Provident Living and Self Reliance

November 18 of this year was a Sunday.  We woke up to an unusually cold house.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to confirm that our stupid furnace wasn’t working.  In fact, we suspected it stopped working the day before. In November in Edmonton, you don’t get along for too long without a furnace!

You may have experienced something similar.  If a furnace is gonna quit, its gonna do it in the winter time when its working steady. I know lots of others have had this very thing happen.  It may not be common, but it is not rare.  It was SO not in our plan for that cold November Sunday. The problem is, these kinds of things never ARE in the plan.  Who schedules the furnace quitting into your weekly calendar?  But planning for these kinds of possibilities makes all the difference in how you get through them. 

Provident Living
We could spend hours talking about the different facets of it. But cutting to the quick, being “provident” means having foresight and providing carefully for the future.  Its about taking care of yourself today AND tomorrow, and being prepared for the unexpected.  And it IS God’s temporal plan for His children.

Many years ago, Dan’s uncle was selling his motorhome. It was a nice one and he had taken exceptionally good care of it, and Dan really thought we should have it. He spent considerable time trying to talk me into it, and finally convinced me. Sort of. Mostly, I just gave in.  Then one day he came home from a session of General Conference and said “We’re not buying Uncle Ernie’s motorhome.” 
I was just starting to warm up to the idea. LOL

It was October 1998. President Gordon B. Hinckley had just told those attending a general session for the men of the church to GET OUT OF DEBT.  “I am suggesting” he said ” that the time has come to get our houses in order …  Self-reliance cannot obtain when there is serious debt hanging over a household. One has neither independence nor freedom from bondage when he is obligated to others.” He went on to say “I urge you brethren, to look to the condition of your finances. I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchase to avoid debt to the extent possible.  Pay off debt as quickly as you can, and free yourselves from bondage. This is part of the temporal gospel in which we believe.”  He concluded his remarks with this “If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts.” 1

It wasn’t that we hadn’t heard the counsel to stay out of debt before. In fact, we felt strongly about it, and even tried to live it.  But that particular talk became one of those defining teaching events in our lives. It spoke to Dan’s heart and when we discussed it, it spoke to my heart.  It changed things for us. We recommitted ourselves and began working with intent toward becoming completely free of debt. 

Three years later, Dan lost his job. A job we had every expectation that he would retire from.  “Downsized” was a relatively new word at the time, but people were getting used to it.  One day he went to work as usual, and a few hours later he was home.  And that was that.  The truth is, nothing ever went back to ‘normal’ after that day. We owe a LOT to our strict obedience – finally – to the emphatic admonishment President Hinckley gave that evening three years before.  When a prophet speaks that forthrightly, that emphatically, and that urgently – it is a good idea to pay attention. I am so glad we did.

When we had a family meeting a few days later, to tell our kids that Dad no longer had a job, there was silence for a long time.  Jacob was just home from his mission, and he asked the questions everyone wondered. “What does this mean? How is this going to affect us in the day to day?”  Of course these were questions we had talked about ourselves before we met with the kids. We could tell them this: “Because we listened to, and obeyed the prophet’s counsel to get out of debt, we believe we will ride this out without too much pain. Our most important goal is to keep this house. It is the only thing we owe money on, and every energy must  be spent on making sure this house is never in danger.”

Things didn’t work out the way we hoped they would.  Dan never re-entered his field. After months of looking, he re-entered the workforce taking a job paying $12 an hour.  We had plenty of opportunity to reinforce our testimony to our kids of some very important principles. Like TITHING, FOOD STORAGE, and living within our means – which means avoiding DEBT. 

I could not even begin to count the number of times I shook my head and said to myself, or to Dan, or to whatever kid happened to be standing nearby “Wow. Can you imagine?  If we had had credit card debt, we would have lost this house by now!  Who knew this would go on as long as it has?” 

Provident living and being self reliant are not just Latter-day Saint ideals.  It is a very popular concept among all sorts of people who focus on independence.  However, there are a few things that I think are important to keep in mind when talking about Provident Living in a Latter-day Saint context.  And as with all important things, we get our most reliable tutoring from the scriptures.

So where in the scriptures does it tell us to prepare for the furnace to quit, or to get a food storage in, or to stay out of debt, or put some money aside in case the unexpected happens?

