if another unthinkable happens? . . . . . infidelity? What will we do? Can we see ourselves able to forgive? What are our ‘non-negotiables’ in this area?
5. Parenting
– How many children do we want? – Will Mom stay home to raise them? – What is my idea of discipline? – What are some things that I consider very important in child rearing? – What should we as parents do to ensure that we teach by example such things as respect for womanhood? Manhood? Etiquette? Table manners? Good housekeeping? Personal cleanliness? Personal responsibility? etc. – What are things I consider essential to teach children? – Where will we turn to learn parenting skills? – How will we teach our children that the Church is true? That we love, respect and obey the prophet of God? And that Jesus Christ is the cornerstone of our life? – How will I show my children that the scriptures are important to me? And that they can come to know Jesus Christ through their own personal study of them? – What efforts will we make to encourage our children to stay active in the Church? And to adhere to the counsel it provides? – How will I show them the importance of education and help them to develop a love of reading? – What are some absolute taboos concerning children in my opinion? – What do I feel very strongly about – concerning behaviors we will encourage, those we allow and behaviors we will absolutely forbid? Do we agree? What should we do to ensure compliance with these behaviors? – What if we have an unhealthy, disabled or otherwise challenged child? Perhaps a down syndrome child, or one who has a serious illness or disability? How do we plan to be the best parents possible no matter what that looks like? – What did our parents do right in the parenting department, that we’d like to emulate? – What improvements can we make over our parents’ best attempts, to continue to become the best parents our children deserve?
Other things of importance to consider.
– What are my priorities in the area of TIME? – What do I consider a big waste of time? – a moderate waste of time? – Where would I absolutely draw the line in my flexibility of my partner doing something I consider to be a waste of time, money and energy? Or something I feel very strongly against?
– What are my priorities in the area of money? – What do I consider a big waste of money? – a moderate waste of money? – Where would I absolutely draw the line in my tolerance of my partner spending money in what I consider to be a waste of money? – How would I like to spend the hours of an entire free day with you? – How would I like to spend the hours of an entire free day without you?
note from Cindy: These questions have been edited continually since I first drafted them for Sarah – many years ago. I think it’s helpful to be accountable to someone that you have indeed been through each one. For my kids, I tried to give them one sheet at a time, and when they told me they were ready for another, I gave it to them.I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to communicate, now and throughout your marriage. If there are serious ‘issues’ with any of these questions, be aware of them today, before you are married. If they cannot be resolved, learn that now – BEFORE you go to the alter.
Add to them as you see fit.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Warmly,
180 years ago today, June 27 1844, right around the time I am writing this – 5:00 PM, Joseph Smith and his brother Hyrum were murdered by a mob of armed and painted men while confined at Carthage Jail in Hancock County, Illinois. Climaxing over 24 years of persecution, their deaths sealed their testimonies, making them religious martyrs in ‘the land of the free’, ironically the one country in this world founded upon the tenet of religious freedom.
Inspired artists of all genres have lent their talent to portraying the life and mission as well as the death of these great men. Painters, sculptors, poets, educators, writers of books, songs and scripts, film and stage actors, musicians and singers, have brought their testimonies to life and tears to the eyes of those they speak to. This beautiful (new to me) image painted by artist Andrew Knaupp depicts the minutes leading up to the deaths of Joseph and Hyrum.
Pay particular attention to the two brothers in the middle, look closely. Note the brotherly love on their faces as they looked at each other for the last time in this life. Put yourself there. Did they know it? In seconds from that look, the world would change.
“Facing your own death,” said Knaupp “is one thing. Facing the death of your brother at the hand of a mob is another. …. I was trying to capture, as close as I could, what it might have actually looked like, …… so that it might transport the viewer to that moment. …. “. It transported me.
“I can’t think of someone better, that the Prophet would want to have been with in those final moments, than his brother Hyrum.” – Andrew Knaupp
This second image – painted by artist Liz Lemon Swindle, is aptly called OH MY POOR DEAR BROTHER HYRUM. Hyrum was shot first and died almost immediately. “In life they were not divided, and in death, they were not separated” said John Taylor who was witness to the martyrdom and the days prior to it – himself severely wounded. Of Joseph he said “He lived great, and he died great in the eyes of God and his people, and like most of the Lord’s anointed in ancient times has sealed his mission and his works with his own blood and so has his brother Hyrum.” (D&C 135:3)
Praise to the man who communed with Jehovah! Jesus anointed that Prophet and Seer. Blessed to open the last dispensation, Kings shall extol him, and nations revere.