Well, we know that when the Lord speaks thru his prophets, that is scripture to us. Almost 60 years before President Hinckley gave that talk, (in 1941) President Heber J Grant spoke from the pulpit “If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family,” he said “it is to live within our means. And if there is any one thing that is grinding and discouraging and disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet.” 2

In the Doctrine & Covenants we read “… verily I say unto you that all things unto me are spiritual, and not at any time have I given unto you a law which was temporal; neither any man, nor the children of men; neither Adam your father, whom I created.
Behold I gave unto him that he should be an agent unto himself; and I gave unto him commandment, but no temporal commandment gave I unto him, for my commandments are spiritual; they are not natural nor temporal
…” (DC 29: 34,35)

For the 72 hours we were without a furnace last November, we were surprisingly comfortable. We were sure glad it wasn’t 37 below, but there were other things that made that easier for us.  Being prepared for possibilities can take a near tragedy and make it nothing more than an inconvenience.  And not being prepared can take an inconvenience and turn it into a tragedy. We had always worried about what we would do if we lost heat in the winter.  That was the worst case scenario in our stay-at-home emergency plan. So over time, as we could afford it, we worked toward some solutions.

  • many years ago we spent considerable energy re-insulating our attic. We’ve noticed that it has made a big difference in our house retaining heat in the winter, and cool in the summer.
  • we have a gas fireplace which we turned on immediately.
  • we have a woodstove downstairs with a flat top for cooking if necessary
  • we have a few cords of wood stacked up outside, some of it by the back door, and some of it downstairs beside the wood stove
  • we’ve had some bad experiences learning to light that stupid stove when it was 30 below. We’ve smoked out the whole house that not only set off the smoke alarm, but took weeks to get rid of.
  • we had some money set aside for emergencies that we were able to use to fix the furnace

All these things we used on that Sunday and Monday.  By Tuesday morning, it was as if nothing had ever happened, except that our house smelled slightly of wood smoke.

We were so grateful for planning ahead for a possibility we hoped would never happen. And who knows? That might have just been a test run. I hope not.  

Provident Living and being Self Reliant means that we learn skills that will help our family should the unexpected rear its ugly head.  Knowing those skills takes the fear out of the unexpected.  Years ago – before I made my first long distance road trip without Dan, he thought it prudent to teach me how to change a tire. I admit, it wasn’t my finest moment. To say I was resistant would be giving me too much credit. I had absolutely no desire, but he insisted.  He made me come out and watch him as he patiently explained each step while he removed a tire, and put it back on. I stood behind him watching and noticed how dirty his hands were getting and I thought “You canNOT be serious! I am not touching that. And what if I break a nail? That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.”  I didn’t vocalize any of those thoughts and wisely Dan didn’t insist I actually demonstrate all I learned. 

I have since learned to change a tire. I use a CELL PHONE. The way I look at it – I have five sons and a husband. And I didn’t put up with all those boys for 40 years for nothing! Problem is, I got a flat tire in Montana, when I was far from any of those boys. And far from AMA, and in a dead zone for cell coverage. My very pregnant, but smarter niece was with me. Guess who changed the tire? Another one of my un-finer moments.

  • If you drive, the likelihood of you having a flat tire is extremely high. In fact, I’d venture to say its inevitable. Just a matter of time.  Its part of driving. 
  • If you live in Canada, the likelihood of you having a furnace issue one day is real. Even high.
  • You may have some unexpected and unusually high bills one day – that knock the wind out of you.
  • One day you may find yourself unemployed.

None of these things have to destroy you. Every one of them can be dealt with better and more smoothly with a little bit of foresight and providence.

Sit as a family and review some possibilities. And then talk out possible solutions.

  • What would we do if we lost heat in the middle of winter? How would we get thru the first few hours? What if it went on for a few days?  
  • What would we do if Dad suddenly couldn’t go to work? What is our plan to get thru the first few weeks? What if it went on for six months? What if he never worked again?
  • What skills should we learn to make our life more comfortable if things suddenly changed?
  • What if we had to cut our grocery budget in half?
  • What if we had a few bad months when we had zero money after the bills to buy groceries at all?  

During some very lean years, it never occurred to me for a minute to say “Wow, wasn’t that lucky that we happened to have a food storage downstairs?”  

When Dan lost his job, it never occurred to me for one minute to think “Wow, wasn’t that lucky that we decided several years ago to get out of, and then forever after avoid debt?

Luck had no part in any of that. They were both results of obedience to the counsel a loving Heavenly Father – given for our comfort and peace of mind.

Some things to put on your list:

  • FOOD STORAGE: Get one!  If you’ve got one, keep it up. I have heard too many older people say something like “Now that the kids are gone, there’s not much point. I don’t bother with it anymore.” Are you kidding me? Did you suddenly stop eating? Who’s supposed to feed you?
  • DEBT:  Get OUT! Out Out Out. Avoid it like it is the plague it is. If you cannot pay for it by the end of this month, you cannot afford it.
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Wait for it. Save for it. But do NOT “buy it on time”! There are very few necessary exceptions. Obviously we have to borrow for a house. Sometimes one has to borrow for a reliable vehicle. (be reasonable. Affordability is still key here.) Sometimes one has to borrow for an education. But make paying those debts off a priority, starting with the smallest one first.

You can say “We cannot afford this.” Try it. Its not as hard as you might think it is. Just form the words: “We. Can’t. Afford. It.” See? not that bad. Use that sentence more. If you cannot pay it off by the end of this month – you CAN. NOT. AFFORD. IT! Stop feeling ‘less than‘ because you don’t have all that someone else has. Perhaps they can’t afford it either, but they’ve unwisely chosen debt to make it look like they can. Come ON. Those are mind games we play with ourselves, and ultimately we’re the losers. Stop feeling that you deserve this or that. I’ll tell you what you deserve. You deserve peace of mind. And you’re never gonna have it, no matter how nice your truck is – as long as you owe money.

I do not speak against nice vehicles. I don’t speak against nice vacations. Or leather furniture. If you can afford it, do whatever your little heart desires. But remember – if you can’t pay for it by the end of the month – you cannot afford it. Live with that. And man up to it. Live within your means and be grateful for all you DO have, instead of counting all the things you don’t.

EMERGENCY SAVINGS:    If you can only put $5 a week away, then put $5 a week away.  But do something. The Lord blesses us when we obey. We don’t have to do great things. Small things count in His eyes, and the Lord blesses us for them.

When referring to the story of Nephi finding ore to build tools necessary to build a ship, L. Tom Perry said “I have sometimes wondered what would have happened if Nephi had asked the Lord for tools instead of a place to find the ore to make tools. I doubt the Lord would have honored Nephi’s request. You see, the Lord knew that Nephi could make the tools, and it is seldom the Lord will do something for us that we can do for ourselves. The Lord does help when we go to Him in times of need, especially when we are committed to His work and respond to His will. But the Lord only helps those who are willing to help themselves. He expects His children to be self-reliant to the degree they can be.”

Elder Perry went on to say “Independence and self-reliance are critical to our spiritual and temporal growth. . . . . If we increase our dependence on anything or anyone except the Lord, we will find an immediate decrease in our freedom to act.”  3 (GC October 1991) 

We all could go on and on and on – giving examples and bearing testimony of how living the principles of Providence and Self Reliance has helped us and how they put us in a position of being able to be more charitable. And we could be uplifted and edified by it all.  And I think we should have those discussions.  In this article, we could only skim over the basics of such an all encompassing gospel lifestyle. And make no mistake, that is exactly what it is. A lifestyle. Learning skills that will help us be self reliant is a life long focus. It is a lifestyle. And it yields gratitude and peace of mind.

I encourage us all to look again at our our situations – no matter where we are on the spectrum, and find a way to do better. Make it your goal this year to become more self reliant and work toward that goal every single day.

The Lord will help us, but remember what Elder Perry said, He will “help those who are willing to help themselves. He EXPECTS [us] to be self reliant to the degree that [we] can be.”

Two more scriptures to leave you with.  I find them very motivating when I recommit myself to follow counsel from the Brethren “Why call me Lord, Lord and do not the things which I say?” (Luke 6:46)

“I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say, but when you do not what I say, ye have no promise.” (DC 82:10) I cannot think of anyone I would rather have bound to me, than Him.  And He promises. He says “I the Lord am BOUND when ye do what I say.” It is my prayer that we will all willingly “Bind” Him to us as we strive to live what He says. As we strive to live providently, and to know the peace and freedom of a self reliant life.

Warmly,


Cindy Suelzle

footnotes:

  1. General Conference October 1998, Priesthood Session – To the Boys and to the Men. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1998/10/to-the-boys-and-to-the-men?lang=eng
  2. Heber J. Grant, Relief Society Magazine May 1932, https://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/10/latter-day-prophets-speak-strengthening-the-home?lang=eng
  3. L. Tom Perry, October General Conference 1991 https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1991/10/becoming-self-reliant?lang=eng

The Night We Nearly Went to Sleep Forever

So a couple of weeks ago, my son’s family’s carbon monoxide detector went off in the middle of the night. My daughter in law admitted that her first reaction was to assume it was a mistake and to shut it off before it woke the kids.  Do you ever think like that? Really.  Did she truly want to wake the kids up?  Get them out of the house at midnight on such a chilly night?  It was November!  In her exhausted state, she was certain that if she went back to sleep it would all be better in the morning.  She didn’t realize it then, but this line of thinking is a symptom of carbon monoxide poisoning.  How do I know that?  First hand experience.

Gratefully her more sensible side prevailed before she allowed herself to fall back asleep.  “What is the point of having a carbon monoxide detector if I’m going to argue with it?” she reasoned.  “Who do you even call at midnight anyway?  Where do I take the kids if we have to leave the house?”  Of course this had to happen during the ONE night her husband was away from home.  Figures!  She called 911.  They told her to get the kids up and get out of the house!  She did.  They all bundled up in the van.  Four little sleepy-heads, not up for an adventure in the wee hours of the morning.  Not much of an adventure anyway, when you’re stuck in car and all the action is going on in the house.  But there WAS a firetruck!  And the firemen WERE wearing masks.  And all those things helped to make the adventure a little more “fun”.  “Fun” bytheway, is all in the eyes of the beholder. 