Praise to his memory, he died as a martyr; Honoured and blest be his ever great name! Long shall his blood, which was shed by assassins, Plead unto heaven while the earth lauds his fame.
Great is his glory and endless his priesthood. Ever and ever the keys he will hold. Faithful and true, he will enter his kingdom, Crowned in the midst of the prophets of old.
Sacrifice brings forth the blessings of heaven; Earth must atone for the blood of that man. Wake up the world for the conflict of justice. Millions shall know “Brother Joseph” again.
Hail to the Prophet, ascended to heaven! Traitors and tyrants now fight him in vain. Mingling with Gods, he can plan for his brethren; Death cannot conquer the hero again. – William W. Phelps,
Brothers written and sung by Kenneth Cope
I love the Prophet Joseph, I have from the first day I learned about him. I felt a sureness of who and what he was from that early time that has never wavered. I am indebted to him for a lifetime of service and sacrifice that ultimately changed the world. He was a critical player in events leading up to the day in which I live, and is a core figure in the way I personally choose to worship Jesus Christ. I revere him and honour him as a prophet of God. And I love Hyrum Smith too, for the goodness of his heart and his unfailing support of his prophet brother from day one. He is an example to me of long suffering and unfailing, guileless charity and love. I know that Jesus Christ lives and is intimately involved in the day to day happenings of this world. He loves us, and I love Him.
As a Lamb to the Slaughter written and sung by Jason Deere
The interesting name is pretty straight forward and self explanatory. Mexican street vendors serve this creamy, messy deliciousness on the cob. Creamy, tangy, and a bit spicy, it’s become a favourite in our house, but corn on the cob is a very short season where we live. Our preferred way to serve corn on the cob is grilled on the barbeque in the husk, and we cook a lot – hoping for leftovers. From those leftovers, I cut the corn off and freeze it in beautiful grilled strips. This is the BEST way to make street corn, but alas, eventually, I’ll run out of that frozen corn. The next best way is to toast your corn in a hot skillet to get that toasty taste and ‘grill’ marks. In that case I always use freeze dried corn because I always have it on hand and never run out.
1/4 cup butter or olive oil or a mixture of both 4-6 garlic cloves minced 1/2 an onion chopped OR cup 1/2 cup freeze dried chopped onion 6 cups fresh grilled corn OR freeze dried corn 3/4 – 1 cup fresh chopped OR freeze dried chili peppers 1 T flour + 1 T cumin + 1 T chili powder + 1 teaspoon salt + 1 t pepper + 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika + – ALL mixed together. 1+ cup of water (if you are using freeze dried corn, keep a few more cups on hand to use as needed) 1/4 cup lime juice or zest and juice of 3 limes 1 cup cotija cheese (found in Mexican / Hispanic grocery stores) OR freeze dried shredded pepper jack cheese 1/2 – 1 cup fresh cilantro lightly chopped 1/2 cup mayonnaise – sour cream if you have it on hand, to make it a little creamier – *optional: 1/4 cup fresh chopped mint *optional: crumbled feta cheese *optional: toasted pumpkin seeds
Toast onion, garlic and corn in butter in medium hot skillet stirring constantly to prevent burning. It’s ready when it is lightly toasted and aromatic. Add chili peppers and stir in. Add 1 cup water to corn mixture in skillet to refresh. Add more water as needed – 1 cup at a time till you decide if you need more. Add the seasoning mixture in all together and stir to incorporate thoroughly. Remember the dark colours of chili powder and paprika will colour your street corn, so don’t add any more than recommended. Remove from heat and taste test for seasoning. Add mayonnaise and stir in. Add lime juice and stir to combine. When all ready, sprinkle cilantro, mint, feta and pumpkin seeds on top generously.
One of the life defining moments that influenced the direction I ultimately chose to follow in life was, as an adolescent, observing my Uncle Merlin kneeling in prayer beside his bed. I was walking from the bathroom to my cousin Jeri’s bedroom during a sleepover. I had never seen a man kneel. I instinctively knew he was praying even though I had never seen such a thing.
I didn’t know that dads knew how to kneel, let alone pray. Actually, it was so unusual that it struck me as pretty funny. Hilarious in fact. With a wide grin, I whispered to my cousin “I saw your father praying.”