In the end, it was determined that the exhaust from a running car in the attached garage had filtered through the air and apparently took a couple of hours before it rose to the second level where the family slept and finally set off the alarm.  After an investigation by the gas company and an airing out of the house, it was safe for everyone to go back inside for the last couple hours of sleep – a little wiser for the experience.

Several lessons learned.
1 – car running in the garage with the exhaust pointed toward the inside door – even though the big garage door was open to the fresh evening air …. ooops.
2 – Yes. Pay attention to the carbon monoxide detector and assume it ‘knows’ more than we do about the invisible, odourless, silent killer – carbon monoxide.
3 – GET OUT! Get fresh air.
4 – Call 911
5 – Don’t go back inside till you get the all-clear from a professional.

Know why she didn’t go back to sleep?  Because she remembered hearing something about an experience many years ago that nearly cost us everything that mattered.  The night we very nearly went to sleep forever.  The memory came back, vague as it was, as she laid in a nice warm bed wondering what to do.  It motivated her to get up.

As we chatted about it the next day, that long ago December night came back to me in vivid colour.  Like a movie replaying, where I had a front row seat.  I watched it unfold in slow motion – although the whole event in reality took only a few minutes.

Jacob and Sarah sitting on the front door step of our first house in Calmar, probably in the summer of 1982. He would have been 4, she would have been 3.

We lived in an old house.  A fixer-upper.  But we had fixed it  up and it was cozy.  And it was ours.  Well, we shared it with the bank.  We lived in a little farming town just south west of Edmonton called Calmar.  My husband commuted to Edmonton.  We had a garden.  I ground wheat to make our bread, just like the “Little Red Hen“.
We had lived there almost five years.  Two of our three children were born during those five years.

It had all the charm of quaint old houses and all of the problems that often come with them too.

Money was tight in those days, but we took on projects as they rose to the top of our priority list and as we could afford them.   During our second summer we re-shingled our roof and re-insulated our walls and roof.  (of course when I say ‘we’, I mean the ‘royal we’, as in “DAN”).  Bytheway, you’d be amazed at how little insulation is actually IN old  houses.  Not much!  No wonder our walls frosted up in the winter.  Original furnace too.  It was kinda neat.  Not very efficient, but waaaaaay cool.  And huge.  Took up half the basement.  Our house was older than my dad!  Which at the time seemed really, really  old.  At least as old as my Gramma’s house where he was born and raised.  Many good memories were lived out in that house.  …. And then again – there is THIS memory.

It had been an unseasonably cold autumn.  The furnace ran all the time it seemed.  I hardly ever left the house in those days anyway – which is a subject for another time.  The house seemed to always have a chill.  We wore sweaters and slippers, but I didn’t mind.  It was part of the charm of living like the Little Red Hen in an old house.  Part of the romance I suppose.  I know right?  What can I say? I was very idealistic in those early years.

I spent a lotta time standing on the heat register, reminded of doing the same thing on chilly mornings when I was a child.  But I had a constant headache.  A dull throb that never seemed to go away.  I suspected it had something to do with the air I was breathing, standing on the heat register – warm air directly from the furnace.  And I wasn’t feeling well most days. Funny why I suspected that.

To be cautious we called our local gas company, and asked if they would come out and check our furnace for possible gas problems.  Perhaps even carbon monoxide I suggested.  This stupid headache!   Calgary Power sent out a service man and he checked our house.   How he did so I have no idea, because he missed a deadly problem that should have hit him right in the face.   Nope.   ‘Nothing amiss‘ he said.   Sorry about your headache but no connection to your furnace.   It was a relief at least to have that nagging question resolved.

Days and weeks passed.   Dan went to work and came home.   The kids and I went for days without leaving the house.   That was just kinda the way I rolled in those days.   As Christmas approached we made plans to go to my folk’s house for the holidays.   In Fort Kent, Alberta.   Another little farming town about four hours northeast.

It was Christmas of 1983.   Our three children were Jacob – five years old, Sarah – four years old and Zack – an infant.   We spent a few wonderful days visiting Gramma and Grampa, cozied up in their comfortable acreage home.   The best way to do winters in Canada. Or at least how I did them.

After a few days, we loaded everyone back into the car and drove home.   Not sure what time we arrived, but it was dark.   And night time.   (Dark doesn’t always mean night time at the end of December up here.)   We were anxious to get the car unloaded and get to bed, but Jacob and Sarah were refreshed from the walk between the car and house, and they wanted to play with their new toys.   Santa had been good to us.   New toys to play with, new books to read.   I let them play while we got settled.   Zack fell asleep as soon as I laid him down.   Huh.   That was unusual for him. 

I became very tired myself and sat in the rocking chair while Dan continued to unload the car.   I was so tired.   Jacob and Sarah soon lost interest in their toys and laid on the floor of the toy room – within my sight line.   I told them to put their toys away and go to bed, but they continued to lay there.   Unusual for them.   Frustrated, and so wanting to go to bed myself, I told them to just go to bed, we’d put everything away in the morning.   They slowly drug themselves off the floor and walked past me to their bedroom.   Tipsy.   Like they were dizzy and couldn’t walk straight.   I became alarmed.   They shouldn’t be this tired.   Come to think of it, neither should I.   I could not get myself off the chair to go check on them.   When Dan finished unloading the car and came into the living room I said “Dan, there’s something very wrong.   Jacob and Sarah wouldn’t listen to me, and when I told them to go to bed, they could hardly walk straight.   And I am. So. Tired.

Dan went to the basement and came flying back up the stairs. “Cindy!  GET UP.  We have to get out of here.  The house is FULL of carbon monoxide!”  He phoned his dad in St. Albert, a good hour north of us, to see if we could go there.  No cell phones in those days.  “Cindy!  GET UP!  Grab the baby.  We have to get out of here!”  He ran past me to grab an already sleeping child and took them out to the car.  “Cindy! GET UP! Grab the baby!”  He ran past with another sleeping child.

I recall watching him in slow motion, thinking very clearly “I better get up.  …. We need to leave the house. ……  We can’t stay here. …. Yeah.  I need to stand up and go pick up the baby.  I really should help Dan.  … We need to get out of here.

CINDY!” he shouted again and ran by with the baby.  “GET UP! I NEED your help.  Grab a suitcase.  We’re going to Dad’s.”  Then he was back for me.  Three sleeping children in the car, he pulled me from the chair and walked me out the back door.  I have a vague recollection of the walk and of getting into the car.  The fresh air was good to breathe.  I hadn’t realized my stupid headache had come back.

Somewhere during that hour’s drive to St. Albert, with my window cracked open and fresh air clearing my head, I said “We could have died.”  There wasn’t anything else to say.  We drove mostly in silence.

Christmas holidays isn’t the easiest time to find someone to replace your furnace, and we imposed on my inlaws longer than we expected, but it didn’t take long to sort out what had been happening in our home while we were gone.  Slowly, over the cold weeks of October and November, our old furnace had been leaking carbon monoxide into our home.  The daily opening and closing of the doors I suppose – of Dan going to work and coming home, had been enough to keep the air from being lethal.  But four days of being closed up tight had filled the house with a higher concentration which literally took only minutes to incapacitate all those within.

What if? What if? 

What if Dan hadn’t been in and out and in and out bringing in luggage and Christmas presents and all the other paraphernalia that fills up a car when you travel with three kids?  What if he’d too said “I’m tired.  Lets go to bed.  We can finish this in the morning.” ?  What if he hadn’t thought to check the furnace?  How could he possibly have known what it meant to find the rusted out chimney?  The image to the left is not our old furnace, but it is the nearest image I could find to illustrate it.  At a certain point a metal pipe exhausts into the brick chimney.  When Dan touched it to check the join, it crumbled in his hand – screaming the horrible truth that the air that should have been leaving the house for all these months, had in fact been staying in the house.

I’ve thought about that young and incompetent Calgary Power repair man from time to time over the years.  Why didn’t he catch it?  Because we trusted him we didn’t trust ourselves when we suspected that we had a “furnace issue”.  He was the expert after all.  What did we know about the price-of-rice-in-China?  That’s why you call a professional.  What else should we have done?  If there is one thing I have learned repeatedly over the years, it is to trust that ‘feeling’, that inner voice that speaks of something amiss.  When someone contradicts that ‘feeling’ – it is better to continue to trust the feeling than the often well meaning person who says otherwise.

We replaced the furnace that week between Christmas and New Years.  It took every dime we had saved for a rainy day.  All Dan’s holiday pay from the whole year of not taking vacation.  Who knew what we had been saving up for?  How grateful we were to have had it.  Grateful for whatever inspiration had prompted us to set it aside. After all, sometimes rainy days are in the middle of winter.  When we finally returned home about a week later, we marvelled at how modern and sleek the new furnace looked.  How little room on the floor it took compared to the old gravity fed octopus of a furnace that had nearly killed us.  It seemed immediately that our air was cleaner.  Fresher.  No more headache.

Soon enough the memory faded.  Tucked away behind the everyday urgencies of life with a growing family.  Every once in awhile I’d hear something on the radio about a family who all died in their sleep.  Victims of carbon monoxide poisoning.  And I would remember.  And I would shiver at all the what-ifs.  I would wonder what their final hours had been like.  Before they all decided to go to bed.  Had they received warnings that they ignored?   Did somebody say “Something isn’t right.  We should get out of here.”  Many years later, we learned of a new fangled thing called a carbon monoxide detector that one could buy and have in their home.  You can bet we own a few.