Thank-you Uncle Merlin for a private lesson – taught thru your kind and gentle example of Christlike living. You changed my life, and because you changed my life, many years later, you altered the lives of my family, and of my future family.
The truth is, if I was to be completely honest – I wasn’t that good of an influence on my cousins. I sometimes got them into trouble because they were too nice to shut me down, and I often pushed things a little too far even for their comfort (though I did make them laugh). I think that sometimes my Aunt Jolayne must have dreaded me coming over, although years later she adamantly denied it. She certainly never ever made me feel like she did; she let Jeri keep inviting me, and she always made me feel welcome.
Thank-you Aunt Jolayne for YOUR private lessons – taught thru your kind and gentle example of Christlike living. You changed my life too. I owe a lot to you and Uncle Merlin. And I will love you forever for what you both did for me. And through me, for my family, and later for my children’s family.
I sometimes wonder where my life would have led me had I not had this moment, and a myriad of other seemingly insignificant little moments like it that added up. I wonder where I would be now, and by extension where my family would be had my uncle not been transferred to the same military base we lived on when I was a young girl. . . . I told my aunt many years later that I believed they moved up there for ME. That quite literally, Heavenly Father loved me enough and trusted them enough to not let him down – to orchestrate that event with all it entailed because of the sheer weight of influence that would come of it. I told her that I was told by my mom she was unhappy about moving up there to what she then considered the edge of civilization, but that I was convinced it was for ME. Not at the time of course, but with adult eyes as I reflected upon all that came of it. I thanked her for being patient with the direction God led them, and for letting Him prevail.
We must never, ever, ever underestimate the power of good example and charity. Trust in God. Let Him Prevail. See every moment as a gift with which to do something ordinarily good. Take every opportunity to be kind – even to those you don’t know are observing. And because we’re human, and we can’t possibly always be good – be quick to apologize, and turn it around. Share the gospel by showing and doing. THAT is true religion.
Sometimes its simply a matter of looking OUTSIDE the proverbial box. This quick quiche loaded with protein and vegetables is eaten like a pizza. I call it QUICHE PIZZA, and it is a delicious, nutritious dinner that you hope to have leftovers of so you can eat it for lunch again tomorrow! It’s just as good cold.
This recipe serves four people with two eggs each. I use a family sized pie plate and two tortillas. If you want to make less in a smaller pie plate, just adjust accordingly. Shoot for two eggs per person, and the rest is up to you.
The vegetables: Use what you have on hand. I like to use chopped onions, red peppers, broccoli, mushrooms, and of course spinach. I add spinach to almost everything it seems. These are vegetables I always have on hand because I mostly use freeze dried vegetables – but if you have fresh out of your garden, AWESOME! Use those.
ingredients: 8 eggs 1 cup cottage cheese, beaten into the egg mixture 2 large tortillas seasoning salt of your choice assorted vegetables, suggested: diced red peppers, chopped onion, sliced mushrooms, broccoli flowerets, spinach shredded cheddar or blend of cheddar and pepper jack
directions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat eggs till frothy Add cottage cheese and beat it into eggs till well blended Arrange tortillas in a large pie plate. Cut the 2nd one into half or even quarters to arrange in pie plate making sure all of the plate is covered. Pour egg mixture in. Assuming you’re using the same vegetables I use, begin by arranging about 1/2 – 3/4 cup mushroom slices in the bottom of the egg mixture. Sprinkle about 1/4 cup chopped onions on top of them. Sprinkle about 3/4 cup red pepper slices over top of the onions. Arrange small broccoli flowerets in some empty places between the red peppers. Sprinkle a layer of spinach on top of everything else. I put quite a bit on (about a cup of freeze dried spinach) If using freeze dried vegetables, use a fork to gently submerge all vegetables into the egg mixture so that they’re moistened by it. Season with salt and pepper. Add a layer of shredded cheese. Be generous. 1-2 cups.
Place into heated oven in the middle rack, and set the timer for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes test the middle to see that it is no longer liquid – ‘jiggly’. If it needs a few more minutes, lower the heat to 325 and lay a sheet of aluminum over top to prevent the tortilla crust from over cooking.
Watch it carefully at this point so that you don’t over cook it. When the center is firm, remove from oven and let the ‘pizza’ rest on a rack for 10-15 minutes.
Remove from pan and cut into wedges as for a pizza. Serve. Enjoy. You can eat it with your hands, and it’s pizza so DO.
Here’s my Secret: When I make this quiche pizza (or anything similar to it), unless I have fresh garden vegetables, I use freeze dried vegetables. But not just any freeze dried vegetables. After trying many different brands over the years, I now use Thrive Life freeze dried vegetables. There’s a good reason for that, and its a very important one to me (actually a few good reasons, but I’ll tell you five of them).
1. Thrive Life guarantees that their produce is picked ripe (at the peak of what nature intended that fruit or vegetable to be), AND guarantees that in less than six hours from harvest (usually two to four hours), that produce is washed peeled, chopped and flash frozen! Locking in the colour, texture, taste and ALL the natural goodness. In that frozen state (-40 degrees Celsius), it is transferred to a facility where it has all the remaining moisture removed without it thawing. That’s the second step in the two-step process of freeze drying.
2. Thrive Life fruits and vegetables are as organic as you can get without them being ‘certified’ organic. They monitor the process of planting, growing, harvesting, freeze drying and packaging from beginning to end. It’s part of what they call their NUTRILOCK Guarantee and its something they take very seriously.
3. Because of this attention to detail, Thrive Life foods are the BEST in the world and that is no empty claim. They have always been the best, but as of the beginning of 2024, they are also the biggest freeze dried company in the world. They literally are “Fresher-than-Fresh”, or what we frequently refer to as ‘fresh’ – the produce in our grocery stores, which are picked green if possible and are subjected to long travel times to get to us – anything but ‘fresh’.
4. Thrive Life freeze dried food has a 25 year shelf life, making it the most dependable, shelf stable, nutritious food on the market – the perfect choice for anyone interested in emergency preparedness, and long term food storage. So that means I always have fruits and vegetables in the pantry, ready any time I might decide I’d like to have spinach in my homemade quiche, or cheese on a homemade quiche, or mangoes in our yogurt, or blueberries on top of cereal or . . . . . well, the list is endless. And its always there because once you open that can, you can count on it being perfectly good for about a year afterward.
5. The other important reason I use Thrive Life freeze dried food is the convenience. Those vegetables are already washed and chopped. I just sprinkle the onions from the can, distribute the sliced mushrooms or red peppers from the can, add a layer of spinach from the can. It’s quick and easy. And guess what else? They even have freeze dried eggs! I literally had this recipe ready to go into the oven in less that ten minutes. With zero mess!
There now you have it. My secret. How I do things. And make no mistake – I’m all about down home goodness, and doing things from scratch. These are not ‘processed foods’. These are CLEAN, WHOLE FOODS and nothing but. Making dinner from scratch still counts even when you’re using freeze dried food. Don’t let anyone tell you different.
I hope you’ll try this easy recipe for a great dinner, lunch or brunch. Whether you use garden fresh, freeze dried or a mixture of both as I do much of the time.
Loaded with bright, fresher-than-fresh ingredients, a burrito bowl is a fresh, healthy, customizable meal that the whole family can enjoy. It contains a few basics pantry staples like rice, beans, chicken (or beef), salsa, and shredded cheese . . . and then you add the extras: peppers of your choice, tomatoes, corn (not to be missed in my opinion) and dressing (either lime or salsa). Burrito Bowls are essentially a wrap without the tortilla, but you do you. Wrap the fixings in a tortilla, or serve them on top of cooked white rice or your choice, brown rice or quinoa. Use chicken, pork or beef, or skip the meat all together if that’s you – your choice again. Switch it up next time – to give you a completely new dish.
True confession: I have a hard time writing down a recipe because it varies so much almost every single time I make it. So much depends on what I happen to have on hand at any given time. I love having freeze dried food because I can count on it to ALWAYS be there. I do often jot down the ingredients for a recipe so that I don’t have to rely on memory every time, but the amounts I rarely write down. This recipe is my best attempt to include the necessities while encouraging you to use what you have on hand. I will highlight the freeze dried ingredients in RED for your convenience.
I used instant black beans, freeze dried ground beef, cheddar, onions, corn and peppers in this picture. I didn’t have any fresh tomatoes on hand, so I used tomato powder instead. In the summer I for sure would have used a fresh tomato.
It is helpful to me to prepare everything ahead of time – I use mostly freeze dried, so they’re already prepped. Usually it simply a matter of assembling them to make it easier. I used black beans in this picture, but don’t go out and buy black beans if you don’t have them today. Use what you have: red, kidney, pinto, pink . . . .