I’ll tell you what I believe.  I believe in guardian angels.  I don’t believe they have wings.  I think they look pretty much like you or me.  I believe that an angel – one especially assigned to us, stood in our living room and watched those few minutes unfold.  Yes, all that happened in probably less than fifteen or twenty minutes.  I believe he or she had (and still has) a vested interest in us.  He or she loved us, and was very likely related to us.  A wise man named Jeffrey R. Holland told me that in a talk I heard years later, and I knew when I heard it that it was true.  I already had a testimony of it, but the truth of what he said resonated in my heart again as if he spoke directly to ME.  I knew that we had been warned weeks before that night when I first formed the words “carbon monoxide“.  I didn’t even fully comprehend what carbon monoxide was, but the words were meaningful to me nonetheless.  We had been warned repeatedly in various ways, right up till that very night – when we “luckily” decided to get-the-job-of-unpacking-done before retiring for a well deserved winter’s sleep.  I really, truly believe that.  And I thank my Heavenly Father for tender mercies.  I thank Him for allowing two other children to join our family in the years following that night, and for allowing our original three children and their new brothers to grow to adulthood and have children of their own.  I thank Him for paying attention to us, for watching over us.  And I thank Him for guardian angels.

–  –  –  –  –  –  –  –

Carbon Monoxide is a silent, invisible, odourless, ruthless killer.  It is a gas formed by incomplete combustion of carbon.  Although our homes and furnaces are considerably better than they used to be, CM still claims victims every year – especially in the winter time.

Here are some tips to help prevent carbon monoxide from building up in your home:

  • install carbon monoxide alarms on all levels of your home and test the alarms regularly
  • never idle vehicles in an attached garage, not even with the garage door open
  • have your fuel-burning appliances (furnaces, fireplaces, gas dryers) cleaned and checked annually
  • contrary to what I once believed, carbon monoxide is not heavier than air, so installing a detector lower on the wall is not helpful. In fact, carbon monoxide is slightly lighter than air and diffuses evenly throughout the room.
  • it is recommended to install your detector centrally outside of each separate sleeping area in the immediate vicinity of the bedrooms. If you have more than one sleeping area, then install detectors in all sleeping areas.
  • do not install carbon monoxide detectors directly above or beside fuel-burning units such as fire places, wood stoves or gas appliances, as appliances may emit a small amount of carbon monoxide upon start-up.  A carbon monoxide detector should not be placed within fifteen feet of heating or cooking appliances.
  • clear snow from all fresh air intake vents, exhaust vents and chimneys
  • do not use gas-powered generators, charcoal or propane barbecues/grills, or kerosene stoves indoors, or in closed space.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE SUFFERING FROM EXPOSURE TO CARBON MONOXIDE?

Symptoms of CM poisoning are tricky.  They are similar to other ailments and are progressive.  They closely resemble the flu.  Initially, you may have a dull headache, feel nauseous, dizzy, weak, a general unwellness that lingers.  Left long enough, you may even start vomiting.  The conditions become worse over time and you may eventually feel chest pains, shortness of breath, trouble thinking clearly, blurred vision, possible convulsions and finally,  loss of consciousnesses.  The poisoning can be fatal.
In my case, I had been feeling symptoms for weeks – no doubt made worse by the fact that I often stood on top of the heat register, breathing the warm air that was blowing up and keeping me warm.   I would sometimes even read while I stood there – completely oblivious to what was coming with that ‘warmth’.   The poisoning was gradual, leading to a continuous state of feeling poorly, but I kinda think that if we’d had such thing as a Carbon Monoxide detector, it would have been screaming!    I hope you have one.   I hope you replace the batteries often enough.   I hope it works!

If for any reason, you suspect carbon monoxide is in your home or people are experiencing symptoms:

  • Have a professional come in and check it out.   We did that, and it wasn’t much help – in fact it caused me to second guess myself and gave me a false sense of security.    Trust yourself and how you’re feeling.   Get someone else to check it out.   If you have a CM detector, that IS your professional.
  • If your CM detector goes off – GET. OUT!   Leave the house immediately.
  • call 911 once everyone is outside
  • don’t go back inside till you’ve got the all clear from a professional

My personal advice for those of us who love old houses – REPLACE THE FURNACE.
Old houses might be great, but old furnaces are not.

Warmly,

Cindy Suelzle

footnotes
1.  Jeffrey R. Holland
– Ministry of Angels, Ensign, November 2008, pg 29

Who is the Most Important Person in This Room?

Michael McLean said something to me years ago that has reframed my life.

It has helped me hundreds of times, when I needed to come out of my personal comfort zone and do what needed to be done.  He said simply this: “Its never about YOU.”  Then he added the following, summarized in my own words, and edited over more than a decade of implementation, but the essential concept in this post came from Michael McLean.

Woman at the Well by Liz Lemon Swindle

His counsel:  Every time you walk into a room (or situation) you have a decision to make.  As you stand briefly in that threshold, before you actually walk through the door, you should ask yourself one question.  That question is “Who is the most important person in this room?” If the answer to that question is “ME!” then you are completely justified in all kinds of self centred thoughts like “I am uncomfortable here …. This is awkward for me … No one ever sits beside me … Why bother? … This is soooo out of my comfort zone …. I’d really rather not be here …. ” etc etc – because after all, you ARE the most important person in that room.  However, (and this is the clincher), IF the answer to your question today is . . . . . “that woman over there!” or “Laura!” or …. then suddenly, as soon as you’ve made that decision, your thoughts become all about her.  “I should go sit beside her – I should tell her how I LOVE her new hair – I should tell her how much I enjoyed her son’s talk last week – I should tell her how much I appreciated that comment she made the other day, and how much it helped me” etc etc.  Notice how all your previously self centred thoughts and feelings, turned 180 degrees to focus on someone else.  I really think we all want to BE nice.  We all want to BE the kind of person who makes other people feel good about themselves.  What that boils down to, is that we want to BE more Christlike.  More like Christ.  Well, if that is genuinely true, then think for a moment.  WHEN was it about Him?  When did He put himself first and say “nobody likes me”, “They’re not gonna like what I have to say” “I am so stinkin’ sick and tired” … Even when He hung on the cross, it still wasn’t about Him!  “Father forgive them.” and  “Woman, behold thy son” (John 19).  When?  When there are other people involved, when should it be all-about-me?

The fact is – sometimes it IS about me.  Sometimes I really have to say “this time – I just cannot do that“. And those times are okay.  But they should be rare exceptions, not the rule.  Most of the time, no matter how you’re feeling, when you’re in a place where you see someone who might need a kind word or wave, or even more – simply ask yourself – “WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THIS ROOM?”  I cannot tell you how much that has helped me be a better person and get over myself for the moment. Thank-you Michael.

The only time it backfires is when you raise your children with this philosophy, and then one day when you’re really struggling and feeling sorry for yourself, your daughter says “So why is this all about you mom? Who’s the most important person here anyway?” Stupid kid!

Warmly,

Cindy Suelzle

Best time to start was Yesterday. Second best time is right this minute.

So we woke up Sunday morning to an unusually cold house.   I admit that we turn the heat down quite a bit at night, and I admit that I keep the bedroom window open a crack even in the winter time – making it a pretty chilly room sometimes. . . . . . But THIS was cold even for me!

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to confirm that our stupid furnace wasn’t working.  Oh Burrrrruther!  SO not convenient!   In fact, we suspected it may have stopped working the day before.  We had been out most of the day and went to bed as soon as we got home.  Upon reflection it did seem a little chilly to me.  . . . . . Could have been off a good 24 hours before we discovered it.  Sheesh!  Its November in Edmonton!  You don’t get along for too long without a dependable heat source!

Lucky for me Dan was home, so he could take charge of figuring it out – LOL.  I hate doing that sorta thing.  Unfortunately however, none of his ideas worked.  Lucky for both of us, our son in law Ray lives within an hour’s drive.   He’s a pretty smart guy, AND he works with furnaces.  He put his Sunday going-to-church-with-his-family plans aside so that he could come help Dan fix the furnace.  (Thanks again Ray)  It was a bigger problem than any of us expected and he needed a part that could not be purchased on Sunday.  So that meant another 24+ hours without our furnace running.  This was SO not in the plan for a cold November day.

The thing about these kinds of occurrences is that they seldom are “IN the plan“, but planning for their possibilities makes all the difference in how you get through them.  They quickly move to the top of your list of priorities without much warning.  Seriously, in Edmonton a furnace is pretty close to the top of any priority list in November.  Fortunately for us it wasn’t bitter cold outside and fortunately for us again, there wasn’t a strong wind blowing.  Both things to be grateful for, but there were other things to be grateful for too.  Factors that contributed to how this next 48 hours played out.

Let me tell you the “rest of the journey”.

Among the many factors that went into making this experience easier for us, I want to focus on four.  Things that we were very glad to have paid attention to when they were manageable and affordable.  Perhaps you might find them helpful too, so here they are.

Factor #1
At the beginning of our married life, we committed to do our very best to prepare our home and family for potential hardships.

That early decision smoothed out many difficulties over the years and prevented undue stress at times when we would have been least able to deal with it.