The amounts in this recipe will serve 4 adults. ingredients: 2 T oil of choice garlic minced beans meat of choice (or no meat) vegetables: peppers, onions, corn, tomato seasonings Taco seasoning 1 water served over rice 2 dressing 3
Prepare ahead and assemble ready to go: 1 cup raw black beans – bring to a boil in 4 cups water the night before. Boil for 5 minutes, then cover and set aside over night. Drain in the morning, top off again with 4 cups of clear water then bring them back to a boil with 1 teaspoon of salt. Reduce heat and simmer approximately 3 hours till beans are tender. Old beans will take a little longer to cook. OR use canned black beans. OR refresh 1 cup INSTANT BLACK BEANS*. If you use hot water, you can expect them to refresh in about 20 minutes. If you use cold water it will take 30+ minutes.
Shred or chop cooked chicken to yield approximately 1 +1/2 cups. OR use the same amount of cooked ground beef OR refresh 1 cup FREEZE DRIED DICED CHICKEN OR refresh 1 cups FREEZE DRIED GROUND BEEF*
Cook your favourite rice. Set aside. OR cook rice, then use it to make Cilantro Lime Rice (see recipe below) OR cook quinoa
slice 1/2 fresh green pepper, 1/2 red pepper, 1/2 onion (red or white) OR use 1/2 cup FREEZE DRIED Red and 1/2 cup FREEZE DRIED Green Peppers, 1/3 cup FREEZE DRIED SLICED ONIONS (don’t refresh any vegetables first)
dice 1 large fresh tomatoes OR use 1 cup FREEZE DRIED Chopped Tomatoes OR use 2 Tablespoons Tomato Powder (dehydrated tomatoes powdered) added with the seasoning.
chop up a handful of fresh chili peppers or jalapenos OR use 1/3 cup FREEZE DRIED CHILI PEPPERS
measure out 1 cup grilled whole kernel corn (fresh from the cob) set aside (use more if you love grilled corn) OR use 1 cup frozen corn OR use1 cup FREEZE DRIED SWEET CORN(use more if you love corn) optional but nice: toast your dry corn in medium hot skillet with a tablespoon or two of olive oil till it has a beautiful grilled look and smell
Shred 1+1/2 cup cheddar cheese or pepper jack cheese OR refresh 1 cup FREEZE DRIED SHREDDED CHEDDAR or PEPPER JACK CHEESE
Seasoning: 1 Tablespoon Taco Seasoning OR your own Taco Seasoning (see below)
Directions: 1. Heat oil in medium hot skillet, and lightly toast minced garlic and corn for one or two minutes or till it gives off a nice aroma, stirring constantly to prevent burning. 2. Add freeze dried onions, peppers and tomato. Continue to toast for another minute. If you are using fresh vegetables, then take the time to saute over high heat while stirring constantly. 3. Add 2 cups water and continue to stir. 4. Add prepared meat and prepared beans. Continue to stir. 5. Add seasoning with tomato powder if you’ll be using it. 6. Turn heat off, add most water if needed. Add chopped tomato and stir in. 7. Add shredded cheese and stir to thoroughly combine.
Serve approx. 1 cup fajita mixture over top 1 cup rice, and top with dressing of your choice.
optional but nice: 2 cups freshly guacamole optional but nice: 3 cups chopped fresh lettuce – make it a salad optional but nice: a bunch of fresh cilantro lightly chopped and added on top at serving optional but nice: sour cream to serve on the side optional but nice: lime wedges for serving to squeeze additional lime flavour
Pico de Gallo OR Salsa OR Lime Dressing (recipe below)
This is such a quick and easy dinner to make, especially when using freeze dried ingredients. Who says dinner needs to take an hour to prepare? Please try it – I’d love to hear your comments.