We knew some of these preparatory projects would cost hard-to-come-by-money in those early years.  We committed to make those things a priority, and sometimes priorities require sacrifice.  We also knew we couldn’t afford to do everything at once.  It would be a work in progress, that we would complete one step at a time.  As we could afford it.

Factor #2
As part of that ongoing commitment to prepare ourselves, several years ago – maybe 15 years ago, we invested in reinsulating our house.   (We also re-insulated the first house we owned many many years ago.  It seemed like a good investment.  And it certainly paid off.)  We paid particular attention to the attic where Dan blew a special insulation all over the surface of it.  This may seem like an unusual project in preparation for future hardship, but remember, we live in Edmonton. …..  We planned for the extra insulation keeping our house more efficient winter and summer.  Truly it has paid off.  Big time.  Many times we continue to still be amazed at how long the house keeps its warmth in the winter, and how long it keeps a morning coolness in the summer.

Factor #3
About a decade ago, we decided to save up and buy a wood burning stove.  We did considerable research before choosing one, and we had it installed in our basement that November.  It became a major part of our Christmas that year.  We opted for a free standing woodstove that had a flat top upon which we could boil water and perhaps even cook a meal if needed.  We positioned it to be on the other side of the wall of a 250 gallon water tank which stands in the adjoining laundry room.  No mistake on the positioning of it.  Having 250 gallons of clean water is a wonderful thing, but losing heat in an Edmonton winter could freeze that water, and turn a very good thing – VERY bad.  That was a major concern of ours, and we deliberated upon how to prevent potential freezing in the event of heat loss.  The wood stove would serve a dual purpose.  Heat the basement, and prevent the water from freezing.

Factor #4
A wood burning stove is useless without a lotta wood!  So we purchased a few cords of clean-burning wood and stored it in our backyard.  We have a stash close to the back door, and we have a bin in the basement close to the stove.   We keep kindling nearby, and of course matches.  We learned the trick of lighting a fire in a wood burning stove when the outside chimney is 40 below zero.  If you think that isn’t important, then you have never tried it.  Cold air in the chimney makes it impossible for lighter warm air to rise above it.  The result? A smoked out house that takes weeks to get the smoke smell out.  Don’t ask me how I know this.

Factor #5
We tried for years to put a few dollars aside for emergencies.  We weren’t always successful but our hearts were in it and we tried to make it a priority.  Sometimes that is more difficult than one might imagine.  We get it.  However, a little here and a little there is what makes the difference.  Some thing is better than nothing.  Having a few extra dollars on hand can take a potential tragedy and turn it into an inconvenience.  And the opposite is equally true.

So with these factors in mind, let’s return to our Sunday without a furnace.  There were so many things to be grateful for that turned our experience into nothing more than an inconvenience.  The absence of some of the preparatory steps however could have had a completely different outcome.

Good thing / Bad thing
I like to play the good thing – bad thing game.  It helps me put things into perspective and appreciate blessings in my life.

* Good thing –  this happened on a day that Dan was home. Yay for me.
* Bad thing –   he couldn’t fix it.  Boo.
* Good thing –  Ray was in town and able to come and help. Yay.
* Bad thing –  he couldn’t fix it without an important component (the board), that could not be purchased on Sunday.  Boo.
* Good thing –  we have a gas fireplace upstairs.  We turned it on as soon as we realized we had no other heat.  We also have a wood stove in the basement.  Dan lit the fire right away and added some logs to it.
* Good thing –  the wood stove downstairs soon heated the basement to a toasty warm and we only needed a few logs to maintain it.
* Good thing – Dan kept a supply of house suitable logs cut and accessible for winter burning.
* Good thing –  we were surprised at not only how sufficiently the wood stove heated the basement, but how much of that heat flowed upward to keep the main level comfortable.  It wasn’t long before we were able to turn the gas fireplace off.  Of course sweaters and slippers were useful in keeping us comfortable.
* Good thing: once the house was comfortably heated again, it retained that warmth for an exceptionally long time.  Thank goodness for good insulation.
* Good thing – extra quilts and duvets made sleeping comfortable.
* Good thing – we had set enough aside for emergencies,  to cover the unexpectedly high cost of the new furnace piece we needed. Something to be especially grateful for.

By Sunday afternoon, we understood the earliest we would have a working furnace was late afternoon the following day.  Before bed we stoked the fire and kept it burning low.  Fortunately we still had embers in the morning that made reigniting it quick and easy.  We were pleased and surprised to note that the house had maintained a reasonable warmth during the night, and that the next morning was considerably less chilly than the previous one.

The moral of the story is to plan for and be prepared for emergencies which are reasonable in your area.  Sometimes those emergencies take the form of unfortunate situations.  Prepare for those too.  Sometimes that preparedness is the result of years of effort and commitment.  Usually that is the case.
One of my favourite mottos is “Best time to start was yesterday.  Second best time is right now.”

Warmly,

Cindy Suelzle