Enjoy! warmly, Cindy Suelzle
Footnotes:
Homemade Taco Seasoning 4 T Chili Powder 3 T Cumin Powder 1 T Smoked Paprika 2 teaspoons EACH salt, garlic powder, onion powder 1 teaspoon black pepper 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes – this combination will give you approx. 3/4 cup seasoning. I usually use it 1 T at a time. Don’t be afraid to try new combinations of your own. ↩︎
Cilantro Lime Rice 3 cups cooked rice of your choice 1 T olive oil, 1 clove garlic minced, 5 green onions chopped, juice of 2 limes, zest of 2 limes, 1 bunch fresh cilantro chopped pinch of red pepper flakes if desired. Salt and pepper to taste if desired. Toss everything together and serve. ↩︎
CILANTRO LIME DRESSING 1 cup fresh cilantro lightly chopped 1/2 cup plain yogurt or sour cream 1 clove garlic minced 1 T apple cider vinegar 1/4 cup olive oil 1/3 cup mayo 1/4 t salt 1 T Thrive freeze dried chopped onions OR 1/2 teaspoon onion powder juice of 1 lime Puree in blender. Chill till ready to serve. can Store in fridge for a week ↩︎
Playing the game of “What if?” can start to seem pretty real when you see it up close and personal, especially if it’s going on in your own house. Here’s our current scenario – Influenza Outbreak: a widespread influenza outbreak during the winter leads to a health crises. What do you do to protect your household, care for anyone in your house who is sick (while protecting the others), and reduce health care strain. What if you have a vulnerable person in your house?
So – let’s talk about this. It’s pretty close to home – what with Covid still fresh in all our minds. It’s especially fresh in my friend Karen’s mind – she was diagnosed recently with Whooping Cough, also known as pertussis (also known as the 100 day cough) which is highly contagious and apparently going around in Alberta just now. Who knew? Symptoms don’t show up for 5-10 days after exposure, and start out looking like a common cold, so you could easily be spreading the disease without even knowing you have it. Which is probably exactly how she caught it. It can cause serious and even deadly complications in young children and vulnerable people, so its best if you stay away from others if you’ve got symptoms, but who really even knows what the symptoms are? I’ve actually never even known anyone who had it.
I have a good friend with a child who’s received a transplant. I have a cousin who has received a transplant. These people who I love, take medication every day of their lives to suppress their natural immune system, so that their bodies won’t fight off and destroy the new organ that is keeping them alive. From the outside, they do not look any different than you and me, but to come into contact with illnesses that for you or me may be innocuous or uncomfortable at worst can be very serious for some – and may actually kill them.
Their situations make me much more aware of being healthy around them. And make me want to be more responsible in public.
Reviewing the Rule of Three: AIR, SHELTER, WATER AND FOOD – the big one for me in this scenario is definitely AIR since it is very hard to catch one’s breath – so I’m told. If you have asthma or other lung issues, it can be downright scary, and the LAST thing you want to do is pass it on to someone with young children.
Staying home is the responsible thing to do when you’re sick but how many do? Hopefully Covid made us a little more responsible about that. Wearing a mask in public if you have to go out is not as weird as it used to be – that goodness, so I’d hope if you knew you were sick, you’d wear one out of respect for everyone else you might come into contact with. Since the beginning symptoms of Pertussis are identical to those of a common cold, courtesy implies that if you think you’re coming down with a cold, you’d cover your mouth, cough into your elbow, wash your hands frequently, use hand sanitizer and follow all the other usual protocols we learned.
It goes without saying that those preventative measures would be implemented for one’s own protection, but also to prevent you spreading the disease if you were sick.
And the last area of focus is FOOD. I know several people who live in apartments and rely on public transit to get around, including going to a grocery store. For some, if you’re not feeling well, going out to buy groceries suddenly becomes a much bigger job than it used to be. But . . . . what if you had a good supply of food on hand? What if you had at least an extra week or two worth in your pantry? What kind of peace of mind would that give you with one less thing to worry about? Especially if you’re not able to work, and are not getting paid.
And what if you’re well enough but several people you know are down with the flu? and it seems like such a bad one? You still have to go to work, and still have to get groceries. How you do protect yourself?
These kinds of scenarios are not obscure. They are very real, highly likely and happen ALL the time. Just because it isn’t happening to you right now, doesn’t mean you might not suddenly find yourself in that situation as easily as anyone else might? Why not you?
The question is then: What would you do?What have you already done to prepare for such a scenario?
Do you have a couple of weeks or more of shelf stable food on hand to at least take that worry away? Do you have a little money set aside to buy prescription medication if necessary? to cover some bills if you have to miss work for several days and don’t have coverage? Do you have some common over the counter medications on hand? Advill? Tylenol? etc. Do you have a friend or relative in mind who you could call on to help you if needed? Have you made yourself available to others who might need help in a similar situation? Do you have emergency numbers handy if you need them? Is your phone usually charged?
What are some other things that you can prepare for JUST IN CASE?
I’d like to hear your thoughts or experiences on this subject. Feel free to comment below.
